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In full swing vote on the NBC site and www.slc2002.org, concerning
egregious conduct presumptuous Europeans.
Odnovrenno on the same site is open to vote a certain Albert G. He, too
participated in the competitions held in November 2000, and also
was
second place because of the strange system of counting. If
Albert wins will insist on declaring himself the winner along with
won the first place, George B., with all the
consequences.
Joke #7976 —  
 
0
 
FBI celebrated Valentine's day. Broke ten plush
bears.
Joke #7975 —  
 
0
 
Zhvanetsky ask:
- Michal Mihalich, after stories from hijacking your "Mercedes" you
not have the desire to leave their country of this abnormal?
Zhvanetskiy:
- On what?
Joke #7973 —  
 
0
 
If you want to make a pleasant colleagues, drop by to their room,
when they share the cake, and immediately run away, abandoning the food.
Joke #7972 —  
 
0
 
Gathered once vampires, vampire and a vampire in the cemetery.
In order to compete - who can suck the blood of more agile.
Well, bet a couple of hours, and ran - mosquitoes zae * Ali ...
Joke #7971 —  
 
0
 
The guy asks the girl who recently met:
- Do you know the difference between a penis of sausages?
- No.
- In this case, to invite you to dinner.
Joke #7970 —  
 
0
 
A young woman rushes into the church, ran to the altar, on the move caressing their
chest, and shouted to the priest:
- Holy Father, I want you to possess me straight to the altar!
- But ... my daughter, you are in the temple of God!
But the woman takes off his bra, not ceasing to caress their
chest and that below, and says:
- Holy Father, I want you raped me, like a wild beast!
- My daughter, I'm not supposed to rank, I'm a priest and once again remind
you that you are in church. In the end I just do not physically
in
state!
Woman takes off his clothes balances, floods on the altar and begins
twist on it, still fondling himself in all places.
The priest turns to the crucifixion and says:
- Lord Jesus, tell me, what should I do?
Jesus:
- Yes you did finally take off with the cross, you idiot!
Joke #7969 —  
 
0
 
The blind beggar to beg on the street. Suddenly, he feels that someone
unbuttoned his fly, then sticks his hand in there and starts
caress his genitals. Beggar:
- Wow, kicks! Oh-oh-oh!
Then the hand disappears. Blind, fumbling with his hands in the air, trying to find that,
who did it, but in vain. But his face still shines on and
pleasure. A few steps away from him there are two Jews, who saw this
scene, and one of them says to another:
- You see, Izzy, how can deliver a man pleasure, not spending
with a penny.
Joke #7968 —  
 
0
 
6-year-old Little Johnny in tears resorts to mom and she complains to her younger
sister:
- She grabbed me by the hair!
- Little Johnny, you should not be so upset: it is still small and not
understands that it hurts when pulled by the hair.
Little Johnny goes. After some time out of the room again heard children
crying. Mom ran into the room and asked the children:
- What is it?
Little Johnny:
- Now she understands everything!
Joke #7967 —  
 
0
 
The doctor approaches the patient's bedside umbrella and examines it. After
This Moldavian he asks:
- Doctor, I want to hear from you the truth, I promise to be courageous,
whatever is true, tell me straight: I soon will be
again go to work?
Joke #7966 —  
 
0
 
The personnel department:
- Who do you work?
- Inspector ...
- So, I write: "state inspector."
- Guard ...
- "The security guard ..."
- Then - again by the inspector.
- So. I wrote: "The Inspector GAI - a repeat offender."
Joke #7965 —  
 
