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Money - is evil.
But the good triumphs over evil.
Therefore, if you are good, the money you will not.
Armenian family .. The wife yells out the window:
- Louis, Louis, son, and come up home, it's time to eat!
Suddenly a man furiously shouting at his wife:
- Listen, Haykanush, who is Louis?
- How are those? I'm so our Levon, after studying in France, call.
- Ara, listen, Haykanush, so I thought then, well that our mi
eldest son Khoren not sent to France ...
Who else gets drunk (continued):
Atheists - snakes
priests - to crosses
shepherds - in the horn
bakers - in a slice
stripper - a tit
Gynecologists - in pussy
proctologists - to usrachki
prostitute - to fall
sages - till you drop
computer scientists - in the rug
programmers - in BASIC
builders - in scrap
welders - in an arc
Electricians - to zero
plumbing - in otklyuchku
drivers - in the steering wheel
Presidents - to complete impeachment.
Vasil Lucas (C)
After bribing traffic policemen smile and say:
"Smile, you filmed with a hidden camera!"
- And we clave the wood yesterday grandmother!
- What timurovtsi?
- Not-a tattoo.
Yesterday the Duma were introduced two bills, and both - forward legs.
- Chef on the spot?
- Papers read?
- And when can read?
- When the eyes after the procedure restored.
- Something dripped?
- No, drowned.
He learned to play football in Belarus and throughout Belarus began to build
football stadiums and arenas.
He learned to play hockey in Belarus and throughout Belarus began to build
ice hockey stadiums, hockey grounds.
Well, now the whole of Belarus is building a National Library
Third time - not pidaras? (modern, polit.)
Alexander Balashenko lukashirovalsya for a third term ...
The girl was so terrible that she was afraid at night and look in the mirror.
Husband comes home and hears - the flat Indian music playing,
sandalwood sticks burning, and his wife in the lotus position meditating on the carpet.
Husband - What is this garbage?!
Wife - Why, I'm going to Tibet.
Male - B% $ #, would be better if you ever met on the blowjob.
Talk English, French and Russian. Speaks English: "Valley, we
pronunciation difficult. We say "Birginghem" and write
"Birgingham (Birgingham)". "To which the Frenchman:" Oh la la, we like it! We
say "Bordeaux" and write "Bordeaux" (Bordeauks).. "Says Russian:
"Against us, this is nonsense. We say" Che? What Is? "And write" repeat
- Mama, Mama, I do at school say that my mouth is too big!
- Say lies they are, my son, do not cry, calm down, take a shovel and sit there soup.
Before marriage, I had never imagined that it --
1 ... may well satisfy me
2 ... such workable
3 ... so little in return calls Giving Love
4 ... can make love, how I want
5 ... feels with each passing year more and more, as I deliver
Men, take care of her, for she is you have one - the right hand
Who found a friend, he found the treasure, and who found the treasure, he is no longer seeking
There are three old and start telling each other about their
- My health feels good, except the view, nothing at all
do not see. When walking, bumping into objects, so that the streets
to walk slowly and carefully.
- And here I was hearing brings. When I was with someone saying, often incorrectly
understand the words, I answered at random and very funny look.
- But yesterday I saw a woman bent down and washes the floor, walked over to her
behind, pulled up her skirt and ... in general, it is. She told me: "What are you doing? --
Do not you see? "-" So we're doing this 10 minutes ago! "
- In what circumstances make love monkeys?
- In priMatnoy
It is hard to be god ... It must always have "Rama".
- Why Estonia does not have giraffes?
- Do not come down ..
What is the difference between Putin and Yeltsin?
Yeltsin - a clever bastard, kosivshaya a fool.
Putin - a fool, squinting under a clever bastard.
10 reasons why the car better than a man
1. Machine will not refuse to go, if you pour too much gasoline.
2. Machine vodka is only suitable for washing glasses.
3. The machine is indifferent to football.
4. Fly on the machine can only be in the ditch.
5. The machine can take a car service and repair BRAIN.
6. The machine will quietly wait for any amount, while you're in the store.
7. If you steal a car, it involves the marking of such men not
8. Machine can not escape herself.
9. You can always ride a friend's car.
10. Machine will not change without the gene. attorney.
Self-esteem - it is an erection.
Riddle, who was born in razgrebanii heaps of spam in your mailbox.
The best way to improve vision and increase penis?
Answer: The Magnifier
In the game with Portugal, we realized too literally betting bets
one to seven.
- Doctor, so that all the same to me??
- Calm down my friend, you ordinary masochist.
- Thank you Doctor! And then I thought that I was a patriot ...
Sat three fishermen in a boat with fishing rods. The dawn.
