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The old economics professor from year to year, asked students the same
questions on exams. His younger colleague asked:
- Professor, do you not understand that all of your questions have long
transmitted from generation to generation and are known to students long before
- Do not forget, a colleague, that we are engaged in the economy. Replies something every
There were a lot of husbands Pugacheva and more lovers, but really
its poimel only lawyer Dobrovinsky.
Poets and artists, mathematicians and physicists, philosophers and art historians --
Israeli national soccer team rich in talent!
I always shy away from such a thing as sex without
obligations. But there are continuing obligations without sex ...
Well - this is when the exam was put on the "three".
Excellent - that's if the first time.
Yesterday, Dutch police for malicious violation of the rules of the road driver
motion deprived him of herbs.
- Where to vacation?
- In Tenerife.
- And this is where?
- I do not know, I'm on a plane to fly.
- Dad, what's incompetence and indifference?
- I do not understand this, my son! Yes, and it to me somehow FSUs ...!
- Here the youth gone! Daughter in 16 years hanging around all night discotheques,
God knows doing what, and mother of 30-anniversary congratulations to forget!
- "My dear, look like I care about the kiss!
- Aha! I puke at the Beach!
- I'm scared to send a summary of the company, where in the schedule of writing with
9.00 to 17.00, and herself vacancy for the position laid out on the site in
Sunday at 3 am ...
We met two friends:
- Well, how's life?
- Why the pessimism?
- From women's issues.
- What is it?
- Previously, I was asked: "Why do not you get married?" And now: "Why not
Mother - adult daughter:
- Masha, the young man that you called today - who is he, your
- Well, you say, too, "familiar" ... But what they knew? We
slept a couple of times!
- If you caught a goldfish, what would you ask her? - I would have asked her for money. - I would ask her health. - I would have made her ear. - Why? - When I caught her last time, I asked her for love and friendship. But the creature was made so that now is bothering me the blue with his love, and all the women say: "Let's be friends".
Knock three blondes in Pearl gates. St. Peter answers them that, say, before you get to heaven - to answer some simple question from Katehezisa - here, for example, what is Easter? The first blonde: - What is that, in the autumn, perhaps, when the turkey is fried and then hog it all day, yes? - Bad, bad - Go past - meets St. Peter. The second blonde, thinking, offers: - I know, I know! This winter, when the tree pose and give gifts to each other! - Go away - meet St. Peter, and, turning to the third, suggested that - let's now you. - Easter Sunday - the third blonde said, - this is when Jesus and his disciples celebrated the Jewish Passover, Jesus turned the wine into blood, and Judas betrayed him, and when they were sleeping in the garden, the Romans came and arrested him, then he was beaten and crucified on the cross, and then it was removed from the cross and laid in a cave, and the entrance to the cave filled up with stone, and then he has risen! - Well, shit - all that he could utter amazement Peter ... A blonde continued: -... and now once a year, this stone is put aside, and if he will come out and see its shadow - that winter lasts six weeks ... .
- You now see some porn, there any locksmith make such heifers that unconsciously want to escape to housing office to write a statement of employment. - Not vedis, dude, it sotsialka!
English lesson in school. The teacher gives the assignment: write a short essay on the theme "My native Moscow. All concentrated write puff, try. Little Johnny suddenly pulls his hand.
- What's wrong, Little Johnny? - Asked Chenopodium Ivan.
- Chenopodium Ivan, and as will be in English "come in large numbers?
I understand, is normal civilized life, everywhere robbed, raped, beaten, etc. I just can not understand - why always me??
The war, the ghetto is a little girl on his chest stitched six-pointed star. It stops sleek esesovets
- No, b%%% b, a Texas Ranger!
- Yes you shook me! Back late at night, live dirty footmarks in the corridor, rattles dishes, budish me!
- I will!
Husband late at night floods home drunk and falls. On the morning of his wife and angrily said:
- What you saw yesterday? I could not tear you from the floor!
