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- Girl, how much does your service cost for the night?
- Two dollars.
- Why so cheap?
- Snore.
Joke #32193 —  
 
0
 
- Photos with a monkey do not want?
- No.
- A video?
Joke #32192 —  
 
0
 
May 20 left and never returned Malokakin Ilya Petrovich, so who else knows
funny last name - please contact 02.
Joke #32191 —  
 
0
 
There is the trial of rape. Judge:
- The accused, why you raped the victim?
- Your honor, it is nonsense whipped, and I was raped.
- And why was raped a second time?
- And the second time the same nonsense flogged.
- And a third time?
- Your honor, I think, you too bullshit whips.
Joke #32190 —  
 
0
 
Rublyad - currency, reflecting the full economic,
political and social situation in Russia.

Joke #32189 —  
 
0
 
In connection with the threat of an epidemic of "bird flu" the President of Latvia Varavika
Freiberg imposed a ban on imports from Russia candies "Bird's milk".
Joke #32188 —  
 
0
 
- The Orthodox Church has issued a set of "human rights". It prohibited
homosexuality and abortion.
- And how it was adopted by the population?
- Population is received with understanding: homosexuals completely
refused abortion.
(C) Robie
Joke #32187 —  
 
0
 
Quiet ride - beautiful in the coffin lay!
Joke #32186 —  
 
0
 
We were engaged in ever having sex on the phone? Cool, huh?
Now imagine a drink on the phone. Dials the destination number, you
responsible drunk, cheerful voice: - Hey, bro, what will you drink --
vodka, wine, brandy, whiskey or beer. Whiskey? Excellent! Here are the most expensive,
real whiskey. Oh, it plays like a fragrance, but what flavor! Well,
take care! Boule-glug-glug .... Well she did! And what is going to bite?
Oysters, caviar, osetrinki want? What? Pickle? Please! Hrum,
chomp, chomp ...
Joke #32185 —  
 
0
 
- Try to lay down the word HAPPINESS letters O, F, A, P.
- Wah! No problema!
Joke #32184 —  
 
0
 
Likely that the first primitive man picked up a stick, not
In order to bring down the ripe fruit, but in order to allow the head to the fact
who picked fruit before.
Joke #32183 —  
 
0
 
Repairs on the principle: "better than it was, as a rule, ends worse than
maybe.
Joke #32182 —  
 
0
 
Right, if the husband is positive?
If summon assistance rules of the Russian language will become clear that
"positive" is derived from the word "lozhit" and correctly: "put".
Hence the conclusion: a good husband - flexible.

Strangely enough, but the same applies to the wife:)
Joke #32181 —  
 
0
 
It was a three-bear cub: Umka, glupka and tupka ...
Joke #32180 —  
 
0
 
Said that in Moscow there were traffic cops honest - they are fundamentally
not take a salary!
Joke #31968 —  
 
0
 
Gos. Duma passed the first reading of legislation to ban indication of prices in USD

For violation of this law for the first time a fine is 100 USD,
If repeatedly - that is 300 cu
Joke #31967 —  
 
0
 
Hairdresser blonde:
- The girl before in disguise brunette you have thought?
- How is it??
Joke #31966 —  
 
0
 
- Hello! I would like to call his son, Sergei.
- Sorry, but that name is already taken, try another. Free,
example, Sergey2050, _Sergey_, Ser-Gay or Sergey-19.
Joke #31965 —  
 
0
 
Plumber finished assembling the shell in the psychoanalyst's office:
- I finished. Since you have five thousand rubles.
- You need money?
- Yes.
- You want to talk about this?
Joke #31964 —  
 
0
 
I have often wondered - why the flower shops for the convenience of not selling
preziki?
Joke #31963 —  
 
0
 
- Sons are mine! Old I was, and my wife is still young - she thinks it is! So
that bring me molodilnyh apples. Or some sausages!
Devour.
And hurry up, store up to seven!
- And where we find molodilnye apples?
- In molodilnike Shoot!
Joke #31962 —  
 
0
 
Unicum! Freshly baked engineer S. Moshkin scratched with a nail on the cut
grain of rice and all that he learned in university.
Joke #31961 —  
 
0
 
- Lovely. What are you all silent and silent. Tell us what you think.
- You know, dear. Now if the Earth and the moon wrap copper wire in
several layers, then the result would be a bad alternator.
- Again you smoke all sorts of rubbish. Fu. No variable, and constant.
Joke #31960 —  
 
0
 
ITT We keep millions of eggs!
Joke #31959 —  
 
0
 
New REALITY show construction battalion-2. Before they built the love now
build them.
Joke #31958 —  
 
0
 
2100. In the Dutch Episcopal Church fierce debate about
possibility of recognition of opposite-sex marriages.
Joke #31957 —  
 
0
 
Encouraged by the results of the referendum Montenegrins went further,
divided into the Republic and the Republic of Black Highlanders.
Joke #31956 —  
 
