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Wife to her husband:
- In the hospital the girl was named in honor of Chubais ...
- ... really Anatoly ????!!!!!!
- No Light!
For the aliens would be a great mistake to land in Russia. They then
not react differently as, "Go away, Squirrel!"
Little Johnny comes in. in a toy shop and asks the seller:
- Please tell us how much is that tiger?
-Five hundred rubles.
Little Johnny took out a hundred rubles toy:
- Then give it to me, please.
- Boy, this money toy!
- But the tiger is also a toy!
- When the Russian occupation to pay compensation for the Baltics?
- When the Tatars in clubbing together with the Mongols being paid off for 300 years of oppression
dismal interest and return the tribute!
From useful tips: salt stains from a garment easily derived red
Two tourists ride in a guided tour bus in Paris. First in Paris
recently. Second traveled the entire length and breadth of France. The first looks at
exotic landscapes, admires, photographs, etc. .. Second --
All of the drum, like, a hundred times already seen.
1-j (enthusiastically): Look, look ... This nigger is ...
2-nd (pofigistichno): So what? It's Paris. Then the Arabs and Blacks as
1: But this, look, live parrot on his shoulder sits!
2 nd: So what? There are many negros on the shoulder parrot ...
1-j (puzzled): Listen, but if there so many blacks, how can they
2 nd: How, how ... The color ... Parrots ...
In the morning the husband complains about his wife:
- Darling! I slept so badly today!
- What are you, in general, know how well do?
Holy Monster (WF)
Nikita Mikhalkov, has decided to continue the series of films, the first of which was
film "Bomb for the chairman, is now in production tape" for Paracha
Khodorkovsky, then the plans, - "Agenda for Mikhail Kasyanov,
"The electric chair for Chubais," Dioxin for Yushchenko, "Orange for
Saakashvili, "Bicycle for Bush", etc.
Holy Monster (NA)
Newlyweds go to the village to the grandmother to spend the honeymoon
month, a young man tells his wife:
- We are borrowing in the village of active life position!
- Yeah, of course: first, renovate an old cottage, wood nakolem, garden
previ, grandmother of water sediment, dig potatoes ...
- Wait! You do not understand me correctly, we will, in general, we will not get out of
bed, day or night!
Holy Monster (WF)
Women, you know! - All men are liars! I lived with her husband 50
years, we have two children, and suddenly the other day I know that my husband is
active member of society "Anonymous impotent"!
Holy Monster (WF)
Jury acquitted Russia's criminal authority Jap.
Jap in the prime of his life, and it can now
nominated candidate for the presidential elections in Russia in 2008 is true, it
can be planted again, but now for the same reasons that
Holy Monster (WF)
Where is the progress? "- Comes on the same rake, that one hundred, two hundred,
hundred years ago!
Holy Monster (WF)
-Girl! Do not play the touchy! Construction material
Holy Monster (WF)
Every day is growing resistance movement in Ukraine. Opponents
President Yushchenko led the unemployed road policemen who attack from
dense thickets of elder uncles, traveling to Kiev and, thus,
Holy Monster (WF)
When Victor Yushchenko went to grade school, one of my classmates poured
him on the head of the Bank of ink. And today finally publicly bully
apologized to the President of Ukraine for their behavior.
Yushchenko will leave in society Saakashvili, and Moses - in society
Continuation of the anecdote of June 19, 2005.
bbn> hung posters all over Kyiv, calling fucked @ Yield-Use, has all
order fuck @ Do ...
Type: We do not have enough players, Nobel laureates, Oscar ...
And forget: The main thing - not the quantity but the quality ...
Just look at the Jews:)
Decree of the President of Ukraine dismissed 23 000 policemen. And on the roads
appeared 23 000 guerrillas who do not give the enemy an orange bear
booth, scrape off markings, blow overpasses - terrible
legacy of the criminal regime of Kuchma.
ROC strongly opposed the prohibition of books about Harry Potter Pope.
The patriarch said that in the first place you want to prevent a trilogy about
Dunno. He also said that in the Moscow seminary created for
Children six volumes of alternative Dunno. Among them, "Dunno, and
prisoners Solovkov "," Dunno, and secret cell ". The publication of the book
"Messiah - half-breed.
The tycoon has denied rumors of a reorientation in the printing business
the decision of the state to monopolize the sale of vodka and tobacco.
Why did not the President of Ukraine Viktor Yanukovych? The person did not come out ... A Yushchenko
- Russia has no weather satellites?
- Hmm, but how do we know the weather?
- From Professor Belyaeva!
Decent office: Ulitsa 1905, Vagankovo, Big Alley
urgently to buy office equipment: coffin, white shoes, black suit,
ribbons for the wreaths.
Russians - world champions in football!
Hurray! The "Penza-Center" for the second time in a row won the title
Champions World Cup in a swamp. The victory was more than 270 teams
from different countries. Team from Penza went to the tournament in the championship
Peace, which won last year at the Finnish bogs. For the first time
eight-year history of these championships in the final two left Russia
team - from St. Petersburg and Penza. "Penza-Center" defended the title
champion, and Petersburger got silver! It can, when we want!
