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Call from the police station in Russia's embassy:
- It is not your man sleeping on a park bench without documents?
- He is sober?
- No! Near a bottle!
- Finished up cup?
- It is not our man!
One boy, who just did that all day sitting at home and
playing computer games, my father decided was taken to the sea, which he neither
never in my life seen. They come to the beach, located, and the Pope
- Sonny, look, what is beauty: gulls, blue sky, sun,
reflected in the water, waves, light wind and calm ...
- Oh, this sea chart - utter shit!
- Why McDonald makzavtrak just before 10 am?
- Yesterday's leftovers lose their marketability.
- I hot dog please.
- Thank you.
- Is it tasty?
- Yes, the current fucking hot dog!
What mother-in-law differs from the female dog?
Female dogs are sometimes called a girl.
- I've got a girl - a primary school teacher.
- So what?
- And this: "Honey, when you kiss tongue does not smack one's lips, clothing
shoot accurately in bed hump. All, thank you, sit down,
four ... "
In response to the reluctance of fans of "Spartacus" to see the UEFA Cup, won by
CSKA, CSKA last Sunday perepokazali their final match for
the cup at the meeting with "Spartacus."
- How do you think the underground someone lives?
- And why you think so?
- Well, somebody paints the radishes in red.
Extremely high levels of the vast majority of the finalists
Eurovision-2005 made it impossible to objectively choose the winner.
Therefore, viewers had to vote subjective - for her. Greece for
Cyprus, Cyprus for Greece, Sweden for Denmark, Denmark to Sweden, Belarus for
Russia, Russia to Malta.
Doctors argued about Michael Jackson, saying that after the operation he
not be able to have children ...
Guy for a long time to persuade the girl to do sex with him.
She, as usual, long resisted, but finally agreed.
And now he is fully satisfied and said:
- Well, that's all, and you're afraid. This small accidents will know
only two - you and me.
- No, three.
- And who's the third?
- Your treating venereal diseases.
List of Bills:
Act zhopah and similar entities.
Law on the rule of law in sexual intercourse.
The law on who is Happy in Russia.
Law on the recognition of occupational disease senile politicians.
Act asshole, mudilkah and loudmouth.
Law on licensing rights to provide services mudofonnoy connection.
Licensing Act law license.
Act on the arguments of Ivan Ivanovich and Ivan Nikiforovich.
Law on the steady growth of GDP by raising prices at a constant
Law on Freedom of the fall.
Law of the Priest and His Workman Balda.
Law of the Fisherman and the Fish.
Law on Legal Protection of works of art by prohibiting access to
The law, which shaft (where you turn, there it went).
Law on Prevention of abuse of the foreskin by combining ceremonies
issuance of passports and circumcision.
Law on the right of citizens to a fair and timely punishment.
Law on Legal Protection of bast by levying tax on their manufacture
Law on the frequency of intercourse during the honeymoon.
Law on the length of the menstrual cycle in women of retirement
age and persons equated to them.
Law of international relations through the hollow.
The Law on the citizen's right to a secret and the free flow of urine.
Law on the Right to Left and Loewe on the right.
Act on the temporary moratorium on the occupation mudatskimi activities.
Act to reduce the number of asshole per capita.
Law on, how much dead souls of the population.
Act asshole as the main source of law.
Licensing Act legislation.
Act on the provision of free places in the toilets like a toilet.
Law banning the use of government publications in
As podtirochnogo material.
In the Baltic fascists? Do not insult the Nazis!
Eat more of these soft French rolls, but violates copyright laws
Packages Class TsiCADa / SAMchatka
Catch-up 31 from 22/05/2005 --
sukoblyavane - conflict, conflict of interest (in Serbo-Croatian lang.)
even the "long" does not help if the diameter pi * dy very large, except for
Ukrainian Greenjolly, after the defeat, demanded rerun
outcome Eurovision ... In the event that they promised to arrange
"Maidan-2" in front of the European Parliament ...
"Falsifikatsiyam - HI!":)
Finally a dream came true of President Yushchenko and Ukraine is in a
Along with the developed countries of Europe. Along with Britain, Germany, France
Spain and Ukraine was in the bottom of the list of winners
Eurovision Song Contest.
Drobysh! Your Euro-protege You now stuff the cable to the Zh.
Khodorkovsky was sentenced to death by sentencing.
There are two buddies.
- Hello Something you long seen.
- Yes, I was in a coma.
- And where exactly, in Syktyvkar, or in Ukhta?
Commander Navy Vladimir Kuroyedov: "This year we
lay two new ship - a frigate and a large landing ship new
series. These remarks caused a flurry of joyful emotions employees
Once the most in the world felt sorry for his wife Petrosian. Then came
wife ... Now, no one regrets.
The success of the Greek singer at the Eurovision-2005 "is also connected with
fact that the Ukrainian security services failed operation to substitute soundtracks
Greek women on the record of the song Garik Krichevsky, "My room - 245.
