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What Zenith is similar to Chelsea? White-blue form. What Zenit differs from Chelsea? Decline form. Zenit in recession loses 0:1, Chelsea in recession wins only 1:0.
Joke #18198 —  
 
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World Health Organization identified the symptoms of avian influenza: 1. high temparatura 2. runny nose and cough 3. ache in the bones 4. uncontrollable desire to give a shit to someone on the ledge ... sent Simochka
Joke #18197 —  
 
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Complete sentence of five verbs, punctuation and conjunctions.

Decided to send to go buy a drink.
Joke #18196 —  
 
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- Swine! Again yesterday, booze, and me his obblevanny tie - at, Mol, wash! Their smelly socks forever vanities. Last week some woman pinned all night of rest did not give ... - Action! - Hello, I'm - first talking washing machine Indesit ...
Joke #18195 —  
 
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Toothless justice can only suck.
Joke #18194 —  
 
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- Worse than not when a woman boss .. - And what is it? - Yes that's laid off from work .. - For what? - For not domoganie ..
Joke #18193 —  
 
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In the traditional conversation over a beer friends tell someone how tenderly calls his pious. One of them is a long pause, and then thoughtfully said: "I call her tomahawk." All stared with amazement at the him, then someone tried to joke: "Why not Boomerang?". Yes because her name is Tom, and she constantly bark! "
Joke #18192 —  
 
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- Girl, but you would not be able to help me sperm samples? - Not a problem ... Once the spit. Fela
Joke #18191 —  
 
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Morning. By only opened Brasserie, unsteadily roams peasant, thirsty hangover. Rummaging hand in his pocket, trying to determine whether he have enough money to at least one mug of beer. Comes into pub, and hears: - Vasek! ... Vasek! Turning sees a table, all covered with mugs of beer, followed by are his pals. Suits, stretching out his mug: - Come on, urine! He drinks, transformed ... On the face comes through the bliss ... He gets crumpled pack of Prima, lights: - Good! ... And what men can sing? - A Th, come on. What's going to sing something? - Let's sing a song about skedaddle! - About what? About Afghanistan? .. Okay, you're being dragged out and we picked up. Vasek nods and delays: - And Homeland scheeeee ... IR ... DRA fed me ...
Joke #18190 —  
 
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Scientists have long puzzled over the question - from what umeraet swan Saint-Saens, until I realized that this bird flu.
Joke #18189 —  
 
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Bush was furious to learn that the whole world uses Arabic numerals.
Joke #18188 —  
 
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Moishe married to Sarah, comes to the bar and tells his friends: - Oh, guys, I met a woman, just a dream, beautiful! - Oh, congratulations, and pictures, you can see? - Of course, that - Ooooh so terrible we have not seen, and say pretty ....... - You do not understand, I'm talking about inner beauty! - Listen, Moishe, well, you'd even turned it would seem that there ...........
Joke #18187 —  
 
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They talk three kid: the son of a rabbi, a priest's son and the son of the owner McDonald.

The son of a rabbi says: "My father - a rabbi. When he goes to Brooklyn, all saying: "Teacher, teacher ...""

Son of the priest said: "Just imagine!" That's my father - a priest. All turned to him and say: "Holy Father!"

"What's that!" - The son of the owner of McDonald's. - That's my mom weighs entire 650 pounds! "" So what? "- ask friends." How's that! All, who neither look at her, saying: "Oh my God!"
Joke #18186 —  
 
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On the fence was written. The word "Peace". With three errors.
Joke #18185 —  
 
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Today, the Moscow city government in full force flies to Paris. Will explore effective ways to combat incorrectly parked vehicles.
Joke #18184 —  
 
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Once the frog is kissed Ivan Tsarevich - nor any effect, the two kissed frog Ivan Tsarevich - nor any effect, surprised, turned up feet and read on the belly: "Made in China". (C) Robie
Joke #18182 —  
 
