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From the television.
"... It is very evident today on the football field referee Ivanov. This
impression that he is playing with fire ... "
Joke #25925 —  
 
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From the television.
- ... And now, at the request of viewers, we reiterate the penalty in
performance of Wagner's Love in the central gate of the stadium "Luzhniki" ...
Joke #25924 —  
 
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- How did it happen that you are liberated Sevastopol is May 9, 1944
year? - Ask a veteran of WWII.
- I wanted to present themselves at least some - a gift to the Victory Day ...
Joke #25923 —  
 
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Berezovsky is calling for Bush:
- Mr President, I sincerely regret that some of Moscow hooligan
called and said that the issue of State Condoleezza Rice laid the bomb!
- Mr Berezovsky, what bomb? Where? Nothing about this do not know, and our
security services, too.
- (Himself) Blin, well, anything that Russian request can not be!

www.msk2004.narod.ru
Joke #25922 —  
 
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He was so suspicious type, that in the end security services
shot it from a water cannon.

www.msk2004.narod.ru
Joke #25921 —  
 
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In honor of 60 anniversary of the Victory Pope was elected German named
Joseph.

What? Why so long chosen?

First wanted to name Adolf second, but three times peregalivali.

gc
Joke #25920 —  
 
0
 
Only here! By purchasing a monitor, you get the glasses or contact lenses
choice absolutely free!
Joke #25919 —  
 
0
 
I do not like girls because they can not refuse.
Joke #25918 —  
 
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- Sir, but you do not think that if the cardinals at the Vatican will elect a new
Pope Negro, the majority of white Catholics will go into
Protestantism
or even become atheists?
- Sir, even if everything happens that way, instead gone to the white
Catholicism rush, millions of black and Roman Catholic Church
become black.
Joke #25917 —  
 
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Pi $ yes - this is a trap in which you want to return.
Joke #25916 —  
 
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Viagra! And let the whole world podozhmet tail.
Joke #25915 —  
 
0
 
Is the sin of sending devils to x * d?
Joke #25914 —  
 
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- When the Roman Catholic cardinals in the Sistine Chapel will choose from its
environment of the new pope and release white smoke from the chimney?
- It happens only when they have finished drink and snack.
Joke #25913 —  
 
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Smoking as masturbation - all involved, but all deny. :)
Joke #25912 —  
 
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Surely Ratzinger with Ridiger fail to agree?
Joke #25911 —  
 
0
 
Cheers! I was finally awarded the Order! Maybe I did not deserve this
awards, but sciatica and degenerative disc disease, I also did not deserve, but they have
I have ...
Joke #25910 —  
 
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Feast. Noisy, fun.
Suddenly something falls.
- Saucer fell.
- So, someone else is to us perhaps.
- Country: whether the woman, or man.
- Uncle Arkady comes, - Little Johnny said. - He is fag!
Joke #25909 —  
 
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Good earning, we have a bad, but bad earning
do well.
Joke #25908 —  
 
0
 
The report Gref, Putin: "In 2004 Russia made a strong
economic blevok ... that is, I wanted to say jerk ... "
Joke #25907 —  
 
0
 
Army Athlete ask:
- You take the height of 2-40?
- With a platoon of machine gunners and two armored personnel carriers.
Joke #25906 —  
 
0
 
- Dad, and our players ever occupy first place in the world?
- Never!
- Why?
- Because not know how to play!
- And if the championship for the title of the worst teams in the world, there
benefit?
- Never!
- Why?
- Because not know how to play!
Joke #25905 —  
 
0
 
- Mom, is it true that men always want sex?
- Not true, my girl. They do not think.
Joke #25904 —  
 
0
 
At the front door of the bus comes to a blonde. For the first time seeing the turnstile,
turns to the driver:
- Stick your me, please.
Joke #25903 —  
 
0
 
- Do you like this pose, darling?
- No! Too, she recalled gynecological chair.
Joke #25902 —  
 
0
 
You - this Petersburger, if:

1. Think that St. Petersburg - best city in the land, although in other cities
were never all that less Petersburg - d, and Moscow - all
still worse. In Moscow, you, the truth, too, were not.

2. Consider yourself an educated man, although with difficulty finished 8
grades.

3. Because higher education, you may have finished vocational school. Or
driving school.

4. Walk in the dirty, worn-out shoes and tattered leather jacket,
bought at Aprashke.
The essential attribute of your attire - polutoralitrovaya beer bottle in
one hand and a stinking cheap cigarette - in another.

5. The longest journey in your life - hour trip to
train to the country.

6. Do not know where the stations are located in St. Petersburg, with the exception
Baltic (or Finland) - because with it you go to the country.

7. Think that the fact of your birth in St. Petersburg puts you
far above the rest and allows you to treat others with arrogance
and disdain.
Think a reference to the place of your birth and residence of final
triumphant argument in the dispute, regardless of the level of culture and
Education of your opponent and his righteousness.

8. Think that all the dirt and debris in the city - from the visitors, but
sure that a big city can not be pure. And in general, come in large numbers here
from the village! The fact that you yourself Petersburger in the best case in the third
generation you would prefer not to remember.

