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They said that Siberian helicopter like joking. If you pull a tractor or bulldozer on external sling carousel in the clouds are driving and a tractor outside the reserve, and so fly leisurely. The guys with AH-24 said that they had seen once a flying tractor. In Surgut came, they gave that head on Mi-8 is. They let us look for him, they saw something flying, but definitely not a helicopter. We went for closer-... your mother, tractor! It is said that the roof almost moved out. Charms are not visible, only the tractor slowly swaying whistling under the clouds. And doperlo to them right away that this is the revolving door is.
Joke #60229 —  
 
1
 
Rumor has it the night of holuin Putin donned the Prime Minister, and served until the morning all orders Medvedev.
Joke #60228 —  
 
0
 
- Who are you?
- Knight.
- Why come?
- And I'm still you do not lay.
Joke #60203 —  
 
0
 
- Doctor, where are you? As for me, the swine flu! ..
- And my old mother and two children!
Joke #60201 —  
 
0
 
Moscow. Night. For two bears wander the streets. One teaches the second:
- Tin is better to choose a flasher. There meat is fatter.
Joke #60195 —  
 
0
 
I would like you to send, but I see you there.
Joke #60184 —  
 
0
 
Infected pigs have chosen to attack the Ukraine. Tooth for a tooth.
Joke #60183 —  
 
0
 
Yanukovych appeared on TV: - I want to increase the population of Ukraine up to
50 million and personal loans that ...
Joke #60182 —  
 
0
 
Little Johnny to his father:
- Daddy, I just read about a Frenchman with an incredible
stomach, able to digest everything. He got into the Guinness Book
for having eaten his bicycle.
Dad:
- Yes it is garbage, nashie Russian officials and is not so can they
always eat roads, bridges, houses, cement, and sometimes even
fertilizer.
Joke #60181 —  
 
-1
 
- Money also suffer. Because they do not have me.
Joke #60180 —  
 
0
 
- Tell me, what is a glamorous tusovka?
- Well, this is when lots of people, all crumpled shirts, torn jeans
and on his head all the way in different directions.
- I told you yesterday we were at the glamorous coterie, and you are "sobering-up station,
detoxification.
Joke #60179 —  
 
0
 
- Is it true you have in Odessa say "sho"?
- Yes Th for stereotypes!
Joke #60178 —  
 
0
 
Hopeless loneliness - is when you write a letter and do not get
response.
Joke #60177 —  
 
0
 
The inability to think independently only reinforces their desire to collectively
think.
Joke #60176 —  
 
0
 
This intellectual never say "fool itself", he says "you
not qualified to make criticisms addressed to me.
Joke #60175 —  
 
-1
 
Husband - wife:
- Honey, you would like to have had three?
- Of course, darling!
- Tomorrow is coming, my mother ...
Joke #60174 —  
 
-1
 
- I do not understand this modern art.
- Yes, there is nothing easier. If the product can walk around, it
sculpture. And if hanging on the wall - hence the picture.
Joke #60173 —  
 
0
 
- There are only two reasons that prevent you to become a top model.
- What is it?
- Your feet.
Joke #60172 —  
 
0
 
Guest says the waiter in a restaurant:
- I wonder, is trying to see if your chef those dishes which you are applying?
- Our chef has to cook, and not have it, and then lie
the hospitals.
Joke #60171 —  
 
0
 
Triple-known singer anniversary: 60 years on stage, 50 years in the union and
40 years birthday.
Joke #60170 —  
 
0
 
At the doctor:
- What ails you?
- I have a bad memory.
- What else?
- And still I have a bad memory.
- And more!
- And still I have a bad memory.
- Yes, I understand that you have a bad memory! What else??
- And still I have problems with hearing.
- What else?
- What did you say?
- And more!
- What did you say?
- What else?!
- Ah-ah! Even I have a bad memory.
Joke #60169 —  
 
0
 
- Izzy, and you believe in the second coming?
- Oh, Fima. And to anyone here going? And sho still there to watch?
Joke #60168 —  
 
0
 
- At our factory housing question does not exist. New Director
issue decided.
- How is it managed?
- All those who did not have an apartment, he fired.
Joke #60167 —  
 
0
 
- Vladimir Vladimirovich, and democracy in Russia is?
- Of course there is. That'll give orders, and your question is necessarily
published.
Joke #60166 —  
 
0
 
Scientists found that the Large Hadron Collider best black
holes are obtained from Russia's raw materials.
Joke #60165 —  
 
0
 
Taking care of its citizens, Russia's government released a new
kind of security - an option to bribe: to pay the money you
can now, and enjoy the right to bribe the right for you
moment.
Joke #60164 —  
 
0
 
Ministry of Health warns: all there will be.
Joke #60163 —  
 
0
 
The epidemic in Ukraine - pigs revenge tuft of lard!
Joke #60161 —  
 
0
 
In connection with the current epidemiological situation in Ukraine,
President Viktor Yushchenko has demanded acknowledge SVINOMORA. Russia fears
that the blame for SVINOMOR may be assigned to it.
Joke #60160 —  
 
0
 
- What is a flu epidemic in Ukraine?
- At one chihnuvshego - 10 crap.
Joke #60159 —  
 
