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With a light movement of the hand turns into a nudist beach.
Joke #46002 —  
 
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Married, three Georgians have agreed to meet next week for
discuss reaction zhenushek for the wedding night. Met.
Soso:
- My said that I was probably the most ardent lover.
Gotcha:
- My said that I had probably the longest term.
- And you, Givi, that said his wife?
- At the second wedding night, she told me: "Givi, vinimi, Writers, I want!"
Joke #46001 —  
 
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There are moments when the soul needs a body! Immediately!
Joke #46000 —  
 
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- If you feel sick and pulls at the little salty one, then you with a hangover.
- It's that I'm on the third month of a hangover, perhaps?
Joke #45999 —  
 
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Terms of fashion in the Moscow.
If you often have to stop the police in Moscow, so it's time
update wardrobe.
Joke #45998 —  
 
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The masochist in hell feels heavenly delight.
Joke #45997 —  
 
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Old anecdote in a new way.
Microsoft claims that their software will solve the problem
traffic jams. Indeed, with software from Microsoft, even cars
not budge.
Joke #45996 —  
 
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Anecdote mid-eighties.

Owl sits on a tree. Sees a fox run past.
- Fox, where you running?
- Do not "where" and "where"! You did not hear about the restructuring, new
thinking and the struggle against unearned income?
- And what?
- So as I have an expensive fur coat and the whole family go and expensive fur coats,
proves how acquired ...

The fox ran away. And the owl sees at the bottom of a turtle riding a gallop.
- Turtle, and you're going?
- Save. Restructuring, in fact. Accelerating the fight against unearned income.
And I have my house, and all his children home ...

The owl sees the running hare.
- Hare, and you're rushing from whom?
- Restructuring. The struggle against unearned income!
- You have a lot to fear with a bare ass?
- So, after all, with us and start something ...
Joke #45995 —  
 
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In the fall of the city saunas comes the fact that summer is not received by the college.
Joke #45994 —  
 
0
 
Scientists have discovered a new sexual minority - spyanuseksual. The people
it is called simply - odinras.
Joke #45993 —  
 
0
 
Shootings of the new US-Russia series
"Cadets in Canta Barbara.
Young artists have already signed their first 35-year contract to shoot.
Joke #45992 —  
 
0
 
What are liquid nails? And you try without them put together a liquid
chair!
Joke #45991 —  
 
0
 
In Anti-Monopoly Service has no money, and happiness you want ... Therefore they
arrived in El Dorado.
Joke #45990 —  
 
0
 
Venus de Milo - the girl does not showy ...
Yes her and throw something actually nothing ...
Joke #45989 —  
 
0
 
Old age - is when they no longer can, and do not call. In short: neither
pussy, or in the Red Army.
Joke #45988 —  
 
0
 
Pope arrives in kindergarten to pick up his son. One teacher, he
complains:
- Your son is badly used obscene language!
- Fuck, Who taught him something?!
Joke #45987 —  
 
0
 
Koschey Immortal did not like to celebrate Easter. Especially when all
began to beat the eggs ...
Parsley.
Joke #45986 —  
 
0
 
Moskvich and piterets:
- Do I have zanachka for a rainy day!
- And me - a white night!
Joke #45984 —  
 
0
 
Issue of the Armenian radio:
- What would happen if a "Prince Igor" and "The Barber of Seville" to
one opera?
Answer:
- Igor here, Igor there ...
Joke #45983 —  
 
0
 
Who remembers the great days, will understand what it means to rewind the audio
cassette with a pencil, so the batteries do not put ...
Joke #45982 —  
 
0
 
A woman needs only one, and preferably more.
Joke #45981 —  
 
0
 
Once the Inspector Lestrade was a guest of Sherlock Holmes and Dr.
Watson. During the conversation, Watson said:
- Tell me, Inspector, what phrase did you have in life often
pronounce?
Lestrade said:
- This is a requirement: "The Queen, go!"
Then he asked Holmes:
- And what the most memorable phrase you uttered just one, but
unforgettable time?
And Lestrade said:
- One day at the beach Devonian respectable lady opened her swimsuit,
I demanded: "The Queen, quit!"
Joke #45980 —  
 
0
 
Man comes to a psychiatrist, says:
- You know, doctor, sleep, tormented straight! One and the same every night!
- Do not worry you so! Will tell what you dream about?
- The door was a dream, the doctor, one and the same! White, with a sign ... I went over I
to her, pushing, pressing against his shoulder, legs, hands Kolocha, and it does not
open!
- Really? And the inscription on the plate, you could read in a dream?
- Smog, doctor!
- And what does it say?
- "For them."
Joke #45979 —  
 
0
 
Gathered as a body's organs, to determine which of them should be
most important.