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A woman tired of her husband binges. I decided to sober him electric shocks. At the trial. Judge: - You filed for divorce due to abuse his wife to you? Husband: - No, I just first saw her with sober eyes.
Joke #18181 —  
 
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Chukchi Sat for an HIV test. Follows the result. The doctor says: "While result otritsatelgy, but you go through 3 months. " Chukchi Returned to the tent, sad. He asked: - Well? - Zavalii test after 3 months the re.
Joke #18180 —  
 
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Drink the poison, scum! Ugh, I should say - drink a decoction of herbs.
Joke #18179 —  
 
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What distinguishes the head from the sun? In between eclipses of the sun have breaks.
Joke #18178 —  
 
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An avid collector, invited his friend, captain, see a new acquisition - now Aivazovsky. - You see what the waves, a riot of poems! - This is a fake. You cheated. - How did you get that idea? - From this Ayvazovski I always feel sick. Mitka Golopupkin
Joke #18177 —  
 
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Great and mighty Russian language, and rhyme to the word STAR is always in my head climbs one and the same ...
Joke #18176 —  
 
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In chat: - Vasya, as you term it? - Yes, but what? - And here, I do not say that I am - impotent, because I do not member is ... - And I'm writing what I help you? - Give to download!
Joke #18175 —  
 
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Distance - a thing not physical, but metaphysical. Kilometers to store bread - far away, but for the second bubble - a stone's throw.
Joke #18174 —  
 
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The cafe is something the company said the students. At some point between the two drunken young people dispute arises. One of them, boasting of their successes in the girls, said: - Yes, if I made an offer to Putin's daughter, even she would tell me "Yes!". Another objection: - She like you - hundreds! You can not doubt, she will tell you "No!". The friends offer them to bet. Watched this scene waiter says to his buddy: - Judging by the way her father is in talks with the Japanese on "northern territories", they both lose.
Joke #18173 —  
 
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The phrases that men like to hear:

- Sorry, I was wrong! - Do not worry, I can cope with all three: I have a black belt in karate. - Darling, you sure have drank enough? - I have not talked too much? - I'm going in FIG! - I decided today to walk home naked. - We are friends you have prepared a little surprise. Girls Undress! - My sister wants to sleep with us. You do not mind if she lies with us? - I briefly outside the house whitewash. - What do I do this in order to make amends? - For parents, I'll go myself, but you still come down with friends at a strip ... - Do not you must now sit with friends in the boozer? - I was so excited when you're drunk ... - Tonight, I need only shameless, debauched sex. - Look, I earn well. Why do you work? Better to teach poker.
Joke #18172 —  
 
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Correspondent asked the famous boxers: - They say that in his spare time are you fond of chess. Does the is the main way of your classes? - And how. Just yesterday I spent a simultaneous boxing on ten rings, and the blind.
Joke #18171 —  
 
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Announcement. Restore justice in photographs.
Joke #18170 —  
 
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Abraham and Sarah's lying in bed, Sarah zaigryvet with Abram, trying rouse him: - Abram, and Abram, see what I have! - What? - Abram asked half asleep. - Gender gap - coyly responds Sara. - Fool! shut your fucking her soon! but then I think the location is blowing! Amnon
Joke #18169 —  
 
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Today, the tennis champion of Berlin Max Otto Stirlitz lost shutout. Chinese tennis player MAT Hui recently no one loses.
Joke #18168 —  
 
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There is a peasant on the road. Dark, late, looks - someone is lying, whether drunk, or sick. Coming closer - and then the green man alien lies. Here are thinking of doing! ... Well, he let it gently push: - Hey, dude! What's the matter? wake up! He regained consciousness and opened his big green eyes: - Where am I? - To impart aliens'! You're on Earth, dude! - Yes? and x @ I doing here?
Joke #18167 —  
 
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Triple "J" our agriculture: case, gniezh and ukradezh.
Joke #18166 —  
 
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The lesson the son of the new Russian asking: - How much is two plus two? - Four! - A family of nine? - Something you have to ask too many questions!
Joke #18165 —  
 
