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The gun, which hangs on the scene in the first act, as you know, in Russian
Theater in the last act, shoot, and in India will sing and dance.
In other theaters, it will:
- In German - marching,
- In French - to cook
- In Italian - will love
- In Turkish - something to build,
- In Polish - someone will sell Palace of the street in Warsaw,
- In the Jewish - PhD
- In Dutch - kurnet,
- In Spanish - surrenders siesta,
- In Egypt - cajole tips
- ...?
Joke #27762 —  
 
0
 
Meeting a lost tourist with a mermaid doubly pleasant: here you and
love, and the ear!
Joke #27761 —  
 
0
 
- Tell me, your dog will not eat me?
- What are you only ponadkusyvaet.
Joke #27760 —  
 
0
 
Polish Jew after emigrating to Israel - the ex-pan-Zionist.
Joke #27759 —  
 
0
 
Warning But from 1 February to 1 March by buying in our showroom
Mercedes, Oku you get a gift!
Joke #27758 —  
 
0
 
Somehow, the phrase "The professor blocked the students on the exam sounds
quite ordinary, but "student blocked the professor after the exam"
cause a violent reaction.
Joke #27757 —  
 
0
 
Announcement.
To test the next installment of experienced car automaker needed
another batch of experienced drivers.
Joke #27756 —  
 
0
 
If you go to hunt for Godzilla - the chances of 50 to 50: either he'll ...
or it you - depends on the sex Godzilla ...
Joke #27754 —  
 
0
 
Modest girl invites a guy in the guests at tea.
It comes with two bottles of cognac.
She: - I'm inviting you to tea!
He: - Well this is ... You said herself that the tea ... this is where it is here ... --
Pulls from his pocket tortured toffee: - Here! Candy with cognac!
Joke #27753 —  
 
0
 
-Why is the Jews have stopped going to the Ukraine?
- Difficult to steal, after the new president is nothing neostaetsya
Joke #27752 —  
 
0
 
Latvian arrows did not have time to understand why the Georgian athletes
came to the shooting range with daggers.
Joke #27751 —  
 
0
 
Americans arrived in London and died of starvation, not found anywhere else letters
M.
Joke #27750 —  
 
0
 
Agency to carry out mass entertainment events
Located in a picturesque corner of Washington, is holding a contest for the best
script for the festivities "Belarusian-potatoes. Winner
competition will be awarded the honorary title of Mr. (Miss) "Rubber Mace"
and given the right to it and its members free access toilets chain restaurants
"MAKYAZVALDS. POPE SHA
Joke #27749 —  
 
0
 
What brakes should be players Sat Russia, if they played with Sat
Estonia draw?
Joke #27748 —  
 
0
 
Self-respecting beer producers always do two classes: light --
home, and dark - guest.
Joke #27747 —  
 
0
 
From the pre-election speech V. Zhirinovsky:
"You have me in a fight not seen - I was soooo pussy!"
Joke #27746 —  
 
0
 
April Fools' audacity

1. Russians! We meet adequately the 60 anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz!
Retirees rot alive!
2. Retired! Sacrifice discount tickets to veterans
defeated Germany!
3. Atheists and atheist! Assign the pope an honorary title
Kashchei Immortal "
4. ORDER
Their Imperial Majesties, is no longer an autocrat Malorossky,
Baltic, Transcaucasus, etc., etc., storm Grozny,
benefactor of Yukos, the patron of independent media, massovik unprecedented
victories, joker incredible feats and chronicler of unprecedented achievements
enlisted life janitor at the club, Baron Munchausen.
Signed: beg. VOKhR post-Soviet jail H. Pizdyuk.
true: Generalissimo mental hospital head physician VV M-th
(inaudible) today - everything!
Joke #27745 —  
 
0
 
Entertaining sociology.
If you take and prosecute Abramovich, Avena, Berezovsky, hogs,
Gref, Gusinsky, Koch, Nemtsov, repairs, Reiman, Resin, Friedman and
Other thieves will disappear not the current government of Russia. No,
disappear so-called "Russian anti-Semitism."
Joke #27744 —  
 
0
 
All that I put on the post, I spread the fifth and the twentieth.
And all that I laid I put every day.
Joke #27743 —  
 
0
 
Previously he was a mere Shrek, but once he fell under the rink. Look at
Video: "The Green Mile-2"
Joke #27742 —  
 
0
 
If you stole a million-share with the administration of President ...
Remember Yukos!
Joke #27741 —  
 
0
 
Windows XRen!
Joke #27740 —  
 
0
 
Brawl in the State Duma: beaten Zhirinovsky threatens prosecutor
top.rbc.ru

battle for the title of court jester in the light heavyweight
Joke #27739 —  
 
0
 
Retard cops black BMW, and there are four debila sit (type of EURO 2004
Portugal go) Well let cops saying the documents show, registration certificate and
everything.
Looked, checked. It feels good.
Then one of them asked:
- And what you have in the trunk??
One of the morons responsible:
- Duc, polkillo cannabis wrapped in newspaper Ha-ha.
Ment:
- That's good! And we already thought his throw.

