Latest jokes | Random jokes | Top jokes

New best jokes, funniest anecdotes

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50
Five o'clock in the morning. In the dark alleys waiting for passers-by began
Gopnik, "larks".

Whack
Joke #17887 —  
 
0
 
The fact that the goat-footed, and one cat breed - pure coincidence, but the fact
they both goats - the natural result of years of effort by the national
director.

Yunnatov-michyurinets
Joke #17886 —  
 
0
 
You Gella not guilty. He prishol.

Your Vovochka
Joke #17884 —  
 
0
 
A ball-it was with caviar!

Postman Pechkin
Joke #17883 —  
 
0
 
Year Moo-Moo comes ...

Gerasim
Joke #17882 —  
 
0
 
To The Royal hysterical justice, now and forever
call-center operation jam constipated Center.

Head Gibbdonov pm
Joke #17881 —  
 
0
 
According to social survey - 80% of Ukrainians in the New Year's Eve
After greeting their President, would like to see direct
broadcast from Gazprom to turn off gas supply from old Europe.
The remaining 20% of Ukrainians prefer to vote for Yanukovych.
Joke #17880 —  
 
0
 
In Moscow, met the Minister of Fuel and Energy of Russia - Ukrainian
Khristenko and his Ukrainian counterpart Plachkov (Russian). I. .. not
agreed.
Khristenko: Well, pancake, these Ukrainians ...
Plachkov: Here's what these Muscovites ...

www.censor.net.ua
Joke #17879 —  
 
0
 
Since the off gas to Ukraine, the value and obtaining
fun, overshadowing even the Russians to attack the New 2006
Government of Russia in 2005 extended to ten hours.

www.censor.net.ua
Joke #17878 —  
 
0
 
The leader of the Bloc "Pora-PRP" boxer Vitali Klitschko also sent to Moscow.
Beat Ukraine's gas ... Of Judo ...

www.censor.net.ua
Joke #17877 —  
 
0
 
It is easier to say "Assistant rotator child carousel? -> Co-rotational
young
Joke #17876 —  
 
0
 
From personal experience ...

Gunn Citrus invented a way to restore the original color on
old monitors. It turns out, simply fill scanner
fresh ink, and the process of flowing colors on the screen to normal
itself.

www.tata-minisoft.de.ms
Joke #17875 —  
 
0
 
Up telegraph pole crawling snail.
Towards - another.
First:
- What's new?
Second:
- I do not know, the third day of crawling ...
Joke #17873 —  
 
0
 
A crow sits on a tree and keeps a piece of cheese.
Runs the fox:
- You have a voice, a voice! Sing, Voronushka!
Raven opens his mouth, croak. Cheese falls down.
Fox rises on its hind legs to his words.
But cheese, they reached, begins to rise up!
Fox in mortality ...
Crow:
- LRA yo-yo, you fool!
Joke #17872 —  
 
0
 
Curious observation:
It suddenly gives way to the mood of each other, if we add to the detail
description of their amorous adventures with a pretty special by the fact that
it - his sister ...

March Cat
Joke #17871 —  
 
0
 
And you Brutus! And you Brutus, Brutus, and you, and you, and you, and you too, Brutus!
And all you brute!
Joke #17868 —  
 
0
 
Ukraine hold on! At 22, Russia held out.
Yusch - Step on Bush! Would give credit.
Yekhanurov - Bear Cossack! Already heat. And soon the summer.
Putin - On YAT. So zherzhat!
-------------------------------------------------- ---------------------
Ukraine offered to buy 50% of Russia's external debt of the USSR
(agency puk.ru)
Joke #17867 —  
 
0
 
Want to come up with an anecdote, but do not know how? Remember the famous or
Create your phrase with the word "gas" and all!

"The smell of gas - is the smell of blood!"
"Feeling the smell of gas, type it a lot more light and keep in
plastic kulechke ... "
"Gas to failure, with one foot in paradise!"
"Because the statute of Ukrainian troops seized command" Gas! "
"Russia calls for re-export of cars GAZ to their historical homeland!"
"An explosion in the Gaza Strip?"
....

