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Development Program of Ukraine's new government:
"To sell something unnecessary, one must first re-privatize
something right "(c) Buttermilk.
If a girl from Moscow, requires you to produce a red Ferrari,
reduce it to a Japanese restaurant, say a few words about poetry - and it
If a girl from St. Petersburg, requires you to produce a red Ferrari,
reduce it to a Japanese restaurant, said that all Muscovites idiot - and it
If a girl from Voronezh, it's yours.
If a girl from Nizhnevartovsk, requires you to drink a liter of vodka with
her father, survive the next day, a wedding for 800 people, and you will
red Ferrari factory sushi in Sochi and the girls from
Moscow, St. Petersburg and Voronezh.
(c) KVN team "Burnt by the Sun"
German scientists have created antiviagru for a quiet and thoughtful views
A guy comes to the doctor and says:
- Doctor, I sprained my leg.
The doctor says:
- So what, who does not happen.
- Do you think it is easy for a 4-meter leg to pull?
One other did not, as they say good dancers.
Question to the girl: "You'll give or not give?" you're just beginning the idea of
two possible answers.
- My father on his birthday, so get drunk, that when brought
pie, began to blow on the unlit candles ...
- Well, this does not have to be drunk.
- You wait, but I'm telling you, he did get drunk ... Gust, and candles
In the jungle discovered advanced chameleon - 65000 colors and polyphony.
- The boy and whom you want to be when you grow up? Probably
- Well, if only astronaut-tourists!
U.S. scientists warn: Bruce Willis is getting older and the Earth again
is exposed to asteroids.
Why, if the West in the office burst masked men with assault rifles --
this is a robbery, but we have - riot?
Chuzhoi we do not need, but we'll take his, whose would it might be.
Policeman complains about the doctor, they say, my head aches constantly, mood
bad in the family scandals, from drinking is not fun ... The doctor and his
- That you need a therapist. He has to be necessarily openly
to talk to during the interview all the most secret shameful things
opened. The main thing - to all without reserve. This method is such that it is very
A week later, asking ment - as well, we got the straight talk
with the therapist?
A cop said:
- Get nishtyak. First, though, he is not a very talkative
was. Well, I gave him a couple of times in the kidneys, so he immediately confessed that his wife
change and daughter in the institute added a pull.
Haste is needed in the fucking fleas and when catching someone else's wife ...
- I'm pretty girls prefer clever.
- So do you like to fuck the brains?
- Girl! It is not you cowards lose?
- Ham! I do not wear shorts!
Stock in McDonald's! Buy MakChiken and avian influenza will receive free!
U.S. fully confident of victory in the upcoming Olympics
because participation in them has been prepared than ever a strong team
Yes, Russia has two misfortunes. The first - the road, and with them you can do something.
And the second disaster can not help it, she has a 60% rating ...
According to gazeta.ru, over Moscow in the air, blew up the plane TU-156,
carrying more than 100 tons of confiscated cocaine.
Friends! Rather the street! It's not snow!
If you remember, tell an anecdote about a sclerosis.
In the football team captain changes, and the team was running all matches
win. Former captain thinks what's the matter? Yet those same players
most. He called the new captain, and said - explained: why such
- Yes it is very simple. Have you had before the match referee asked the coin
to cast lots?
- I asked.
- Are you gave him?
- Well I do not know dime.
- I'm a hundred bucks.
Beer Old Myl'nikov. Even more foam ...
There are two, one:
- My mother-in-law underwear hanging out and fell down from the balcony.
- Joy of a kind.
- Yes you Th! That you would be happy, and I have grief. You're in the sixth,
and I was on the first floor living.
Pessimist - it was good. An informed optimist.
- In our sports shop is always a great choice of golf clubs and
- Why just a mop and clubs? Suddenly it will be young and
Pretty girls ...
Politically correct name of the Negro in Ukrainian - Afro-Dita.
In St. Petersburg developed a vaccine against avian flu. For her
tests conducted recruitment of volunteers that are willing to spend birds.
This year's New Year in America is canceled ... Santa Claus was denied a visa!
- Have you noticed that Putin is the clock on the right hand?
- Of course! I think that he can justly be proud of it!
- Well, of course! First, he does not hide that I did it myself. Secondly,
ready personally responsible for the consequences. Thirdly, from this
no one was worse. You can still remember at least one such
for all time of his presidency?!
