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Still, the Germans thinking more parallel than the meridian.
Osterman and Westerman is, and Zyuydermanov and Nordermanov no.
Democracy was not invented by slaves. She came up with the people tortured freedom.
Arshavin is the zenith.
According to Gazprom, the main shareholder of Zenith, he managed
agree on contract terms with Andrei Arshavin. All finanasovye
Simultaneously, the representative of Gazprom reported an increase in the cost
gas for Georgia to $ 230 in 2007.
The cost of gas for Ukraine, Georgia and other countries in the next
four years will depend directly on premium paid Arshavin.
In connection with the withdrawal from circulation of coins in denominations of 1 and 5 cents, a network
shops "Kopek" renamed to "dime".
What distinguishes the Palestinian Territory from Russia?
In the Palestinian people are resisting ....
Russia, Israel expelled diplomats accused of spying. Today
morning head Sanepidnadzor Onishchenko checks the quality of circumcision in
Moscow synagogue ...
Putin was reported that Ukraine wants Russia to recognize
Holodomor as genocide against Ukrainian people. He calls
- Vitek! Have you heard about the Holodomor in Ukraine?
- E-uh ... Hint understand! Make!
Vanished domestic goat. Distinguishing features: a stubborn, likes beer and goats,
ring on his right hand. Returning home - Fee.
To make successful people, the press calls them differently than others:
Entrepreneurs - tycoons,
actors - stars,
whores - socialite ...
- Why do men always grows cool beer belly?
- Because when you have in your household have a good copy of the valuable
mechanism, it has to be built over the roof.
Gynecologist noticed that the girl who came for a visit very tense,
therefore decided to slightly ease the situation. He showed her his hands in
rubber gloves and said:
- Do you know how to make these gloves? Somewhere in China is a huge bath with
latex and uneven-aged Chinese dipping there hands, Drying,
ready-made gloves and throw them in the boxes with the appropriate size!
Female only frowned.
A minute gynecological work as she suddenly burst out laughing! Doctor
- What's funny?
- I can imagine how do condoms.
In a psychiatric hospital.
- Why did this patient ever fart?
- This is a new character in psychiatry, he considers himself to Gazprom.
Islam - it is such a peaceful religion, that if you show someone
middle finger, you need not fear that you are in the hearts of obmateryat in
answer. You just killed.
Mean binge science. Recently scientists in Kiev pests brought the pig
consisting of pure meat. Not an ounce of fat. Immediately thereafter, they
were severed amok crowd.
Suitable two to the bar in the hotel (as a hotel).
- What is room in this svinapnike?
- For one pig 40, and for two - 80.
Only by pirates sum of Bill Gates still climbs in
though any sensible framework.
Three-room apartment on the 6 floor on fire. At the same time 7
floor three-room apartment water pipe had burst and flooded
entire 6 th floor. Not lucky in one thing: the fire was in the house number 15, and the flood in the house
Russia has two options - rolled back into stagnation or decline in sediment ...
Some mechanical toys contribute to increased sexual
activity in women. The greatest success Porshe 911 Cabrio.
You have not yet sent 5 wrappers cubes Maggi? So send faster
but we have not wrapped in anything
- What you give just a sandwich with his bare hands?
- Yes, my hands a hundred times cleaner than the floor on which he was lying!
- Prikin, read horoscope, but it says that I had sex today
a diver. What nonsense.
- You know, and nothing we have today sat down to fish near that diving station.
Now we have President Vladimir Putin and we are trying
double the GDP.
They say that the next president will be Dmitry Medvedev.
Hence, we will double DAME? Interesting possibilities open up ...
Call from Vladivostok Mission Insurance Company in
- You know, here we want to insure the car ... but something in it
- And what?
- Well, you know, the Toyota Camry left-hand drive ... Is this the case?
- Vasya, why do I was not jealous?
- Well, like, I'll give you in the face?
