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Flying saucers have a property to contemplate people suffering from poor
vision, a good imagination, and so weak will, that is not
able to engage with alcoholism, even when going on a crusade for
hallucinogenic grebe, the burning peat bog, densely
hemp.
Joke #33125 —  
 
0
 
"There was a woman of trouble, bought a pig" - sighed Dima Verner, opening
Site Anekdot.Ru

Pig on the main page grinned cheerfully.
Joke #33124 —  
 
0
 
From a modern point of view Yanukovych can not be considered criminal
simply "occurred nesanktsionirovvany selection of hats in the
Ukraine, in connection with the sharp drop in air temperature.

www.censor.net.ua
Joke #33123 —  
 
0
 
Negotiations in Ukraine and Russia on the Black Sea fleet is finally over
signing of an agreement under which Russia would pay the company
"UkrRosFlot" for $ 230 from each sailor Black Sea Fleet of Russia in the year. In turn,
mixing personnel cheaper uzbeksmskimi, Kazakh and
Turkmen sailors, the company UkrRosflot will pay Ukraine
95 $ for every sailor. The headquarters of the Navy Russia insists on
a joint venture with the company UkrRosFlot "under
50% to 50%.

www.censor.net.ua
Joke #33122 —  
 
0
 
Putin on the phone:
- Set aside the version with the stone! For all channels to declare - it was not
stone, and the head of Ukrainian cheese!

www.censor.net.ua
Joke #33121 —  
 
0
 
Vladimir Putin:
- We do not pick out the gas price for Ukraine from the nose! We culturally
are consuming it from the finger ...

www.censor.net.ua
Joke #33120 —  
 
0
 
Yanukovich stands for a new European security system with
the participation of Ukraine and Russia - The story of the wolf with the goat cabbage
guarded.

www.censor.net.ua
Joke #33119 —  
 
0
 
Putin asked: How do I solve the problem of lack of democracy in
Russia's army?
Answer: The problem of our army - not in a democracy, but in the demographics!
As my teacher used to say Sobchak, in our time is better daughter, a prostitute,
than son draftee!

www.censor.net.ua
Joke #33118 —  
 
0
 
Putin: "I have gas prices for Ukraine does not pick out from the nose!"
"Ukrainian Pravda:" Putin pick out the price of gas is not from the nose ... "

www.censor.net.ua
Joke #33117 —  
 
0
 
Due to the recent incident with shpionskskim stone, Russia's FSB
interested in the book Harry Potter and the philosophical stone. So
moment there is suspicion that this book is an instruction to the stone.

The same KroN
Joke #33116 —  
 
0
 
December 31, 2007. 23:50. New Year's address of the president. Putin:
- I will be brief. I will not run for a third term. I'm tired. I'm leaving.
Yeltsin:
- The Russians! I rested. I come. That such a flourish turns out,
ponimash.

Ultimate
Joke #33115 —  
 
0
 
- Let's go to war against the Moldovans.
- It is useless, Mr. President - they are building faster than we
destroy.
- Then we go to war against the Chinese.
- It is useless, Mr. President - they are born faster than we
kill.
- Then we go to war against blunt amerikosov!
- Mr President, we are the stupid amerikosy ...
Joke #33114 —  
 
0
 
If yours chase striped things - sign up to the number 0550
and stop using drugs.
Joke #33113 —  
 
0
 
What: "put all three holes and dropped!"
...
BOWLING!
Joke #33112 —  
 
0
 
Public tent ...
Joke #33111 —  
 
0
 
In the latest edition of "Dictionary of the Russian Language" was broad
dissemination of new sustainable expressions: full Ksyusha, an avowed
Ksenia Ksenia and stuffed.
Joke #33110 —  
 
0
 
In Armenian Radio asked:
Why metallistki wear on his head and other parts of the body
various skulls, demons and other symbols of death and Satan?
- For the contrast. Looking at them, people realize that there is something much
worse than death and the devil.
Joke #33109 —  
 
0
 
I agree to be even Piggy, if only I put him to bed
Oxana Fedorova.
IzhStyle
Joke #33108 —  
 