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Guy with a girl: - Yesterday was with friends, wanted to have asked for a crust of bread, gave loaf, wanted to drink, asked for a glass of vodka, gave a bottle, wanted blowjob, give your number.
Joke #18164 —  
 
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One friend complains about the other: - You fine! Your guy does not go left! - But where will he? He and right do not be!
Joke #18163 —  
 
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The first class of the conference is flying top management major airline. In the cabin quiet. Each immersed in his thoughts: President of the airline: "We need to quickly organize, the company

to offshore, to swing the bucks go for the non-existent services. In the new year to buy the whole family or there porshiki new Lamborghini. There will be half an hour from

jump of joy. " Chief Accountant: "We must negotiate with the bank to reschedule the payment salaries of the airline, and cut the interest rate. At the end of the year all premium accounts in the amount of annual pay for the savings fund wages, and a mansion on the Canaries. Family day will be joy jump. " Chief Inspector: "We have until the end of the year pilots dressing organize, that kerosene was calculated up to the drop. At the end of the year will get bonus. Buy new Mercy, on New Year's going to bring the family to London in five-star holiday to meet, will be a week to jump for joy. "

At this time the plane sits at the controls the pilot, who was detained salary, which every day compost brains, causing the fly to the last drop of kerosene and thinks: "We need to throw the wheel to hell mother, the entire month, the airline will jump for joy. " www.bestavia.com
Joke #18162 —  
 
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In the restaurant: - Waiter! Why does my coffee smells like dirty male members? Waiter, sniffing the coffee: - Madame, try to take the cup in the other arm.
Joke #18161 —  
 
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Nonsense - this is what had to deal with a guy with a girl before he will of her master.
Joke #18160 —  
 
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Why when I say "Love is evil, love and the goat, people perceive it calmly, and when the "Shallow Hal, love and a sheep" - that is somehow a suspicion?
Joke #18159 —  
 
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People - a lot of people, and the crowd - none.
Joke #18158 —  
 
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King - father, as president - national boss.
Joke #18157 —  
 
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Bush decided to find out they will think of it descendants. Top American physicists gathered to him a time machine, and he tugged at 300 years future. Immediately to the library, offers an encyclopedia, reads: "George Bush - the only U.S. president to visit Mongolia. (C) Robie
Joke #18156 —  
 
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- Was in Europe. What sort of cultural people! If the dog makes a mess on the street The owner of it all matches. - It's that! Here we even have a dog culture. If the landlord makes a mess on street, the dog followed him eat of it all!
Joke #18155 —  
 
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Freedom of the market in Russia differs little from the freedom of waste.
Joke #18154 —  
 
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In connection with the disproportionate length of quarters in the academic year, teacher of mathematics, Distinguished Teacher of Russia, offered to split academic year of 3 quarters.
Joke #18153 —  
 
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Shoto I can not understand why the Ukraine immediately mark the anniversary pomeranchevoj revolution, and 9 days and 40 days?
Joke #18152 —  
 
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In the subway car is composed of two boozy passenger, gently supporting each bridesmaid.

The first passenger: A Th-ta for prazzzznik Sedna? Second passenger: Mi ... hic ... iiinin won Pppp pozharsssss ... ... ... Skog Third passenger: (waking up) Sessions ... with some account?
Joke #18151 —  
 
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The three things you can watch forever: on fire, water, and as a blonde parks ...
Joke #18150 —  
 
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Guy on reception at namely a sexologist: - Doctor, my wife's strange reaction to an orgasm ... - Do not worry, many women in this time of groaning, shouting, scratched, some even Kusa ... - Here I am about the same, the doctor, but mine just swallowed and somehow offended looks at me.
Joke #18149 —  
 
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Moscow ornithologists have discovered that in contrast to the forest birds, which wake up an hour before sunrise - the city wake up an hour before the opening of the subway. OFF
Joke #18148 —  
 
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