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Traditional signs. If a very long time to guard the public good,
then eventually it will become yours.
November 1, will be restricted entry to the EU countries to Israeli tourists,
because they do not meet international standards for noise.
Ministry of Health warns: Now, just about anything dangerous to your health!
Vanka Zhukov, whispers, sitting in front of computer:
- Not that time, Anton Pavlovich, sooner or later, my grandfather is still about
I know ...
In fact, to have a woman boss, there is only one advantage:
it can be:))
The teacher asked Little Johnny to write home 100 times: There will never be
the teacher says "you.
The next day the teacher checks the notebook, looks, and Little Johnny wrote
not 100, and 200 times the proposal.
- I've already asked not 200, and 100 times to write, why did you do
more? - Asks the teacher.
- To you it was pleasant - responsible Vovochka.
Every summer, exactly one month in Moscow, all begin to get acquainted with each
another, visit their friends, families, friends, houses, areas, recall
their relatives (mothers, grandmother, grandfather) ... But after a month is all
ends. Once again, given all the hot water.
Roskomsport pleased with the progress achieved in tennis and wrestling.
The next president of Russia Sports Committee asked to elect
The hardest part of writing a thesis - not to put smiles after each
Americans flying to Mars, meet Ukrainians returned.
The Yankees asked:
- Well, what is there?
A light hand movement dance floor turns into the ring ...
- I'm your age go to bed at 10 o'clock to sleep.
- You had a bad mother.
- It's better than you!
If you quickly run towards the traffic cop with a radar gun, waving a stick --
driver, remember that this uncomplicated way he can to wind
the radar at 30 km / hour.
At the berth is a big white steamer ...
Near the bridge walking the old sea dog, Captain.
Near proudly striding smartly dressed with a great granddaughter of a sandwich in hand and
bugged grandfather issues, saying that it is, and this is how ...
Decorously suited to light hatches leading into the car. Granddaughter leans
see: that there, they say ... He saw how deeply the bottom scurrying hither and thither
black grubby little men ...
- Father, what are these fellows down there?
- Mechanics and minders - the captain replied.
- And can I have them bread to crumble?
Released a new cologne HARRY POTTER - eliminates the smell of burning and sweat!
Zoo keeper makes daily rounds. Passes cells
monkeys, and suddenly sees that the gorilla is sitting and reading - in one's hand
her Bible in the other - "The Origin of Species Darwin.
He asked in amazement:
- What is it?
Gorilla, melancholy leafing through pages:
- And here I want to understand who I am - his brother's keeper or my brother
Lost Boys with scooters. Distinguishing features: pumped his right leg.
Little Little Johnny does not want to go to sleep. Pope comes to his bedroom
and begins to tell the tale. A half hour talks, hour ... The room
- Well, he fell asleep, finally?
- Dad asleep, asleep! - Little Johnny said softly.
Suitable wife to her husband:
- Dear, I have to wash your shirt new "Tide Ultra whiteness."
Look what it has become snow-white!
- Dura, striped T-shirt was just so much more. - Muttered
Zidane and went to break a contract with Juventus ...
People sign: your finances or to hell, if Visa sends you the form
application for MasterCard.
Chukchi arrives in Moscow for toyete, all so dirty and smelly:
- Oh Chukchi, and where did you Toyota?
- And do not Chukchi, I am from Vladivostok.
Report on the meeting of the government: "In the course of the experiment in
Vladivostok was found that people can do without hot water
year. In order to save the budget was decided to adopt this practice
Tell me, and the car - he or she?
- How to tell when traveling, you know - HE CAR!, And when
breaks, it's definitely SHE - BITCH!
Hab was in the Czech brewer. Suppliers of deceiving customers rudely.
Hops beets easily substituted, and the malt used to clean under
savings. Not only that, but looking below, the finished beer reptile water
bodyazhil. Acquired it notoriety not only in his native village, but also
throughout the Czech Republic, which called him velkopopovitsky goat.
You do it the first time ...
Very scary ...
Trembling, his eyes did not tear ...
That takes up ...
Leans to you ...
Feel the pain ...
