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- Razor "Gillette" shaved in the morning till evening order.
- Russian machine "Satellite", shaved, and the bristles of a month is not growing.
Yesterday looked Petrosian. Laughed. I feel nothing.
Handbook for Beginners millionaires. Contents:
How to get a million.
How not to get a term
How to get amnesty.
How not to get another term.
How to get a prestigious place in Vagankovo.
From the book of problems in graph theory:
One of the heroes of the reality show "Dom-2" contracted venereal disease.
After some time, all the heroes of the reality show "Dom-2" will be hurt by this
Superaktsiya: Buy one for travel on public transport and get
sponge for shoes, it's free!
In our planes there is no such thing as "economy class".
There is a "business class" and "business failed.
KVN team Abkhazia
One lives with his wife - to drink every day, do not give. Live alone --
nothing to bite.
Chchcherti that ..
- What we have today a holiday?
- Day of sobriety.
- Here, for this and have a drink!
Nine out of ten Russians would like to change their place of residence. Others
not want to leave Moscow.
Questions to the President:
- Vladimir Vladimirovich, and why we sell the oil abroad, not
petrol? As long as we remain a raw materials appendage of the West?
- Ha. You have to ask why we are abroad we sell non-ferrous metals, but not
Windows: Are you sure you want to delete the selected files?
Windows: It's too late ...
On a different note the day of national unity Russians: one arranged
laser show, others released doves, and others were marching, quite
unknown, as noted by the fourth, fifth, sixth, etc.,
but drank ALL.
Anti-fascists on the same area, the nationalists - on the other, the Communists - in
Third, the Liberals - in the fourth. Between them - riot that did not break
each other. Nothing can separate the nation as National Unity Day.
Armenian Radio asked:
- What is the difference "Russian March" on the gay pride parade?
Armenian Radio answers:
- To participate in the "Russian March" is not allowed homosexuals other
In Russian, one problem: all the other fools.
We do from any Patriota Goat! UAZavto
And the Dead Sea was once alive.
Discovery Channel does not represent
How good to me with a goat is ...
In this quarter, WHA launched 4000 vehicles. Expressed in kilograms,
it would be about 4000000 kg / s.
- Dear visitors, come in! Boots do not remove, and then you have socks
Company "IBM" has developed a new model of portable toilets.
Representatives of Russia Chess Federation were pleased.
"The only hope for" IBM "- reduce the size of the toilet tank and
increase the amount of memory, "said Russia's representative.
In Russia, appeared, finally, the domestic manufacturer of GPS - the company
"Right road". Address: Russia, Kostroma, ul. Ivan Susanin, 13.
Beru "help the club "!!.. - Capitulated to his wife KVNschik Sidorov closer
in the morning ...
Comes in a sadistic theme shop:
- I'd like a whip more serious ...
- Handcuffs, wax candles, needles ...
- And the gag is the most reliable.
- Sorry, gags over.
- Hmm? (thoughtfully ).... Then the ear plugs!
birthday friends (because she is 3 years older),
day when the broken scales
antenna does not catch the channel "Sport"
- You're in what year was he born?
- In 1980.
- So you ... 26 years.
- No, 25.
- And last year, I had not noticed!
- Defendant, you acknowledge syabya guilty of raping his
- So I did for the cause, Mr. Judge!
- Lieutenant Rzhevskij! You would like to once again become a child?
- I would like, but with today's member!
- He was killed by a blunt object ...
- Hey, you tell me where are you calling from? No. Something is not defined?
- With an intercom system, you moron. The door was open, the third hour of standing.
- Totoshka, and you have some request to Goodwin?
- Just between us ... I want to Ellie has a dog!
- And you cho lybishsya, you're yesterday wheelbarrow tyuknul.
- Bumper crumpled.
- Glass shattered.
- Religious still banged his head.
The inscription in the licensed beer bar "Baltika": Exit the city through
You know what color-blind is different from the ordinary person? Normal people
cross the road at the green light, and color-blind - at the bottom!
Wife - her husband:
- Why did you come home yesterday at 5 o'clock in the morning?
- And where else in this city you can go at 5 o'clock in the morning?
Porn star came to the reception to the gynecologist:
- You can undress, doctor?
- No need, just yesterday I saw your last movie! ..
According to experts, the future car "Lada" fully conquer
world market of ferrous and nonferrous metals.
Married life is divided into 2 periods: before the wife called her husband
goat, and after.
Mongolia was once a beauty contest.
Do not criticize our public services, because:
- All grass-roots workers born in hot countries
- All the bosses live in warm countries
and they NEVER SEEN SNOW
Some college. Faculty, for example, philology. Group, where all the girls, and
only one guy. And this same guy after the 3rd course comes in
dean's office to collect documents. All in shock: a student - a straight,
Talent and all that.
- What are you so what happened?
- Yes, you know, the circumstances ...
- I know who does not happen, the family, yes? Yes, you do not hurry, we'll
underworking find at the department, you're such a capable student, the pride
- No, no family ... You see, in our group except me alone
- What are any conflicts? Let us, can we somehow be dismantled,
help, but the institute did not drop!
- No, no, what conflicts, girls are normal, and I more
busy studying. Only ... when the first year they did not notice me,
discussed the critical days and intimate details - I have this completely with
humor. When the second course when they corrected me and stockings
trying on bras - I too have nothing against. But when
third year I dreamed that I was walking through the city, and my arrow
pantyhose gone - I understood: it's time to fade away ...
Psychological test: how to distinguish from introvert extrovert? Very
easy! After a strong dose of alcohol introvert says shit about yourself
as an extrovert - about others.
The most popular name beginning stage performers: "Aetoeschekto"
GAI stops luxury car. Driving blonde:
- Girl, you just crossed the double solid.
- I what? ..
- You have crossed the double solid!
- Log off, please, from the car. Look at his feet. You see
Love, looking with horror at his feet:
- What? Two stripes? Oh, my God! I'm pregnant! ...
Symptom improvement of the domestic economy: officials began to take
bribes in rubles.
Last year, the Korean Red Book have been entered a few
breeds of dogs.
In order to safely evade creditors, Pope Carlo regularly
Pinocchio changed appearance.
- All waiting for the prince on a white horse? - Asked the queen for her daughter. --
Oblomov, we in Britain only the royal family!
They talk to the poor and rich:
- I do not believe that the love of money can buy!
- Well, for such money as you - just can not.
- No, I mean, love is so pure, disinterested ...
- Well, on this and I do not have enough ...
Woman HARD DISK:
She remembers everything and always.
She forgets about you once, once you split up.
Everyone knows that it is neither one thing can not be done properly
but no one can live without it.
They say that it is capable of much, but you use it for their four
It is funny, but anything will not do.
Difficult to find.
Always busy when you need it.
Causes horrible things look beautiful.
She's faster and faster.
Of the ten sentences spoken by her, eight - absolute nonsense.
Before you do anything always pobryuzzhit.
Woman FLESH CARD
Such women sometimes can be trusted to the innermost.
also known as the "wife";
when you do not expect it - it comes, is independently and
enjoy all your blessings. If you are trying to get rid of it --
you lose something, if you do not try to get rid of it - you
lose all ...