0
 
One day from life Bachelors

Light the burner and put on the stove skvorodku. Take 2 eggs, one
accidentally drop a dirty sink, sit by the window, smoke,
think. Recall youth.
Recall that I forgot to buy bread.
Recall soaked in the tub a month ago underwear.
Recall. Seize the pan, burn, swear, unscrew valve
with cold water, remember that the water turned off.
Raise the pan from the floor, his hand wrapped sleeve sweater, put
the laid it on the oilcloth table.
Drink a raw egg. Note that it was the last. Take the package
macaroni, pour into a saucepan, put on the stove.
Peel the pan from the cloth, get angry, throw in the pan
dustbin, sorry, get back. Pour half of butter, to go
find a rag, to find a newspaper with want ads, acquaintances, closely
read, see, that it last year.
Go to the room to find a phone friend, want to invite her to a restaurant,
estimate how much it will cost, decide that it is not necessary.
Back in the kitchen, pour some water in a pot with noodles, pull
surfaced butt.
Scratched his cheek, want to shave. Want to get drunk, want to marry.
To repent.
Go to the store for bread. Buy cigarettes. On the way back to meet
nice girl with a dog. Like a dog, not like
girl.
Enjoy a movie, in the middle of the film recall the cooking pasta at home,
come running home, look in the pot, very surprised.
On PC, load the CD with recipes, start
search for "Carrot + salt + mayonnaise + jam", say "he
moron.
Peel the carrots, sprinkle it with salt, eat. Solve seal the window on
winter. Solve them before you wash it. But even before that - peel
obkleyku last year. Decide not to engage in this nonsense.
Feel that the weekend - it's terrible.
Recall that today is the day their daughter's birth. Rushed to the phone.
Recall that the birthday was a month ago. Call. Learn what
daughter grew up, married and lives in America.
Turn on the TV. Trying to understand what show: Action, news or
advertising inserts. Trying until the screen appears: "No
Remember to turn off the TV. "
To feel the hunger. Philosophically, the ability to rejoice even though something
feel.
To approach bookshelf. Stumble on his thesis.
Intrigued, browse. Understand that all forgotten.
Turn off the light. To bed.
Recall that I forgot to undress.
Recall that not undress all week.
Recall first love. Failing to remember her face.
Recall who you wanted to become.
Recall how you banging a week.
Recall that men do not cry.

(c) Igor Gindin
Joke #7964 —  
 
0
 
Good night!
Ensign passed the mess in the barracks, and heard voices and laughter.
He stuck his head in the door and yelled:
- I think I told you "good night" and when I say this,
means "Shut up YOUR EB %#@*& KI AND NOT PI & $ @ TE !!!", clear?
Voice from the cabin:
- Of course, Comrade Lieutenant, good night ...
Joke #7963 —  
 
0
 
The Armenian passing exams in anatomy in medical school.
Pulls "Structure of penis. Prepared at the table.
Professor of him:
- Student Hakobyan! Stop to peek into a cheat sheet!
Joke #7962 —  
 
0
 
Man came out in the morning from home and disappeared for two weeks. All Pets
worry, the wife of grief is not the place itself. Suddenly the doorbell.
His wife opens. On the threshold stands husband. Woman happiness rushes to him
with the words:
- Petechka, dear ....!
Husband:
- No, no, no, no, no, I'm only the guitar!
Joke #7961 —  
 
0
 
According to research of sociologists, most men do not marry her
first women, but most women married to his first
men. From this we can conclude that the majority of married women
deceive their husbands with the men.
Joke #7960 —  
 
0
 
Dear Sirs

I have an interesting proposal, which will prevent us from being stolen
aircraft, at the same time will help restore our aviation business.
As Muslims, men are not allowed to look at naked
women, we should replace all flight attendants in our airline
strippers.
Muslims are afraid to fly because of fear to see the naked woman and,
Of course, all the businessmen in our country will begin to fly in large quantities
hope to see a naked woman.
Thus, we will no longer hijackings, and sales in
of air travel will grow to record sizes.
Why does our Congress still had not thought of?

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton.
Joke #7712 —  
 
0
 
... and began to speak Estonian gold fish my first wish, but
managed - dried fish ...
Joke #7711 —  
 
0
 
At the entrance to a strip bar stops doorman two young girls:
- Ai em Sorry! Children access denied!
- You fool! We did not come to watch and work!
Joke #7710 —  
 
0
 
- In Mongolia, there is the custom, when the family pozhdaetsya son - father
puts depevo. If the son vypastaet dypakom, it depevo spybayut ...
- Was I in the Mongolian ... Steppe to the horizon .....
Joke #7708 —  
 
