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Fool - a condition in which a man may dwell, unaware
about it, if he has no wife.
Women certainly know how to keep a secret, but together.
If a woman is given to men for money - hence, it is not a gift.
According to a survey conducted in Turkey, most of the population
profess ... tourism.
A trifle, but nice - thought a pedophile ...
- And what is the weather on the first date?
- And the second?
- And on the second - pilaf.
- Oh, what are your dimples!
- It's nostrils!
The boy in the minibus, carefully reading a textbook on biology.
- I think God still exists.
My mother just in case, looks around.
- Where did you get?
- Worms attach themselves to intestinal walls and drink blood, instead of
to eat a piece of shit. Mom, they are clearly someone that taught!
Every fisherman dreams to see the goldfish,
Every girl wants to see the fairy-tale prince,
Every young man wants to see the beautiful princess.
So let us drink CARROTS! It improves the view!
- What are your criteria when selecting galstkuka?
- When a budunischa, take the first got.
- And if sober?
- And on sober, I remember that the tie I have only one.
I know the measure: as soon as I start to pour into two glasses --
so enough already.
Junior naturalist approach to the butterfly:
- Well, cool I'll clave?
Cannibals are talking:
"When varish people in boiling water - the first time they could not stir.
They do it themselves. "
At that time, as the diver Sidorov jumps into nine speed
a ten-tower, unexpectedly went out of the pool water. But the athlete does not
confused and, using the lack of water, took another turn.
Battlefield. Many of the wounded groan, call for help. Suddenly hear
wheezing, then: "Yes, well, tries". Bang! And so a few times. Injured
diminution. I see a little girl, nurses, which is creeping towards
wounded soldiers who were trying to hoist them on yourself and carry. But wounded
big and heavy. The girl throws another wounded man wipes sweat
said: "Oh nach!" shot in the head and crawls to the next
- Can you imagine, my wife is straight as a mermaid!
- Yes, pancake, neither fish nor fowl ...
The markets began to sell the old fruit and vegetables at reduced prices
under the government program "Affordable punk."
That's interesting: the film "Fantomas huffed" is, and the film "Bush
rasfantomasilsya "- no ...
Moscow taxi drivers to a man threw a drink. No one can explain
why. Psychologists have decided to arrange the experiment. We put in an empty
room table at his unopened bottle of vodka and a glass. Run
taxi driver. He came in and licked his lips and left, not even touching.
- Tell us about your feelings.
- I went into the room. I see a bottle of vodka - I want to drink. I see - on the bottle
CORK. - It did not want to!
Police conducted a street manners. Tver successful arrest.
They were arrested, two prostitutes. After 12 blows with a truncheon, night
Butterflies have become nocturnal caterpillars!
Today, the building FOMC held defrauded picket bribes.
When conducting a sociological survey on the question of "what you buy at
last money? "received the following responses:
Controlling stake of Yuganskneftegaz - 33%
Apartment Rublevke - 33%
Oil well - 33%
Football Club - 1%.
Survey results show that the Kremlin is also conducting sociological
As Lenin said Krupskaya Krupskaya after the first
"Learn, learn and study again!"
Found an interesting logic to how the wife tells his mom
(girlfriend) on the phone about the events in his life:
Event: WIFE flooded neighbors (the vase broke, I forgot to buy cat food).
As reported: "We have filled neighbors" (broken vase, forgot to buy food
Event: wife walked the dog (bought food, washed the dishes).
As reported: "I walked the dog" (bought food, washed the dishes).
Event: HUSBAND assembled cabinet (bought the computer, repaired the lock on the door).
As reported: "We have assembled cabinet (bought the computer, repaired the castle in
Event: her husband broke away from the TV remote control (not made garbage, do not walk with
As reported: "He broke away from the TV remote control (not made debris, not
walk the dog).
Man earns mind, and a woman - her head.
Transmission on the radio. The caller asked to name the word that is not in
dictionary, but that the proposal might make sense. So call.
Moderator: Hello, who are you? - I'm Dave. - Your word? - Sholb. Spell:
W-O-L-B. - This word in the dictionary. You have all chances to win a stay.
Now tell meaningful predllozhenie with this word. - Sholb you on h.y!
Telephone call immediately terminate. Then transfer continues
through several unsuccessful conversations with callers. And another
call. Moderator: Hello. What's your name? - Jeff. - Your word? - Etsnovo.
E-C-H-O-V-O system. - Yes, a strange word in the dictionary. And the entire proposal?
- I Etsnovo. Sholb you on h.y!
- Vasily Ivanovich, you know that I have many years of living with Anya ...
- Of course I know, Petya!
- So, you do not mind if we get married?
- Of course I will not!
- Maybe if you stop every night to go with us
Russia - the native land of elephants! You laugh? Siberian mammoths have laughed too.
Walking on the street a pessimist and an optimist, and stepped in dog shit.
- Well, pancake, stepped in shit!
- But look, how fresh!
- And this one's shoe production?
- But, look, inside under the insole, it is written - Chinese!
- For normal people - German, but for the curious - Chinese!
Useful consequence of the theory of relativity. The higher the speed, the
If our culture did not say foul language, then say nothing.
According to statistics from an ace, king, jack and six in all four one
We used to frighten Americans weapon
now - refusal to eat chicken legs.
Post passed, vodka accepted!
Meet each other two drugs. One in the hands of the two forks. Second
- Che have you got that?
- Let's see.
- Na! inserts it into each eye fork.
- Do you know any Th-x .. do not see! ..
- Right now, the sharpness will bring!
Issue of the Armenian radio:
What subject will be needed in the next few days before the end of Light?
- And you Th so sad?
- Yes friends pinned the girl gave a rubber ...
- The fact of the matter is that girl!
- Guess the riddle - one hundred odezhek and all-ins?
- And what is there to think - 50 shorts, 50 shirts ...
The meeting of Parliament in Moldova was frustrated with the opening
construction season in Moscow.
At the last meeting Gos.Duma eliminated turnout.
At the next meeting of the deputies did not attend.
- Here you are, everything here. All three billion dollars. All to
the last cent, Russia's debt to the Paris Club. Please. Will
- No, no! I believe you. Congratulations, now you do not owe anything to us.
Repaid in full! No complaints. Well, what? Perhaps more
- A man should - give birth to a son, plant a tree, build a house, and you
- It is difficult, the State is not helping.
- It does not help? During the birth of a second - 250 thousand rubles for
construction of a house mortgage entered!
- Here! A tree with no dick does not help.
Every teacher must be prepared to ensure that any of his students could
become a school principal and even the minister of education. And then to not
indignant: "Why do we have small salaries?"
(c) Sj aka Zheleznyakov S, tfutyk, Zheleznyakov S aka Sj
- Our chief general, wife old whore.
- It's not old. It is a classic.
- You are a shark pen?
- No, crucian pen!
- Dad, why did the electrician dons rubber gloves on his hands?
- To shock did not kill, when he hands sunet in chuck!
- And, then, that's why he was yesterday in her mother's bedroom, put on pussy
Media reports: Today, the Estonian secret services after large-scale
raid finally disclosed the enemy network
Late winter evening. On the street runs over a naked man. Two passers-by
- Look: nudist!
- No, it is shorter total walrus. Tempered!
- You are wrong, - said a naked man. - I ran out of the casino.
Yes, life. Read the instructions on the use of enemas - are described, applied --
fuck up ...