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Teamwork is very important. It allows you to put the blame on another.
Evening. 23.30. The conversation between mother and son:
- Well, my son, as the date passed?
- When a fine, back in the morning ...
- There will always be fools.
- It is fashionable to say not "fools" and "enthusiastic".
- Yeah, we now have two problems - enthusiasts and relief.
God forbid we live to see the day when all will be as bad as reported
write this paper.
It is better to be smart and sometimes blunt, than to be blunt and always try to be clever!
Right now I will gather all the will in a fist ... and then stuck his fist out of the middle
finger and show his tuition ...
These women do not marry these men, because
real woman the first time does not agree, but a real man
twice does not offer.
- A girl, a girl, buy me ice cream!
- Alphonse, is it?
- No, ice-cream.
Cocktail with mint leaves - a mojito.
A cocktail with the leaves of hemp - hihito.
The woman is a cow on the sidewalk. Suitable police:
- You know that the sidewalk is for pedestrians?
- Of course. And you mean to say that a cow riding a bicycle?
- Lena I did a tattoo for you, read it!
- "Do not forget to Zina compressor. And this is just for me?
- Do not believe me? Ah, Lena, not from the beginning to live!
New Russian - a beggar:
- I never give money to those who beg on the street.
- But we can go to the restaurant!
They say, opened a shop in Odessa Funeral accessories:
"Shor you croaked!"
Announcement: Experienced venereologist quickly determine what you think.
We consider a bill criminalizing the denial
- What is most advantageous to plant in Russia's national economy?
- Vodka with water.
What is - good for all?
This is guaranteed trouble for everyone!
Mole - is the amount of substance containing a number of molecules
which coincides with the number of atoms in 0.012 kilograms of the isotope carbon-12, but
Despite this it can gobble up your wool coat!
Toad comes to the doctor Aybolitu with toe on his head, he had her
- What happened to you, my dear Jaboulay's?
- Shut your mouth, freak, this is a robbery.
Free markets work - this is when you can send your resume, where
want. And where you want, can send you.
When the traffic cops learn to reproduce without women, it will
enjoy not only the two continuous lanes on the road, but the two strips
to test pregnancy.
- Why does the news say "President Medvedev", and other lists
such as "President of France", "U.S. President"?
- Because we have two, need to clarify what it is.
- Hello! Tell me, and with Andrei Nikolayevich can talk? What Andrew
N. busy? And with his secretary, you can talk to? But, Andrew
N. busy ...
When her husband came home late, his wife, to fall asleep faster,
recalculates his ribs.
In Tbilisi, Chisinau, and in Bangkok there was aggravation of vernal workers.
Once upon a time was in the light of a righteous man. Hard work, prayers and help
poor, he served his time, so that the karma of his cleansing, and the path to
Nirvana began drawn eyes.
As suddenly befall him - a righteous man fell ill, his farm was
went into decline and there was nobody to give him a glass of water. And asked if
righteous man of God with the words:
- God, I have lived righteously, and cleared their karma from the sins of past lives. For
what do you then bestowed on me the punishment?
And God said to him:
- And this, my friend, I opened a credit limit for you!
Chief asked a staff member who was not at work the day before:
- What is the reason for your absence yesterday?
- Excuse me, but my wife yesterday had a difficult birth ...
- Difficult birth, you say? Like last week, and before last?
So, you have a wife gives birth to 4-5 times a month? What are you, my
take for an idiot?
- Not at all, she just deals with obstetrics at home.
If the proceeds kettle, he puts out gas, and if the proceeds kettle,
it extinguishes the light ...
- Darling! You say that you have a birthday tomorrow? And how many
old are you?
- ... This 2019-m it will be 34 in 2035-m - 50, and in 2045-m - 60! What
old! Not for her not getting married!
When boyars razboyarivali Russia, under the monarchy - Mona, under the Communists --
kommunizdili ... But Russia is strong, and its democracy is not zademokrahat.
Comprehensive cleaning of apartments from all. Firm "Pure specifically. Only
leave the keys.
New game for drunks: Need for Spirt.
Forthcoming Sales improved version for veterans: Need for Spirt Royal.
Sukhumi - the end of September.
Good "posidevshaya" the company went to bathe.
One of the men enters the water first.
The girls, standing on the shore:
- As the water? Cold?
A guy just went to their knees:
- I do not know, now dry-thermometer, time will tell.
Sportcar them: we carry the machine in a special service, tyuninguem "brains",
replace the exhaust system on sports, racing tires and put
wheels, set the aerodynamic body kit. Sportcar in Russian:
cut off muffler.
New Narco 3 Turbo razor equipped with a floating head, flying
wings and legs galloping.
Psychiatry News: Now in a psychiatric hospital nearly extinct Napoleon.
Current assholes just do not know who he was.
Constantly plagued by two pigs.
Why do I always think that the window count to three of my stories (-2)
clearly outweighed by the sum of three (+2)?
And who the # # Lana, who hesitated between (-2) and (-1), still tight
- My dear stranger! You are so beautiful. I can not even imagine how he lived all
these years, I have not met you. I chose you out of hundreds and thousands of other
girls. You are so alone, unique. Your hair is like
silk, velvet skin, like a peach, but color of your eyes, I admired
I can only compare with the color of the warm southern sea at sunset. If I
I could hear your name ...
- Come on, man, you Th, relax. If you want me to% * Bach - and
) Sent AVG (
From the instructions to the Chinese fire extinguisher: "Do not spray near open
Red-haired, red-haired, freckled boy - killed his grandfather voucher ...
The doorbell. Opens grandmother.
- Zoya home?
- Neto, and why is it you?
- Throw a stick!
- Throw in the corner.
In the election of the Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church defeated candidate
United Russia, Metropolitan Kirill.
Did you know that the popular TV show "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?"
to the denomination of the ruble was called "Who Wants to Be a Billionaire?".
Of the explanatory: Despite the fact that the woman Dunya of 294 apartments in th
youth fond of climbing, the 7 th floor, it comes down not
rope ladder, as well as all residents of the home - in the elevator. This,
their behavior, it does not give us, the younger generation, no example, nor
Idol: sports and recreation. And that is why we
have to drink beer and raise a belly ...
Interestingly, while the habit of our people call each other by the mother, rather than
father, feminists take credit attributed?
- Tell me, if one plus one is two, two plus two is
four, how many will be four plus four?
- It's not fair. You always answer the easy questions,
but I got the worst!
Was the cannibals Russian, German and a Frenchman. I. .. ate all three without
calls, because neither in Russian, or French, or German
offspring did not speak.
Chelyabinsk men are so severe that the dye Easter eggs in one
red, scalded him with boiling water, and the second in blue, nip door.
In the zoo:
- Girl! Do not be so persistent to feed a hippopotamus ice cream, he
head with the other side.
- Just head spin, - said the people after Kolobki.