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Sick suhomyatka? - Noodles BushIrak! For all ears!
Wife to her husband:
- You're fishing for a long time?
- No, Vitek only took two bottles.
Two elements that are most common in the universe:
hydrogen and stupidity.
I am already obpilsya tea, tobacco obkurilsya, three papers read on
pornsites walked twice dined ... and the working day is not all
Announcement: If you think that we deserve earnings of $ 500 per day
send your resume to our address. And then we somehow boring.
This KVN-we start the 20 th century had to do in his life three things:
1. Have a good joke.
2. Find your image.
3. Joke about Maslyakova.
This KVN-we start the 21 st century must be done in his life three things:
1. Voice a good joke.
2. Find a sponsor.
3. Lick a Maslyakova.
Putin sees off the football team, runs along a number of players,
each hand shakes. Suitable for right-back, and arm behind his back
- I am afraid, brother, you bite me ... I know these human rights activists ...
Secretary of Putin: "No, no, our president does not take money. Well, sometimes people
for goodness of his heart will bring - who hen who testicles ... So, who's there
next? Vekselberg! Come on! "
Businessmen and investors after the speech, Putin decided to hold a demonstration
under the slogan "Thank you mother for Putin reinforced solder!
- Have you heard? Russian prosecutors swept the epidemic of new disease --
- How is it?
- How to look for a pack of green, so then do not see anything!
But if you look, the sonorous definition of "bisexual"
merely means "polupidor."
My memory is tenacious, the will of iron, nerves of rope, and a sharp tongue.
So, if anything, catching, deafened, povyazhu and less often!
Let's drink to the fact that our life was a zebra albino!
Should a student, quite drunk on the street - pours.
I pass a woman aged about 40, well dressed,
- A young man ... Shame on you ... but, though - let
- I do not smoke, do not drink, do not swear obscenities!
(It took 2 seconds) - A whore! Again he dropped a cigarette butt into the beer!: (
One boy was very ugly, well so ugly that
when he played in the sandbox the cat tried to bury.
In this heat better fucking cool women.
Everyone who bought in our store model railway
receive a gift figurine of Anna Karenina on a scale 1-43
That said, what I really like the message: "99% complete.
Ho only the first half hour ...
Around Smeha.ru "- vokrugsmeha.ru
The morning with a steep hung over his father grimly watching his daughter with an appetite
- And how is all in your climbing?
- Well, yesterday I did not drink!
- Do not drink! To now make fun of my father!
Only after the wedding, you understand - thought sadly Nastenka, pulling in
Red flower withered hands, - that kiss a vicious Prince
but still have to live with the monster!
Beauty contest in hermaphrodites: "The most it.
Caught the Germans captured an American, French and Russian. They locked them in
Russian says - "Let's see ..." He was interrupted by an American and
continues - "Right, let's see how to get out of here."
Russian says - "Oh no, we must realize ..." The Frenchman interrupted - "Yes,
must figure out how to get to his "Russian again -" No,
Let's see in three.
Last Day of Pompeii take the day off.
Amateur gardeners to note: only 2 kg of uranium, buried in your
plot to rid you from the harmful rodents, ants and other
Interestingly, the elder Bush brought up her son, or did the tree planted?
Lost bag of RDX, a detonator imported.
Finder: Allah Akbar!
News. Russia's scientists are preparing to fly to the International
Space Station (ISS), newts, crayfish, worms and snails.
Tarakanov decided not to send, as
1) they are already there from the first day;
2) regularly fly back to Earth on the Soyuz transport ship,
".. Each time they fly the new variety" - note
Draft annual address of President Putin:
"We need to improve the Russian businessmen and investors:
improved lighting and ventilation chambers, allow stall and additional
Finally today I was able to rest and relax in the moral,
intellectual, physical, sexual and any other sense of
words - vacation is over, and I again went to work.
Turning on the street is not the light, you risk just to get on that.
There are two men at the bus stop and asked one another: here do not
understand, but what's the point in the hookah? Other answers - yes, in principle,
no, so, hold, suck ...
As Soviet buyer to satisfy their basic needs?
HUMANIST: through GUM ...
Queer: through the anus conventional stores ...
Onanist: potrutsya - potrutsya the empty shelves ...
Rogozin and his eyes suggested that its development program, Russian roads:
"To take away, share, and double!"
Must be divided along every road, mid-line, and each half
considered a separate path. Then the total length of roads in Russia immediately
Yes, but what must be taking away? Well, as always - Yukos, Khodorkovsky.
- And now, Stirlitz, listen to me, do not interrupt!
"Nothing, yet slay you all, reptiles, until May 9! "- Thought Stirlitz.
- So, here - the piano! ... Even more piano!
From the orchestra pit:
- Yes, much drunker something? And since half of the orchestra vdrabadan!
There are two friends. One asks:
- Why are you so worried?
- Oh, do not ask! Today the guests descend! And I have no
entertainment program there. Well damn it with Vaska, well, ass show.
And what is more visitors to take - I can not guess!
- Hello Have not seen each other. Good looks - a figure, clothing,
machine! .. Is the money to pay the normal nuclear specialists have?
- No, I am now elite brides and grooms meet ...
- You Th, matchmaker?!
- Razvodnaya! Specialist mating dogs.
In Armenian Radio was asked: Why in-law did not go to Heaven?
Answer: Because dragons above a hundred yards do not rise.
For reasons already told ...
Whether it easier and people to reach for you. And if you stand on Tverskaya Street, then otboyu
Czech kontrazvedchiki argue that the Embassy of Russia in Prague
half-staffed by spies. MFA of Russia and Foreign Intelligence Service
issued a joint statement that this is a slander on the second half
With the accession of Latvia to NATO, the alliance increased by Latvian
Naval Flesh and the Latvian Military kite.
In honor of the inauguration of the president appointed the fireworks from thirty Manege.
During the control whispers Sasha neighbor on my desk:
- Classroom parrot at our new teacher!
- Sasha, do not whisper, Kohl himself knows everything.
Question in the conference:
- Vibration at speeds of 250 to Sierre1, 8. What is it?
- Point plays.
In the confession to the priest came to beauty with a deep neckline.
The priest looks at neckline and repeats: "Oh, God!"
From the heavens came a voice:
"Well, finally you called me on that worth a look!"
Americans are wondering - what to call the combined armed forces of Lithuania,
Latvia and Estonia. Whether as a consolidated company, whether as a
Said that aggression - it is not misspent sexual energy.
So look for Bush at last, Monica Lewinsky!
The Chief of Chukotka, Abramovich decided to buy from America, Alaska, and call it