Everything is finished, you first did it ...
How to make a proposal:
- Honey, I always thought our relationship kind of marriage ...
If in Tambov, a monument of the Wolf, in Kazan simply must
erect a monument to Sirota.
How is the clown from Bush? - However, that first understood that he says
- Holmes, have you read the latest news in the Times? Can you imagine
that our soldiers in Iraq will soon be only silk panties!
It turns out they are much more convenient and practical!
- Of course, my dear Watson! But the most important thing in the news, you will agree, this is
that of silk underwear dries quickly. Because the war in Iraq only
RBC - the fall of 2005, China plans to launch a new space
manned spacecraft. On board will be two astronaut ...
At ISS waiting illegal immigrants.
Anecdote from Estonia
They come as something of a village Estonian and Latvian, notice that the road most
pig's head stuck in the fence and can not get out. Estonians
decides not to waste time and take this moment, removes shatny and has
pig. A few minutes later he contented, pants suits and appeals
to the Latvians:
- Well, now your turn.
Latvian slowly takes off his pants and puts his head in the fence.
She did not even know that I was her first ....
Two friends meet one another:
- Well as you your new one?
- Well, okay, but something worse?
- Th you do not understand: I ask something worse??
- Is you do not understand, I say the same: H. For
Pinocchio liked to be in nature, and kebabs ...
But always, the end of the wood - he jumped into the river and shouted
"I'm raw, I'm raw !...."...
Agree that it is better to have a polka-dot pants than peas in shorts!
Late at night she goes from a guy.
- Be careful, now on the street is full of hooligans.
If they bother - just yell. Okay?
Leaves. Five minutes later, the cries from the street:
- Good! Good! Ho-ro-sho-oh!
"Buy 1-room apartment (1 floor, lattice windows, steel door).
Contact: Detention Facility, the camera number 8. "
Among the prisoners was a competition initiative. Mikhail Khodorkovsky
sang "I'm engulfed Putin's dangerous ..."
Mark Halperin www.xaxaxa.ru
- Vasya, and what you have all pans without handles?
- And me, Fyodor, the wife of tennis player!
Call of GDP. On the wire - Tarpishchev.
- Vladimir Vladimirovich, Dementieva and Myskina reached the final
Roland Gaross! Now the Cup will surely be with us!
- Shamil, and Roland Gaross "- and indeed, cool?
- Really, Vladimir Vladimirovich!
- Well, thank you!
It is the head of administration.
- Call Barvikha quickly, and tell that old fart that I
finally he could no longer MUST!
Because more than anything else was interested in his own person, he
decided to study entomology.
Father talks to his son:
- My boy, when you grow up, I hope you'll be dzhintelmenom!
- I do not want to be a gentleman, papa. I want to be around like
A man came home from a trip a day early. House finds
Half-naked wife and the guy in shorts.
- Well? - Asked the husband. - Now tell me that the tram is
- No, - looking down, man is responsible.
- Maybe you're our new plumber?
- Maybe you parachutist, and you wind drifted on to the balcony?
- And who are you?
- I am a lover of your wife.
- Thank God! And then your predecessors me with their boundless imagination
Enough is enough!!
In chemistry class, our teacher mixed blue liquid with red and
got green. We thought that it was a witch and burned her.
I want you ...
Ask you're gay ....
Pencil not take it? ...
- Girl, you motorist?
- And the eyes you look in different directions - this type of turn signals?
Proposal to the Government of the people: for Russians to establish a floating
schedule of the working week with the transfer of weekends and holidays only
on a dry sunny weather.
According to Russia's national team head coach G. Yartsev, he found a way
avoid ricochets, which would lead to Golam to our gate. This
way - to make a central defender Dmitri Bulykin. It assured
head coach of our team: "From him the ball into the goal just will not fall."
Putin introduced the surplus-appropriation: Vekselberg delivers the eggs, the banker Pugachev deals
golden goose. All others sit just greens.
There are two:
- You heard Senkevich fired Parfyonov with NTV?
- When dealing with a proctologist, not surprisingly, that everything is done
through the ass ...