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Plastic Surgery Clinic welcomes you, freaks!
Joke #39456 —  
 
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The inscription on the gate of the court:
"No toilet"
It written following marker:
"Coming soon"
Joke #39455 —  
 
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There were programmers Gopnik. They shoot the money to debug the code.
Who does not - beat baseball bytes.
Joke #39454 —  
 
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Conversation two psychoanalyst.
- I mainly work with actors, athletes and politicians.
- With politicians, colleagues working poor ...
satiriki.ru
Joke #39453 —  
 
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Sitting at a window two flies, one said another - "you know, but I never
falling on the sticker, "the other" Well, yes, to you, even velcro to stick
afraid "!
Joke #39452 —  
 
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Asked the little girl:
- Who want to be?
- Singer.
Ten years.
- You want to become a singer?
- No.
- And why?
- The legs are short.
Joke #39451 —  
 
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Veda a double life, so that at least one failed.
Joke #39450 —  
 
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Hourglass with the inscription "Leaving Time" and the gift with a hammer
saying "Wait, do not go" ...
Joke #39449 —  
 
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Put his, pulled out and walked. Love ... ATMs.
Joke #39448 —  
 
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Toast.

One day, having gone to the mountains, I froze both his feet, and they had
amputated.
But friends have not abandoned me! They were in my hands, so I do not
felt flawed!
Once friends have raised me high in the mountains, and I froze his hands, and
they had to be amputated.
But friends have not abandoned me! They began to give me what I wanted
write me a letter that I did not feel flawed!
One day, my friends carried me to the mountains, where I froze what makes
man a man, and it had to be amputated ...
But his wife did not notice anything!
So let's drink to friends, who relieved in a difficult moment!
Studios.
Joke #39447 —  
 
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Weekdays scout

Called Hitler Shtirlitsa and says:
- Everything! I can not stay longer! Flee to the partisans!
- Samovolnichat wanted, Petya? The Tribunal will go!
Joke #39446 —  
 
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Lovely girls!
If already on the first date a mature man is impressive
you and udavshimsya athlete, and a very successful businessman, and may
be even, the owner of the six-room apartment in the heart -
Moscow, do not succumb to such provocation. Very likely
your future chosen successor, saying that you thought only about how the same
he, in the very near future, will appear in your own erotic
fantasies.
Simply spectacular mature men know what it is - "erotic
fantasy.
Ivan Fuckov
Joke #39445 —  
 
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One designer suits to another - that at no point ...
After 5 minutes out of the bathroom - in the hands of the wet mat ...
The first asks: what are you doing this?
Second: Yes, that's - mouse pad washing.
First: Are you - just the roof gone?
Second: Yes, that's done booklet McDonalds ...
First: And that - spilled cola on the rug?
Second: No, the mouse problevalas ....
Joke #39443 —  
 
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- Have you heard about the terrorist act against Sergei Ivanov? - No! As
happened? - In the New Year's morning, he discovered in his bed
seksbombu!
Joke #39442 —  
 
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The case of the Department of State

The era of the late Brezhnev. Zbigniew Brzezinski, U.S. Secretary of State, explains
brilliant plan for the enslavement of Russia in the State Department:
- ... That's the way we expand Russia! But no, you were! Connect
me with Dresden. I must consult with Major Putin ...
Joke #39441 —  
 
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A guy complains to his friends:
- I was pulling lately. Nerve. My wife says, because that
drink the dirtiest. In fact, it's time to change everything. Today try
calming aftershave ...
Veland88
Joke #39440 —  
 
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Look at the monitors of the country! New heartbreaking thriller "Three hundred
Trojans!
Joke #39439 —  
 
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Men do not always fit the expression:
"It can, whenever you want!"
Joke #39438 —  
 
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- How great is that the habit of women to have their feet on the shoulders
Men!
- But what's wrong with that?
- So they are also always trying to do it from the wrong side!
Joke #39437 —  
 
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Gay parade in Jerusalem ... Why do not they hold a gay parade in Sodom and
Gomorrah? It's not far, and shot up the place, even God does not need to aim
will ...
Joke #39436 —  
 
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The name of Putin's successor is already known, but the name is not disclosed in
interests of the investigation ...
Joke #39435 —  
 
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The Moscow court:
- Young people, why are you sitting on the back of the shop and put on the seat
dirty feet? When you sit on this bench other people and spoiled,
sorry, my ass!
- No, excuse me! We both sat there because other people have
stained this seat his dirty ass.
Joke #39434 —  
 
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USA. Capitol Hill. Near the Capitol, walking Petka and Chapay.
Petka:
- Vasili Ivanovich! And you know the three greatest American Jews, eh?
Chapay:
- Ha! Petya! Well, who does not know them! This is Batman, and Spayderman Cuperman!
Veland88
Joke #39433 —  
 
