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- Ah, to have such a machine would have to click on pimpochku - and no problem!
- Kalashnikov, or what?
Joke #48940 —  
 
0
 
Today on the anniversary of his mother-gave 50 roses. And that, on this occasion even
most number of times!
Joke #48939 —  
 
0
 
Police:
- Madam, when you were driving on the highway, I immediately identified: at least
seventy.
- Well, what you do. Just this hat I was very old.
Joke #48938 —  
 
0
 
- What do a condom and VMW X5?
- Inside each sitting dick!
Joke #48937 —  
 
0
 
- Doctor, I need an effective tool for weight loss!
- No problem. I'll prescribe coal.
- In powder or in pills?
- In bags. The cars will be unloaded!
Joke #48936 —  
 
0
 
The first who came up with Russian letters were Cyril and Methodius.
Prior to that, all written translit ...
Joke #48935 —  
 
0
 
The best gift to the President for Easter - painted in the colors of the flag of Russia
egg-headed eagle.
Joke #48934 —  
 
0
 
Putin, meeting with Obama:
- I have a belt in judo, the colors you.
Joke #48933 —  
 
0
 
Leonid Ilyich Brezhnev disliked the Romanian leader Ceausescu.
- Adult men - wondered Leonid Ilyich - and how to kiss
not yet learned.
Joke #48932 —  
 
0
 
A Russian and Siberian frosts not care! The main thing is that the degrees were in
you, not outside!
Joke #48931 —  
 
0
 
Democratic freedom - is when the chains are not too tight.
Joke #48930 —  
 
0
 
- Announcement in the library on the zone.
Tale, Tolstoy in kind were few, if not a bastard call name.
Joke #48929 —  
 
0
 
Outraged motorists:
- Yuri Mikhailovich, when will be finished with the Moscow traffic jams?
Mayor:
- Yes, the question naturally painful ... My next - 14 th in a row
book will be just on this topic ...
Joke #48928 —  
 
0
 
Here be quiet, please, and listen - enjoy the sound
these Italian words:
- Bugatti, Lamborghini. Mazeratti, Togliatti ... It is nice, really!? Although no
Togliatti, might sound more colorful ...
Joke #48927 —  
 
0
 
The President today went fine, but many
Joke #48926 —  
 
0
 
Putin bought "Niva" ...
At the surrender, after breakfast in the dining room AvtoVAZovskoy!
Joke #48925 —  
 
0
 
Medvedev summoned the Minister of Interior and said to him: something the states you
inflated, must be reduced. Let the technology work: the camera there, radars. In
Overall, not people. At that the Minister answered: "Yes we have no humanity, and so only
work. Nobody cut.
Joke #48924 —  
 
0
 
GAI stops the car, checked the documents: - Trunk open ... What is this?? - It? Troop ... - I see it myself corpse ... Kit where?
Joke #48729 —  
 
0
 
There is man in the woods, saw a tree. He came to the tree, put his hand into the hole, pulled out - no hands. He was stunned, put the other hand, pulls out - and this is no. Then he sticks his head in the hole and shouted: - You there that bl @ Th, just do Neh @ nd!
Joke #48728 —  
 
0
 
Do not slaughter nonsense head! Drakon
Joke #48727 —  
 
0
 
"Defendant Zuckerman, here you go to a compartment, took off shoes and why are you wearing removed? "" To the feet breathe, Your Honor. " Yes? But Rabinowitz choked! "
Joke #48726 —  
 
0
 
In the recent increase in cases of malicious damage to property. So Last year, unidentified men several times cracked the bottom of the price of real estate market. Investors who invested in real estate market, are strongly advised to stop breaking the bottom of the market, so how to buy a new bottom they have no more money.
Joke #48725 —  
 
0
 
Question: How the government to steal a large sum of money? Answer: Well, for First, this requires the government consist of ...
Joke #48724 —  
 
0
 
Revenue for the main job - 4622.4 thousand rubles, the military pension - 100,6 thousand rubles, "- said in an income statement of Putin.

First Lady Lyudmila Putin prime minister in 2008 had no income.

