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So!-So!-So! said a machine gunner. So!-So!-So! said gun. Dissatisfied with something Yushchenko, metayas the wall, for some reason shouted something another. No matter what. The main thing is that this time he was shouting for long.
Joke #22672 —  
 
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Warring parties often buried military equipment in the sand. This not surprising, because buried in the sand tank virtually invulnerable: distance it is not visible, it is impossible to get a direct hit from conventional, non-nuclear weapons. Everyone knows that during Desert Storm, the Iraqis buried their airplanes in the sand and then dug up and flew them back to Iran, while the American M-16 from the sand sticks. Sakharov, escaping from the terrorists, offered to bury in the sand nuclear plants. If the Pentagon was promptly buried in the sand (and because the CIA told this Bush!), then it would not plane fell during the 911. This method should be applied to personnel in intelligence. And it is not just about the trenches, the trenches, cells or caches. I mean full Burrowing individual soldier in the sand, leaving him with only his head. Note: The head does not emit radio transmitters, and not having traced. From a distance of more than 20 m head visually resembles an ordinary stump, even plane - scout "Traitor" does not detect the radiation of the head against hot sand. This head is completely ready for combat for intelligence purposes. Can dug along the roads are head and count how many of them traveled American tanks and other equipment. In order not to betray himself, his head is not should use the radio and shouting loudly, even when it is very painful or biting mosquitoes. Intelligence should be passed in a whisper or mime another person's head, petrified in 50-100 m, and so on through the chain in headquarters (radio-electronic interception of data while excluded). This fighter can monitor not only visually. Rooted to the spot near the road head can not even look at the road (eg, sleeping) and feel the equipment of the enemy body. For example, buried the bridge can be pre-trained fighters to distinguish when it is drives a tank, and when just a car. To protect from dogs or wild animals around his head in a radius of 5-10 m should set traps or scatter bait with poison and put mosquito nets. For ease of breathing should first be loosened soil around thorax. Can fighters dug in iron drum of 200 liters, but then he lose seismic sensitivity and gain visibility magnetic air. The first 1-2 days a soldier could do nothing to eat or drink. Can then eat and drink from the tube, also dug in close to the head. Must have special diapers for a few high-capacity days, or dug a fighter, along with a bio toilet in a certain position to could go to the toilet, not moving and not pretending to be superfluous sounds. The most optimal posture when the soldier buried sitting astride on composting toilets, clasping hands, two soft bag. Alternately, pressing it to one, then the other bag, a fighter can eat porridge and drink from one of its water from other, as the astronaut. Can do without a toilet, if a fighter to fill the hole with no primer, and cat sand, having removed from his pants. A few days later, making his case, a soldier can get out and surrender to prisoner. Appliances dozer blade is simple, pay attention, as does lizard: sapper shovel loosened soil and samouglubitsya, making sharp movements hips from side to side, like belly dancing, handing backwards a little bit ago. Scouts should be recruited voluntarily (by contract) in advance awarding or assigning the next rank, so they know what they are in the name of their country.

Nikolai Borisovich
Joke #22671 —  
 
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... and even on the radio, he sang under the plywood ...
Joke #22670 —  
 
0
 
on the evening observations:

There are two friends. - Prikin what I imagine today bought a cool hair dryer! - Entry tags: So faster Valim at gatherings!
Joke #22669 —  
 
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-Vasya, and where some neighbors who lived here before? - So they moved! - Aaa .. In new or what? - No. In the World Ina!
Joke #22668 —  
 
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They talk to two friends: - You know, I think of me be excellent sapper - ??????? - I yesterday for 298 seconds at 480 square cells neutralized 99 min
Joke #22667 —  
 
0
 
Yushchenko said: Yanukovych will be called in for questioning exactly how much Khodorkovsky will be sitting in prison, Russia, Yanukovich has promised not only is actually a daily basis for questioning, but even get a job in Ukrainian Prosecutor ...
Joke #22666 —  
 
0
 
A drunken husband had returned home late at night from a brothel in his wife's question Where's the money? - Squander!
Joke #22665 —  
 
0
 
hedgehog learned to breathe by a dick ... pulled on a condom and choked
Joke #22664 —  
 
0
 
Riddle: what is +2, +2, +2, +2, +2, +2, +2 ,....... ? Blonde vote on anecdote. Py

What is 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0 ,....... ? Estonians voted for Issue 14 June 1999
Joke #22663 —  
 
0
 
- This chisburger do not need you. - Was given to me this chisburger ... (with an effort) - Potatoes Yoda want to give. - Na! Take! (with a catch) - And this drink ... New toilet Yoda-2005! Soon on sale!
Joke #22662 —  
 
