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The soldier and the sergeant:
- Let me go to the toilet!
- Come, I give you two minutes.
- And if not that enough?
- Back - I'll add.

suckme `s saloon - life online - http://suckme.ru/
Joke #11869 —  
 
0
 
My home computer is used at 300%: at the system unit, we
add up the magazines, with a keyboard and mouse is played with a child, and on
monitor sits a teddy bear.
Joke #11868 —  
 
0
 
Ponomarev, demanded that his match with Kasparov and the winner
the loser got 50% of the prize fund. Once it was awkward
require that the loser got 100%.
Joke #11867 —  
 
0
 
At the intersection, in the rear of the 600-mu merci cuts antediluvian armored car. Of
Mersa jumps out, of course, New Russian, his fingers like a fan, ready for battle.

And from the armored car out uncle in a gray coat and a cap with a red-haired
beard. Schurit uncle good-predobrye eyes, and said eNeRovtsu:
- And you, my dear fellow, not in that anecdote stopped. Felix!
Asstelyayte, please, this buzhuya.

- Eric Gentile
Joke #11866 —  
 
0
 
Discover the secret of a happy family life!
It turns out for this woman must be a "lark" and husband "owl.
Then the wife does not see how the husband comes home, and the husband does not see what it
wakes in the morning!
Joke #11865 —  
 
0
 
Tell me you were pregnant in the family?
Joke #11864 —  
 
0
 
The entire population of our country is divided into three categories:
- Those who know the words of the old hymn,
- Those who know the words of the new gomna,
- Sergey Mikhalkov, who knows and they both ...
Joke #11863 —  
 
0
 
I am an honest woman, and therefore expensive.
Joke #11862 —  
 
0
 
Hereditary lazy - too lazy to do it when the offspring.
Joke #11861 —  
 
0
 
Forty years Moses led the Jews through the desert, but all to no.
Susanin something with a couple of days coped.

Conclusion: the Jews are not Poles, they are not so easy to start ..
Joke #11860 —  
 
0
 
Francois, pale as death, tells his friends:
- I got into a taxi and immediately realized that behind the wheel - ac. How he maneuvered
between machines, escaped the truck, slipped just under the noses
Pedestrian! But really I'm scared already then. When we arrived,
he
took out a magnifying glass to look at the counter.

suckme `s saloon - http://suckme.ru/
Joke #11859 —  
 
0
 
- Petrov, received the final results of your analysis ... I think you
leave the hospital this week ...
- Doctor - many thanks!
- I am afraid, sick, you are not correctly understood me ...

suckme `s saloon - http://suckme.ru/
Joke #11858 —  
 
0
 
- Hello, this is the good offices of the Bureau?
- Yes, a dick do you want?

suckme `s saloon - http://suckme.ru/
Joke #11857 —  
 
0
 
Women's ideal for men:
1. Women should repeal cook, perfect to wash and iron.

2. A woman should be good, caring mother.

3. Woman should be fantastic in bed.

But the main thing is that all three of these women never learned
each other's existence.
Joke #11856 —  
 
0
 
Brezhnev in Luxembourg. He represented the Minister of Internal Affairs.
Brezhnev:
- Is such a small country like yours, you need a Minister of the Interior?
- But, - meet the Prime Minister - because when I was in the USSR, I
submit your Minister of Justice.
Joke #11855 —  
 
0
 
Male - LEO acquainted with a woman, preferably CANCER ...
Joke #11854 —  
 
0
 
"For those who sews" - a favorite magazine prosecutors.
suckme `s saloon - http://suckme.ru/
Joke #11853 —  
 
0
 
In the Netherlands the problem of tooth decay ... Only ten grams of cannabis in
toothpaste - and your children start to brush your teeth instead of two, three, four
and even five times a day!
suckme `s saloon - http://suckme.ru/
Joke #11852 —  
 
0
 
Waking up the husband and wife.
Male, stretching:
- Honey,'ll make my tea, please.
Wife:
- I do not want ...
Husband:
Well, for beautiful eyes!
Wife:
- No, I do not want.
Husband:
- And for the whole teeth? ..
Joke #11851 —  
 
0
 
That's all I say - worked with their heads. I can not understand - how can
work in such a blunt instrument?
Joke #11850 —  
 
0
 
Hozhki Bush's appearance was juicy and flavorful, but the main advantage
continued to hide under large family cowards.
Joke #11849 —  
 
0
 
In the honeymoon the young husband around the clock fishes with a friend.
After a while he asked:
- Do not you think that the honeymoon you have to do something
others?
- My wife gonorrhea, but I love to fish ...
- But that there are other ways to have sex.
- My wife has diarrhea, but I love to fish ...
- But this place does not matter too limited!
- My wife has the decay of language, and I love to fish ...
- Why did you choose a spouse with health problems?
- She has a lot of worms, but I love to fish ...
vden
Joke #11848 —  
 
0
 
January 31.
Sozzled inspectors arrive in Iraq's missile base.
Inspector:
- Ah arguing guys, you have no rockets! @ I do not fly.
Iraqis:
- And here is the fly.
Inspector:
- What to prove?
Iraqis:
- Specify the destination.
Inspector:
- Well, out in that garbage that is flying in the sky!
The rocket takes off, gets in the shuttle with the first Jewish-astronaut on board
Ohrenevshie Inspector:
- If only you and no weapons of mass destruction, for exceeding the range
40 km will have to answer!
Joke #11847 —  
 
