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While officials think how to implement the instructions of the President of the improvement
demographic situation in the country, workers pharmacies already armed
Anesthesia was general, and the surgeon - a local ...
Avian influenza - Chickens revenge for his death.
Quarreling mother and daughter for 20 years. Mother:
- You are a young, inexperienced ... Yes, you're just stupid!
- Are you old and experienced a fool.
There are two blondes. One other:
- Listen. How tired of selling love. These mercantile relations.
Finding rich papochek with yachts and villas in Cannes. These bryuliki,
gold, a trip to Courchevel in the New Year. How do you want a simple,
love without money! To me, just loved. And so I just
loved a man and would be insanely happy! What do you think you can
Gazprom to find??
Germany, FIFA World Cup - 2006
At least this time we can be certain that
Russia's team will not return home in disgrace.
Rules football grammar:
1. If the gate hit the player of Portugal, it is written "Figo scored the ball."
2. If the gates of Russia beat a player, it is written "Fig kicked the ball."
"The Swedish trio, now and in the World Cup - a match in Sweden, Trinidad and
- Why is the team of Serbia and Montenegro national team lost to Holland?
- Because of the players have played for Serbia, the other for Montenegro.
Bad is the resident who does not dream to become president.
A few days ago for the theft of nonferrous metal in the suburban towns was detained
some Valery Meladze. His crimes evidence is not needed,
because he has repeatedly in public, admitted that "thousands of times interrupted
Lesson of Russian literature. The teacher asks:
- Little Johnny, why do not you learned a passage from "Eugene Onegin"?
- Niasilil, patamu that verse.
Many students who had to read 4 volumes of "War and Peace"
regret that Pushkin was killed in a duel, but not Tolstoy.
Famous porn actor Rocco Sifreddi told reporters that he was
surprised that in Russia he learned on the streets:
- I was happy to shake hands with strong, calloused hands of my fans
Asked about the reasons for his departure from pornography famous porn actor
Rocco Silfredi correspondents replied curtly: "Zae6alsya!"
Comes to the reception Lavrenti Pavlovich Alexander Pushkin.
- For God's sake, help me. In the Writers' Union did not accept, I live in
communal apartment, the conditions terrible.
- Alexander, our dear fellow. But for you, our genius, we all
solve these issues in the two accounts.
- Hello! Connect with the Moscow City Council. Beria said. Yes, yes, the same one. What
is an outrage! Why Pushkin - and lived in a communal? Are we not in
able to give him an apartment? You think about it! Yes, and think not very
Puts and again picks up the receiver.
- Hello! Give the Writers' Union. Are you there, all crazy? How so?
Pushkin - and do not accept the Union of Writers. Immediately fill in this
- Well, - he said to the great visitor. - All right, go
quietly and work quietly. You can be assured that we will be hurt
will not let anybody ever.
- I appreciate you premnogo, Lawrence P..
Pushkin comes out of the office. Beria once again picks up the receiver.
- Hello! Dantes? Pushkin came out of the Ninth Door.
Described by Joseph Raskin
Igor Sharp - a person of MTS.
Buy a grandmother, two SIM cards MTS! Let feels grandpa!
To assist an applicant. Unit stuffiness = "one bzdyn.
This is when the ax from the platinum-iridium alloy, weighing one kilogram,
freely suspended in a room at a height of one meter from the floor, hanging
exactly one second.
But ears a woman loves YOURSELF !!!!!
Putin, speaking to writer Paulo Coelho, noted that Russia and
Brazilian people are very much in common. Especially with him agreed
The conversation on the site of a car accident.
- Have you signal?
- Before or after the accident?
- Prior to the accident!
- Of course, handed! I served three years signalman in the Pacific
Navy! And before that was a bugler in a camp ...
MTS offers new tariff:
"Quail" - for children under 5 years.
A new direction in science - erogenous Engineering.
This psychologist has to convince born to crawl in the wrong,
that he can not fly, but that he should not fly.
- And what will be a snack?
- Here pickled cucumbers ...
- No, I can not see them. Last cucumbers, as a child always
- A good that you have no surname Vodkin ...
Eighth-Michael does not upset to discover that the site
Shkolnitsy.ru no writings, no abstracts or presentations of ...
In disputes are born and the wall.
- Petya! You know, where alcohol is the strongest?
- Where, Vasili Ivanovich?
- In the ship's compass. There is so written, and - 360 degrees.
Mountaineer climbs up the hill, the top is a plate:
"Not to talk loudly, it is possible avalanche.
Next to the sign sits grandfather.
- Grandpa, who are you?
- I-grandfather zapadloooo !!!!!!
- My dog pictures wrote.
- What, butter?
- Well, if the oil feed, then - oil.
By advertising Beeline Live zero ":
You think you're all alone, but it is not - because you're a zero,
you complete zero. Because you are with Beeline.
Beeline. Full zero.
Instead of canceling the line "against all" in the ballot
include column "for all".
It is time to organize a party with a straightforward name
Against all ".
- Yes, in real life events are more truthful and interesting fictional
- How's that?
- And here prikin: Anna Kern, Pushkin gave, and Masha Troyekurov Dubrovsky
One British bank night alarm. The bandits broke into
main repository of the bank (history is silent on the technical details).
What a surprise it was one of the robbers, when the first hacked
safe, he saw a jar of pudding ... and second, and third ...
Police heard on the recording cameras: "If there is no gold and money,
so even nazhremsya on a freebie ... "
It was robbed Manchester sperm bank ...
In order to be called political correctness Cobra "afrozadnitsa.
Comes in. guy in the shop:
- Give me some brandy "Joyful Khachik.
-?? We have a no ...
- Well? There you've got a bottle - ARA FAT!
- Hello, we are a group "Guests from the Future" ...
- How are you, Alice, stout ...
- Excuse me, but my name is Eva Polna.
- And psevdonimchik too - so yourself ...
Money is like oxygen: it is - gasp, a lot - dizzy.
The student 3 dreams:
a lecture - a pancake, but when I devour!
in practice - a pancake, but when I sleep!
Session - pancake, well, when I'll die!
- Hello! This is phone sex?
- Yes, my sweet!
- Tan aunts - Call Mom!
- I wonder what dreams are the president of Russia?
- Shit. Do not believe it! To me, finally, stop asking stupid
(c) Sj aka Zheleznyakov S, tfutyk, Zheleznyakov S aka Sj
What would happen to the Jews, when Moses led them for forty years in the wilderness,
if they had a democracy, and could only be for two terms?
Feeling full solidarity with Mr. Gryzlov, suggest not
just cancel the line "against all" on the ballot, but
and in general they cancel all lines except one correct.
- Children, now Vovochka we read Mayakovsky's poem
"Cloud in Pants"!
- What nach?
Armenian Radio asked:
- Why are Americans constantly tortured prisoners of war in Iraq?
- This is done for their own good, that Iraqis are weaned from the old regime
not once, but gradually.
Most bad joke - that when played a joke on you.
Democracy he went sideways - through the kidneys. Then he decided not to go
Husband to wife, more convenient and as a mobile wallet.