0
 
The boy asks her mother:
- Mom, why is the cat drinks water from the toilet?
Mother:
- Because the water in the toilet is clean and cold!
The boy, thoughtfully:
- Yes? .. And how do you know that? ..
Joke #33107 —  
 
0
 
Morning. Shepherd's hut. Suddenly, he jumps out of the sheep and flees into the herd.
After half a minute in there and the shepherd himself, stretches and says with
regret, looking her in the following:
- Ah! If bi ti still varyt know how ...
Joke #33106 —  
 
0
 
Yesterday, the FSB found another spy rock and took him
for questioning. After hours of interrogation stone split.
Joke #33105 —  
 
0
 
How to enjoy your time in Germany

1) Walking through Berlin with a red flag.

2) In each city, where you'll stop asking
Guide: "But where's the monument to Zhukov?". When he goes out of
ofigenno, ask: "And Stalin?".

3) T must also be intensely red with white writing
"Mamma Mia!". Possible in Russian - will understand. Where did they disappear.

4) In the supermarket, buying some food product, politely
wonder how much it cost in the 45 th year. When you call
price, get angry, and shouted: "Do not lie, my grandfather is quite another
told !!!".

5) For every polite smile and the German "bitte" answer first
"firpiss dich" ( "Come thou"), looking at the dilated pupils add "ficke
dich "(" psholnah "), and then, just before they begin to call the police,
make amends for the situation with "oh, bl ... danke shoen" ( "thank you").

6) The Germans are very fond of the song about the Guards MLRs. Yes, yes,
which "blossomed apple and pear. They are especially fond of when it is sung
a) at night, but still
b) waving a red flag to the same
c) from the dome of the Reichstag.

Do not deprive them of pleasure!

7) By the way, came to the rescue of Police may declare that you have not found the second
column on the left of the words of three letters written by your grandfather, and therefore
require monetary compensation for such a mockery of cultural
values. (money will not give - not America - but ofigeyut).

8) Find a red T-shirt with the inscription "Hitler Kaput!" German.
To approach to some gray-haired old man in military uniform and ask
transfer, and then you do not understand German. When translated,
follow step 5.

9) In the supermarket to communicate with sellers only phrase: "Grandma, hammer,
yayki, schnell, schnell. "

10) run up against all the fat Germans advanced age, and with
open arms shouting: "Parteigenosse Borman, how is it that I have
just do not know! . If the elder is in the form, can be done n. 8.

11) go up to the police and politely ask, where is possible to park the
tank.

(c) Stasische (http://stasische.livejournal.com)
Joke #33104 —  
 
0
 
most real in our country a way to earn an apartment - give yourself
publicly cut eggs
Joke #33103 —  
 
0
 
For explanation of Russia's commercial mobile operator:
2 more strips - and we'll be together!
Ha - prayer girl, longing to be married by aerial?
Joke #33102 —  
 
0
 
Khodorkovsky looks advertisement: "Striped things will be yours, from gifts
not run away! "
Joke #33101 —  
 
0
 
Three major questions of modern woman:
1. To give or not give?
2. To buy or not to buy?
3. If you take, then swallow or not swallow?
sent: N_91
Joke #33100 —  
 
0
 
So, dear listeners, in Moscow exactly 9 am. Temperature
of minus fifteen, east wind 5 meters per second.
Impeded the movement of vehicles on the outside of the Moscow Ring Road, on
Kutuzov Avenue in the direction of the field and on the inner side of the Garden
ring. Cekretnye operations of British intelligence services today are conducted in
Fili on VDNH and Falcon.

www.msk2004.narod.ru
Joke #33099 —  
 
0
 
- Little Johnny, give an example of the alternation of vowels in the roots of words.
- As two fingers Marivanna!
Janitor ice tunic, and dog ice broken off. Vasche something they love to shit in
child sandbox, but not always specifically reaches.
Joke #33098 —  
 
0
 
Putin vykolupal gas price for Ukraine is not from the nose ...
Joke #33097 —  
 
0
 
To Text:
film "Bastards"
Producer: scoundrel
Director: Jude
screenwriter: liar
Operator: Blind
Installation: Dorenko
audience: Lochy
Joke #33096 —  
 
