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New antipyretic - candles with divisions. Very easy to
use: the thermometer measuring its temperature, measured at
candle desired number of divisions and paste it in himself on the back side
on the desired mark and break off. Warning Use only
checked the thermometer had already been cases of frostbite.
Joke #23218 —  
 
0
 
There is Pinocchio with Malvina from a gynecologist. Malvina pleased, smiling,
voobshchem pregnant. Pinocchio scratches his head and thinks to himself: "What
silly this wise cricket! Sam told me not only to poke his nose. A
i
many did not stick his nose - all without the problems were, but as soon as something quite different
began to poke - just unnecessary worries and grief obtained! What still
it is silly! "
Joke #23216 —  
 
0
 
- Dad a gift, dad gift, dad give me a doll! "- Demanded the boy in
sexshop. Spines.
Joke #23215 —  
 
0
 
She was an honest girl. And even when making love for money,
no one cheated.
Joke #23214 —  
 
0
 
... on the Russo-Ukrainian summit:

U: Ukraine - an independent democratic state!
R:-Or Pan, or Propane!
Joke #23213 —  
 
0
 
Ukraine does not really derived from the word "margin" ... actually
name comes from the word "steal"!
Joke #23212 —  
 
0
 
He was so young, he had a chance to see "Star Wars" on
step ...
Joke #23211 —  
 
0
 
In the women's hostel with condoms do not go.
Joke #23210 —  
 
0
 
in response to the anecdote write his own version:
BUSINESS FOR GIRLS! QUICK GUIDE!
1.na party you see a nice guy. You come up to him and
say: "I'm fun in bed"
is a direct marketing
2. you come to a party with friends and see a nice guy. one
of your friends came up to him and said that to you cool in
bed
is advertising
3. at a party you see a nice guy. You can lift and
correct dress, come up to him and pour him a drink. you
say "let" and come up closer to him to straighten his tie
As a breast while his hands and then say that you
fun in bed.
is PR
4. at a party you see a nice guy. through clever manipulation you
are making dirty squabble between the girls present, but she
set aside. when all perederutsya you say "go away,
By the way, cool with me in bed "
is a black PR
5. at a party you see a nice guy, he comes to you and
says "I heard that cool with you in bed"
is a recognizable brand
6.na party you see a nice guy. you are trying to persuade him to go
with your girlfriend.
is a sales representative
7. your friend does not satisfy him, so he calls you
is a technical support
8.na party you see a cute guy come up to him and
say, "Do you remember how you had fun in bed Svetka? that I
taught her, come with me "
is leased
9. at a party you see a lot of nice guys. you write them all
notes on how to cool you in bed.
is a direct-mail
10. you come to the party, but there a lot of sexy girls. you lower a little
straps and say "cool with me in bed and chocolate with
Champagne not! "
is dumping
11.ty come to a party and say, "Cool with me in bed and you
'll be my third boyfriend for the evening "
is a network marketing
12.na party you loudly declares "who is interested, as I have in the bed -
me! "and taking all of another party
is pozitsianirovanie
13.na party you never went, but they only talk about how you
good in bed
is untwisted trademark
14. you come to a party and see a guy. you come to him and
said that your name is Sveta. Everyone knows how wonderful it in bed with
Svetka. while Sveta knows that you gave himself for it. so she
gets chocolate.
is franchise
15.
you leave with a nice guy, but in the morning, he said that is not quite
pleased with you.
is complaint
16.ty came to the party with her friends. see simp. guy. each
tells how cool it in bed and that she wants to get over it.
is tender
17. you see a cute guy come up and say that you
cool in posteli.uhodish with him. morning, he gives you champagne, but not
gives chocolate.
is deitorskaya debt
18.ty still going to a party, and Katya already circulating notes
in which it is written, as is well with you in bed
is the distribution of press release
19. you come on New Year's party, saying that sex with you
costs 3 chocolates and 5 of champagne. the end of the evening drunk to zero,
wake up in bed with some ugly.
is the season of sales.
20. you've come to the party, zakadrila guy, you come to your home, and
house husband. Handsome leaves nothing for pains, and you get the eye.
is a force majeure
Joke #23209 —  
 
0
 
-Russia drowning in garbage! Tell me what to do?
- It is necessary to make the price of transportation and delivery of tons of garbage in Russia in 1,5 times
more than a ton of scrap metal! And then all the power offered their
services!
St. Monster,
Joke #22993 —  
 
0
 
-Tell me, who will buy cars in Russia, where scrap metal in
our country will no longer be?
- The kidnappers of cars!

