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Constantly expanding range of products sausage factory
products "Kolbazer and son. Masters sausage range not forget about
improving product quality and constantly improve it. Thus,
based sausage "Amateur" created a new sort of "The lover", and from
"PhD" sausage made cervelat "Candidate." Particular demand
enjoys salts "Postgraduate" on the basis of sausages "Student" and
liverwurst "Corresponding member" on the basis of "professorial" sausages.
Fire office in the State of Emergency: "Redeemer of salary arrears.
Armenian Radio asked the Americans after the elections in the U.S.:
- How could you elect a president, idiot?
- We are such a rich country can not afford even that!
Yesterday the State Duma again, a fight started between the deputies. Pity is
pity that the deputies have to sort things out with his fists and spitting.
And all because of the fact that the Duma could not carry nor cold nor
Once the President of Russia Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin
telephoned U.S. President George W. Bush.
- Folodya, congratulations on receiving an Oscar!
- Do not Oscar, and Askar. Askar Akayev, he!
Guy says to his wife:
- I want to take a photo of your breasts and hang it in the box!
- And I, dear, I want to take a photo of your penis and enlarge it
- Doctor, the patient of the 11 th Chamber feels better already: today
- And what did he say?
- She feels terrible.
At a press conference as coach of Russia on football ask.
- There are many anecdotes about the speed of the Estonians. You going to ...
- Yes, of course I know the stories about the speed of the Estonians. But I think
somehow catch up ...
"Even the walls - and they have ears," - comforted Cheburashka Krokodil Gena.
I recently purchased a home theater. In the first row of chairs are now
the boys sit and guzzle candy, on the second - his wife and mother-in-nibble
seeds, on the third - my wife and I drink beer, back on the couch kissing
daughter with a friend, and behind the couch dryuchatsya cats.
He was on life so unlucky that when he bought shares of Microsoft,
company declared bankruptcy and closed ...
In the control sit two:
- Vova, you write something?
- Pancakes, I also now think that it wrote off!
What makes a German, if he beat the hooligans? - Call the police!
What makes an American, if he beat the hooligans? - He takes home a gun and
running their own punishment.
What makes the Russian in this situation? Runs on anekdot.ru and writes stupid
jokes about bullies ....
And what does the Russian revolution after another near Russia? They write
anecdotes on anekdot.ru, then all the other levers of influence they drank.
Deodorant replacement ozverina: "Ax-Effect".
The prosecutor acts on TV:
- Criminal law. Criminals previously convicted, will soon be
found - a result are LITERACY professionals.
Cultural man has never hurt any politician, except that from
soul wish to him: "May you vote on the forehead grew!".
Popal Jew after death in hell. He saw his lead did not go where the rest
sinners, to the hotel, and a black fence with barbed wire, with
machine-gun towers around the perimeter, which bypass the guards with
sheepdogs, and on the gate says "Everyone - my!". We went inside, and there
filthy barracks, the crematorium chimney smokes, and SS treated Jews
in full. Screams, cries and moans - all as it should be in good
- Where are you I was brought here as a concentration camp? - Asks Jew
- And to him and say: - A forgotten already, as you and you like the Russian people
tortured? So that is - for you. As you hristoprodavtsami, differently and
Announcement. Dear citizens! City fire of 31 March
accepts applications for fire fighting in 2005. Hurry! On objects
not included in the plan, visits will not be!
In the world of interest.
Did you know that a game of "noodle" from the names of the president can
up only three words: type, dumb and pip?
One microbe met another and said:
- You have a bad view ... How do you feel?
- Do not come close - he answered - I think that I have penicillin.
MTS - people say. Not only sounds no fig.
One man said to God:
- You know, not one you can create something!
- Yes? Interesting ... - Said God.
- That's it! You created man from the dust of the earth? I, too, can it
do! - File Type man and bent over, picked up a handful of earth.
- Wait, wait! - God said, - Use your land, please!
"Internationale" was invented by Americans.
Well, judge for yourself, everything happens on one and the same of what was intended
scenario: "The whole world of violence, we will destroy to the ground, and then - we have ours,
build our new world, who was none - that would be all. "
That only ending is not all worked out.
Weather in the house for tomorrow: cloudy day, evening elektrosolnechno, precipitation
in the form of dust and crumbs, the wind window-fortochny, impulsive, three or four
"bl $ qk, and Come Close in a minute, the temperature of the day
night Truth maechnaya, frosts are possible from the wife and scumbags with
the neighbors ...
- Why Akayev left the government building through a back yard, not
through the front?
- Because even if he went through the front, it would be sent
the rear of force.
quote :"... fell loaf on the grass, with grass on the track and rolled over. "
And who said that he would not addict!
