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Interior Minister complains about the press conference:
- This is the part you just seem to deal with werewolves and easily
just ... And you try to get into my skin!
As RIA Novosti reports today not far from Tskhinvali Group
Russian peacekeepers, together with Ossetian peacekeepers disarmed
and beat up a column of Georgian peacekeepers.
From the statements of the Central Bank:
- There is no reason to panic. In Russia there is no bank
crisis. The usual staffing process withdrawal of money from
You, guys are rude! You need only sex! And we, girls,
need attention ...
- Attention will now be sex!
From Cloudy dictionary of Russian language:
The draft - a girl who lives a very stormy and eventful life.
What is the difference between a woman and wallpaper?
Desktop first fight, then glue and glue the woman first, and then fight.
What's the similarity?
And those and other old fight, but the new glue.
Karamelka Chupa Chups accidentally fell into a box of chewing gum on dental caries.
- Who are you? - Surprised Orbit.
- Your employer!
What kind of society are, and smells in a public toilet.
Our scientists have discovered an interesting pattern. It turns out, no matter how
growing wages, prices are rising much faster.
Hab was Guta Bank. And he had three ATMs. Two intelligent and a fool
which still gave money.
Taught by bitter experience of the 1998 crisis, now I do not put "all eggs
in one basket ", and placed the deposits in several banks --
"Sodbiznesbank", Guta-bank "and" Credittrust.
The shop hats.
- I would like to buy a hat.
- With pleasure, and what size you need?
- Well, whether 45, whether 55, all does not remember ...
- Well, then probably 45 ...
At present, the police cars are only "kryakalki.
The situation will change next year. For the younger grades, kryakalki "so
and will remain, but the older ones will be "bychalki, the generals will also be traveling with
Ten best tennis players in the world must urgently increase - is
Wife, after a photo studio:
- My dear, I do not like how I took the photo on the passport. Face
dark eyes some strange, hair sticking up ...
- Come on, let there be at least Baba Yaga, the main thing - that you had to
From the explanatory note: "He called me by my dad than me
Putin said McCartney:
- Paul, I have the same music the Beatles since childhood love! I remember back in childhood
kindergarten song taught:
Lennon - this spring blooming!
Lennon - a victory cry!
Glory in centuries, Lennon,
Our dear Lenin!
Everyone knows that the dish is much more tasty when you invest in it
Introducing new stock cubes with pieces of natural soul!
Our know-how: Airbags for Russian cars
self-locking in an accident to reduce the cost of subsequent
In connection with the need to increase the share of Russian components in
Ford Focus, Ford intends to increase the number of rubber
rugs to eight.
- At the session, you will have to forget about his personal life.
- And what kind of blonde you brought yesterday in the restaurant? etc.
- Sergei Ivanov, Russia's future soldier army ...
We won our tennis at Roland Garosse and Wimbledon. Well, Putin has decided
they write a formal greeting. Sat down, wrote:
- Dear ... as they are called? T-shirts? Tenisserki? Tennisershy?
Tennisyuhi? Tennisihi? Tennisilschitsy?
Phoned his wife:
- Lud, listen, I've been an official greeting to write about the victory
Roland Garosse. Prikin could not remember I can, as called
who play tennis?
- Volodya, well, you just zaraportovalsya! Remember the name of the girl
are engaged in judo?
- Well, Judo ... Che, directly or write: Dear Judo,
You do not talk about it, but Russia's army is very large losses
"friendly fire": the soldiers and officers, going to the toilet to relieve himself, the
habit of throwing a grenade at him.
If we assume that Windows - the feminine, only then can
understand its work and constant volatility whims.
One man in the same town was a regular at the bar. He went there
every day at the same time on one and the same road toy. And when
that it was all up to the lantern, he could not make out the road, just go to your
Well, his "friends" decided to play a trick on him. In the middle of the road (on
where he goes), put a pile of dog shit. And clearly on
Scheduled bar the door opens and this guy is, but in his hands
pile of shit))). He makes a happy face, raises his hands so
all seen, and says:
- Look, people, what I almost blundered.
Due to the unusually high temperatures this summer, the Government
decided to disable the hot water in order to somehow protect
population from heat stroke.
New product from the manufacturer: "Crackers with a taste of bread"!
One friend asks the other:
- So how did you spend the night with its tourist?
- Oh, and do not ask! Traveler - he is a traveler.
- And what is it?
- Yes he has sex and feels an irresistible urge to change places.
CAV "Building a pyramid together."
She: Darling, I want to live with you happily ever after!
He: Honey, if you will live happily, I do not hold out for a long time ...
For the transfer of power in Iraq to the Iraqi government to President Bush was
conferred the honorary title of Master of circus arts in the nomination
Showman. In the eyes of millions of voters he has a very
credibly convey what he has, the one who does not.
Again, it was reported that Anna Kournikova is going to return
tennis. In the near AREM it will conduct several demonstration games.
What exactly will show Kournikova did not specify.
A tennis player says to another:
- I do not understand that figure skating ... They've got as much two different mixed doubles,
a pair of normal (M-M and M-M) did not!
Good beer Zhiguli not call.
As a child I liked sports. And I even went to a few months
section of the box. And then they bought a pear tree ...
- How can dilute deaf and dumb girl?
- .... fingers!
- Let me go, Vanya, I'll have some use!
- And give you useful to me at first, and then I'll let you out.
Brezhnev visits a small provincial town.
In the general chorus: "Glory!" Faithful Leninist! The right track! breaks to
his grandfather and complained: "With bread shortages, no meat, fish do not see!"
Dear Leonid Ilyich frowns .. disposes of obkom dining
bring the five loaves and five fishes.
People built in turn, goes to Lena, he broke off a piece of bread and
a piece of fish and serves everyone. A dozen people have been - was over bread
ended with a fish.
Lenya: "Lies! So Jesus could not!"
- Yesterday was trying to organize a flash mob. Offered the girl to walk on
area in the nude.
- Well, come to anybody else?
- Yep. A flock of men, dressed ...
There comes a subordinate's office:
- Yes, of course, for the last time your department so well itself showed
that we decided to put you in the example.
- Yes? And before you have a different set ...
And why should we double our GDP? We have a feed ...
Little detail of the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games:
Team Russia was in caps, and Luzhkov on the podium was without a cap ...
Two Russian misfortunes - fools and roads - are offset by a Russian
happiness - vodka. Him drunk fools on the roads ....
Three pedophile talk ...
1: - I slept with a woman 8 years ... Not the body is already ... Not ...
2: - Had sex with a woman 5 years ... Not ... Rabbit ..
3: - And I think ... If a woman's teeth erupted ... It is not something ...
A guy comes to the doctor know the results of tests. Doctor:
- You have a 98% blood alcohol.
- 98%?? Blin, to hell I drank iced!
- Joseph Kobzon, Mark Bernes, Leonid rocks in the gold series ...
- And Philip Kirkorov - see jewelry!
Want a girl told you "Yes!"?
Ask whether it accepts the license agreement.
Announcement of the military unit: need a girl, 100cm, 100cm, 100cm,
for cleaning the tank, a week later came the answer: a girl 30-30-30,
for cleaning the barrel ...
New diaper "The Secret XXL" - hide our excitement!
Two peasants drank beer in a bar and talk for life.
- I then met a girl, I think, I'm head over heels in love ...
- I generally prefer marriages of convenience.
- The calculation? Are you married sixty!
- She has two children and three grandchildren!
- She had a penny for the soul!
- Forgive me, but anything more stupid, like a cork, and a bitch
some never seen the light!
- Well, I miscalculated a little ...