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Bad is the monster who does not dream to be dead.

(c) Super-Super-Raj
Joke #22075 —  
 
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What about: simple arithmetic: "Home Alone -1" plus "Home Alone 2" is one of three houses.

There is an old variant: One house. Alone Two. Two House Three.

(p) abcdenis
Joke #22074 —  
 
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"The sky, the sky has not seen such a shameful Jedi, like you, Anakin. I deeply grieved "(" Kin-Dza-Dza ", Episode III) ((c)
Joke #22073 —  
 
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Tale of some names: 3. Story with a sad end on how one woman man invited a friend for tea, bought a cake, candy, dressed better, candles lit, a man he soon came - tea drunk ate the candy, the cake refused and went home to his wife, the woman then had a cake for a week eat up, and the doctors it is categorically not recommended, it has been the problem with sugar. 4. The story of a chaste woman who has to brazen proposal men to have sex all answered coldly and abruptly: "Yes!" . Vitaliy Martynov
Joke #22072 —  
 
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- Gogi, but how do you spell the word "Mouse *" - with a soft mark? - Kaneshna soft. But if this Myshin husband, then with the firm!
Joke #22071 —  
 
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Tale of some titles: 1. A tale of how a relatively young men have become surrender much memory, and then he, on the advice Friends bought the book "How to improve your memory, and when assembled, Finally, begin to improve memory with the help of this remarkable book, then he could not remember where he put it. 2. Tale of fashionable women's panties, which, in the unanimous opinion men, best seen on the floor.
Joke #22070 —  
 
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Joke from a slightly different way Robie (2 June):

Present Russia's president should: to build a power vertical, grow the ruling party and put the oligarch.
Joke #22069 —  
 
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Here, someone suggested to print on printers Goznak 100 billion Latin to repay the debt in Latvia. That is correct. But, for greater certainty These battens need to transfer to Riga by fax.
Joke #22068 —  
 
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End of the world: demo are impressive, wait for release.
Joke #22067 —  
 
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-Why do men like a woman's body? - Because women have more personal and no. - Why do women like men? - Because they compensate for their lack of intelligence masculine mind.
Joke #22066 —  
 
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Advertising apples: Newton was sitting in his garden under the apple tree, suddenly an apple breaks down on his head, Newton falls unconscious to the ground. Wife beating Newton cheeks: - Cam will be able to stand? .. - What is your name, remember? ...

Of St. Monster,
Joke #22065 —  
 
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Gasoline prices have pleased programmers. Ukraine has made a new step towards a European information society through the introduction of more convenient for programmers gasoline prices. Co Yesterday, the market price 3,20 UAH. / liter. Ukrainian programmers (which are simultaneously and motorists) noted that count their spending on gasoline has become easier. So 10 liters. cost of 32 UAH, 20 - in 64, and a full tank (40 liters) - in 128, which is much more convenient for people accustomed to the binary calculus. Convenient to calculate the gasoline for longer trips. Trip from Kiev in Odessa will cost around about 256, and back and forth 512 UAH. The next step, according to the programmers should be monetary reform. Already declared the collection of signatures under an appeal to the National Bank of Ukraine with the requirement to move to a more progressive binary nomination notes 1, 2, 8, 16, 32, 64 and 128 hryvnia, instead of hopelessly outdated Contemporary 1, 2, 5, 10, 20, 50 and 100.

http://censor.net.ua/
Joke #22064 —  
 
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Gathered as a Gref, Kudrin and Chubais to discuss energy issues. Stands Chubais: the population does not pay for electricity, without permission connected to the wire, is a country of thieves, must be reformed. Included Putin: Yes, the kidnapper of electricity to beat. Directly on the blatant red face!
Joke #22063 —  
 
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"02" - if it makes a man got into trouble. "03" - if it makes people hit the "02" "Undertaker-maker Bezenchuk" - if it makes people hit the "03"

If you're in "03", and "funeral-maker Bezenchuk" busy, then contact krimatory, tentatively calling "01"
Joke #22062 —  
 
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"I want to be judged by the American democratic laws. Age will not see "said Khodorkovsky.
Joke #22060 —  
 
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Khodorkovsky verdict clearly puzzled oligarchs. Can I continue to steal or not? If you can, then all or not all? If all, then all or not at all?
Joke #22059 —  
 
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For what? After reading the sentence said Khodorkovsky.
Joke #22058 —  
 
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Dad-I do not want Chupa Chups! -- - What do you want a little fiend? -- - I would like the zoo! -- - Okay went on the market .-
Joke #22057 —  
 
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Pregnant wife at night wakes up her sleeping husband: - Dear, I want a grenade .... I'm ready sest ton .- - My God! When you bear the terrorist expensive.
Joke #22056 —  
 
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See it in theaters: Ring 2 changed Alice Through the Looking Glass. Girl returns to the real world. Watch for exciting games and riddles, which will leave indelible impressions in the hearts of her friends ...
Joke #22055 —  
 
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Negative results of referenda on the ratification of the European constitution would minimize the influence of France, Holland and the remaining 20 European countries, non-ratified constitution for Europe. Most influential European country will be Ukraine, which ratified the Constitution three.
Joke #22054 —  
 
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After the verdict, Mikhail Khodorkovsky announced that he arranges Assistance Fund Russia concluded. After a week spent in prison he reported that in addition to the previous fund provides assistance to Russia pede ... s.
Joke #22053 —  
 
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From a dead donkey's ears ... or ass?
Joke #22052 —  
 
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Ads: when our mortuary working room for a game of Russian roulette.

