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Toyota - manages a dream. VAZ - not ssy, finishing:)
- Why do astronauts in orbit do not give a bottle of vodka?
- Because then there is no escape for the second!
What not to do with the buyer, when selling a car.
If a person is interested, look at him like an idiot.
Frightened to hide the appearance of policemen.
Fuss, if the purchaser noted that the plates of the front and rear
Blame the car if it is foreign car and praise, if it is domestic.
Wry face, looking at her.
Twisted her speedometer, makeup brush, and sell clothing,
completely filthy machine oil.
To say that the glass on the rear door does not fall, because it is from
If the buyer got behind the wheel, do not say: do not wilderness, but it is no longer
Confused, answering the question: what kind of car color? Year? What
If the buyer is trying to start the car, grabbed a fire extinguisher and stand
ready near the hood.
To say, referring to personal experience, much better to hide weapons and
drugs to be found.
Examining the contents of the luggage, explaining that the cable for this machine --
At the head of a fool as many thoughts in my head as a genius. Just in
head fool these thoughts present themselves as deputies in the Duma.
When the soul goes to the heel, the adrenaline released straight into the urinary
The more I live, the stronger the suspicion that the word "man" happened
from the Greek "money".
Dialogue guys and girls in the shop:
- Could and apologize.
- Think about the leg occurred.
- My name is Anton
- Very nice ...
In Miami appeared a good Cuban coffee ... or a little about the Olympics.
Cuba has announced that poshlet his rowing team at
Olympic Games. They began to train a couple of weeks ago, and since
since no one saw.
Two guys argue over which of them is steeper:
- My IQ - 115 points. And yours?
- And my - 20 centimeters!
British scientists believe that the main cause of supernova explosions
stars - the accident at the local supercollider. According to them, in the next
months will receive a convincing confirmation of the correctness of this
What is "Operation Interception? This is when the traffic police and DPS in full
go on the road to catch drivers' money before payday.
Tokyo, Kyoto, Toyako ... them that, in general anyway?
- Hello, Kolya! It is possible for you to fall now?
- I'm not alone!
- And with whom?
- With the bugs!
Azerbaijanian returns home from a trip and sees --
wife tumbles into bed with another man.
Angered Azerbaijani shocked:
- What you give, Fatima ... Can you still begin to smoke cigarettes?!
A new law in China: moving to the Western tradition - is with a knife and
fork! Most dissatisfied - very difficult to hold in one hand ...
After dinner, the guests have left and started a conversation between husband and wife:
- Honey, we have once again stolen plates!
- Yes, those that say "Restaurant Seventh Heaven" ...
The girl came home from school and showed his father a diary.
- Well, - said my father, - one five and four. So, what's
- Note, Dad. The teacher said that I yammer and
promises to take action.
- Father signs in the diary and make a postscript: "If your actions
will, inevitably tell. I Try them on his wife. "
Woo somehow to Vasilisa the Beautiful Highlander, Achilles and Kashchei
Immortal. She was something other than Ivan the Tsarevich should not have been anybody, but right
refuse afraid, all too painfully terrible. Well, she regaled them, watered,
then drove to the bathhouse, then again yes beer vodka was enclosed and became
fish for, where their death is hidden. My, said Achilles in his left heel.
Slid under the table, and there is Prince Ivan was right there, chirp his awl in
left heel. And me, Highlander boasts, does not take only if
head cut off. Slid under the table, and there is Prince Ivan with a sword grab
his neck and cut off his head. And where is your death, Kascheyushka, asked
- I-IR. I-IR. The Ig-la in the egg - was about drunk Kashchei. But Prince Ivan
right here ...
In general, Kashchei survived, of course ...
- Hey, bad weather, you have not heard our good weather!
The question of "What?" Where? "When?":
- Who knows more than B. Burda, A. Wasserman, and A. Druz together?
They lived happily ever after. And died in one day. When the
Dmitry Medvedev: Americans place missile defense in Europe, creating new types
arms, inciting Georgia and Ukraine ... We need an adequate, but
Putin: Well, gold reserves, we have placed them, the Stabilization Fund, too,
propose to invest in the American economy of Russia 2009 State Budget
- Volodya, I thought here: maybe I, too, some oligarch
- Dim, well, seat!
- Whom? I can choose which one? It can? Anyone, yes? Anyone?
- Anyone! But first he Chukotka grab!
- Che's gift to his wife's birthday, I can not guess!
- And that she loves you?
- He likes speed, dreams to fly ...
- Then a broom!
- And where is our best traffic cop Sidorov?
- Burned at work!
- How is it?
- Stop the snake-dragon, and ordered whiff.
July 8 traditional families and couples celebrated Peter and Fevronia.
Nontraditional - Peter and Paul.
The action of the distillery! Locate the lid bottles of vodka Number 02,
call on him, say pass phrase "garbage-fag" and win
fifteen days of extreme rest! All Inclusive!
Fifth day can not get out of drinking. Well, when will end this damned
- My dear where were you?
- At work, the chief detained.
- A-ah. And what is beer?
- So this and kept.
Sit two fleas dream: - There be rich, buy a dog!
If trash must make a passport, the passport and can be put in the trash.
Our loans for housing - our ipoteha!
Once on the stock exchange came at a cost of 1 cent. One investor
"nowhere to fall on it, can only grow," orders his
broker - buy them at $ 1000. A broker bought.
The next day, the same shares are already 2 cents. Investor thinks:
"Hold them until the host can still grow up ..."
And sure enough - the next day the action is to 3 cents.
Investor calls his broker:
- Urgent sell!
On the other side of the tube - a tired voice:
The people there are two different views about the police:
1. It is not a fight against crime, and with private competitors.
2. It integrates with them.
Our retail trade - is selling a pig in a poke. Wholesale - Sale
In the shop:
- Do you have plywood?
- You for the economy?
- No, pancake, flying over Paris!
He was such a good person, that his death was glad only
Do you think that in Russia men less than women? Mistaken. Visit
obschestenny transport and look at the seats.
One reason for the problems in the family - if a man is more concerned about the hardness
its members than the hardness words ...
- I'm not a proctologist, the soul will not climb ...
Translator: Mr. Hiddink! Our fans are wondering when
Russia national football team will be world champion?
Hiddink: what? what?
Translator: all you heard? Hiddink said just about.
El Registan Mikhalkov and composed a hymn. Then Mikhalkov threw him out
Stalin, Lenin and then threw out, soon it will kick people, and Russia. Will remain
only brothers Mikhalkov.
Want vivid impressions, excitement, a taste for life?
Take part in a gay parade on the day of Airborne!
Democracy - the art of leadership from the circus monkey cells.
The motto of our state: If corruption is not to win, then it should
organize and lead.
- Tell me how to get to the store?
- He is on the other side. The underground passage a little further.
- A ground move closer no?
- No. See how many cars?
- And the shop itself around? If I turn the road right here, where do I get?
- I do not know where. Perhaps in heaven, and, perhaps, in hell.
Most prevents us to take their place in the life of our life
Myopia - a bad excuse to not send.
The paradox of life.
Sexshop is a place where women buy rubber members, and men