I stand before you select what to take - the old miller vs Bochkarev. They stand
roughly the same. Use mainly plan the evening, in the city,
or outdoors. Less in the mornings at home. I am not a professional, taking for himself
therefore supporters only draft Varshteynerov and Guinness, please
choice is not to criticize - money on them yet, but already very much want to drink,
because it is already more than a month I can not decide.
From the light at Bochkareva plus - more degrees - 5,2 against 4,6 from the miller.
Strongly Does this affect the result? If chase degrees, in principle,
another model miller - "Gold" also gives a 5.2, but I've heard that
expected quality gives degrees, and the number - if this is. Sam yesterday
hold in store, as if the old miller is better in your hand, or
it is only at first and then you get used to anyone? We Bochkareva plus
- Produces branded nuts, although they are hard to find, but never miller
did not do. Do fit nuts of other manufacturers, or better than all
with the same brand?
The professionals of course will talk about a different format ... want
this quality - take just vodka or cognac, but so far I
limited budget. In addition there just for snack should spend a lot,
and accessories - glasses, plates. And it is not always convenient - in the city
for example, would have complicated the intervals should be able to competently display,
In other words noise and then creep out. In general, it is not for beginners.
All forums read reviews everywhere are very different, just confused.
Please speak who really ever uses, and not only saw
or in the hands once held. Are primarily interested in the result.
I have a keyboard - a dead cockroach. Strange ... Why did he die? Food is
he was like ...
Guy with a girl only just met.
It: - And you how much?
He: - How much will you give?
She: - Twenty?
He: - Her ... I have more than five can not.
Symptom maturation: instead of gaming consoles GameBoy prefer
gaming nozzle GameGirl.
Guy fuck a bush stranger:
- Well, now let's get acquainted!
- I did not meet on the street!
In the UK, created its own version of Windows. The main difference - it
off without saying goodbye.
Megaphone: the future of stuck on you ...
- As for the rules of political correctness should be called Nigeria?
The closer to the center, the more expensive prostitutes, especially political.
Five Action Financial arithmetic:
1. Oligarchs like to multiply the money.
2. MPs love to share the money.
3. Officials like to deduct the money.
4. Bankers like to fold the money.
5. And the rest can only delay that from the first
four action remains.
One company has opened a new office. The authorities thought: "someone may it
steal. "And the company hired a watchman.
Then the bosses thought: "How can a guard to act without
instructions? "And the company hired two advisory - one for the development
rules, the second for workshops.
Then the bosses thought: "how will we know if the guard
fulfills its responsibilities? "And the company hired two inspectors - one
for inspections, the second for reporting.
Then the bosses thought: "how we all pay them?" Firms
hired two accountants - one of the accounts, the second for
Then the bosses thought: "Who will be responsible for all this staff?"
And the company hired a director, his deputy, and corporate lawyer.
A year passed. The administration has revised its budget, which perevysil plan
at $ 20,000, and decided that we must cut costs.
And the company laid off guard.
Honeymoon - a loan that has given over the years.
Comes in. woman in a nightclub, and then her husband with a young beauty
kisses, embraces, and all that. Hiding it behind the bar, all in tears,
and then bottle in her gin and three wishes. And the woman said:
- There you see, my husband with a girl, my first desire, that they
retired to the toilet and she was doing him blowjob. Second desire --
When the man utter "AAAAAA", secure feeling that he
will feel at that moment, his whole life.
Those isolate himself, girl does blowjob and gin says:
- And suddenly he "AAAAAA" do not say?
- He would say, for the third wish. Suppose that a hefty man suit
him and with all the foolishness will kick him in the balls.
We do not drink the medicine, we had a snack.
Elite restaurant waiter went to work in RUBOP. His friend
- Well, as you there, the new place?
Former waiter says:
- Yeah. Work clean, customers are the same, and give more tips.
Who comes to us with the ball coming, that laughter and dies. Russia national
- Why is North Korea's e-mail is not working?
- Because there they have eaten all @!
Shampoo, flavor of opium. Your hair is detached from complete.
Sits on a branch of the cuckoo bird flu.
Passes under a tree an aunt with a basket.
- Auntie, Auntie, you do not vet chance? How long will I live
Hillary Clinton could become the U.S. President in 2008!
Male Monica Lewinsky gets a job in the administration of the White House.