0
 
So vyschlo completion of George Lucas's epic about the difficult everyday life Chancellor PolPUTINA on to building peace and order in the Republic. Film tells about the latest actions to expose and eliminate the so called "opposition" Jedi, nurturing a "democratic" slogans. PolPUTINU huge help in their elimination had young, but talented Darth Vader, who led for the delegations of our clowns.
Joke #22661 —  
 
0
 
After the visit, Ukrainian example Yulia Timoshenko to Poland, her picture appeared in the Polish "Play Beauce. Julia is sent to France. Fans Ukrainian prime minister to urgently looking for addresses of French pornographic.

(C) B
Joke #22659 —  
 
0
 
2010. The rumor that Mishka Yukos shines early, brought down the stock market. The company's shares "Prison-invest fell to 5 bulls apiece.
Joke #22658 —  
 
0
 
Chubais has bought the confectionery factory, which began producing candy "Chub-chubs. (Vasil Lucas)
Joke #22657 —  
 
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CSKA owner Abramovich said that sbreet mustache V. Gazzaeva if CSKA in This season will not become the champion of Russia. (Vasil Lucas)
Joke #22656 —  
 
0
 
Timoshenko: Ukraine retains the chances for EU membership, but we have to This will require a lot of Russia's natural gas - that is not found in our stores, most likely not be enough.
Joke #22655 —  
 
0
 
- I am often accused of that I sing under the plywood. So publicly answer all these insolent detractors - I have never in my life stress - not once, not sing under the plywood! I do not even know it is - plywood? Won the one in pink blouse, I'm telling you personally. All my life I sing and sing exclusively under the leaf wood material thickness of 1.12 mm, obtained by gluing three or more layers veneer. Phil
Joke #22654 —  
 
0
 
We met once Emperor Palpatine and Viktor Yushchenko. - Cinco (son )???!!!! - Old Man (Father )???!!!
Joke #22653 —  
 
0
 
Yushchenko speaks at the Maidan in front of a huge number of people with "2nd 100 days of his power." - I want to tell you a terrible secret. Everyone froze. - I do not Ukrainian! The crowd went surprised uuu. - I'm not even European! Even more uuu. - I am not a man! Already fully all confused. - I am the mighty Lord of the Sith!
Joke #22652 —  
 
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In the cabinet to Viktor Yushchenko comes to his secretary. - Excuse me, Mr Yushchenko, that I distract you from business, but ... Yushchenko slowly rising from his chair, turning and putting a black mask robot voice said: - I do not Yushchenko. Call me Darth Vader!
Joke #22651 —  
 
0
 
What is written about the stop tap in the plane?

If you continue to live laziness: Dernis this hrenoten !!!!!!
Joke #22650 —  
 
0
 
Voobshchem, asked Baits God compensation for what he is saying allowed them to occupy. God oserchal, began to thunder, yes sent them to Putin. Send Baits to Putin, again, require compensation. Putin has endured, tolerated and sent them to the donkey. Voobshchem, the Baltic states to the donkey rushed. Month. Year. Silence. Blessed. Surprised by the journalists asked the donkey: "How did you get them abandon their claims? " Donkey: "Well, I sent them all on the dick ... But so far it remains unclear whether they actually went to dick or satisfied with the donkey? But already about the ears but still a dead donkey is already invented all sorts of perverts ;)
Joke #22649 —  
 
0
 
MHSD warns: "Death in every hundred thousand cigarettes
Joke #22648 —  
 
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Met Gray Wolf Red Riding Hood and asked: - A hand that is depicted on the back pocket of your jeans - this Instruction Manual - Yes, the wolf (and crossed palm)
Joke #22647 —  
 
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The song's heavy-handed producer: "In my fist Star
Joke #22646 —  
 
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Stirlitz and Kate scored arrow. Arrow was a Gestapo agent.
Joke #22645 —  
 
0
 
Stirlitz and Kate walked arm in arm. Embracing was far away and had to go long.
Joke #22644 —  
 
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Georgians arrived in the Baltic states first of all went to a brothel, chose a prostitute and sex without condoms, have sex-neponravilos, decided not to pay for that prostitute congratulated him for AIDS Georgians and what you have never said that you have AIDS? - We have democracy and freedom of speech, want to talk, pay-negovorim
Joke #22643 —  
 
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Kingdom-The Holy Land, kept saying Osama bin Laden is throwing out Plane mines.
Joke #22642 —  
 