0
 
Govopyat on kontseptah Thani Bylanovoy pybliky specially pazogpevayut.
For kylisami pezhyt a bow, in the hall pyskayut tear gas, but on stage
pponosyat chychelo White Bim; black-soup ...
Joke #7707 —  
 
0
 
Repoptep, the earlier not been in wealthy homes, ppishel in the house to millionepu
bpat he intepvyu. In his dvepyah vstpechaet dvopetsky.
- Your cloak, sep.
- Yes, my check and I can show.
Joke #7706 —  
 
0
 
Work sppashivayut, hoposhie whether they have a factory conditions tpuda.
- Difficult to mix, but removal.
Joke #7705 —  
 
0
 
If your child is constantly on all sulky, buy him a trombone.
The child has talent.
Joke #7704 —  
 
0
 
In our automobile ever sold air, oil and gasoline
filters. In addition, the owners' Zaporozhtsev "can always buy
filters for the bazaar.
Joke #7703 —  
 
0
 
He called the priest king of his son, gave him a bow, gave an arrow and told to go,
according to ancient tradition, to choose a bride.
Prince came out in the open field, pulled the string, shot an arrow.
Fell on the boom boyar courtyard. Successfully dropped.
Wedding Tsarevich and mother in law's memorial service celebrating the same time.
(C) Robinson of Odessa
Joke #7702 —  
 
0
 
Two inetchika:
- I've been with a girl met ... Disappear. 90-60-90.
- Cool. And where did it six-valued ICQ?
Joke #7701 —  
 
0
 
- Daughter, this is your fan swears, if you do not go for it,
he committed suicide ...
- Oh, Mom, before it all said the same thing!
- Ho, though one can still be saved?
Joke #7700 —  
 
0
 
15 CPS at Handshake EMSI, Yoo-Hoo-Hoo, and a bottle of beer

CONNECT is no longer live

User for Dedkov, Dedkov a tosser, tosser for the mailer - and sent messagu

What have you got there? Windows? then something is blowing ...

ENTER key is pressed, what is now sobbing?

Crazy = Go

001, 010, 011, 100, 101 - bunny came out for a walk

Apocalip.sys and replenishment to him armag_add-on

60's - sex, drugs and rock `n` roll. 90-e - suxx, bugs and plug `n` play
Joke #7699 —  
 
0
 
Summary view of television news:
- We could easily beat them, but they are bastards, do not want to.
Joke #7698 —  
 
0
 
Holiday cocktail: 500 gr. Roma, 50 gr. Viagra.
Title cocktail - "Who whom?"
rm76, bartender
Joke #7697 —  
 
0
 
Cocktail "Farewell, March 9.
Consumed in the evening of the eighth.
The recipe is very simple: 1 liter of vodka, 1 liter of beer.
rm76
Joke #7696 —  
 
0
 
Talking on the gay party:
- Oh, you know, we lost Zhorzhik ....
- Oh, can it be AIDS?
- No, only a hemorrhoid ...
1304, sisop
Joke #7695 —  
 
0
 
Doctor - is the one who does not give man to die a natural death ...
HumanBug
Joke #7694 —  
 
0
 
- Listen, but as in English will be ...
- "How to" in English is "Shit"
Joke #7693 —  
 
0
 
If you have a blood hemoglobin, and urine in the urine, then you do in sports
nothing.
Joke #7692 —  
 
0
 
Two students talking:
- We have just written a control on the anatomy. Sasha got a deuce.
- For what?
- For crib. Teacher to catch him when he felt in his ribs.
Artem Naumets
Joke #7691 —  
 
0
 
Father-in-law worked at a mine, but on different shifts. Seen only
when one raises, and others fall in slaughter. Once
is
View others ... Having caught up in their lifts, and seeing each other, son
twirled his finger around his temple. Tests, in response, turns the two fingers in
their temples. In-law - a sharp bend one arm at the elbow, and another
overlaps bent. Test - pulls one hand, and another beats his
for her in the shoulder and pointed to his backside. People - in shock ...
Old miner said his in-law:
- What are you doing with his father did not find a common language? I did so
years, I know - just a wonderful guy!
- Yes, you do not understand! - Meets in-law - we have excellent
attitude! I asked him a sign: "My stupid home?" - He said the sign:
"The two - at home." Then I asked him: "0,5 there?", To which he replied:
"There are 0,7 and behind the toilet!"

