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Life is not chess - there is not enough of a mat, to the King
relieved of his duties.
Joke #39699 —  
 
0
 
The phrase: "The deputies in the protection of defrauded co-investors," sounds like
"Director of the pet store for the rights of hamsters.
Joke #39698 —  
 
0
 
Hockey World Championship.
Announcer:
- Here, here he scored from the penalty, the player of our team goes one on one with
Canadian goalie. Shot! And a broken rod drops. One More
throw
and goalie falls unconscious. Judge indicates that no violations.
Fared well, our striker Valuev.
Joke #39697 —  
 
0
 
Not lucky our generation. That they had long awaited and so
necessary but difficult and painful transformation of women in person.
Joke #39696 —  
 
0
 
In Armenian Radio asked:
- They called it a city in honor of the widow of John Lennon?
Answer:
- Yes, there is such a small town in Japan: "Yoko - bitch!"
Joke #39695 —  
 
0
 
If you want to dispute with you was the last word, after
shoot yourself.
Joke #39694 —  
 
0
 
Citizens, be vigilant, ads can contain an element of truth!
Joke #39693 —  
 
0
 
Grandfather came to the shore of the blue sea and began to click goldfish ...
For every 10000 clicks Fish performed one wish.
ksely
Joke #39692 —  
 
0
 
- Hottabych, and you can cast spells without the utterance of spells?
- About Wolken, so I always like and Kolda.
- What, you're always saying: "Trahtibevdoh?
- You see, on Volcker, this is not quite a spell, just going
several thousands of years to fulfill the wishes of different e ...
such spells are not going to say.
Joke #39691 —  
 
0
 
Icon (c) (copyright) in Russia indicates (c) tyreno.
Joke #39690 —  
 
0
 
In Russia, do not give bribes in Russia pay for labor costs.
SivSA
Joke #39689 —  
 
0
 
Putin issued a decree in which the word "Russia" will now male
kind.
Joke #39688 —  
 
0
 
You can drink for a long time past victories, but you can not drink away the next.
Joke #39687 —  
 
0
 
On May 9, Germany celebrated the day of participation.
Joke #39686 —  
 
0
 
The interesting this week with a holiday in the middle ..
Monday and Friday, two, two ..
mad & bad
Joke #39685 —  
 
0
 
The winner of the contest for students to search the Internet was Ivan
Sidorov. He was the only one who managed to find pictures of clothed
Paris Hilton.
Joke #39684 —  
 
0
 
Coffee gives strength, so it and drink when you do not want to work.
Joke #39683 —  
 
0
 
Yesterday frightened hedgehog bare ass. He now stutters, and I do not sit
not.
Joke #39682 —  
 
0
 
If the emotions came out, it is better to ventilate the room.
Joke #39681 —  
 
0
 
What do you call when the father of your wife - gay - having sex?

Sausage in the test.
Joke #39680 —  
 
0
 
In Odessa opened a new store ritual "Shop you zdoh.
Joke #39679 —  
 
0
 
New Russian, world-weary life, all seeing and all having,
sunbathing on the beach and suddenly saw a goldfish in the water, DAC, and its
says:
- Come on, think me three wishes!
Veland88
Joke #39678 —  
 
0
 
- Recommend, where you can quickly buy a hamster?
- You're so fond of animals?
- Actually, yes. But at the moment I need a cheap bag
Cell.
Joke #39677 —  
 
0
 
GAI slows the car for speeding. From there, "hover"
in the trash drunken lady. Spits on the road candy and says:
"Imagine, with liqueur caught!"
Joke #39676 —  
 
0
 
Dispersal of clouds more than the dispersal of Dissent, but the noise is much
less!
Joke #39675 —  
 
0
 
Not so strong a warrior as his spirit.
Joke #39674 —  
 
0
 
When talking with a very clever, you feel stupid.
And when you talk with a blunt, you feel like tupeesh.
Joke #39673 —  
 
0
 
Sometimes luck so crushed that and can not breathe.
Joke #39672 —  
 
0
 
DIVORCE - institutionalized mechanism to unhappy spouses
try again to become unhappy.
Taken from
Joke #39671 —  
 
0
 
"Pope Carlo, I have something with the kidneys" - complaining Pinocchio, nervously
drinking water.
SivSA
Joke #39670 —  
 