9. Proud of the fact that St. Petersburg is called the cultural capital, although in
Hermitage first and last time was in third grade school. Other
museums had never been, but know that they are somewhere there.

10. Persist in calling the grand staircase, despite the lack of black
stairs and incredible filthy that your front door.

11. The interior of your apartment differs little from the front - Repair
the last time you did 20-25 years ago. Between loose wallpaper on
newspaper, for which they were stuck you can read a greeting
Brezhnev's Olympic Games-80.

12. Think your neighbor, who placed windows and made a
repair bloodsucker bourgeoisie and the working people to whom you undoubtedly
consider themselves, though odd jobs and
temporary work. So you steal his mail from the box and dirtying his
door.

13. The rent you pay, but it does not prevent you angry at the mud
stairs and in the yard.

14. Think Zenit decent football team.

15. You're angry, when all this reading. And the fact that all this is true, you
just crazy.
Joke #25901 —  
 
0
 
- Father, why did you hide in the basement of Bin Laden?
- For business, granddaughters. On 9 May, the President invited to Moscow various Masons
from around the world, including the number 1 terrorist George W. Bush. Here is
convenient to them all at once with one blow bang! But our
anti-globalists do not want, and I asked for the job
Ben
Laden. Will make the all-star!
Joke #25900 —  
 
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Fly a sober pleasure, but nepivychno!
Joke #25694 —  
 
0
 
Using a condom, anyway, that by putting it into the language, try taste of food.
Joke #25693 —  
 
0
 
Expensive and cheap girls are invited to Russia's army. Fun `Doreen
Joke #25692 —  
 
0
 
- Why did Putin just returned from a trip abroad, went to a fire in Ostankino television center? - I wanted to find out whether it makes sense to go to the next trip.
Joke #25691 —  
 
0
 
Met once Sinbad the Cyclops drank, as usual, and devil pulled one of them to remember the old ...
Joke #25690 —  
 
0
 
The motto of the lottery organizers: "Each family member * TO 3 CAR!"

* Note: Each member of the family of the organizers of lotteries.
Joke #25689 —  
 
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Burial dating. Cemetery. Send SMS to number 666 and go Meet
Joke #25688 —  
 
0
 
After the proposal is considered the word - a coffee at the same time the average male and genus, apparently allowed to say "Kofan", "cocoa", etc. It is easier to break is the scale of the country than himself to learn how to speak.
Joke #25687 —  
 
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- Waiter! Prepare a bath of champagne - a wash basin and vodka -- socks to wash. - Clearly. And what shall we drink?
Joke #25686 —  
 
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At namely a sexologist: - Doctor! I probably begins impotence? - Well, let's detail. - When I sailed on a tourist boat from Moscow to Astrakhan, then each Day fucking and 9 women. And on the way back - only 8! What do you say? - I would gladly changed places with you!
Joke #25685 —  
 
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- Why not Tymoshenko flew to Russia? - Because Yushchenko issued a decree that has not finished sowing until everything vspashut and not sent to prison - none of the members of the government nowhere not go. - And why did the prosecutor general is outside the country? - He is already nasazhal ...
Joke #25683 —  
 
0
 
Men's toast: "Here's to us, for everyone has his own!"
Joke #25682 —  
 
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- Honey, have you read my diary? - Yes. - Well? Rate in a nutshell. - Diary of a Madman.
Joke #25681 —  
 
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My daughter comes home late at night and said my mother: - Today I and my boyfriend for the first time in my life had sex! - Well, what are you the first time, said my mother, it is clear. But how do you know that your guy did that for the first time? - Because it had been in tselofanchike!
Joke #25680 —  
 
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He has everything a man can dream, but the diagnosis is inexorable ... Look at the new ORT Mexican serial Senior Mikroflores.
Joke #25679 —  
 
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Volume of Pushkin - are calling Tamara I. Pushkin colleagues.
Joke #25678 —  
 
0
 
Call from the tax: - Hello, this society is blind! Why not pay taxes? Ah, found not can! - Hello, this society is dumb! Needless to low in the tube, tomorrow to come. - Hello, this society of the deaf! Have you ever cease to be silent? I'll be quiet!
Joke #25677 —  
 
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Especially a man tenderly kissing when the second woman makes him blowjob (c)
Joke #25676 —  
 
0
 
Spring Appeal. The best spring appeal are invitingly spread out legs women.
Joke #25675 —  
 
0
 
Blonde and brunette are sitting in a cafe. Y blondes mobile phone calls, but it not answer. Brunette says: - What do you not answer the call? - It's not me, because nobody knows what I'm here! - Blonde replied.
Joke #25674 —  
 
0
 
From news.

Chechen President Alu Alkhanov visited on laying a new home in Grozny. In the wall of the house was mortgaged letter descendants. Alu Alkhanov, in particular, said: "... Our descendants after another storming of Grozny will be able to read this letter ... "
Joke #25673 —  
 
0
 
- Why Tymoshenko was appointed chairman of the government? - Because a member of the government, it can not be.
Joke #25672 —  
 
0
 
- Hello! Are you worried about Mosgostrah ... - Brain ... Excuse me, who?
Joke #25671 —  
 
0
 
Yulia Timoshenko in Russia will not go. She's afraid of our jokes.
Joke #25670 —  
 
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