Res
Joke #17866 —  
 
0
 
The best present users on New Year:
Two-in-one!
Vypryamlyatel vinyl hands and zagibatel direct convolutions!

(C) DJ $ ergeich
Joke #17865 —  
 
0
 
For anticipated future services to the thawing frostbite Ukraine
President Yushchenko issued a decree awarded Maidan Nezalezhnosti name
Turkmen-Bashi. To celebrate this milestone event for Nezalezhnosti
100-meter monument Nezalezhnosti replaced by a statue of Turkmen-Bashi
height of 200 meters. State language of Ukraine is introduced
Turkmenistan - a far more distant from the Russian than Ukrainian. Alphabet
languages - English, with a Texas accent.

Thank Turkmen-Bashi! Sche ne vmerla Ukraine! Allah akbar!
Joke #17864 —  
 
0
 
The Polish Museum of History is offering several new services:
Spit on the flag of the USSR - 10 oz. W. e.
Tread flag of the USSR - 20 oz. W. e.
Tread dirty flag of the USSR (very!) Boots - 50 y. W. e.
Fill the employee's face, the erasure flag of the USSR - 100 in. W. e. + expense of
Trauma
Joke #17863 —  
 
0
 
New Year's rally from a dental clinic "Chanson":
Postvte two fixes - and you as a gift 5 packs of tea.
Joke #17862 —  
 
0
 
difference of almost $ 200, Ukraine quickly make up for the summer months for
in the Crimea.
Joke #17861 —  
 
0
 
Advertising shop:
"We Cover!"
Joke #17860 —  
 
0
 
Now, thanks to adaptation of Bulgakov's novel "The Master and Margarita, all
audience know that Judas hanged himself, and stabbed him, and mzda for
betrayal was not 30 pieces of silver, but only 30 tetradrachmas.
Joke #17859 —  
 
0
 
Dogs of all countries, unite! In honor of the coming year on the dogs
Red Square is set pole friendship friends man. Now each
walk near the dog may note here as a sign of international
dog solidarity.
Joke #17858 —  
 
0
 
2 o'clock. A knock at the door. In the hallway slips worried head
Santa Claus:
- Snow Maiden not seen?
- No, not seen!
- That bitch! Again, somewhere fucking!
Joke #17857 —  
 
0
 
Footballer of Russia looking for work. In.team offer. (Vasil Lucas)
Joke #17856 —  
 
0
 
The wives of seafarers on New Year's cook their husbands' horns are nautically.
(Vasil Lucas)
Joke #17855 —  
 
0
 
Gays and lesbians, transvestites and strippers, a woman who still
sings, her daughter, their former husbands and lovers true, and grandmother
grandson - look at NTV transfer of "Song of the Year"! (Vasil Lucas)
Joke #17854 —  
 
0
 
The Institute fucked - Report
At work, fuck - Deadline
Home crawled, fell, well, I think, even now rest ...
But no - and then fucked!
Joke #17852 —  
 
0
 
In Korea, every year or year of the dog!
Joke #17851 —  
 
0
 
There is fucking whip, followed by a member of the hunchback. Beach said a member of:
- Hey member, Th broken
- Yes
- And Th humpbacked
- Because it broke off!
Joke #17850 —  
 
0
 
But first smile - it KOLOBOK!
Joke #17849 —  
 
0
 
-Girl, can I have your phone, I lost my ...
Joke #17848 —  
 
0
 
Germany formally appoints President Bush's new Hitler years. He
receives German cap and a certificate for one hundred dollars in the bistros
"Wienershpritzel"
Joke #17847 —  
 
0
 
Everyone knows that the best method of education is a personal example.
And as we all know how difficult the evening after putting the children to sleep.
To do this, and was invented by the transfer of "Good night, kids!"
Question:
Why, wishing the children good night, Oksana did not undress and lies
to bed with Piggy and Stepashko ??!!!
Joke #17846 —  
 
0
 
At the request of the Government of Russia mayor of New York raises the price of gas
all Ukrainian citizens of New York.