Similarly, you can decide not only the problem of bad football
fields, but also the problem of fools and bad roads in Russia. To do this, all
leave things as they are, and to organize the world championship for fools in
class "Formula 2" on Russia's roads! Watch the advertising!
-Some sort of heaviness in the stomach. It crushes, hinders, distracts, spoils
mood. Activia drink - does not help. Went to the doctor.
- What the doctor said?
- He said that the third month ...
- Where you live? About brothel or a monastery?
- Let us closer to a sin!
alle is our radio?
- Not yours, and ours, the Soros Foundation on the wire
Hydrometeorological Center reported: increased air flows in the direction of Ukraine,
gave an explanation of what is happening Yulia Tymoshenko-Ukrnafta pumping 7.8 billion
cubic meters of air in the pipes with Russia's gas to Europe
A friend came to me from the North. A normal kid, but it hangs a little,
year away from home should be: it starts picking his nose, then more kaku
her to think of the whole must be customized. Temperament in tries in the eternal
Permafrost is like to Estonian. Here govroyu him: "Come quickly,
time to go. To horse! "This body is so lazily replied:" I have those cho horseman
a thread? For horses you. "The reply was fast:" Well, then harness oneself to the sledge,
They met on the narrow forest tripinke on the river bank.
Man and dog.
- Mu-mu - thinking people.
- Sir Henry - thought the dog
For a more complete Conformity statutory purposes methods of implementation
youth movement "Nashi" was renamed to "Putinyugend.
In a match between commands "Sit" and "Fu" team won "FAS".
Miraculously avoiding a lightning strike during ascent of the Carpathians,
President of Ukraine has interpreted this as a sign from above, and dissolved the GAI.
Andrew Smirnoff (aka spear)
Reminder lover of oral sex: Before use
Yesterday, Alex, Boris Moiseev, Sergei Penkin conducted demonstration
competition in non-traditional orientation. In the end, as usual
happens in such cases, the real winner of male friendship.
"And what better Carlson dog?" Thought Little, removing a piece of shit Carlson.
Yushchenko: "The fact that we godfather abandoned spetsnomerov - this is not
occasion to some GAI face ... "
Only the absence of active volcanoes in the Ukraine prevented Yushchenko
implement long-standing dream - to arrange a gathering of many thousands in the crater
before the eruption.
A flock of sheep - that's it on the Maidan, which is Goverle under the hail - everything
With the Internet possibly have fun and not companies - if there is a phone:
dial the telephone provider, listen to his "zzz-zzz" and answer
melodious whistle. If silent opponent hang up after 30 seconds, and
whistle he registers a few minutes.
Announcement on the radio. Warning In Moscow, recorded cases of the appearance
Russian counterfeit Chinese goods. The law enforcement agencies
organized task force to identify counterfeit producers.
"Be brave!" - Said the hare zaychiha. And the family of a rabbit
increased ... --
of slogans in advertising
Did you know that the first thought of using a combination of "HOT" in advertising
MTS does not, but much earlier - Cervantes (also ends with "C") for advertising
his hero: Don Ki-HOT
Yesterday, at the request of one of parlaminta azeatskih countries rasiyskaya fimida
to resolve the issue tiritorialnogo released from custody
Vichisva Ivanko named Yapochik
PS. All names are fictitious, please take all matches
In yesterday's newspaper was a photograph of ancient sculpture.
In the signature under the photograph was made an unfortunate typo. Instead:
Achilles thrust dick in ass Patroclus. "
Achilles withdraws thorn from his foot Patroclus.
Women's Council: to hold on a man, one must at least be able to
manipulate his x $ it.
To significantly increase the budget of Russia, to impose a tax on
sleep $ zhennoe the state property.
Married ... and wages has become not miss twice.
A steep mountain road. On the way to the ass riding Georgians (1G), rear
dragging a woman.
A hundred meters there is another Georgian (2G) and yells to the first:
(2G) - Giiiviii! Where edesh daragoy?? E?
(1G) - In the city going! Yes?
(2G) - Listen, and Cho are you forgotten?
(1G) - The wife of the town I'm taking in the hospital she nada.
(2G) - A Cho with her?
(1G) - Yes rabies in her uterus.
(2G) - What? I can not hear!
(1G) - Rabies uterus talking!!
(2G) - I can not hear!
(1G) - Vanoooo! You pussy you know??
(2G) - Kanechno know !!!!!! Vahh!
(1G) - So pussy crazy !!!!!!!!!!
Comes to the psychiatrist guy. He tightened his fist on the sock. He sits down and
- Doctor, I have a sock on his fist, he prevents me from ...
- Well, clear it, once prevented ...
He takes off a sock and happily nodding:
- Thank you, Doctor ...
And outside the door.
The doctor sits half a minute looks dully at the door. Then not stand
undermined, tearing his shirt and knocking over a table yelling:
- B. ........... Ak !!!!!!! FOR LEE .............. PSIHIIIII!
They sit two lovers. We had not seen for about a month.
- I like you even though times changed?
- Yes ... one ... week.