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Georgia - Rose Revolution, Ukraine - Orange Revolution, 2005, March,
- One of the republics of the former Soviet Union - Mac revolution. We look forward to continuing.
Joke #27441 —  
 
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Preview trailer gum Dirol:
Khodorkovsky gives journalists an interview: "Down with dictatorship!"
next day his lack of riot police and drives for many years in prison ..
Putin's voice-overs "Sometimes it is better to eat than talk"
Joke #27440 —  
 
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A. Pukshyn: "Captain masturbation - the manual to address
Intimate plan senior commanders of seagoing vessels.
Joke #27438 —  
 
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Painting Surikova a new way: "Berezovsky Menshikov
Joke #27437 —  
 
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Limit of greed - is when you sell your business cards
Joke #27436 —  
 
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News Moscow.

Considering the positive experience of paid parking on city streets, Mayor
Moscow has put forward a new proposal to charge a fee for a stop not only
on the sidelines, but for a stop at traffic lights (1 USD minute) and standing in
jams (0.5 rubles per minute)

This proposal is strongly supported by Mosgodumoy.

The right to charge a Palto already been transferred to several commercial organizations,
who promised something otdvat city budget.
Joke #27435 —  
 
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Stirlitz hanging curtain. Curtains fiercely resisted.
Joke #27434 —  
 
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Analysis of the base police department showed that in the recent past, Shrek was Fantomas.
During the arrest, please be careful!
Joke #27433 —  
 
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After calling in for questioning to the Prosecutor General, former head of the Central
Electoral commission Sergey Kivalov attempted suicide.
Despite the cross-eight bullet wounds to the head, not a single bullet, according to
Fortunately, not hurt the vital organs.

http://censor.net.ua/index.php
Joke #27432 —  
 
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Putin - Luzhkov:
- Immediately Seek Tsereteli! Monday monument "Molotov
Ribbentrop confers state awards Ivan Susanin "should
stand
the Embassy of Poland!

http://censor.net.ua/
Joke #27431 —  
 
0
 
pies myavsom
Joke #27430 —  
 
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They say that life is like a zebra: black stripe, white stripe, stripe
black and white stripe .... w @ pa!
On this occasion I made a reasonable proposal: repaint
zebra white and amputate her ass
Joke #27429 —  
 
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Watson, reading the newspapers: - Holmes, here write that in the former
Soviet republics as soon as the elected president, immediately
a revolution with the requirement to reassign another in his place.
So it was in the Ukraine, and now in Kyrgyzstan. What is it, how you think
Holmes?
- Well this is elementary, Watson. People try to avoid repetition
Russia's effect. Remember, a year ago, Russians have chosen their
President Vladimir Putin, and for one year only for them already
raise prices, abolished the privileges taken away the right to elect governors
reduced holidays, and some have already taken away the last housing. To
want the president, rather than worry about
welfare of its citizens and protect their rights would be trampled on the constitution
infringe upon the rights of their voters, worsened financial situation of the people
and
behaved as any occupier or a despot. So much to fuck such
"Election". - Replied the great detective.
Joke #27428 —  
 
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Thank the media! Now, thanks to the media, we know
that against Chubais 1 kg. explosive enough. It must be a minimum of 50 kg. Now
remains to clarify the route. We hope to help in this matter
same journalists.
Joke #27427 —  
 
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Brevity - stepmother orgasm.
Joke #27426 —  
 
0
 
Original - just ofigenno sdelanaya fake!
Joke #27425 —  
 
0
 
"Kolga" - a special toothpaste for sexual minorities. (Vasil
Lucas)
Joke #27424 —  
 
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A new TV show "I am ready at all ..." (Vasil Lucas)
Joke #27423 —  
 
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Favorite Science our leaders - it is a statistic. (Vasil Lucas)
Joke #27422 —  
 
0
 
- Klava possible?
- She moved!
- Who?
Joke #27421 —  
 
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That's how you sit at work all day at the monitor like a demon. You come
home - the head is splitting from all the "Tetris" and patience with
Internet.
Joke #27420 —  
 
0
 
- Look here, Holmes. How do you think a government more
competent: American or Ukrainian?
- It's elementary, Watson. Of course, Ukrainian. Judge for yourself. At
time, as stupid the U.S. government and EU obkladyvayut
Ukrainian goods increased tariffs, anti-dumping suit
proceedings against Ukrainian steel, all the political means
pushed Ukraine to the markets of weapons - cunning Ukrainian
Government reduces by several times the duty on imported goods. And
what
was the result? Western manufacturers, who can
fight in equal competition for their own markets
Ukrainian producers - zahireyut. Western consumers
internally instead of cheap Ukrainian buy their expensive --
become poor and fall into depression. Meanwhile, Ukrainian manufacturers,
tempered in the competition for its own market, bloom. A
Ukrainian consumers, having the opportunity to buy cheap imported
instead of expensive domestic, will become rich and be happy. How
Ukrainians were lucky that they have such a clever government!
Joke #27419 —  
 