In fact, this anecdote should show.
Joke #7690 —  
 
0
 
"Sea monkeys" - is unknown to the general public erotic film
Jacques-Yves Cousteau.
Joke #7688 —  
 
0
 
He died an old goat. And down his soul, as expected, to the river, and
there - the boat, and rowed sitting wolf. Kozel and froze with fright, and the wolf
says:
- Che look, cabbage, come on!
Joke #7687 —  
 
0
 
- First of all - airplanes!
- Well, girls?
- A girl then ... will look for a black box!
Joke #7686 —  
 
0
 
American and Russian soldiers undergo tests for survival.
American caught a frog, eat her alive, ate a handful of rain
worms zazheval all this with a piece of cow dung.
Russian:
- Well, never mind his stamina! And you need to do?
American:
- The power of faith and belief in our own strength!
A Russian takes a table, puts on his cognac, caviar, balyk, vegetables
Fruit and invites noted the success of American. He gladly
accepts the offer .. and once they start to eat, as the Russian puts
the table cell with skunks. Scoones issues battle cry and starts
chemical attack .. American grabs the nose and comes out of
table, and Russian as if nothing had happened continued to drink and a snack.
American looks at him ofigevshimi eyes:
- Wow ... That I can not afford! And what did I miss?
Russian pulls out from the eye contact lenses and congestion of the nose:
- Probably, a sense of humor!
Joke #7685 —  
 
0
 
The hospital:
- Sister, tell me, bedridden give food?
- Give, but it selected walking. Can only duck.
Joke #7684 —  
 
0
 
- Earth! - Wearily exclaimed shipwrecked, getting
shore.
- Meat! - Shouted the natives happy, running out from behind the bushes.
Joke #7683 —  
 
0
 
Conversation of two hockey fans:

- Do you know why the Belarusian ice hockey players defeated the Swedes at the Olympics?
- I know! Swedish goalkeeper Tommy Salo played badly ...
- Nonsense! Play something, he better still would have lost. The whole point of his
names!
- I do not understand!
- Do you remember: the whole world knew that the Belarusian Olympians not
finish feeding. Therefore, when Belarusians took to the ice and saw
opposite the gate to the goalkeeper shirt inscription "SALO" keep them
It was impossible!
Joke #7682 —  
 
0
 
In connection with the problems of Chechnya and the Kuril Islands, Russia
Government has Solomonic decision, based on past promises
Bush Jr.. give the Japanese Kurile Islands, namely: that all Chechens to carry on
Islands and rapidly bring them to Japan. All claims to Bush.

Mihalich.
Joke #7681 —  
 
0
 
Sits Yeltsin at his dacha in Barvikha. Output. Resting. Before him the red
carpet. He sits in a chair, pants rolled up to the knee - hovers in
pelvis legs. Livshits comes to him and said:
- Boris, the Americans arrived. Involving long-term return.
Yeltsin:
- You see what's what with them myself, you see - a rest ... respite ask.
Livshits:
- He said - do not agree. You require.
Yeltsin gets up and goes to him for a meeting, leaving the red carpet
wet
traces. Livshits says:
- Would you, Boris Nikolayevich, pants would later ...
Yeltsin (unbuttoning his fly):
- Shit, how are we owe them?
Joke #7680 —  
 
0
 
Facts of health research in the United States.

a) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer from heart
much less than the British and Americans.

B) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also
suffer from heart attacks much less than the British and Americans.

c) The Japanese drink very little red wine, and have fewer heart attacks than
Americans and British.

d) The Italians consume huge quantities of red wines, and also have
far fewer heart attacks than the British and Americans.

Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. All your problems - from the English
language.
Joke #7679 —  
 
0
 
Issue of the Armenian radio:
- Why do American movies men standing at the urinal, do not look
down, as we are, but on the wall?
- Yes because not even look at that!
Joke #7678 —  
 
0
 
It turns out that using two bricks can easily make a bad
ballet dancer beautiful opera singer.
Joke #7676 —  
 
0
 
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