- The main I, - said the head - because I manage all
systems, and without me nothing would have never happened.

- The main I, - said the blood - because I circulate oxygen for
whole body, and without me you would have all perished.

- The most important I am - said the stomach - as I digest food and give
all of you energy.

- The most important we - said his feet, - as we deliver the body there
where it needs to go.

- The most important we - said his eyes - as we allow the body to see
where it goes.

- The main I, - said the ass - as I allow the body to show
faeces.

Other parts of the body laughed and threw mock ass.
Offended by this attitude, ass took and tightly closed.

A few days head ached terribly, belly swollen, his legs began
are weak, his eyes began to tear, and the blood was toxic. Eventually
They all recognized that ass is more important to them all.

Moral of the story? Despite the fact that all the work others do, the team
As a rule, asshole.
Joke #45978 —  
 
0
 
Gazprom proposed to solve the problem of tension around Relays
Olympic torch relay through the construction of a special pipeline.
Joke #45977 —  
 
0
 
Previously, general secretary of Communist Party became the head of the funeral commission
by the previous secretary general, now, the future president of Russia, first
must stay chairman of the board of Gazprom.
Joke #45976 —  
 
0
 
"One head is good, two is better" - said the executioner, receiving a salary.
www.xaxaxa.ru
Joke #45975 —  
 
0
 
In Armenian Radio asked:
- Is it possible to love a woman who swallowed a needle?
- You can, if the member wear a thimble.
Sent Vasil Lucas
Joke #45974 —  
 
0
 
... People here say that the Orthodox can have in a post turtle.
Because, according to the Orthodox worldview, a turtle - a nut.
Joke #45973 —  
 
0
 
For residents of Mound importantly - bought in Europe and in America 6 years ago
not wear out as long as it has come into vogue in Kurgan.
Joke #45972 —  
 
0
 
Ukrainian dog crosses the border into Belarus.
Border guards caught and ask: Where, why, why?
Dog: laesh, laesh - is not given, booth no.
Border guards missed.
A year later, again the border guards caught the same dog when it passes
border from Belarus to Ukraine.
Border guards: Where, why, why?
Dog: give booth and there, but do not bark.
Joke #45971 —  
 
0
 
At school:
- Children make up a sentence with the phrase "I almost.
Kohl:
- Our Olya had almost become a beauty queen!
Peter:
- On Saturday, my mother and I had nearly missed the train.
Little Johnny:
- This morning we Kolyanom nearly bent hung over, but
We just had ...
Joke #45970 —  
 
0
 
Earned the five-zero ... or six. Nifiga in general.
Joke #45969 —  
 
0
 
As a child I liked to call strangers and tell them something
improbable, fate has punished me and now it's my job. I
advertising agent ...
Joke #45967 —  
 
0
 
I'll give a cactus in dobye hands, accustomed to the pot.
Joke #45966 —  
 
0
 
- Uncle, what is from you because it stinks?
- This is a talent in me died ... Already decomposed.
Joke #45965 —  
 
0
 
Why are Americans so sure that the whole world spoke in English?
Because, wherever they come, always the first thing meets
inscription "Yankee go home!"
Joke #45964 —  
 
0
 
- Could you do me a small favor?
- What?
- U.S. 200.
Joke #45963 —  
 
0
 
"Deflorator +" - double penetration! Double effect! Together with
"Vaseline +" makes the use of absolutely painless!
Joke #45962 —  
 
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Porter should be female. If the watchman is not female - this is major-domo. Actions
major-domo, if the Lord of Nassau in the elevator, are unpredictable.
Joke #45961 —  
 
0
 
When the authorities want to safely interact with people, she puts on a member
Press.
Joke #45960 —  
 
0
 
The failure ended rent horror-musical "Sweeney Todd" in Ukraine.
Tim Burton deceived viewers - in the film, barely a single pig.
Joke #45959 —  
 
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At a concert by Bob Dylan fans piled Dima Bilan - just read
not know how ...
Joke #45958 —  
 
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All nations understand only one language - the language of Kalashnikov.
Joke #45957 —  
 
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The dollar fell and a painful blow risen ruble.
Joke #45956 —  
 
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If we are breaking anything, then pretended to prepare for the winter.
Joke #45955 —  
 
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At the session of the IOC Olympic torch recognized individual sport.
Joke #45954 —  
 
0
 
Voldemort gives interviews.
Journalist: - Lord Voldemort, you have many enemies?
Voldemort: - Yes, a lot - a whole two cemeteries.
Joke #45953 —  
 
0
 
All my life I was the head of the family. Thus told his wife before the wedding.
Joke #45952 —  
 
0
 
In the shop:
- Do you have clothes gum?
- No!
- A pants with elastic band?
- Yes!
- Then I nadergayte 3 meters!
Joke #45951 —  
 
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