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By raising the price of train tickets in 1,5 times, the current
Government of Ukraine is trying to insure against the arrival of a large
number of people in Kiev for any ordinary revolution.
Joke #27418 —  
 
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Ltd. "Maski Show" offers special forces to carry out surprise
tax audits of competitors, as well as for children's party.
Joke #27417 —  
 
0
 
Promotion of the new bosses: every third, calling for
kover - free Bank vaseline, every tenth - a free visit
to the proctologist.
Joke #27416 —  
 
0
 
There is a lesson.
Teacher: "Vova, tell us who is the chairman of the Organization
United Nations? "
Little Johnny: "Tea Masturban!"
The teacher: "MLPs ???!!!"
Little Johnny: "Ugh, shit! Not remember! Coffee Anan, Chenopodium Ivanna !"...
Joke #27415 —  
 
0
 
- Dooooktooooor, y meenyaaaaa iglaaaaa in veeeeneeeeeee!
- And what would you do??
- Goooniiiiiteee eeoooo in sheeeeeyuuuuuu!
(D. NeeZZ)
Joke #27414 —  
 
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He grew up a simple boy, and was very poor, therefore, became an alcoholic.
But at 30 he decided to get rid of the addicts.

See the best theater in the country:
"Battle of vodka"

Soon screens

ZOLTAN
Joke #27413 —  
 
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Turkmenistan - Niyazov: president for life;
KYRGYZSTAN - AKAYEV: President of the Board for an indefinite period;
Belorussia - Lukashenka: President with indefinite rule.

TRY TO FIND THE DIFFERENCE

ZOLTAN
Joke #27412 —  
 
0
 
The real sign in the entrance of the battery of central heating:
"Takeoff and uebis!".
Joke #27411 —  
 
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Democracy - a dictatorship of the Democrats

Carleet
Joke #27410 —  
 
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After the election, Yushchenko faces a mirror, sees itself and
mutters: Polly is not a fool ... Polly is not a fool ... Polly is not a fool ... yes ...
which still parrot - and is not no fool!
Joke #27409 —  
 
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From overheard in the dining room. Programmers understand.

- Why weight dishes on the menu is written 050, not just 50 grams?
- So this is an octal number.
Joke #27408 —  
 
0
 
Terrorist hiding behind trees, poles, corners of houses, short
rushes moved along the street, and police he smiled affably, with
officials greeted him, and only then came to a terrorist, he again
home in London.
Joke #27407 —  
 
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Yushchenko came to Turkmenbashi, let us zabesplatno your gas!
- Take, darling, ADS-P-PP
Joke #27406 —  
 
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Closed physicist split the nucleus of an atom. Thirty years later it became known,
that the true purpose of the experiments were in a closed secret physics radiobiologists
to identify possible pathogenic mutations. Another half a century later found
information that all this was totally a secret experiment in secret
radiobiologist special superpsihologov to understand the behavior
personality in conditions of extreme radiation. Finding this information
historian rubbed hoof upper eye, and excitedly looked at the deserted
landscape, triumphantly crowed.
Joke #27405 —  
 
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Want to lose weight? Live a while a month with the poor and seksualnoozabochennym!
Joke #27404 —  
 
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"This is the end of the Light!" - Said Vasya and unbuttoned his fly.
Joke #27403 —  
 
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Open the window, and then the mosquitoes any stale.
Joke #27402 —  
 
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Our boss does not barefoot.
Joke #27401 —  
 
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Census lohoseleniya.
Joke #27400 —  
 
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Putin as the anthem of Russia - a new word, but the melody of an old friend.
Joke #27399 —  
 
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1. Money - Power.
2. Time - Money.
3. From 1 and 2 should, Time - The Power.
4. Force = Mass * Acceleration
5. Of the 3 and 4 should, Time = mass * (speed / time)
6. Dividing 6, Mass * Velocity = 1
7. Ie Weight inversely proportional to velocity, therefore, than
less you move, so you fatter.
Joke #27398 —  
 
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Well-known U.S. Senator visited Indian reservations. Sure,
pushed it, full of promises about improving the lives of Indians. "There will come
new era in the life of the Indians "- he proclaimed. At this the Indians together and
cheerfully shouted: "Hoya, Hoya!" Encouraged by such a cry, Senator
continued: "We will build new schools and modern hospitals!" Indians
more loudly shouted: "Hoya, Hoya!" prides itself senatro said:
"Believe us! We care only about your well-being "loud
"Hoya, Hoya!" Shook the air.