- Honey, where's my gray sweater?
- No it.
- What do you not?
- Release ...
- You're crazy!
- He was an old and terrible, in front of people uncomfortable ...
- What are you talking about? Five years was a beautiful and suddenly became terrible?!
Goes Chukchi car.
GAI slowed him:
- You have exceeded the speed.
- However, the wind was fair.
- Dad, and we have been in the family of the Medici?
- No, no ...
- Dad, maybe Borgia were?
- No, it was not like ...
- And maybe even, well, there Sheremetyevo, Shuvalov, Dolgorukiis ...
- No, you do - golimy proletarian blood!
- Who the hell, why am I then so hochetsa wife's mother to poison ...
With age, sex becomes only more varied: each time denying
It turned out that his friends, after they started to call each other --
gentlemen, do not stop after this less crap in the state.
What is a bas-relief of Marx, Engels and Lenin?
Serpent Gorynych photographed on a green card.
The birds flew away to the south: and all would be good, but it's poultry!
Soviet troops had broken through into Berlin. In pharmacy flies zapyhavschiysya
soldiers, teaches master pharmacy automatic and requires a drink.
Frightened by the pharmacist at a loss - he has no alcohol and he was terrified
soldier pours sulfuric acid. He grunt, drank, and ran on
their business. After a while he stopped short of need, and,
as usual, got on his boots. Boot immediately razelo.
The next day he again broke into the same pharmacy. Prepared for
day German poured him a stockpile of pure alcohol. The soldier drank, went
on the street, poured on the boots and not seeing results, swore:
- It must be the same, the second day in Berlin, but they are here to breed
If you feel for a wine, the main thing - do not turn around, stand up so
- Here eat a cutlet for my grandmother.
- ... (smacking and silence)
- And here's a pickle for the pope.
- ... (smacking and silence)
- But the sausage for my mother.
- Blyat! Dad! I am already 30 years old, and you give me all this thrusting!
- Do not yell at my father! I know you 30, but you're not fucking eat,
Two dogs, Moscow guard and a taxi, walking through deep snow.
Storozhevaya: "I am myself all the feet frostbitten.
Dachshund: "I used your problems.
My husband is about the beauty salon, waiting for his wife. That goes out and smartly
- Well, how?
He looked up and said:
- Well ...! You at least try!
All men wishing to go to college trade, necessarily need
take place. Otherwise they will go into the army ensigns and still
realize their potential in trade.
New "Chappa" with meat Koreans!
Feel the taste of his enemy!
Posted by writer-book "Enemy of the People Chubais. He read it and filed in
court. Dali peasant year. Another writer found out about it and decided to write
book "A friend of the people Chubais. Written and Chubais and take him to court handed.
Dali 10 years. He asks: How is it for "public enemies" year, and for
"Other nations" - 10 years? The judge replied: year gave an insult
personality, and you are in my book begin to explain what people
Chubais is a friend, and that is extremism.
Woman to start talking, cause you do not. But to finish
say, necessarily need a reason.
Talking with mothers-in-law:
- When I was young, I was so stupid!
- Religious, you are very well preserved!
Why is it always so - the New Year waiting, waiting, and March 8, as always,
unexpectedly was coming ...
Brushing in the kitchen is the twentieth fish, his wife says with exasperation to his
her husband, a fisherman:
- As a human you ask! Fishing PEI VODKA!
Our task - to find and dishonor!
The main thing in life: to be born at the right time from the correct place.
My friends, never marry a silly girl!
Just imagine the level of insanity wife
which will be waiting for you in old age.
- You would not believe, today saw an intelligent man in the mirror!
- I believe, and what did not turn around?
She only pretends to believe in a promised her golden mountains, and
only in order to not look like a whore.
Any foreigner who has visited Russia, necessarily would learn two phrases:
spasibo and pozalusta. A must have been in St. Petersburg will say:
"Zenit - chempion!"