0
 
In the State Duma introduced zanonoproekt "Reduction of character state
compliance with the state system. "proposed new:
name of State: Basmanskaya Empire
State flag: a uniformly gray cloth of rectangular shape
Emblem: withered tree in the background of fallen leaves
Anthem: B. Grebenshikov "I obey the city heart-rending cry idiot ..."
Joke #33095 —  
 
0
 
The new Ukrainian translation of the Bible, only 9 commandments.
Joke #33094 —  
 
0
 
Criminal incident. Is becoming more so-called "bases on
roads with the participation of the Georgian armed gangs, accompanied by the withdrawal
vehicles. Due underdevelopment binding
public insurance of private vehicles in Georgia, undertake:
produce increased protection of personal transport up to 30
people, to increase the firepower of up to 5 heavy machine guns, 5
flamethrowers, 5 assault sniper rifles, and laser devices
targeting. Additional information as aggravating circumstances.
Joke #33093 —  
 
0
 
Air flights will be safe when during the flight will
skip the movies-crash with a plane crash.
Joke #33092 —  
 
0
 
Following orders from the company to tighten control over the visit
sites revealed that the most visited site by a wide margin
was rabota.ru
Joke #33091 —  
 
0
 
Putin announced that he would not nationalize the oil and gas
Industry:

... and what it nationalize? She's my ...

mb
Joke #33090 —  
 
0
 
- Aaaaaa, help, on my computer a black screen ..
- Do not worry, he is in sleep mode .. Move the mouse, he
wake up ...
- Oh, Che-he did not wake up and hums badly.
- Well, this is a long time he's asleep probably snore ... Click Reset:)

(Hello Nizhnevartovsk! Zabudkin LM)
Joke #33089 —  
 
0
 
On the question of the correspondent of the Japanese inform. Agency of the dates and
future transfer of the Kuril Islands of Japan's GDP, said on
meaning, something like ....
- These questions kondochka not solved, will go next week ...

- And that I submit my Emperor?
- Our heartfelt greetings!
Joke #33088 —  
 
0
 
Epiphany frosts convincingly proved: piercing not for Russia's winter.
Joke #33087 —  
 
0
 
- How is the love of rape?
- Vaseline.
Joke #33086 —  
 
0
 
Son kazhe to dad:
- Tattoo! Devil climbs into the house!
- Do not worry, synku, Abi not Moskal!
Joke #33085 —  
 
0
 
Journalists asked George Bush the following question: - Do not have a
U.S. State Department, Pentagon and new types of space weapons
NASA-based direct relation to flooding in South-East Asia,
earthquakes in Iran and the prolonged period of winter cold in
in Europe?
- U.S. will always use the latest achievements of scientific and technical
progress in all countries to impose Western democracy,
declining population of the Earth and enslave the entire
humanity ...
- Bush said, and combed his head, and not whether he blurted out something
superfluous.
Joke #33084 —  
 
0
 
At pres-conference, the President asked:
Why are lecturers and professors have promised to raise salaries in January and
increase in November?
Answer. And the Government believes that we are still not enough to take revenge.
Joke #33083 —  
 
0
 
For a huge contribution to the development and popularization of Russian language and literature
at the present stage, for the many days of culture and literature, for
increase the number of publications of scientific and educational articles on
Problems of study and development of the Russian language media
information, decision of the President of Russia, the city awarded BABRUYSKU
title of Hero City Nah!
Joke #33082 —  
 
0
 
Conversation:
- When will the winter?
- The day after tomorrow!

MORNING PUDDING
Joke #33081 —  
 
0
 
- Pap, and the spring is?
- No, son, this is fantastic.
Joke #33080 —  
 
0
 
Women are three of us are friends to gather together to discuss the third.
Three men are friends, not to seek a third of a bottle.
Joke #33079 —  
 
0
 
When entering Ksenia Sobchak in the horse stables on the sly bellow.
Joke #33078 —  
 
0
 
how do you want from the DOM-2 to make a DOOM-2!
Joke #33077 —  
 
0
 
Face mask: Take the sauerkraut. Falls on the plate.
Watered sunflower butter. Cabbage is eaten ...
Person blissfully smiling and refreshed.
Joke #32860 —  
 
0
 
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