0
 
- I heard Paul McCartney is coming to us. Will speak on Red
area.
- Well it will not go.
- Why?
- Without John Paul - money down the drain.
Joke #11655 —  
 
0
 
GIBDD announces spring action: No brakes - two violations of the price
one. I shall draw a car among the 20 responding receipts
during the winter campaign: 200 on the counter.
Joke #11654 —  
 
0
 
Up to 20 - my dear,
Up to 40 - each,
Up to 60 - Comrade
Up to 80 - a veteran,
When - tap.
Joke #11653 —  
 
0
 
Rabbits in the tram,
Frogs on a broomstick ...
I think Chukovskij sat on the drug!
Joke #11652 —  
 
0
 
- Mom, look, he became so gladenkim and not shooting up!
- You idiot, why are you hedgehog in Lenore wash?
Joke #11651 —  
 
0
 
If the word "bread" made four errors and get the word
"beer", so they were not mistakes.
Joke #11650 —  
 
0
 
- Look, she is that her finger in your mouth not put!
- I'm not in your mouth. And not a finger!
Joke #11649 —  
 
0
 
You think your life is boring. Are you tired harmony and peace in the family.
Come to us. Divorce transfer "WINDOWS"! TNT helps!
Joke #11648 —  
 
0
 
In the collective farm "Red Dawn" burned 75 hectares of cannabis collective farm --
which can not by the chairman ...
Joke #11647 —  
 
0
 
Stirlitz looked at the last page of "Komsomolskaya Pravda" and among the anecdotes
saw a new one. "Yes, quite a while I did not drop in to Werner at Anekdot.Ru --
thought Stirlitz.
Joke #11646 —  
 
0
 
- Grandma, I again dreamed of flying!
- So it's you, young reptile, cut me?
Sasha
Joke #11645 —  
 
0
 
- I was a child, parents often put in the corner ... the left, ...
top!
Sasha
Joke #11644 —  
 
0
 
- What would have happened if Peter, I amputated the legs and wearing a skirt?
- The Tsar Bell.
Joke #11643 —  
 
0
 
MENU
Confectionery products, fruit
Greypovosch
Watermelon peeled
Bananas the Chukchi
Prunes local boiler
Cranberries, soaked killers
Santa Barberry (caramel multiple parts)
Candy "ASSArti" (Georgians in chocolate)
Chocolate "Tales of Yeltsin" (Decree of the President declared edible)
Kiwi by Givi
Joke #11642 —  
 
0
 
180-120-180. Looking for work on the laying sleepers. Intimacy does not offer.
Joke #11641 —  
 
0
 
A guy complains about the doctor about pain in his throat. He examined the patient and says:
- Do you strongly running upward hemorrhoids!
Joke #11640 —  
 
0
 
After knock-down, the referee asks Klitschko:
- What is your name, remember?
- Not sure!
- Sam get up?
- Not sure!
- Well, you at least in something sure?
- Yes. Beer "Chernigov" the best beer in the world!
Joke #11639 —  
 
0
 
Question Armenian radio: Why England will not extradite Berezovsky to Russia?
Answer: Because he would make a film about the Holocaust and receive an Oscar.
Joke #11638 —  
 
0
 
Pavarotti with someone talking on the phone and fabricate something
unimaginable: screamed, shouted, hissed, let "rooster" and eerie Parisian.
Finally he ended the conversation and hung up.
- Luciano - asked his wife, Nicoletta. - Who do you say?
- One idiot demonstrated how sings Rabinovich, - responded very
pleased with himself Pavarotti.
Joke #11637 —  
 
0
 
30 years and 3 years old lying on the stove Ilya Murom ...
This hangover Russ did not know!
Sasha
Joke #11636 —  
 
0
 
The minimum program for people who suffer unreasonable demand
in self-realization:

1. Jump with a parachute.
2. Edit wife.
3. Move to another city.

By necessity zamikshirovat:

1. Reset wife without a parachute.
2. Move to another city without his wife.
Joke #11635 —  
 
0
 
- I have an exam tomorrow. Mom, I'm worried.
- The capital of Argentina?
- Buenos Aires.
- The capital of Portugal?
- Lisbon.
- Mum, let's again!
- The capital of Argentina?
- Buenos Aires.
- The capital of Portugal?
- Lisbon.
"Sasha
Joke #11634 —  
 
0
 
- You got the formula?
- No.
- And I say, you got the formula! Listen, you, Schumacher! You have all
formula got to come first!
Sasha
Joke #11633 —  
 
0
 
Once David Copperfield Statue of Liberty covered the veil
and she disappeared.
"Miracle" - people think.
"Not a fig" - thought Copperfield.
Sasha
Joke #11632 —  
 
0
 
They met in a bar a guy with a girl. Word by word, went to him
home for a cup of coffee. Plant it in her bedroom, and then full wardrobe
teddy bears: the bottom of the very young, taller - a little more, but at the very
top shelf - the biggest.
Girl touched, must, I think, a pretty eccentric. Formed the
bed, they took love, and then she asked:
- And what have you got for the Bears?
- Oh yes, I forgot! Choose your prize from the bottom shelf!
Joke #11631 —  
 
0
 
What is totalitarianism? This is democracy in the open.
Joke #11630 —  
 
0
 
New book market.

Manual for Surgeons "Eternal seam.
Sergei Dorenko, "War and the mayor."
V. Zhirinovsky, "Quiet rut.
Ivanoff
Joke #11629 —  
 
0
 
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