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The best husbands - are civil servants: they never come home tired,
and the newspaper they had by this time is always read.
Joke #12771 —  
 
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Two friends drink at the bar. One of them asks the other:
- Do you ever happen to lie in bed with a horrible woman?
- No, something not remember. But I often wake up next to such.
Joke #12770 —  
 
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Mobil'nik as a calf at least once in two days, but we need to "insert"
(charger). And it will not work ...
Joke #12769 —  
 
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Two versions of a joke

Version Programmer
The programmer tells his friends, the same as it is:
- Yesterday, in a night club, I met a blonde, so hot!
Friends:
- Wow!
- Then I invited her to him, we drank it, I began to fondle her.
- Hello!
- Then she tells me: "Undress me!"
- Cool!
- I took off her pants, put it on the table and right on the keyboard ...
- No shit yourself, you bought a PC? And what processor?
________________________________________
Version blonde
- Yesterday I met a programmer in a nightclub.
Girlfriends:
- Wow!
- Then he invited me to her, we drank with him, and he started me
caress.
- Hello!
- And then I said to him: "Undress me!"
- Cool!
- He took off my pants ...
Girlfriends:
- No shit yourself, are you in shorts walking??
Joke #12768 —  
 
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The Invisible Man seeking a woman for the implementation of transparent unprecedented
ideas.
Joke #12767 —  
 
0
 
Dating a girl for short-term relationship.
Chikatilo AR
Joke #12765 —  
 
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God, seeing from above how much the land wars, are sending their
son so that he razrulil situation. Jesus descends to earth, there
a hippie, when he saw that he had long hair and beard, comes to
him and said:
- Yes you, I see ours! Come with me, do not be sorry.
- But I ...
- But wait, then we'll talk, I have good grass, let Qurna
first.
In general, they go to a secluded place, lit on door jamb, and hippies
asks:
- Are you out there to say?
- Yes, I am the son of God!
- Oh I told you: classroom grass!
Joke #12764 —  
 
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Team Russia started to be drawing the ball in training
the center of the field ...
Joke #12763 —  
 
0
 
News of administrative reform.

In the structure of the Government of Russia organized by the Department of Extra-te-te, and
Agency Ai-ne-ne.
Joke #12762 —  
 
0
 
Traffic Police in DOBDD
Better not! Department to provide better basic public-Single
Road Safety! And what a bright sign on the form, as well!

DOBDD - Add Money Dude
Joke #12761 —  
 
0
 
DOBDD - Department of weaning big money on the road ;-))
or:
Department of Organization of rapid movement of money ...
Mihelsonych
Joke #12760 —  
 
0
 
Instead, traffic police will now DOBDD, which stands for
Give Werewolves grandmother and Dui Continue.
Joke #12759 —  
 
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With money in your pocket and you're smart, and handsome, and even know how to sing.
Joke #12758 —  
 
0
 
- What does it mean for a man "to help around the house?
- Raising the legs, when his wife sweeps.
Joke #12757 —  
 
0
 
Vodka in a glass bottle of 0,33 - demo is practically ...
Joke #12756 —  
 
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- Why is Russia still music in the communist anthem? Is
can not collect composers and write something serious and
sublime?
- Tuk collect some can, but nothing serious "Musi-pusi" they still
fails ...
Joke #12755 —  
 
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The secret of safe driving: "Imagine that you have forgotten right at home ..."
Joke #12754 —  
 
0
 
Ensign before stoem soldiers.
- Private Ivanov!
Two voices:
- I!
- Well, one of which i-my ... No, of Uy-fucking ... (pounding his fist on
forehead)
- Perhaps from Ukhta?
- Exactly! Attire in the kitchen!
Joke #12753 —  
 
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Former state security agents are called - eksGEBEtsionisty.
Joke #12752 —  
 
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Putin once thought, turnips scratches: whether deputies are elected by
single-member constituencies, whether mandavoshek appointed from party lists?
Joke #12751 —  
 
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Rabbit like a boa constrictor at a glance.
Joke #12750 —  
 
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Mafioso comes to electrical shops.
- I iron.
- You what? Pomoschnee, weaker, with Teflon-coated or
metal soleplate, Steam or not?
- And what hurt?
(C) Robie.
Joke #12749 —  
 
0
 
It is not true that Abramovich rowing money hand over fist. Well, judge for yourself --
where you saw a Jew with a shovel!?
Joke #12748 —  
 
0
 
A man gives way to the bus a young girl.
She (politely): Thank you.
He: Thanks to the dick not zasunesh ...
Joke #12747 —  
 
0
 
- How do you think will be whether President Putin again?
- Do not be.
- Why?
- He will again be the Secretary General.
www.xaxaxa.ru
Joke #12746 —  
 
0
 
They talk to two friends:
- Hey, Man, I envy you! Good for you for Vaskino broad back!
- Yes, much much more! I have placed three lovers!
Joke #12745 —  
 
0
 
From news. Yesterday at a nudist beach was a fashion show.
Joke #12744 —  
 
0
 
My son, seven years he has accumulated money and gave the neighbor's six-year girl laying female. Her mother more than me do not say hello.
Joke #12523 —  
 