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Timoshenko, let me steer!
Joke #22641 —  
 
0
 
In Italy, a referendum is held on artificial insemination. (http://www.novoteka.ru/sevent/285560). Participants in the referendum masse lead abominable living examples of natural fertilization, which attracted hundreds of thousands of volunteers and volontersh.
Joke #22640 —  
 
0
 
In one of the popular LiveJournal started a conversation on Linux vs Windows. Representatives of the zoo of the city of Bobruisk denied involvement in the this provocation.
Joke #22639 —  
 
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Culture - is a person who preaches the cult of the urn.
Joke #22638 —  
 
0
 
Factory of stars - the squeaky factory in the world.
Joke #22637 —  
 
0
 
WISE THOUGHTS

A rich man can buy a house, but not family. For the money you can buy bed but not sleep. A rich man can buy a clock but not time. For the money you can buy the book but not knowledge. For the money you can buy food but not appetite. Money can buy position but not honor. Money can buy medicine but not health. Money can buy sex but not love. Money can buy insurance but not safety. As you see, money - that's not all. So if you have them too much, you can send me some.
Joke #22636 —  
 
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Paradise - a place where there are no bosses and Mondays!
Joke #22635 —  
 
0
 
People sign: if a woman as evil as a dog, probably the husband came home drunk as a pig.
Joke #22634 —  
 
1
 
Logically, Russia can not raise. Khodorkovsky
Joke #22633 —  
 
1
 
At the Le Bourget International Air Show opened. With dreamy enthusiastically inspected the new Airbus A380, the biggest airliner in the world, group of bearded men with a fanatical gleam in his eyes.
Joke #22632 —  
 
-1
 
Billiard ... Administrator approaches alone igryuschemu client. - How are you doing? - Here's an hour kata balls, and can not do anything to score. - It is understandable, the table something karambolny.
Joke #22631 —  
 
-1
 
- You already thought about eternity? - I reported this all my life I think! Always money is not enough!
Joke #22630 —  
 
0
 
A man accidentally meets with his former classmate, which is not seen for many years. - Hi, Katya, and you did not change, such as beautiful, as before! How are you? - Oh, nothing, it feels good, have a favorite job, a husband, two children. But we must, what a coincidence that I saw you now: a couple of weeks ago happened to me something of relevance to you! - Really? Come tell us! - In general, two weeks ago I underwent surgery to remove the uterus, the I had a fibroid ... - I am very sorry to hear this ... - But still I have for you is good news: the surgeon who did I operation, found the signet ring, which you then lost.
Joke #22629 —  
 
0
 
Marriage adds a ring on his finger ... and two women - under the eyes of men.
Joke #22628 —  
 
0
 
A farmer bought a thoroughbred horse for a fairly substantial sum, but a month later the horse suddenly fell ill. The farmer called the vet, and he surveying the horse, concluded: - Your horse has contracted a dangerous virus, he must now give this medicine within three days. After three days I will come see him, and if he does not recover, will have to sleep. The whole conversation heard nearby pig. After the first day taking the drug horse recovered. The pig went up to him and said: - Come on, buddy, get up! On the second day - the same drug on the horse did not work. - Come on, buddy, get up, but then you have to die -- warned him a pig. On the third day the horse was given medicine again and again to no avail. Visitor vet said: - Unfortunately, we have no choice, the horse should be put to sleep, because he virus that could spread to other horses! Hearing this, the pig ran to his horse and started yelling: - Just do it, the vet has already come, you have to climb - now or never! Get up as quickly! And then the horse suddenly rose to his feet and ran! - What a miracle! - Exclaimed the farmer. - This should celebrate! In this occasion slaughter a pig! Moral: never climb into other people's business.
Joke #22627 —  
 
0
 
Yushchenko has not been poisoned. Its just anyhow cloned from "B!
Joke #22626 —  
 
0
 
In order to avoid taxation of inheritance, rather grandmother wife Abramovich draw a fictitious marriage with my grandfather-in-law Vekselberg and transfer any property in any quantity.
Joke #22625 —  
 
0
 
The idea for the advertising companies:

If you expand a little bit later commercials dyurasel, it can be both the same get gonograr with dyureks on and names like, well, you should understand about than I!
Joke #22624 —  
 
0
 
Ah again nepoluchilos shouted Berezovsky, opening the returned packet bomb
Joke #22623 —  
 
0
 
In the rubric "Spizdili.

In Russia, saying "spizdil" not politically, correct to say "God sent. Recall, classic: "The Raven somehow God sent a piece of cheese
Joke #22622 —  
 
0
 
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