Zhenya jen_boy@yahoo.com
Joke #17845 —  
 
0
 
The new meaning of the word preobreli Okean Elzy "I will not surrender bez battle."

Zhenya jen_boy@yahoo.com
Joke #17844 —  
 
0
 
1. Choose day of the week in which you would like to make love.
2. Multiply this number by 50.
3. Add to the result of 44.
4. Multiply by 200.
5. If this year you have already had a birthday, add 105, if not --
Add 104.
6. Last step: from the result that you have, you deduct the year
your birth. You should get a total of 5 digits.
So: The first 5 digits should indicate the day of the week, in which you
I would like to make love, right?
But it's not all! Recent figures indicate your age, right?
But it gets even better! The second and third digits indicate the ... The position
which you love to do it!!
This is a mathematical mosaic works only this year.
Joke #17843 —  
 
0
 
Desert, hot, hot wind carries the hot sand, burning sun
kills all living things. Exhausted man crawling on the sand dunes and whispers:
"Sguschooonki!"
Joke #17842 —  
 
0
 
Yesterday there was an unprecedented experiment in one of the Kiev market under
direction of the Director Yushchenko. Buyers do not take goods prices
sellers, and at prices that are assigned themselves. Especially good was going fat.
Three times cheaper than it was three times sweeter. For those who cheapen
fat five times the fat sweetness equaled the jam. Many people
smashed his head and took it for nothing, like brothers.
At the same time buyers in every way abused sellers. Called them klyatymi
Moskal, occupiers and bloodsuckers. Happy sellers promised
bring products more ...
Joke #17841 —  
 
0
 
Now, with the beginning of the gas war between Russia and Ukraine "became
the name those whom Putin called "the year of missed opportunities."

www.censor.net.ua
Joke #17840 —  
 
0
 
Kreml.31 December. 23.59. The end of New Year greetings to Putin:
Especially I want to warmly congratulate Ukrainians. But this is - ten hours
the channel RTR.

www.censor.net.ua
Joke #17839 —  
 
0
 
Quote from Victor Tsoi KF "Needle": "People are divided into two categories: one
sit on the tube, while others need the money. "

www.censor.net.ua
Joke #17838 —  
 
0
 
Russia. January 1, 2006. 09-57. For all central channels is
anthem, show the Kremlin, waving flags. Announcer solemnly
voice announces: "We are starting a live broadcast from Gazprom to the closure
Gas valves Ukraine. "show the central office of Gazprom,
there is a lot of people are visible, even the clergy, has
solemn patriotic music. Something solemn says
announcer. They show a group of some people in expensive suits, as well as
clock with second hand. Remains a few seconds to 10-00. One
man in an expensive suit, goes to the big red button. Exactly
at 10-00, he pushes her. All participants begin to clap.
Applause turned into applause. Everyone congratulate each
other. Again, playing solemn music, show the office of Gazprom
distance, then again the Kremlin, flags, temples. All solemn and beautiful.
During the day, all the news begins with this story in different
angles. The country felt the atmosphere of the festival, more than just
1 January. Protvrezvlyayuschiysya and pohmelyayuschiysya people happy, satisfied, and there
opportunity to continue the celebration ...
Joke #17837 —  
 
0
 
A Cock-year will be Dog
Joke #17836 —  
 
0
 
Muzhskaya logic:
- If a woman argues, means fool.
- If a woman argue, and it turns right, fool twice.
- If a woman still be able to prove its case - it is a complete idiot!

Therefore, it is better to go with friends to drink beer. Then the vodka. Then on
football. Then more beer and vodka.
After all this want of something to argue. The best way to fool.
Only with that which is not disputed.
Joke #17835 —  
 
0
 
Moscow Mayor's Office decided not to rest on our laurels and beyond
holiday road closures every resident of the city will still be delivered
gift enema
Joke #17834 —  
 
0
 
Confectionery incarnation of "The Master and Margarita":
Bean "M_ & M_ * s - sweet couple!
Joke #17833 —  
 
0
 
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311