Husband in horror:
- Is the glue?
The debate on the forum - it's like that the Olympics are among the mentally retarded. Even if you win - you're all the same dunce.
Sits company misses ...
- Che-somehow boring, huh?
- Yes ...
- Can play in anything?
- Well you can ...
- Let a mum?
- Come on already ...
All were silent, sit for two hours ...
- M%%%% M! Cheered up! ...
Two girls are discussing a guy with whom one of them had recently met.
And they have such a dialogue:
- And now I'm all in pain!
- What? Writing does not give?
- Call no call. Writing something like ladies.
Dave, my life becomes a silk pleasure.
And not giving, I go netrahanaya, irritable and angry.
Robbery at 2,5 million at the Moscow City Hall ...
- Can cap stolen?!
News of the day: The winner of the contest "How to remove Ukraine from the crisis?"
His proposal is to immerse all the deputies on a barge and sunk
was impossible: they do not drown!
Happy-end stories Denis Baisarov: Orbakajte and signed a world Baisarov
agreement under which receive alimony and Denis will bring
Always, something promising, our leaders give my hat, but
never specify whose.
This American is proud of its U.S. homeland, defeat Hitler in
Vietnam War in Chechnya!
The law of nature: if a girl lost consciousness, a number of necessary
find one who loses conscience.
Most of us dream to have a lot of money and not work. Thanks
crisis, many people have come to pass 50 percent of dreams, but alas, it is not
the first fifty. (c) Sj
Genius - an ordinary man who managed to convince his genius
the other fools.
Everywhere need skill, savvy and installation ...
Rapid method of weaning from the style of bastards by studying the Belarusian
- A smoke ... not there?
- I - Boxer ... and three days ago, explained that he did not smoke.
- Sorry, eyes swollen, not learned. Rich will ...
I understand that enough to sit on the internet at the moment when the doors
the toilet by double-clicking on the handle.
Do not do anything right the first time, otherwise no one will appreciate, as it was
Now the eternal. Always I have no money ...
- "Mexx", "Camelot" - be fashionable!
- "The collective farm market" - and do not wear it to show off.
- Sofochka, it is true that your brother is still sitting in jail for stealing?
- No. His early released for good behavior!
- I imagine you all proud of them.
Vodka "White Eagle" - feel yourself Prometheus.
"Buzz" - moved by Karlsson, putting his ear to her stomach Freken Bock.
- Wow, what a tall blonde you look. The legs of the ears. Thee
probably need to be on a stool to kiss her.
- You would not believe enough to take the purse.
- Why we are different from blacks?
- We think that the zebra - white to black stripes, and they - that the black in
- The term "come in large numbers" was first introduced into international practice
North American Indians.
National security adviser is coming to the U.S. president.
- Sir, there are two news, good and bad. With what to begin?
- With bad.
- Sir, the U.S. captured by aliens.
- And what's the good news?
- They eat Negroes and shitting oil.
The crisis - it is still in tight jeans shove a fat girl:
like everything is fine, but a complete ass ...
- There are suggestions for how to celebrate Halloween terrible!
- Well ... You can remove the terrible bab ...
And I - Cherry .. - I - apple ... - And I - tomato ... - I - dunce ... Director: - boy! ! Again, you - eggplant! ! Children: - and I - Cherry .. - I - apple ... - I - eggplant! Director: - boy! ! You - dunce! ! First comes - tomato! Children: - I plum purple, ripe, garden! - And I apricot, in the south grew up! - And I'm a tomato! Together, we orchard! runs into a girl: - no fruit or dick, drink the juice "my family" Director: - a girl, how much you can repeat? "And I feyhuya, drink the juice" my family "The girl runs again: - and I am no fairy dick, drink the juice, my family," Director: - a girl, not without a dick, but simply - feyhuya! Rushes again: - and I just without the dick, drink the juice "my family"