PS Those who dogodalsya - SUPER! Those who do not - nothing, all the same
cool sounds.

ZOLTAN
Joke #27738 —  
 
0
 
They talk to two friends.
- You what girls like: blondes or brunettes??
He thought so.
- Nymphomaniac!

ZOLTAN
Joke #27737 —  
 
0
 
Brawl in the State Duma: beaten Zhirinovsky threatens prosecutor
top.rbc.ru

Parliamentary hour on RTR then you can not skip the children's time.
possible. section of sports viewing.
Joke #27736 —  
 
0
 
General Inspector came to the military unit. Decided to sleep in
barracks. At night, wanted to use the toilet. Sits on the toilet, and here "grandfather" opens
window and climbs AWOL. General asks:
- Where are you going?
"Father" groped in the darkness of his bald head:
- Shut up, greenhorn, and then you'll muster up my point with a toothbrush to scrub!
Joke #27735 —  
 
0
 
There are two:

First:
- Listen, Kolya, I'm going to America

Second:
- When?

When the accumulation of money
Joke #27733 —  
 
0
 
Brawl in the State Duma: beaten Zhirinovsky threatens prosecutor
top.rbc.ru 30-03-2005 12:19

Theoretical arguments Gradually began to subside, and by unanimous consensus
hand moved to the practical fight.
Joke #27732 —  
 
0
 
He was so unpleasant that when in the mountains shouting "Me!" Sent him to the echo
for x # st.
Joke #27731 —  
 
0
 
Anna Herman out of the bedroom Yanukovych, and sadly sighs: - And I,
fool thought he was big, like Africa ...
http://censor.net.ua/
Joke #27730 —  
 
0
 
Yesterday slave Spartacus stormed the besieged city of Rome. Purpose povstannya
slaves was to establish a democratic regime. The election for the post
President of Rome instead of Caesar - Nero. And the privatization of circuses.
The government of Carthage to recognize the new government of Rome and had
financial and material support to a young democracy. Specifically
government of Nero was allocated 100 000 tonnes and 60 000 kirosinu
Tug. And slaves sent 10 000 swords and 20 000 copies and darts, and
as new uniforms gladiators

Nero, playing with flints said after Karfogena that such patriotic
slaves does not exist anywhere in the world. And also supported the proposal in karfogena
development of global economic integration policies of various countries. After
What personally fire the first barrel kirosina.
Joke #27729 —  
 
0
 
It's a shame not even the fact that our team will win the World Cup,
only when the cancer at Mount whistle.
It's a shame that the whistling of cancer on the mountain is only one of the necessary
conditions.
Joke #27728 —  
 
0
 
The king was a problem: every time his daughter kokgda hodtla vtualet on
large, it does not use toilet paper, and finger and then
rub him on the walls of the toilet. Then the king decided to heal its kaknibud
daughter. And he took the decree: the one who will cure his daughter from the disease,
receive half my kingdom and a princess to marry, but if not - the head from the shoulders down.
Arrived at the palace, three young - yes guys removed: German, American and
Moldavian.
First, a German, made a toilet made of brick.
- Will be smooth, thinks the Germans, and can not wipe your finger on the wall.
So he did. But in vain, the princess did not prevent and brick walls.
And the king cut off the heads of the Germans.
The day had its American forces and makes it from the toilet
glass.
- To be transparent, thinking American, and the princess would be ashamed to
similar.
But, again, in vain, and cut off the king's head and an American.
The time has come and Moldavian and decided to make a Moldavian toilet of thorns.
- Will the prickly, thought Moldavian, and when the princess wants to wipe
finger on the wall, she scratched and had forgotten how to handle such a bad
habit.
And here comes the princess in the toilet, does its need, wiped his finger and
on the wall, but here she is scratching his finger, shouting "oh mama" and puts his finger in
mouth.
Joke #27727 —  
 