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Two days ago came the representatives of "Tide" - asked to look at shirts. Yesterday came the representatives Duckling - asked to look at the toilet. Today came the representatives of "Blendamed" - will look at the teeth. Anxiously waiting the arrival of representatives of "Always" with Tampax ...
Joke #12522 —  
 
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It ended with a drink Petya Vassily Ivanovich. Go HIV in store returned two hours later, sozzled, without drinking, and Petya sat table sober and thinking: "Well, I'll remember this." We went to bed, slept HIV, and Petya to him in jest the second member of plasticine attached a lay down to sleep. Rise early from a terrible cry: "Petka, I will not more so drunk! Look, I have two members: one, I pulled the second he fell off. "
Joke #12521 —  
 
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On the central street of Tbilisi rushing a wedding procession. Speed under 120. GAI, so as not to arrange an accident, stopped the car and the last said drove: - Daragoy why so bistros edishsh, ponimaishsh skorast prevysil. Pay shataraf! - Uh, daragoy why so gavorishsh, vse well traveled! Zachem me tolko stopped? Zachem shtrafuishsh!? - Listen, daragoy you kada any fish caught!? He caught, yes? Tell me honest, how much do you rybov one kuryuchok caught??
Joke #12520 —  
 
0
 
All very amusing anecdote
Joke #12519 —  
 
0
 
- Dad! A Santa Claus can select the gifts back? - Well, we, who lives in the forest, can not, and that the Kremlin - can!
Joke #12518 —  
 
0
 
When Vladimir Putin was a kid, he often played checkers with himself. Volodya never surrender with honor out of the most difficult situations, and always won. That's how he trained himself to the psychology of a winner.
Joke #12517 —  
 
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The guy with the girl bought tickets to the cinema. - Do you have tickets to the box? - Yes, but it is very close to the screen, and very little you can see. Male: - And we are not the main thing! The girl, embarrassed: - We came to this film because of its musical accompaniment!
Joke #12515 —  
 
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If fate has turned his back to you, just wait until it bend ...
Joke #12514 —  
 
0
 
Solves a young couple get married, but before that his wife said the future husband: - I did not marry you until you bring me a certificate that you all you can and you're not sick. What man went to the doctor and says: - So and so, they say, the girl asked my help that I have has capacity. That look around me and let me help. Doctor examined him and wrote to help MTS. A guy picked up and went spravochku home. On the way home thinking deciphering abbreviations: "to correct this means Powerful Fat strong. Thought and went home satisfied. Comes home and get help to his wife and says: - Look here - powerful fat strong ... - And can a small thin weak ... They went to the doctor to resolve the dispute, they came and asked the guy: - Here's what you have written here? I say powerful fat strong, and the girl My little thin weak. Let us debate, say that Did you mean? Well the doctor and said: - Can only urinate
Joke #12513 —  
 
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Open a new site with the predictions of the future: WWW.pizdets.ru
Joke #12512 —  
 
0
 
Armenian Radio to question what the most significant invention of 20 century replied: remote control TV, c it, you can quickly find the channel free speech Kobzon.
Joke #12511 —  
 
0
 
Morning ... The lesson of literature. MarVanna asked Vovochka: - Vladimir, you "Mumu" read? - Well, yes ... current I did not understand ... ** th at it this cow drowned ...
Joke #12510 —  
 
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Putin met with Tszyu ... It is a pity that not in the ring!
Joke #12509 —  
 
0
 
News of the economy.

The winner of the auction of Yuganskneftegaz became firm GazPromSkupKrad. Gazprom has denied any involvement in this company.
Joke #12508 —  
 
0
 
Rumors about the sweetness of forbidden fruit have been greatly exaggerated. Yesterday's a virgin.
Joke #12507 —  
 
0
 
The most amusing creature - it is all in the dining room. At any time and in the most unexpected place she could always clone another tail.
Joke #12506 —  
 
0
 
Any matter should be dealt with by professionals. But the children are doing all and sundry. Therefore, we have so many broken-down!
Joke #12505 —  
 
0
 
This is from what the same beasts and creatures is a secular society, even if shabby cat can there be a socialite.
Joke #12504 —  
 
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There are two others: - Sanya, of course, your girlfriend - the woman Otpad, no doubt, but it also in one ear and out the other flies ... - Wrong! In the vacuum of sound does not apply!
Joke #12503 —  
 
0
 
Director of model agency collects models and says: - I want to tell you words of exhortation before today's demonstration. All you good models, were on the catwalks of London and Paris, but I am sure what at the show today is not only frighten Lena. All indignantly: - But why? Director: - Just because I do not take this fool.
Joke #12502 —  
 
0
 
News from the Administration of the President:

Due to the fact that the writers thank Leonid Kuchma haunted President of Belarus, Alexander Lukashenko began writing bestselera "Belarus - not Cuba!"
Joke #12500 —  
 
0
 
Boy mom: - Mom, we had yesterday in the class who have long measured the pussy, I longer than all. - Well DAK right, son, you're a teacher.
Joke #12499 —  
 
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