Left very satisfied with the meeting and the hospitality of the crowd, Senator
started to bypass the reservation. When he asked to see a herd
breeding cows, the guide said: "Of course, Mr. Senator, follow me,
but be careful - do not step in Joya! "
Joke #27397 —  
 
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Vacancy: Secretary is required (a girl) to service the apparatus
CEO.
Joke #27396 —  
 
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When, in 1960. NASA astronauts preparing for flight to the moon
Some exercises were conducted in the deserts of Arizona in the territories
Navajo Indian reservations. Once, an old Indian with his son grazed
sheep and came across one such team. The old man, who spoke only
the language of the Navajo Nation, said a son, who said
in English: "What do these people in big white suits?" One
member accompanying the team told him that they practiced for
flight to the moon.

The old man asked if he could send them to the moon spoobschenie.
NASA officials smelled a good advertisement and quickly agreed. They gave
old tape recorder, and he recorded a short message on the Navajo language.
The son refused to translate it into English.

Later, representatives of NASA gave a message to listen to other Indians
Navajo. They all laughed, but none of them did not want to transfer
old message in English, referring to the difficulty of translation.

Finally, representatives of NASA turned to the known
Professor of linguistics,
specialist in Indian languages. He listened to the message, laughed
translated: "Lunar brothers, watch for these people in both eyes - they
came to take away your land! "
Joke #27395 —  
 
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Tips Pythagoras. ------------------ 1. Do not lie with no acute need. 2. Do not talk behind your back that you can not tell in his eyes. 3. Know what is good in you and that should be corrected. 4. Find one or two close friends whose opinion you value in particular, and listen their advice. 5. Suppose you do not care what they say about you gossip. 6. Think about how others act, but no one to imitate. 7. If you think, speak, say - do. 8. Do not give empty promises not to transfer other people's fantasies about someone. 9. If you hear libel suspend it or go away. Play gossip and silence dishonor. 10. Not save someone who does not ask for help. 11. Do not be afraid of truth, afraid of silence. 12. Not back, remember - the past can not fix.
Joke #27170 —  
 
0
 
How to identify cat-lover? 1. When he sleeps, he almost did not budge. And certainly never moves toes. 2. If the sleeping cat-lover put a heavy object, it will be all night take care that the object is not dropped and not moved. 3. If you throw a cat-lover in his sleep on your stomach that something pretty heavy, he smile and mutter, not waking up: "Oh, played out fine!" Come on kitchen - I want to sleep " 4. In the morning, not razleplyaya eye, he goes into the kitchen and looks for a long bowl, to fill them. Even if it's not him, and are found on it from the animals only cockroaches. 5. Sickly mouse slippers causes aelurophile emotion. Rat -- admiration. 6. You would think that he always has a cold - because Come to room, he immediately accepted to cover the doors and windows locked. 7. Leaving the restaurant, he will definitely make a piece of meat on the table - "Do not We enjoy a delicious meal. 8. If you submit to the beer chips and cheese, it will be all evening snack Only something one because the mix of dry food and nature can not. 9. If you want to show that his wildly jealous, just describe it shoes. In another way, he does not understand.

(c) fridka
Joke #27169 —  
 
0
 
Questionnaire psychiatrist. 1. What "voices" they hear dumb, if they are sick? 2. As one neuroleptic medication may cause direct opposite reaction: "constraint" in some, but "neusidku" from others? 3. How do I stop enjoying the patient's life (remember the term or say what hyperkinesis gipobuliya, pareydoliya, hypesthesia, mutism, anankazm, puerilism, spar), if it is considered a mental disease? 4. How to treat peversii (sexual misconduct), if the surgeons made sex change operation? 5. Assign medications that are permitted limited double than the maximum period (see instructions). 6. Assign medication Correctors (tsiklodol, imipramine, etc.), cause mental disorder, disorientation, hallucinations (see instruction). 7. Why do patients not lost chelovechevkih qualities can be isolated life, and the punishment for pedophilia is limited only few years? 8. How to rid the team of "soul collective" (gipertimichny type psychopathy)? 9. Replace the power pills in case the work is estimated below subsistence. 10. How to cure the patient, if known, the modern system Psychiatry is not effective at all 100 percent? 11. Protect the patient from the encroachments of the doctor on his apartment. 12. How to punish having lost touch Aesculapius? 13. How to treat a psychiatrist, if he mad? I know the answer only to the last question ... - Fun, of course.
Joke #27168 —  
 
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Lukashenko has read in a book that one king liked to dress simply farmer to go to the villages and find out what people think about him. For example Lukashenko has shaved off his mustache, wore jeans and went to a pub. Over the counter he asked the guy what he thought about the president. Responsible: "I would have told you that I think of him, but there are many people around, it dangerous. Let's go out into the street, and I'll tell you. " They went out into the street, the man looked around and said: "No, no, there still can not tell you, and suddenly, one hears that then it will be with me? Let's go into the woods, and I'll tell you. " We went into the dense forest ... Lukashenka ended patience: "Well, what do you think about our president??" The man, looking around, whispering: "You know ... I like him ... Only Hush!"
Joke #27167 —  
 
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