St. Monster,
Joke #22992 —  
 
0
 
TV in Russia: on all channels - teleputiki!
Joke #22991 —  
 
0
 
New spetstarif from MTS for the FSB and other special services, antiproslushivaemy --
SuperDzerzhins!

dronakos
Joke #22990 —  
 
0
 
only here! free distribution of bile-news service Ren-TV
Joke #22989 —  
 
0
 
Fresh from the yellow press headline:

Firebird burned in the microwave.

lol
Joke #22988 —  
 
0
 
Mayonnaise Makeev! The best way to gather the whole family .... near the toilet!
Joke #22987 —  
 
0
 
(Update old version)
- Smith, we have money troubles. 'll Have to sell the family portraits and
order a copy cheap.
- Sir, we have already done this trick with your father.
- Oh, Lord, what now?
- Offer, sell your family portraits and order copies cheaply.
- But you have already done this trick with my father!
- Yes, but my father did this trick with your grandfather. And they say,
also not the first time.
Joke #22986 —  
 
0
 
In Estonia, not only sprinters slow run, but the judges are starting
more brakes: shoot, when athletes already at the finish.
Joke #22985 —  
 
0
 
Soakashvili strives to make Georgia an integral member of NATO.
It is understandable. What then is the place in NATO seeks to make
Yulia Tymoshenko?
Joke #22984 —  
 
0
 
1993. New York. In the dark alley enter two cars. Of
go dark people.
Razberayutsya. Sodyatsya back and leave.
London. In the dark alley enter two cars. Of these, go
gloomy people.
Razberayutsya. Sodyatsya back and leave.
Paris. In the dark alley enter two cars. Of them go dark
people.
Razberayutsya. Sodyatsya back and leave.
Moscow. In the dark alley enter two merci. Of these, throw out two
crowd.
Razberayutsya. Loaded back into the bus and leave.
Joke #22983 —  
 
0
 
She first fell in love with her grandfather,
Then, she fell in love with a boy
Another was a girl
Oposaytes people naturalok ...
Joke #22982 —  
 
0
 
What wife nor choose, anyway, since Yuri Luzhkov - not
take of!
Joke #22981 —  
 
0
 
- Why the toilets Urinals hang on one wall?
- Because, if they hung around the perimeter, they
would be called 2pisuary.
Joke #22980 —  
 
0
 
As a senior Soros is selected Ukrainians that Soros Jr. them
so now take revenge?
Joke #22979 —  
 
0
 
-I keep the statement, please, who wants to surrender in advance
put a cross in front of his name ...
Joke #22978 —  
 
1
 
Teacher:
- Today Vovochka birthday and I decided to give him a lot
pleasant minutes, to the board! fast!
Joke #22976 —  
 
0
 
Teacher:
- Little Johnny, what are you doing there in the corner?
Little Johnny:
- Flowers guarded, Maria Mikhailovna.
Joke #22975 —  
 
0
 
Grandfather buried his grandmother. It takes 40 days, my grandfather drove moonshine-grandmother
remember. Please visit my grandfather's neighbor, saw the bottle under the table, asked
what it is. Yes, that's 40 days, Grandma, a neighbor come to remember. She left
neighbor neighbor resort. Uberall grandfather brew, and then went to my fool
the district. Grandfather poured brew, poured a bottle of water, a mixture of soap for
color and then put the bottle under the table. Comes precinct. What is grandfather
in tubya in a bottle under the table is worth?
Water! The policeman takes a faceted glass. Nalevay! Sup.
Wincing asked what it was. I say water, like his grandmother washed,
poolozheno 40 days did not pour.
Joke #22974 —  
 
-1
 
Dude comes to work, and work is ...
Joke #22972 —  
 
-1
 
Ministry of Defense has submitted to the Duma a bill on the recruitment of students.
Under the new law, students will be recruited into the special Student
troops, which is expected to command call deans,
rectors and the Minister of Education.
Joke #22970 —  
 