St. Monster,
Joke #22051 —  
 
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St. Monster, http://litsovet.ru/index.php/main

Zhvanetsky - he writes, he reads, he laughs.
Joke #22050 —  
 
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St. Monster, http://litsovet.ru/index.php/main

Othello's farewell song: "Where, where you hanged?
Joke #22049 —  
 
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According to R. Abramovich, Chelsea Football Club "is not enough popularity. Decided to give the club a new name "Jaws"!

St. Monster,
Joke #22048 —  
 
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Inspired by the advertising: "And the tights should be removed ...". (Vasil Lucas)
Joke #22047 —  
 
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To parents of children with disabilities did not go to Moscow and did not spoil the image of Russia, June 1, raised the price to travel on trains.
Joke #22046 —  
 
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Order: 1. In order to improve the quality and reliability of manufactured finished products create an enterprise Theology Department. 2. Planning department to approve the staffing of the new department in number 4 (four) people, according to the number of major religions. 3. The duties of the department include the blessing of finished products to during shipment. Without the resolution, chief of the finished product considered withdrawn from the guarantee. 4. In case of insufficient effect, increase the staffing of to 7 (seven) people with the creation of the site for Alcoholics Anonymous washing the finished product.
Joke #22045 —  
 
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Yevgeny Adamov, changed his name to Khodorkovsky and agreed to extradition to the United States.
Joke #22043 —  
 
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Life is no condom, break through
Joke #22042 —  
 
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question: what is the difference between a terrorist and a Muslim? answer: the same as between the crest and Ukrainians

Gogi
Joke #22041 —  
 
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Escarpment is measured by the size of your trunk.
Joke #22040 —  
 
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"And whatever you say, Marry for love, There is no single, No, Kooooorol!

Well, about the kings, I do not know, but the princes are now IS muddy ...
Joke #22039 —  
 
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- Good to do! - And be up even better!
Joke #22038 —  
 
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- Go to your head thinking about sex? - Why attend? They live there!
Joke #22037 —  
 
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Einstein, thief, so much the physical laws themselves naotkryval - and do not it they - they are public property. Yes, and he could not have all this honestly open, for some five years on several Nobel. Clearly, steal. But if all that he had a grab, share, how many would be enough to candidate and doctoral! The people would be richer lived ... Oh, and Khodorkovsky is not better.
Joke #22036 —  
 
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- Born to crawl - can not fly! - Skzal Oh. - And there can! - Said the Caterpillar, okuklilas and turned into Butterfly.
Joke #22035 —  
 
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According to press reports, Wealden Psychology this week is going it alone subdue his wife.
Joke #22034 —  
 
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80-ies. Glory to the great Soviet people - the builder of communism. beginning of the XXI century. Glory to the great Moldovan people - the builder of country houses.
Joke #22033 —  
 
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I just received spam for penis enlargement. Regular advertising itself, but something stuck in the brain and I translated Sabji. in Russian. And then I realized how truthful title: Order now and get a huge penis -- Pay now and get a huge H.Y!
Joke #22031 —  
 
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In 2004, the world of plastic chest and Viagra spent 80 times more money than the study of Alzheimer's disease. If the trend continues, in 30 years all the world would be with huge tits and iron erection, but will not be able to remember why they all need.
Joke #22030 —  
 
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Sochi. A man standing in the car at the window, saying goodbye to the girl. Train and finally moved by a man shouting joyfully girl: And some bucks fake! She answered him: clap But this, dear! Solntseff
Joke #22029 —  
 
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3 million British drink tea every morning Tetley. and only 100 chelovey drink tea Ahmad. Among the hundred: the Queen of Britain Sir Elton John, Paul McCartney and the other 100 of the first people of Britain. Others drink bespontovy Tetley
Joke #22028 —  
 
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Every 3 years there is a new processor runs at 4 times faster previous. The time of uploading a new version of Windows on a machine with new processor remains unchanged.
Joke #22027 —  
 
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- In America, according to the polls Super Mario is the most popular call. - They just have not seen Boomer
Joke #22026 —  
 
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There as a pit bull and a Russian borzoi. Pitbul: - Tell me dear, well, what better democracy leash collar dictatorship? Russian borzoi: - Well, at least, they are better than the muzzle of anarchism.
Joke #22025 —  
 
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Simple arithmetic: "Home Alone -1" plus "Home Alone 2" is one of three houses.
Joke #22024 —  
 
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He is pushing his eyes hides a teddy bear under a blanket: - Victoria, what you do at night in my bedroom? It is in a transparent dressing with a smile: - Oh, Maxim me sleepless. - YES YOU GO to a therapist!
Joke #22023 —  
 
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