- Dad, and a million euros - a lot?
- All depends on what you earn them or spend.
Your sex appeal to 50% depends on what you have, and 50% of
what other people think that you have.
- How to get out of the casino with $ 500 in your pocket?
- To go there with $ 10000.
In childhood Alsou said the letters instead of the letter A. Because it did not take into
Children's Ensemble Cuckoo. Vikusya.
If the race in Formula 1 are carried out directly in Monte Carlo, then why race
Camel Trophy is not to directly in Moscow?
It seems that the verdict in the case of Yukos read so slowly that the
allow to translate Goblin.
According to some reports the Kremlin storytellers conceived continued
history. In her readers again vstretyatsya with loved them as heroes.
Master Guo was asked: "How do you earn a living, because nobody
knows what a Go? "
"Very simply," - replied the Master, "I answer to the question of * what * Guo, and
because no one knows the answer, then I have enough money! "
Did you know ...
... that an act of justice in ancient times believed the ceremony of tying
Themis blindfold - your eyes have not seen what they do hands.
Master Guo was asked: "Master, what shall I do if the players having
high rating to me seem intelligent, but with a smaller - stupid? "
- "It's not about you" - Master laughed, "but in the ranking. Mentally
change the rating of those players who you look stupid, and you
see how things have changed! "
Master Guo was asked - "How he was able to win in backgammon?"
"I played them the first time in my life, so no one bothered me," --
said Master Guo.
"And who usually prevents you from playing?" - Asked the Master.
"I?" - Asked the Master, - "Of course I did!"
Master Guo was asked - what ailment increases resistance to Go?
- Collectivism, - replied the Master.
- It's not a secret that fans of Go can not be collected even
Did you know ...
... that before the death of hopelessly sick violated his oath of Hippocrates and
gave the doctor a bribe. Since then, the amount of bribes and the meaning of the oath
Hippocrates safeguard patient confidences.
Did you know ...
... that in the fall donyutonovskie rotten apples on his head
Alchemists considered an act of lawlessness?
How quickly time flies! More recently, an increased rate
fiscal and financial burden of the people just is robbery!
sat sobbing Israeli soldier in a closed fist hand grenade
primed, all running around looking for checks, cerzhant trying to reassure
soldier neplach now find a place to insert a check and no nepogibnet,
face-lightens the soldier well, but then I thought I could not do it without the full
kit to sell.
boy, why are you stuck her head in a microwave?
- I want to be frightening as Yushchenko
I want to thank all my friends and girlfriends, who forwarded me
on soap "chain letters" for all these years. With your
1. I stopped drinking Coca-Cola, after he learned that it is well
suitable for cleaning toilets.
2. I do not go to the movies, because I'm afraid to sit on a needle infected with
the AIDS virus.
3. I stink, because it no longer use deodorants, because they
4. I do not park on any parking lot, because there I can
give a bottle of spirits, which would be potent substances,
from which I disabled, and I obvoruyut.
5. I offer large do not answer the phone, because I can
asked to call in a strange long number, after which we obtain
astronomical bill for calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
6. I do not drink beverages from tin cans, so as not to catch
any disease that is transmissible through the allocation of rodents.
7. When I go to a nightclub, I'm not looking for a single girl, even
if she is very beautiful, because I was afraid that she dragged me into
hotel and pour me a glass of clonidine, so you cut me
kidney and sell it on the black market.
8. I have listed all their savings at the expense of Amy Bruce - poor little
girl who was in hospital for at least 7000 times. (Interestingly
this girl is still 8 years old, as in 1995).
9. My Free GSM Nokia I was never sent, as I won
tickets to Disneyland.
10. I am 21 times endured party, which organized on the occasion
a free box Veuve Clicquot, and now all the guests
friends on my offense.
Many thanks to all!
CAUTION If you are over 10 seconds pereshlesh this message as
least for 1200 address to you on the head of a pigeon makes a mess tomorrow at 17-30.
At the funeral of a gang in a restaurant: the old Russian bought
music, and new - of the author.
On the way to a good figure, she tried all ...
but moderation in eating and sports.
A villager brings the chicken to the vet and says:
- Doctor, my chicken is not demolished for Easter chocolate eggs!
- So it's natural!
- But no shit is not natural: why did she then demolished the cake?
- What is the difference between Lenin and Putin?
- Different preferences in the choice of trains from Germany.
Lenin-Blanc came from Germany to break up the Russian empire in the commodity
Kaiser car with gold, and Putin has got to St. Petersburg in the Army and
hundred doychmarok. During his cheek.
- What's especially asked an Australian, came out of the 8-day
- What have you done with my boomerang?
The girl said soldiers
- Make the fence!
- Pokraste veranda!
- Water the garden!
- Oh, God must be so hungry.
Who steals little known fact gonoph and put in jail. Who steals
many, he is an oligarch, and held in high esteem.
... The former combat engineer in him only betrayed the writing of two "n" word