Yesterday, the slaves of Rome came to the rally to protest against the uprising of Spartacus at
south of the Roman Empire. They carried signs - "Spartacus - a secret henchman
Carthage "," Carthage - hands away from Rome "," We are your faithful servants --
Rome "," Patricia and riders - our wise leaders, "" Long live
the slave system - the most advanced and correct. "At a rally in
Coliseum was written statement of protest against uchastivschihsya
anti-constitutional rebellion of slaves. "We demand that all conflicts
between slaveholders and slaves solved only in the legal field, in the court
patricians. "After that, a crowd of slaves, chanting" Long live the great
Rome! ", Under the supervision of the gladiators had gone home. Caesar and the Roman
The Senate expressed satisfaction and said that such law-abiding and
patriotic slaves does not exist anywhere in the world. All the slaves as a reward
given extra bowl of bean porridge. Also announced that
maximum number of lashes as punishment will be reduced
from 40 to 38. This news caused great satisfaction among
broad masses of the Roman slaves. They expressed deep gratitude to Caesar
and the Roman Senate for paternal care.
In Russia, a revolution is impossible ... without vodka!
Sitting at Putin's dacha Shevardnadze, Kuchma, Abashidze and Akayev.
- Let's drink to our host. He supported us when it was
Rose Revolution in Tbilisi, where was the Orange Revolution in Ukraine,
was the Tulip Revolution in Kyrgyzstan ... - Listen, Volodya, you can do
... The third time the old man came to the blue sea.
Blackened blue sea.
He began to click goldfish.
Fish swam up to him and ate the cursor.
European operator Vodafon decided to enter the market of Russia under some
alteration of trademark, which undoubtedly will be a success --
Riddle: President-sign language translator
Question for TV Show:
"Waste in the toilet" - a progressive method
a) canning apples
c) the fight against terrorism
Actually priebalty - three different nations: doebalty, neebalty and
The latter specifically brutally oppressed ssusrusskih - no piss, you know,
President Bush was invited to the Congress of Indian tribes in Arizona. He
spoke for nearly an hour about his future plans to raise the living standards of all
American Indians. He mentioned that in his tenure as governor
Texas, he voted "for" 1,237 times on all initiatives
aimed at improving the lives of Indians. While the details of the plan were very
vague, President Bush enthusiastically talked about helping
After the speech, the representative of the tribes presented the President an honorary
letter, which was written in his new Indian name - Running
Orel. President is very pleased.
Later, after the departure of the presidential motorcade, a group of reporters asked
and the leader of one of the tribes, why the president came up with this name. He
explained that "running an eagle, a bird call, which is so full of shit
it can not fly. (Note: English. The expression "full of shit" --
"Full of shit" - is used to denote liars and dreamers).
If the word "Putin" read Conversely, you can learn many new things:
for example, that could not read ...
Why smoking in the toilet pulls?
Right! Unite "Oil Tanker apple!
Nonsense two kinds: simply stupid and clever stupidity ...
Many Russians are hoping for a miracle ...
MIRACLE - well-founded exceptional threat - terrorism.
Putin can safely remain president for life!
There is che6mpionat world who drink more. Released fraentsuz drank 30 stemware
champagne and fell from a chair onto the floor. Carried without much difficulty. Issued
Germans drank 40 glasses pipva, fell on the floor barely carried from the stadium.
It appears San Sanych. I drank 60 glasses of vodka and fell to the floor. Tried
make the stadium, but so INE carried.
President of Russia Vladimir Putin in connection with events in
Kyrgyzstan: "I officially declare that the events in our sister Kyrgyzstan
is nothing but the paid share, behind Russia.
Direction in the first place, against all the brotherly Russia
people ... Moreover, according to reliable information, in this large
Central Asian states, must soon be skull-caps and boots
U.S. production that nedvuhsmyslenno gives us all understand who is behind this
is ... "
Riddle of the latest news:
For the Germans - the philosopher
for Kyrgyzstan - sugar
for Russian - Air Base
for an American - 3,14 of Building
Answer: Kant (Cunt).
- Do not be ashamed to be late for work?
- It's a shame. But I followed his wife to work.
- Is commendable. But why so long?
- And she ... came up against.
Ideal creative Sorokina: at the Bolshoi - "by and large, on the stage
Small - "the small".
Zurabov as a minister - the largest terrorist attack in Russia's history.
Why opazdali back to work?
- Yes, but cork is to blame.
- What, it was impossible to overtake?
- No, it was impossible not to step ...
Neanderthals and Cro-Magnon man despised called them subhuman ...
Since then, as invented blow job, woman, no need to remember the word
Close, close holiday, in which even the orthodox Buddhist obsessed
the idea of jihad, has the right to get drunk so as not to distinguish right hand
from the left. According to the program "100 to one of" 99 Russians out of a hundred happy
holiday and will celebrate it. Only one respondent said he did not
can he lead the meeting of the government, and with a hangover - uncomfortable.