Seven rescued income labradorshi Kony. But their laws do not require disclosure.
Joke #48723 —  
 
0
 
In South Korea, very upset when they saw the leader of the DPRK in public Kim Jong Il. The South Koreans, until recently believed that he had flown on a rocket.
Joke #48722 —  
 
0
 
A visitor to the restaurant complained to the waiter: - I have something so awkward to sit still! - Well, since you Nedao ate the fish!
Joke #48721 —  
 
0
 
Putin bought Niva ... And for protection buy Oku ... tomatov.com
Joke #48720 —  
 
0
 
In the pursuit of profit, car manufacturers do not stop either than before. So, they are put behind the wheel of a dummy car to disperse high speed, after which the car crashes into a concrete wall. Community protection dummies strongly protests!
Joke #48719 —  
 
0
 
- Stirlitz - Mueller said, - I have a party assignment ... - I am a non-partisan, - interrupted Stirlitz. - It is strange: your profile says that you are a member of the National Socialist party. - Ah, you mean this - guess Stirlitz.
Joke #48718 —  
 
1
 
- Heard the news: our president earned less than the prime minister? - And to him that, more and paying the salary?
Joke #48717 —  
 
1
 
Otymel or not Aladin Jasmine, it becomes clear, after his name read versa.
Joke #48716 —  
 
1
 
"God is with you" and "God Knows" has been replaced. It remains to replace the "Glory to God" on "Glory dick!"
Joke #48715 —  
 
0
 
- Dmitry, you Ukrainian woman with a scythe! - A slash - who?
Joke #48714 —  
 
0
 
- And you fellow, Stirlitz - said Mueller. - Serve the Soviet Union! - Force of habit said Stirlitz and thought: "We had about Hitler and say something."
Joke #48713 —  
 
0
 
After the speech someone remarked to the composer: - The singer did everything he could. Why do not you tell him a few warm words? When the singer came up, the composer held out his hand: - I'm not angry at you!
Joke #48712 —  
 
0
 
Rapid career rise - the result of a good kick in the ass.
Joke #48711 —  
 
0
 
- Prove Fermat's theorem, only at the level of 16 century, but then neither derivatives or integrals, or modular numbers is not it? - Cool it! :)
Joke #48710 —  
 
0
 
Natasha Rostov asked the lieutenant Rzhevsky: - Lieutenant, can you imagine how it is to be pregnant? - Excellent imagine, Natasha! Once, during my saber attack horse carried, stumbled, trampled me under him and finished with fear in my ass. Full feeling pregnant!
Joke #48709 —  
 
0
 
Armenian Radio (RA) asked the question: what is the limit switches? AR: And now, it's nice when we asked this very question.
Joke #48708 —  
 
0
 
Natasha Rostov introduces Lieutenant Rzhevsky with guests: - Pierre Bezukhov. - I'm glad! - Princess Mary. - Happy! - Prince Bolkonsky. - Prince! - Count Tolstoy. - Go to the dick, Earl, you're not from this movie!
Joke #48707 —  
 
0
 
Lieutenant General Rzhevsky: - Lieutenant, why did you fuck my horse? - I wanted to, you know, to be closer to his superiors ...
Joke #48706 —  
 
0
 
Natasha Rostov interested in the pharmacy: - Do you have a pill against pregnancy from Lieutenant Rzhevsky? - It is from Rzhevsky? - Yes, the rest did not help! - We can only offer a pair of scissors!
Joke #48705 —  
 
0
 
it: - you're so sweet ... fragile ... he: - a mysterious ... it is: - simply Turgenev girl ... she: - Ha.
Joke #48704 —  
 
0
 
- Sema - said Mendel son - call Uncle Ize and to check his phone.
Joke #48703 —  
 
0
 
Call to the Armenian Radio: - How many fools in Yerevan? - You arrive - the first going.
Joke #48702 —  
 
0
 
Home phone number need at least in order to be able to find Mobile ...
Joke #48701 —  
 
0
 
- And you Barsika fed? - Feed ... - What? - Whiskas than more ... - And Rex fed? - Yes ... Barsikom ... - I'm afraid to ask ... Sam-what did you eat??
Joke #48700 —  
 
0
 
- What is unison? - This is a dream on the toilet.
Joke #48699 —  
 
0
 
Not a loving wife, or beloved children, or interesting work never replace a good rest of them!
Joke #48698 —  
 
0
 
He: - Pohozhe I zoofil. She: - Oh, this is because those animals fuck! - Nay, Zayka!
Joke #48697 —  
 
0
 
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