0
 
The women's bra can make 2 masks flu ...
Joke #60158 —  
 
0
 
- Basil, as you have such harmony in the family? - Well, beat, beat, and has made!
Joke #60156 —  
 
0
 
If you give the waiter a tip - you need to give the taxi driver and the tram, plumbing for laying on the vibrator and a prostitute.
Joke #60155 —  
 
-2
 
- How to find a woman's navel? - Grope a woman on the back of the spine and lead on it down. The navel is the third "chpok.
Joke #60154 —  
 
3
 
Topical about the deadly virus in Ukraine: In Ukraine the epidemic. Per chihnuvshego 200 crap. Said of the helicopters sprayed over Ukraine concentrated degradat nation.
Joke #60153 —  
 
1
 
Scientists have shown that in the group "Viagra" after the departure of Vera Brezhnev would Katia Andropov, Chernenko, then Julia, then Larissa Gorbachev. She and a former group.
Joke #60152 —  
 
0
 
In dolphins died favorite children - Timoshka. In nastoschee Dolphinarium, the Administration looks for replacement of the guard.
Joke #60151 —  
 
1
 
In the surgical department acted deaf patient. Appointed him to the operation. The surgeon turns to his sister:
- Anesthesia!
Sister, in surprise:
- Why? He's deaf!

Joke #60150 —  
 
0
 
A jumper-novice asked the instructor:
- What if the parachute does not will be revealed?
- Open up a spare.
- And if this does not will be revealed?
- Very quickly wave your hands.
After some time, knocking out the window:
- And what to do now?

Joke #60149 —  
 
-1
 
- Dear, I have to leave for two weeks.
- Good!
- And you do not want to ask where and why? . .
- Happiness does not ask where it had fallen! ...

Joke #60148 —  
 
1
 
One employee went to his master and said:
- Sir! Why are you paying me only five cents, and Ivan is always five rubles?
Master looks out the window and says:
- I see someone coming. It seems to be taking us past the hay. Come, let's see.
Released employee. Went back and says:
- True, sir. Like hay.
- And do not know where? Maybe with Cemenivskiy meadows?
- I do not know.
- Go and find out.
I went to the employee. Again included.
- Sir! Similarly, the Semenov.
- And do not know, hay first or second mowing?
- I do not know.
- So go down and find out!
Released employee. Returned again.
- Sir! First mowing!
- And do not know for what?
- I do not know.
- So go down and find out.
Go. He came back and said:
- Sir! In five rubles.
- And do not give cheaper?
- I do not know.
At this point, is Ivan and says:
- Sir! Drove past the hay meadows with Cemenivskiy first mowing. They asked for 5 rubles. Struck a bargain for 3 rubles for the WHO. I drove them into the yard, and they're unloaded.
The master turns to the first employee and says:
- Now you understand why you pay 5 cents, and Ivan 5 rubles? ? ...

Joke #60147 —  
 
2
 
Husband comes home in the evening on the horns. Wife:
- Drunkard! Not work! The whole house is on me! Child I do! Flats my parents gave! You're nobody! I'm the hostess!
Husband gives her a silent drum. Wife falls. He is crossing it. Phone to friends, sit, drink vodka in the kitchen. Friends ask:
- And Th you have a wife in the corridor lies?
- The mistress of the house where it wants and lies.

Joke #60146 —  
 
1
 
- Mom, and all fairy tales begin with the words "Once ..."?
- No, sometimes with the words "Honey, I'm a bit held up at work ..."

Joke #60145 —  
 
0
 
The man visited his friend in the hospital and says:
- Well, it is a long time to be treated.
- You talked to the doctor?
- No, I saw a nurse.

Joke #60144 —  
 
0
 
Arriving at the grave of her husband, his wife cried and cried, and then calmed down and a little thought, said:
- The only joy in the fact that I know where you are now sleep at night.

Joke #60143 —  
 
0
 
Preschoolers have a psychologist.
During the reception comes to the cleaning lady a la Baba Yaga and the grumbling begins yulozit not quite a clean cloth on the floor, such as washing. The doctor, quite restrained hints - I welcome, would you be so kind. . Grandma does not respond. The doctor again, already open tekstrom asked me to come later.
At that sex worker spreads, all she thinks about "all hodyut here" and begins to poke a mop in the legs of a chair visitors. Adults at a loss, from this. Then the kid "inserts its five"
- Went to x * uy!
Silent Stage, a cleaner bullet flies out into the corridor. Doctor in the card kid wrote: "A mentally healthy, adequate reaction"

Joke #60142 —  
 
0
 
When a boy is born in China, then take the silver spoon and throw it on the metal sheet. When it falls, it is the sound of metal: Jin, Dnun, Jian, and give the names of Chinese-born boys.
And when a boy is born in Spain, then gaining a bucket of water and poured onto the street through the window, so they have the names: Pedro and Julio!

Joke #60141 —  
 
0
 
- Dad, tell the tale ...
- Well, listen, son. Tomorrow I'll come home early, sober,
buy my mother flowers, you bike ...
Joke #60140 —  
 
0
 
Teacher asks:
- Little Johnny, tell me what this time - "I was swimming," "do you bathe?
- Summer, Saturday, noon.
Joke #60139 —  
 
0
 
- Rooster sell?
- No.
- And why has brought?
- Chickens without him on the market did not want to go.
Joke #60138 —  
 
0
 
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