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Once upon a programmer, and he had two sons - Anton and Neanton.
Russia has sold Iran a series of missiles from the new collection Yudashkin
Electric, unrolling the electric meter in the next ten years,
accidentally rewind two years in prison.
Millions of people dream of immortality, do not know what to do on Wednesday
Very often, after a good test, reliable rear is
Sitting man on a visit at the table. First filed, treat:
- Eat, eat, please.
He sits there, not eat. Again:
- Eat, eat, please.
And he was silent, silent, and said:
- Yes, even if I was given a spoon, still would not!
I refuse to take part in the upbringing of his son, because I want it
raised a good man.
Boil the water ...
Psychoanalysis is nothing but an attempt to take pleasure in the brain,
designed for other body ...
Old age - this is when he bends over to tie shoelaces on
shoes, and wonder what else to do down here.
Where better to invest money? I am in some places just do not put yourself --
wife still finds!
Mama-vampire-werewolf father. Son does not know at whose feet go, whether in
The tax, whether in the Interior Ministry.
I look at Obama and think: "do not call that Chernomyrdin.
Two peasants drink beer after work. Drank a mug, one says:
- Well, one more?
- No, I gotta go, I bet his wife is home with a rolling pin waits.
- And my wife is waiting for me correctly. Already 25 years.
- How do you manage?
- And like that - we're sitting here, and she Uryupinsk.
If you happened ass, then .... (Old joke with additions).
Confucianism: Confucius teaches: "Cluchilas ass.
Buddhism: If you happened ass - in fact it is not ass.
Hedonism: Het is nothing better than good occurred asshole.
Hinduism: This ass has happened before.
Mormons: This ass is going to happen.
Stoicism: This ass I only benefit.
Islam: If ass happened - hence the fact was the will of Allah.
Catholicism: Ass happened because you were poor.
Calvinism: Ass case from the fact that we are not working hard enough
Protestantism: Let this asshole would happen to someone else.
Judaism: And why is this asshole only happen to us?
Ppavoslavie: Ass happened? Hu and *** with it ....
Hare Krishna: Ass happened. Rama-Ramas.
Atheism: Uh, w-ass! Where are you? ...
Existentialism: What is an ass, in fact?
Rastafarianizm: Let zabem cannot from this asshole!
Subjective solipsism: Ass - that's me!
Objective solipsism: Ass - it's you!
Haynlaynizm: We all - ass!
Pessimism: Ass permanently! She was, is and will be.
Fpeydizm: Ass occurred in the Early childhood.
Jung: What happened ass is manifestation of the Great aphetipa
Carnegie: For me, this asshole has already happened.
Bern: This ass has happened with my grandmother.
Gestalt approach: And what do I care about this asshole.
Japan: If you happened ass - then this should robotize.
U.S.: To ass feel good, need to invest additional $ 1,5
trillion. in the automotive industry: let the assholes be comfortable.
RF: To asses will not happen, we must rebuild its architecture.
EU: If you happened ass, we must secure gas
China: You have this asshole have not seen!
Georgia: We have no asses!
Ukraine: They have two: ass and ... Polly - so appetizing ...
The problem Ukrainian authorities is that, when Yushchenko
appealed to Tymoshenko on television, she listens to the radio or call him
phone in an empty room.
During the current economic crisis, Ukraine has become a leader in the depth
the fall of the economy. The population of Ukraine is preparing to change its direction
at the next election.
Russia's economy also dropped very significantly. People in Russia
alarming hour of even more rallied around their leaders and strongly
demanded to increase their term.
Subway, rush hour, go to Belarus. Molchel breaks without
line. "In his defense shouting: -" Yes, I'm in a hurry, there without my wife
bears! "" You'd better hurry, when she was pregnant without you, and
Now somehow what ... "
(polubyl and thinking aloud)
Medvedev calls Obama:
- How do you have there a crisis?
- We have no crisis, and The program of the national weight loss. You, by the way,
The same applies.
The crisis has become a very popular method of fasting.
- China has officially announced the beginning of the fight with multiple
taboo mezhpolovyh relations. Starting a great Chinese sexual
- Well, yes, the revolution they have, and n @ zdets worldwide.
The family of a new Russian.
- Dad, what to do, ended with toilet paper!
- At you pack stobaksovyh notes. Only excess still not spent.
- How intilligentno not cursing obscenities, saying "Oh itelnaya * lifting * BKA"?
- Ochlenitelnaya podsnoshka "
Within anti-crisis measures Russia's government paid the debts
oligarchs and the people given free to the rope and soap.
If you have only a beautiful ass, try to make it to his face.
Fool - a person who particularly cares for their brains, and therefore
they are not throwing.
Previously, when acquaintance asked: "Where are you working?", Will soon be
ask: "Where are you working?".
Once suspicious: the fall in oil prices had fallen heavily in price
We sellers have several degrees of stale bread: normal,
today, yesterday, "from the cold", "inside it is mild," "as always".
But in any case not stale!
The main task of paid medicine - Translate acute pain from becoming chronic.
Paradox! When they need money - they are not, and when the money does not need them, too
Scientists have discovered a new species of fish - fish carrion. Do not be caught and all here ...
After the crisis, the major industries in the economy will be hunting and
- How good that our MPs like so many PR!
- Is it? Yes, these faces have all fed up!
- Right! When the time comes people's revolt, each with their ease
U-conscious women on Feb. 23 will never have a headache.
A young girl, after a complex operation, barely opening his eyes, asked
To the surprise of the question the doctor:
She replied with a sigh:
- What to do, doctor. You've got to live.
- You know, he offered me sex in the second interview! You knew
- Oh, I know! His name is Brake!
Pravda said that cognac every year gets better.
The older I get, the more I like him.
While his wife was away, desperately wanted to change in the atmosphere apartment
- Purchased the carpet for vodka.
I am of these men can not stand! Here I see a nice guy - and not as much
I can tolerate.
Husband came home drunk. Wife is already in bed. It comes in a dark bedroom
and begins to rummage hand on the wall. Looks switch. Wife woke up and
helps her husband commands his grope:
- To the left, now right, below, above!
It takes a few minutes.
In the next room is heard the voice of Tiffany's:
- My daughter! Do not worry guy! Take hand!
Ukrainian Foreign Ministry has finally deciphered it Chernomyrdin.
I lead a healthy lifestyle. I would even say hefty.
Man sunbathing on the beach. Suddenly feeling the shadow. Opens eyes
next is a girl.
- Hey, you bald! Do not block the sun!
- That I'm bald?
- I know better below.
Photoshop - the best tool for problem skin.
The lesson of Russian language. - Little Johnny, give me an example of the introductory sentence. - Please: "Marivanna, enter!"
Drunk as a honey hop hero Dobrynia Nikitich and wanted it urgent to satisfy their sexual needs heroic. He went out into the street, glanced into the village - where the girls dance. Only he to the girls that went, as it were detained. Well, okay, Dobrynia Nikitich thought, let it be the police ... And to satisfy its sexual needs.
Was yesterday at the Chelyabinsk market and heard from all sides: "Barevzes, ahpets, Karen, Hey! "And where do they get so many Muscovites?
There comes a soldier in the medical unit. Doctor of him: - Listen, and yet in the civilian world you would have treated me with such garbage does not go! - Of course, I would have called you at home! ..
- You can not work with people, you bark at all! - Yes?! A dog, among other things - to each person. - You're not a dog, you - bitch!