0
 
In Estonian schools canceled physics, so as not to traumatize the children the concept of
"speed".
Joke #31955 —  
 
0
 
Almost wine resolved the conflict in the CIS. Now Georgia exports
wine in Moldova, Moldova and Georgia. There remained one last question: Abkhazia
and Transnistria terbium charges VAT in your budget.
Joke #31954 —  
 
0
 
Organizing Committee of the Moscow gay pride parade has extended an invitation to participate
State Duma, the traffic police and the College football game.
Joke #31953 —  
 
0
 
Government is working well ... That people live poorly, because
does not work in government.
Joke #31952 —  
 
0
 
MTS - enzygotic operator.
Joke #31950 —  
 
0
 
The girl is knocking at the doors of wealthy houses:
- Hello, and you do not need a babysitter?
- You know, and we have absolutely no children.
- Yes, okay, they have me with him.
Joke #31948 —  
 
0
 
They talk to two friends, one the other complains:
- You know me yesterday in the train robbed acquaintance: she was alone in the compartment with
some peasants riding in the morning waking up - neither the men nor the purse;
and
in purse money was gold.
- Oh, yes you that! Woe, then what!
- Yes ... should, perhaps, in the old money in stockings or pants to hide,
there just will not find.
- Well, at the expense of stockings do not know, but in just his underwear will!
Wind said, www.vetroff.ru
Joke #31947 —  
 
0
 
People who call pi $ DU caps, lazyat it is not the place.

(c) IzhStyle
Joke #31946 —  
 
0
 
Vegetarian soup is nutritious, if it put a little
beef.
Joke #31945 —  
 
0
 
To find out whether salted soup, omit it two electrodes,
and let them talk on. If you are the smell of chlorine - means soup already
Ambassador.
Joke #31944 —  
 
0
 
Duty hangover - day after three.
Joke #31943 —  
 
0
 
The Da Vinci Code "- a pathetic sleaze! The author even unaware that, except
Catholic, Orthodox, there is a secret society "Chrotogonus dei"
and secret society multikulturnotolerantnoe "Office-gay.
Joke #31942 —  
 
0
 
MTS. People scratched.
Joke #31941 —  
 
0
 
- Ugh, what nefarious chemistry radiates from your new Chinese shoes!
- Nothing, a couple of days the smell of socks pereshibet this filth!
Joke #31940 —  
 
0
 
Luckily, when no need to lie, that you are well.
Joke #31939 —  
 
0
 
Coast of Florida. Huge black pelicans fly under the clouds and
breakneck speed dives to the ground. Sound from the open beaks, as in
Time airstrike. Pindos scattered in panic on the beach.
Russian tourist asked the Americans, what kind of a miracle of nature.
- Well you have a song that Russian soldiers during World War II in the ground
Your perished once, and turned into a white crane?
- Well, there ..
- Well, and German, too, you know .. Now a good time, bitches.
kmatros
Joke #31937 —  
 
0
 
You serve in the Israel Defense Forces, if:

1. You call his commanding officer by name.
2. You know that three of the most powerful man in the army - a physician
psychiatrist and a rabbi.
3. You forget that public transport is worth the money.
4. Are you sure that if I went back during his call, you will b
slopes of the army.
5. Although before Dembele you come idea of the type "but not so here and
bad "and a desire to sign a contract for several months.
6. But do you think of all the officers n% @ Aras, and Prapor - garbage
society.
7. P% @ Aras and dregs of society you also think the military police.
8. Order a pizza base - quite a normal practice.
9. And in nearby pizzerias have special prices for the soldiers.
10. You are serving far from home, if your base to more than one hundred kilometers.
11. White Renault Megane or Kangu cause you association with the army.
12. On the ride you can reach anywhere in the country.
13. Although if ostanavlivaetsya white Daihatsu Applause, better not
sit.
14. You prepared a plan to the commander on the day of mustering.
15. But on this day you have a joyful and pleasant mood, and
want to do anyone any harm.
Joke #31936 —  
 
0
 
2010. MTS, inspired by the excitement around the eggs? conducts new
rebranding, the main character of which - xy @.
"It brings the whole universe. Millions of them. Your best" - commented
new idea of the press secretary, President of MTS.
Joke #31935 —  
 
0
 
Usually you support when they do not want you to fell the wrong time.
Joke #31934 —  
 
0
 
Aliens - not those who came, and those who leave you.
Joke #31933 —  
 
0
 
Question about the Armenian radio:
- Can pass a test machine?
Answer:
- It is possible, but a grenade launcher - reliable ...
Vovochka
Joke #31932 —  
 
0
 
- ... Hello! This restaurant "Pleasures of the East "?...
- YES! Eat you?
- Will ...
- Hello!
comedy clab mc dag
Joke #31931 —  
 
0
 
- What are the similarities between the Ukrainian government and Russia's soccer
team?
- Productivity.
(C) Robie
Joke #31930 —  
 
0
 
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