- What a beauty ... - Breathed first.
- Yes, cool ... - Agreed the second.
A third thought a little bit, and threw both of the boat.
For off-topic and flood ...
When inventing an Italian violin he thought of the woman, when the Frenchman
invent the harp, he also thought about women, as the Germans thought RUSSIAN WHEN
Zabey! shouted the coach.
And our fully complied with the installation of a coach. And scored on the game.
How many of our players played in the match with Portugal?
Three masculine completeness:
- Because of the large stomach can not see his penis;
- Not visible, is a member or not;
- Do not you see who makes you blowjob.
force him to fool x * nd suck, so it is a lip roll it out ...
I coach a football team interviewed:
- Tomorrow, a key match, and half of athletes suddenly found itself in
hospital with broken legs. How could this happen?
- You know, we decided to rest before the game, relax. Poyekhali
rest in the fashion and entertainment complex. Well, who would have thought that
these idiots for the first time in my life saw a bowling alley?
Once the Great Guru walked out of Tibet to Shambhala. And on the mountain
path he met Wild gopas.
Guru does not lose his head and stood up in the terrible fighting stance "Midnight Dragon
scratching his right foot behind his left ear. "rack was almost
invincible. But Wild Gopy were uneducated and did not know this, and broke
great guru generously lyuley .... Another shot and the clock ....
soap - "bright"
soap - "klassichaskoe"
soap - "dark"
Advertising referendum in Belarus: If you vote for - any place
mark in the box "for".
If the signs placed in both squares - bulletin is
If the sign is not placed in any box - bulletin is
If the sign is placed in the box "against" - bulletin is
It is true that in the Moscow subway is a secret branch of the government and
President? True. Also there is a secret route and trolley
top-secret tram line on which Putin drives to work.
It is known that Russia has two misfortunes. And in Belarus - the one and only,
At the finish of the next stage of the Formula-1 was the first car with
strange ads on the right side:
"Open here" and "Payment at the entrance."
Yesterday, presidential candidate John Kerry said the following:
"Do you want to the country for another 4 years by the president, who all
given to those who are already all there is? "
By this fact, the General Prosecutor's Office Russia has already initiated a criminal
There is such a profession, son, W @ home yabyvat ...
Two photographers with cameras walk, look around through
viewfinder pictures. Some stumbled and fell. Second immediately falls
- Great view! And what we remove?
Announcement. Mend the roof, dug the garden, mess of things.
Humanity has reached its physical limit when
marathon will begin their race from a low start.
- How to become a successful person?
- You now go to the toilet?
- Yes ..
- Successfully? ...
"How did you find out a Scottish scientist, Loch Ness is not named in
honor of the famous monster, and in honor of the first tourist, who was
Everything was Nifiga not.
There was a lake. The lake is actually lived a monster. Local it had
not care - are accustomed to. Visitors were not so many rumors were
rumors. But everything happens for the first time, and, behold, two Russian
baryg, tired of the beauties of the Tropic of Capricorn, went rubbed on the stern
Scottish nature. Zaruliv the lake, they saw a monster, and sensitive
thinking, entered into negotiations with him. Well, like they provide promotion
and lakes and monsters, build hotels and lure tourists. Monster --
frighten tourists. All income from the business - in half. Agreed.
Everything went almost according to plan: the monster guy tourists, the tourists were housed in
camping, the proceeds went to the offshore ... are just part of the business monster
from Lake Ness barygi rats started from day ....
Until now, the monster is not earned a penny, but acquired the appropriate
- Do you have eggs in a dream ride?
- Mean square.
- Do you have eggs in a dream ride?
- So crablouse football play.
In the apartment the phone rings. Suitable dog mouth picks up the receiver:
- Hello, you did not hear the spelling!
- Galina, Anton, Victor.
Fans of extreme tourism:
- Tours to Egypt. Devastatingly low prices.
- Rest in prison North Korea food ration for the prisoners.
Actual weight loss of 30 kg.
So, the first decade of November 2004. U.S. presidential election were held, votes
counted, and found that they shared contributes absolutely in half, with
up to one vote. In order to determine finally the winner decided
to any competition. Long argued, finally decided this:
Bush and Kerry together go to Alaska, and there three days engaged in ice
fishing. Who more catches - then the U.S. president for the next four
First day. Kerry caught 10 fish, Bush - none.
Second day. Kerry caught 15 fish, Bush - no one!
Naturally, Bush is nervous, is Dick Cheney (vice president) and
said to him: "Go, explored why it is so, they probably cheat.
Cheney is in the exploration in the camp of the enemy, returned excited.
"George, they really have brazenly cheating! THEY drilling holes IN