0
 
That's what Berezovsky over the hill, that Putin was not asleep.
Joke #27726 —  
 
0
 
That's what the revolution and there, to the oligarchs did not seem life a raspberry.
Joke #27725 —  
 
0
 
Every person butcher their own health.
Joke #27724 —  
 
0
 
Archeology News:

As shown by recent excavations of the Kurile Islands, they
concurrently are still Vypivalskimi.
Joke #27723 —  
 
0
 
It was Putin General Prosecutor: "To judge encroaching on Chubais
bound by the jury "-" Vladimir Vladimirovich, but they --
people from the street, is acquitted, the scandal will pohlesche than with the court on Zasulich in
1878 "-" Provide a conviction ".
The next day the Prosecutor General reported: "guilty
unanimously! Only the prosecution had to clarify: A. Performance
negligence. B. failure to invest contents. B. Abuse of People
confidence!
Joke #27722 —  
 
0
 
In Armenian Radio was asked: "Why in the nekoryh CIS countries have abolished
"summer time"? A radio: "For a long time to explain where the origin of the circle at the clock
especially if the arrows drunk!
Joke #27721 —  
 
0
 
The 35-minute match Russia - Estonia national team striker Sychev, Russia found
Estonian national team goalkeeper by surprise. Such a kick in the butt not goalie
received, probably from childhood.
Joke #27720 —  
 
0
 
Two hours of the night. Heart-rending phone call pulls me out
sweet, sweet sleep.
Lifted the receiver: - Yes!
In response to a drunk tits, hoarse male voice: - Masha me ...
Our apartment Masha offspring was not. I asked: - And you what number
typing?
And in response peevishly and angrily: - Yes, I have nothing to type.

Igor (www.levitski.com)
Joke #27719 —  
 
0
 
With the coming of spring Geri, American manager of the Moscow Branch
Company PW, went out to dinner in a quiet park in Moscow. There he is
looked impressive in his smart suit among grandparents with grandchildren and
domino-old men. In Russian Jerry knew only two words: "Gut"
and "Thank you".

And once he returned after lunch with bulging eyes.

- Well, - said. - A lot of what I saw in Russia, a strange, but this ... in
the first time. Sitting on a bench and have lunch, then runs up to my old lady
such a handsome, well dressed. And suddenly yelling in English
right into my ear, "Kiss my ass" (Kiss my ass). And ran on.
So she ran for about five minutes on each park and counter-shouting the same
thing - Kiss my ass.

Mark Shtilkind he says:
- You know, the old lady on the street would yell anything. But to make
this is done in English, has never believe it.

And we went into the park to check the story Jerry. They went to the domino and
ask if they had seen there an elderly woman who was running along
Square and screaming.

- Yes - answer, - was there alone. Shouted and left.
- And that she cried? - Ask a deserted heart.
- Yes, a cat she was looking for her and shouted "My Kitty."

Igor (www.levitski.com)
Joke #27718 —  
 
0
 
Great demand the production of butter factories.
Extraordinary Congress of Soviets, on the systematic evasion
dues.
It goes without saying - a great product! - Praised personal
of the neighboring army unit that uses the products for dairying
of an authorized shine their tarpaulin and yuft boots.
Joke #27717 —  
 
0
 
Putin:
- I decided to pay the participants of the Great Patriotic War of 1000 rubles, the participants of the first
World War II, 10000 rubles, well, and participants in the Kulikov battle, so
and be on 10000000 rubles ...
-I -
Joke #27716 —  
 
0
 
New world achievement

... weightlifters for extra-heavy weight category, weightlifter
Fedor Funtikov - 252,5 kg!
This is 0.5 kg more than the dead weight of the previous record holder.
Joke #27715 —  
 
0
 
At the tactical ruse went to coach "Bulldog" Bob Slay. To
shoot down enemy with a brain, all the planned replacement players were
produced them before the match.
Joke #27714 —  
 
0
 
Friend - girlfriend: looks strange, if you dust bag on
head fuck!
- Fu-y ... Calmed ... And then some crazy on the way to work on my
head dropped a pot of flowers!
Joke #27713 —  
 
0
 
Creative growth

Noticeably added over the years, the writer Gorshkov. Now he signs
their product AA Gorshkov.
Joke #27712 —  
 
0
 
Did you

... if tomorrow will train yesterday, today Anna
Karenins tomorrow will be the lions Tolstoy?
Joke #27711 —  
 
0
 
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