0
 
The president promised over three years to give the Army money.
New army money will be printed on Goznak on sketches
General Staff.
Joke #22969 —  
 
0
 
Ability to prepare, not the chief talent of your girl - the law of life!
Her father is a bum - Murphy's Law
Joke #22968 —  
 
0
 
God sits in heaven, and reading a textbook on Ukrainian history.
Eyes are red, angry, irritated. Then he does not stand up, throws the book at
side and shouted: Clerks to me!
So, take a pen, write it down!
P O S T A N O V E L I
First. Restore historical justice and rename Ukraine
in Kievan Rus and Muscovy in Rossiyskuyu Federation!
Second. Rename Russian - in the Muscovites, and Ukrainians - in Rusich!
Third. Impose a fine of Muscovy for copyright infringement Kiev
Russia in terms of illicit use of the word "Rus", to remove her entire
stabilization fund, to buy all the money and fat to give it to the Kievan Rus!
Joke #22967 —  
 
0
 
Zastole:
- Davayte raise stakany .... and then they'll valyayutsya Th.
Joke #22966 —  
 
0
 
Q: If people do not delils on sex, how would then
razgovarivovali in Russia?
Joke #22965 —  
 
0
 
As shown in clinical trials, but our guinea pigs
themselves to bring more and cabbage.
Joke #22964 —  
 
0
 
- Life - shit! - Said the old nightman.
- Yes, with someone else ... - Added a pathologist.
Joke #22963 —  
 
0
 
Got two peasants salary, and the road home, passing by the store.
I want to drink, but his wife zarugayut if their money to spend.
And let's you investiruesh me, and I tell you.
For others, we are not forbidden to drink.
Joke #22962 —  
 
0
 
Argued Russian, American and Japanese who have a more productive
technique.
The Japanese said, I have a stamp, once shtampanu, microprocessor,
the second time - the receiver for $ 100.
The American said, if I have my stamp twice proshtampuyu, I have
get parts for automobiles for $ 1000.
Russian says, and I also have a good stamp on one side
written "permit", but on the other "prohibited".
Twice per day proshtampuyu and 10 000 $ earned.
Joke #22961 —  
 
1
 
Why UNIX fans love to look at the night sky?
They baldeyut from black screens.
Joke #22959 —  
 
0
 
At the global police forum serves a group of
Chinese police.
- All of your recommendations, gentlemen, we in China work fine.
Except one. System "identikit" gives zero results.
- Why?
- Why? Look at us more closely!
Joke #22958 —  
 
0
 
Anecdote from demographers: "To reduce the country's birth rate, should be allowed
all young women in higher education. "
Joke #22957 —  
 
0
 
The conflict between the U.S. and the DPRK was completely exhausted after Korea
first and last time made vigorous testing of weapons ..
From the same message .. the Sea of Japan, a new island ...
Joke #22956 —  
 
0
 
Married ppapopschik on a young girl. Poutpu after bpachnoy night,
went to the bathroom, and the young wife took up aepobikoy. And when she
tried bending over to get his fingertips puk socks feet from the bathroom
there is a newlywed, and seeing such a thing, govopit pastpoganno:
- Hu that you dopogaya! It is enough, if you will by a simple govopit
me every utpo - Zdpaviya wish tovapisch gvapdii stapshy ppapopschik! "
Joke #22955 —  
 
-1
 
Talking George W. Bush and North Korean diplomat. Bush:
- What kind of mushroom in your opinion the most dangerous
- Nuclear, George, nuclear
Joke #22954 —  
 
0
 
"Attention, time your girl expires.
- And I do not go to the brothels.
Joke #22953 —  
 
0
 
Berlin
2005 year
In knizhnoim store (department of political literature)
- Do you have globes Germany?
- Yes you that, we are still half a century ago, they moved to the Department of fiction.
Joke #22952 —  
 
0
 
Hello Hare Enerdzhayzer, what are you so sad, but then again I was 11
normal saline batteries and beat his wife with a battery rabbit
changes.
Joke #22951 —  
 
0
 
Matryoshka: mother-in-law-wife-daughter.
Joke #22950 —  
 
0
 
The bride looked like a big ship, and before sailing on her
board wanted to split a bottle of champagne.
Joke #22949 —  
 
0
 
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