0
 
Children logic
Daughter: Dad, who is a prostitute?
Dad: Oh! where you heard this word?
Daughter: In the garden. Vadka said that I was a prostitute. Because I'm him
longer give. And give Valerik.
Dad: What!
Daughter: a teddy bear. Do not give to play with a teddy bear.
Dad: Ugh, God! Vadka yours - durynda. A prostitute: Naughty
woman - that's who she is!
Daughter: Naughty why?
Dad: Because she's selling.
Daughter: So, Aunt Olga - a prostitute? She also sells in the store. So
be - selling.
Dad: No, Aunt Olya not selling because it sells souvenirs. A
prostitute sells herself.
Daughter: How does it - yourself?
Dad: It's very simple. Anyone who wants to can buy it. At the time.
Daughter: Why?
Dad: To sleep.
Daughter: Sleep?
Dad: Yes, in a crib.
Daughter: So then, a prostitute - it is our mother?
Dad: You're crazy!
Daughter: But she's sleeping with you for money?
Dad: For love or money?
Daughter: Because thy wages.
Dad: Is this money! .. No, she's with me - for love. I hope ...
Daughter: As with Uncle Fyodor?
Dad: What? Which is Uncle Fyodor?
Daughter: From the second entrance. Well, when you were on a business trip, then we
slept Uncle Fyodor. With my mother in one bed.
Dad: Fyodor? In bed? I'll show her! Prostitute! (Runs away).
Daughter: It is strange: what kind of mother a prostitute, if she and Uncle Fyodor not for
money, but for love? ...
http://www.korova.ru/
Joke #39669 —  
 
0
 
There in the corridor Gestapo Stirlitz and Shrek.
"Stirlitz" - think Shrek.
"Drink less necessary" - was horrified Stirlitz and grabbed his head ...
Joke #39668 —  
 
0
 
Man, reshivshiysya finally fuck in the kitchen is the wife of his aging
best friend, suddenly discovers that she has a huge and very
sensitive clitoris. And in general all very interesting it is designed.
- Wow! Sveta! Well, from Anton podlyanku I was definitely not expected. And you
scum, 20 years of silence?
Joke #39667 —  
 
0
 
- Mama, where children come from?
- Where? Camel! - Answered honestly camel mother-son
camel.
Joke #39666 —  
 
0
 
As a young man who did not call for a seance, always appear
prostitute.
Joke #39665 —  
 
0
 
One cannibal says to another:
- Well, what are you views on the peasant, with whom we last met?
- I did not even know he was a real problem, I never managed to
bite.
Joke #39664 —  
 
0
 
For you fans of the domestic manufacturer, AvtoVAZ puts on
Conveyors new wheelbarrow: LADA-Pandora!
Advertising slogan: "... just open the hood ..."
Joke #39663 —  
 
0
 
Ferrari pontovaya machine, that's only there to fuck embarrassing!
SivSA
Joke #39662 —  
 
0
 
- What is the difference between Yushchenko and Putin?
- Putin is right, but not the kingdom, and Yushchenko's reign, but does not rule.
Joke #39661 —  
 
0
 
- Can Yushchenko in the current political situation to save his face?
- But is it worth to keep such a person?
Joke #39660 —  
 
0
 
In decent countries revolution always devours its children.
And in Ukraine - no.
Squeamish!
(C) Robie
Joke #39659 —  
 
0
 
Two businessmen go to the third visit, for talks. Third very
rich man who has a huge house in the center of Moscow, with an income
Over $ 5000000 per month.

Call the owner of the house: the Lord! I'm sorry, I'm a little opazdayu, and
while my butler will show you my house.

They come two businessmen to a third home. Meets their butler, little
Does not drawn from London. Proud, elongated, etc.-tion.

Butler: Gentlemen! Alexander is slightly delayed. He asked
his excuse and show you his house.

Entering the first floor. Around gold, marble, paintings expensive. Beauty
unbelievable.
Butler: here AS welcomes guests ..

They come in the next room. There, a huge swimming pool with crystal-clear water.
Butler: And here AS loves to swim ..

They go to Floor 2. There, a huge hall with a handsome amount nemeryannom
fitness of the latest model.
Butler: And here AS loves to play sports .. after the pool --
good ..

They go to 3 floor. There, a huge room, about 100 meters and taut trampoline, on
where you can jump.
Butler, proudly: but here, AS loves to jump after
swim in his pool and after go in for sports ...
Then he turns around, grins and adds: A x # yli him not to jump something?
Joke #39658 —  
 
0
 
Truzhenik whistle stops the car. Fit. Asks sternly:
- You've seen the sign?
- I saw it.
GAI spreads in good smile:
- My son painted ...
http://shift-insert.ru
Joke #39657 —  
 
0
 
To say "fool" is not politically correct. It should say: "Representative
most predictive of the U.S. population.
Joke #39656 —  
 
0
 
Rating president finally exceeded 100%.
Some of the respondents love him twice.
Joke #39655 —  
 
0
 
Gay vampires: drink only the blue blood.
Joke #39461 —  
 
0
 
Former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is brought into the campaign
rejection of garlic in the national Italian cuisine. Quite brazen
Vampires - no longer hide!
Joke #39460 —  
 
0
 
In House-2 did not speak about the bridle ...
Joke #39459 —  
 
0
 
Moldovan television has decided to release its version of the popular
realitishou "House". However, the project failed. The house was completed by the end of
first transmission, and the horse in the frame and did not say a word.
Joke #39458 —  
 
0
 
Cultural News:
Famous director Roman Viktyuk put the good old play
Nutcracker. In this position the play had not yet stood.
Joke #39457 —  
 
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