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Romanian authorities hope that Ukraine will share power
Inventory shelf Snake Island. Perhaps anecdote
The most safe and reliable in the world are nuclear bombs and missiles:
they burned, fell into the road and railway accidents, were cut off from
aircraft and fell to the ground, at sea, on the heads of enemies, but none
of them did not explode.
- Well, well! You presented the facts, but as it really?
- Honey, we have the second?
- "My dear, you're hudeesh, so the second we have sex!
- Doctors do not recommend losing weight too fast! I refuse to be second!
Sometimes it is better to remain silent before the strike.
Folk wisdom: The early bird catches the not yet reduced ...
If Arshavin was unable to get in extra time, then
Arsenal would merely have to rely on penalty.
Arsenal until the last moment refused to pay for technology
News, culture and sports.
TV presenter Ksenia Sobchak leaves the transmission of "Dom-2" to participate
the new super-TV - a reality show: "Sell Arshavin-2".
The main role in the project himself invited to the St. Petersburg soccer.
Directed by Quentin Tarantino, creator of blockbuster multiserial
"Kill Bill" has begun work on a new superserialom.
Working title - "Sell Andrew.
Assistant reads Muller dossier:
- Otto von Stirlitz, character - Nordic ...
- Wait, wait! .. "Nordic" ... "north", means ... It is that
turns Stirlitz - raisers?
Issue of the Armenian Radio.
- Barack Obama has decided to leave himself in the use of email inbox
although it is usually forbidden for U.S. presidents. You, by chance, not
know what address e-mail with Obama?
- Just do not know. But we can say, as he begins.
- And how?
- "Obama-dog ..."
Your boss yells at you, stomping feet and insults? Do not worry - it
acquired tariff Monster communication. "
At the forum in Davos, it was decided the term "financial crisis"
replace stovosochetaniem "financial menopause," which is more consistent with
decrepit state of affairs in Europe.
Davos. Press conference of Vladimir Putin. The correspondent asked:
- Dear PM Russia, as you could when he was President of Russia and having
salary of 3 thousand dollars to put together capital to 40 billion dollars?
- Well, I plowed the same as a slave in the galleys!
Kopp.: - So you rowing, canoeing and rowing!
At the Davos forum, participants were asked:
- If the world using financial instruments invented by not
men and women, it could avoid the global economy
The women responded:
- Yes, of course. We would come up with sparing economy financial instruments,
and there would be no world crisis!
- Yes, of course. They have nothing came up, and there would be no
Ukraine has not determined whom to support in the Middle East conflict:
fat does not eat one or the other party.
Rule of this ensign: you can not devour - spizdi, you can not
spizdit - razebi, you can not razebat - obosri.
Temperature bucks in Russia is normal - 36,6
All-in-date information, when all offshore.
Nothing signals the problems in society, as rallies in
support the government.
- Default - is when there is no money?
- Default is where the money was. When they are not - this is a normal life.
Fashion for women 120-80-120 started because of the widescreen TVs:
standard image they have always stretched.
- Doctor! I can not go to the toilet!
- Well, go to the theater, at the exhibition!
Armenian Radio asked:
- How to distinguish heterosexual from a latent homosexual?
- Ask the person to do the blue sex. If he replied that
is not to his taste, before you - a heterosexual. And if you start
angry and say that it is unnatural, immoral,
/ / dooma.ru
- Darling, I now sleep at night just terrible!
- I know, dear. You're tossing and turning all the time and even talking in his sleep.
- Yes? And what I said?
- I do not remember ...
- My mom was right! You never listen what I say!
- Hello, doctor, help me. My wife has a headache and fever.
- Yes, meter and eighty-five!
In the bedroom the phone rings. He picks up the receiver, listens, and then covers
receiver with his hand and whispers:
- Someone asked Jeanette. It is not by chance are you?
Many already pozhivshie people try to transfer the accumulated years of experience
younger generation. So Boris Moiseyev got a mekhmat MSU read
Course on analytical geometry ...
It is pleasant to feel big and strong, when you take a cat in his arms!
Every time he heard the word "horse" Sobchak laughs.
Financial crisis - it is cosmetics, which makes it more attractive
The new slogan for the "United Russia": Now, God be with us!
Incidentally, one can double the GDP in the home. This
to put in front of a portrait of GDP and drink until until
divide in two starts in his eyes.
I think I finally caught up, which means a doubling of GDP: this doubling
the number of rubles to the dollar.
Decree of the Cabinet, "Operation Cast Lead"
renamed as coitus interruptus, as:
- Immediately before the finish, came
It should be noted that we ended unilaterally.
Night. A knock at the door, demanding such.
- Who's there?
- Open up, police!
The door opens.
- Rabinovich, lives here?
- This is your apartment?
- Your name?
- So what are you, bastard, brains powder that Rabinowitz does not live here?
- Excuse me, but when you're someone can detach from the middle of the night
wife to call you scum - did you want me to say that
- Doctor, Doctor, as it is called?
- What do you call?
- Well, as it's called, I'm his wife for the night 16 times!
- PI ... a hedgehog is called!
Russia Groundhog Day: If the thickest tycoon saw his penis --
things are bad, the crisis will last at least another year.
- Hello. Who do you want? - Yes so, has decided the number wrong.
The only man who can not work without women - it gynecologist.
Professor gave a lecture on mathematics. Writes on the board very long, absolutely boundless formula and saying: "This is obviously should ... "prescribers even more cumbersome formula. Suddenly, at the moment thinks, then apologized and out of the audience. Approximately Half an hour back, and carelessly threw the chair of a pile of scribbled paper, said: "Yes, it's really obvious, and continues to lecture.
A man stopped a taxi, sits, looks, and beside the driver is ordinary pillow. A peasant was interesting for what, well, and asks: - You probably vozite pillow to relax after the change? - No. This airbag. - What helps during the accident? - The accident was not listed, do not know, but from hooligans and thugs protects. - Oh, you hide behind it? - No. I've got a weight sewn up.
- What are the similarities between the realtor, retailer and Rottweiler? - Finger in your mouth not put: ell. - What's the difference? - Rottweiler - vyplyunet.
Small crocodile asks: - Dad, and I have ever had a lot of money? - Will, son. - Dad, and when? - When will become a purse.
~ ~ ~
Late at night. The President has the phone rings. He wearily lifted and picks up the receiver: - Hello? - Hey, Bear! Al I, Vova. We quickly tell me: predatory fish from family webbed, eight letters horizontally, the second "e". - Vladimir Vladimirovich, the night in the yard. All normal people are asleep long. - Well, no shit yourself! In a country such a crisis, but he SPIIIT!
Wife - more than just a woman, but to men a lot and do not.
She blushes in two cases: when either deliberately lying, or when accidentally telling the truth.
All the same, "Bob Dylan" sounds like something more impressive than "Oak Bilan ...
- Yes, he keeps us in sheep! Drive him out of our herd! Beeeeeeeee!