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- Quickly get dressed, my mother has come!
- BL-ling! Nothing not even have time! Yes, so I come to you once again come ...
Voice-over:
- Mama - the best contraceptive!
Veland88
Joke #39432 —  
 
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Management Spartacus, hoping to repeat the successes of CSKA Moscow, has appointed a chief
coach of the former army Fedotov. It did not help. Now they have
Cherchesova - moustached Ossetians. We are waiting for results.
Joke #39431 —  
 
0
 
- And fetch me one, sir, flower ... vermillion.
- Lord is with thee, my girl, I still have a conditional sentence for cocaine is not
ended.
Joke #39430 —  
 
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- A girl and who told you that you're beautiful?
- All my men so they say ....
- And probably they are tireless lovers?
- And how did you guess?
- Well it's just .. That's how to want sex
that so shamelessly lie ....
Joke #39429 —  
 
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From the conversation between two girls:
- The hardest thing to get acquainted with the non-drinker and non-smoking man of the bar.
Joke #39428 —  
 
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The guy begs the girl to sit on his lap
Then he was on his hands ..
And all this so that she then sat on his neck.
Joke #39427 —  
 
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Love for the Motherland easily enhanced by increasing wages
10-15 times.
(c) Sj
Joke #39426 —  
 
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- Mash, has long wanted to ask you. What are you all in 40 years, like a fool with
pigtails you go?
- For safety.
- How is it?
- Well, do you remember our school boys, which we liked, for braids
pulled?
- Well, Th?
- Nitsche. They grew up. Olka so last week, her ex-car
detonated. Tanya dacha burned. And me, my only catch up in the doorway,
pigtail pulled over, and free!
Joke #39425 —  
 
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- I have bread, circuses and vodka ... However, the vodka can be without bread and circuses!
Joke #39424 —  
 
0
 
In fact, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but some of the ladies
effectively use and roundabout path through the liver.
Joke #39422 —  
 
0
 
- Expensive, but give me a birthday something so that I can easily
so the right foot to press - and rrraz, the arrow from 0 to 100 for three
seconds!
After a few days:
- Favorite, so your bathroom scales!
cameraman@girlhunt.ru
Joke #39421 —  
 
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- Little Johnny, the conditions under which the liquid evaporates quickly when
heating or cooling?
- It depends on what liquid Marivanova.
- Nonsense. All liquids have the same physical properties.
- Mom was surprised. However, experimental studies conducted
convincingly that the vodka from the refrigerator evaporates in
average
three times faster than if it simply leave the window.
Joke #39420 —  
 
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- You're on vacation to do?
- Do not! Nothing!
Joke #39419 —  
 
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- You know who is Sergei Zverev?
- I know, at P begins.
- Yes, okay, here all their own.
- P. .. P. .. Parihmaher.
- Do you know who is Boris Moiseev?
- I know, at P begins.
- Yes, okay, here all their own.
- P. .. P. .. Singer.
- Do you know who this Alexander Lukashenko?
- Pidaras, shit! That's who he is!
Joke #39418 —  
 
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They talk to two friends:
- Just imagine, yesterday came to visit, and I began to tell
salacious anecdote. So I presented it at the door.
- Well done! Rightly so.
- And all the guests to hear the end of the sack him!
Joke #39417 —  
 
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Romantics - these are people who love happens more often than sex.
Joke #39416 —  
 
0
 
Advertisement:
For the production of ravioli "Powerful" buying wholesale flour and
heroes.
Joke #39415 —  
 
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Tits does not allow to look at a woman on the other side.
Joke #39414 —  
 
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State Duma proposes to introduce a new law: if a citizen of Russia has
in his bank account worth at least $ 5 million - he
automatically assigned the status of deputy of the Duma.
Joke #39413 —  
 
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Most inaccessible and forbidding girls break up only a very evil
and persistent hackers!
Joke #39412 —  
 
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Primitive men have learned to speak after the women decided to
take not by force but by persuasion.
Joke #39411 —  
 
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- My dear, it seems to me that you love me less and less ...
- Well, what are you, dear, in general, I love you just the same! Easy
Love density per unit weight gradually falls.
Joke #39410 —  
 
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Head on his shoulders should be, and not just to eat.
Joke #39409 —  
 
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- Credit is designed for you?
- No, on the refrigerator.
Joke #39408 —  
 
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Announcement: Buy missile surface-to-Earth and the exact coordinates of the
of the project "Dom-2".
Veland88
Joke #39407 —  
 
0
 
Advertising: A new air freshener with the scent of cannabis. Because of their
shit you've never laughed.
Joke #39406 —  
 
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Grandma comes enlistment.
- Give me a medal and a guerrilla benefits!
- And you are the partisans?
- Sama-no, and supplying the guerrillas - wore them fat, bread, milk ...
- Yes, no grub not povoyuesh ...
- And how! They told me everything Danko, Danko ...
- So that were the Germans!
- Germans, Germans. But from the GDR.
Joke #39405 —  
 
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