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Neurologist gives the patient a pill from nerves:
- Well, now swallow, old man, swallow quickly! ... Swallow !!... Yes
SWALLOW quickly, you bastard!
Joke #33975 —  
 
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Recipe:
Pickled apples "Putin"
We take a kilogram of apples, well into my running water, go to
john ...
Joke #33974 —  
 
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Others - the ones who know how to enter the twilight without a half liter. (c) IzhStyle

Joke #33846 —  
 
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Cartoons - is an indicator showing that the society is holy, who It has real power. For example, in the Arab countries can not print cartoons of the Prophet and Allah. In the United States and Europe - a caricature of Holocaust. And in Russia - at the crime bosses ...
Joke #33759 —  
 
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We Russian, so sick of this vodka! Snakes! She was a thorn in sit! But it is difficult to admit to myself ... Yes, and image support necessary. Do not let yourself dry!
Joke #33758 —  
 
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Ksenia Sobchak Strikes Back! See the new show on television: "Eldorado-2.
Joke #33757 —  
 
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Gazprom - the sponsor of the Olympic flame in Turin. (Ed Lokshin)
Joke #33756 —  
 
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Ages: Orthodox Christians in the Crusades kill Muslims for the Damned "Holy Sepulcher" Our days: Faithful Muslims kill Christians for the Damned "Mohammed" FUTURE: Faithful Yankees ...
Joke #33755 —  
 
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And let a little'll cover our gas and then look at your Olympic flame-thought Ukrainians looking opening the winter Olympics.
Joke #33754 —  
 
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Sponsor of the Olympic flame - Russia
Joke #33753 —  
 
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Clinging to a popular theme, would like to announce a competition for the funniest anecdote about Ksenia Sobchak. Having read the available, decided to announce the simply ridiculous anecdote about Ksenia Sobchak.
Joke #33752 —  
 
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Here is an example of how life can be useful in mathematics. Bloggers with Site Elements. Ru (elementy.ru) puzzled conditionality wiseacres from NASA: landing capsule, which will deliver to orbit the Earth dozen eggs, breaking with no more than half. What is not clear? Requires capsule with a capacity of 6 astronauts. In calculating the weight of the crew to assume that three of them - were women.
Joke #33750 —  
 
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By Deribasovskoy is an old Jew, to meet him, boy pointing to the unbuttoned fly says: - "Uncle, you've got there kind of cloth hanging. Old Jew, looking down: - "Trapochka, trapochka. Formerly it was THUNDERSTORM Odessa, but now trapochka.

Chaim
Joke #33749 —  
 
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Dom-2 "with something like" In the world of animals. "

(c) IzhStyle
Joke #33748 —  
 
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His wife returned home late. Husband asks: - Where have you been? - Now I'll give you a tip-off. - Come on vodka and then you can not talk.
Joke #33747 —  
 
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Still, it is true that people are much smarter than animals. It's in dogs Pavlov was so simple! And we? Drank - sick, drank it - sick, and so - ad infinitum. And no you conditioned reflex ...
Joke #33746 —  
 
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- I would like to live and die, as Bob Dylan! - So he's not dead ... - Here I am about the same! (http://levitov.livejournal.com/)
Joke #33745 —  
 
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Mad cow sneeze fly over the city and aiming at shitting Pedestrian ... result of crossing ptichnogo influenza with cow rabies.
Joke #33744 —  
 
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She told Maria, a native of Moscow - a guide to Barcelona. What do the Catalans when cold - buy heater What do the Catalans when frozen - sit on the heater, What do the Catalans when teeth do not fall - include heater into an outlet.
Joke #33743 —  
 
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Met two secretaries: - Well, how's your new cartridge? - And, do not ask! Looks damp! How many hours or struggled, never shot!
Joke #33742 —  
 
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The girl complains: - Oh, I'm so beautiful, so beautiful ... that no one notices what I clever! (http://levitov.livejournal.com/)
Joke #33741 —  
 
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Expensive Muscovites! Throw a globe at home in Moscow. If I tell you that I live in the north-east, it is not Medvedkovo, and Magadan!
Joke #33740 —  
 
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With frenzied trees attacked returning from work alcoholic Sivushova. One of the trees, the victim managed to apprehend and deliver to the department police.
Joke #33739 —  
 
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Brown-haired blonde and repainted in the same day to find the pillow her husband Female dark hair, gave him a huge scandal.
Joke #33738 —  
 
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- What is water? - Liquid, son. - And what is liquid? - One of the states of matter, son. - And what is the substance? - Well, at ... This matter. That's all that surrounds us, son. - What is matter? - Fuck you to hell, son ...

Joke #33737 —  
 
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The world community has categorically demands from Russia to provide them enegreticheskuyu security and give the oil and gas voluntarily because:

- You put Khodorkovsky - You do not have democracy - You catch spies - You have a lot of oil - We'll give you a lot of portraits of American presidents - You have a lot of gas - You have imperial ambitions, and you do not like that Ukraine is an independent country - You catch spies, and a stone complete bullshit, the British abandoned it but asked to return - Georgians do not love you because you blow up everything in its territory and not like Stalin, your women have stopped going to fuck in Georgia - You do not like the orange color and you put Khodorkovsky - State can not own oil and gas if Russia state - You catch spies - You do not like the Poles, they did not dostrelyali in the 19 century, your best predstaviteleyzh you saved them from the Germans, not once - You do not like the Latvians, their hands were not nailed Tambov peasants and Cossacks - What do you need oil and gas, you're savages, we'll give you glass beads - You do not even know what to do portraits of presidents, we'll have them give - You do not like the Estonians, they began to fight for their independence as only ceased to be chuhontsami - You're white, you do not like Kondolina Rice - Bitches is cold - Still your nuclear missiles complete bluff - You hate the Tatars, Russian, Tatar and Russian have a thousand years - Oil and gas belong to the world, if Russia's oil and gas - Tolia well do something talk to Putin
Joke #33736 —  
 
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A person of Muslim origin.
Joke #33735 —  
 
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George Bush is a walking parody of the comedy "Pitkin in the hospital (such same brake). And his real name - George Bush the Younger Pitkin.
Joke #33734 —  
 
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New source of income in the budget of independent Georgia - income from registration Visa Rossiyskim peacekeepers.
Joke #33733 —  
 
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A casket just tear myself away ...
Joke #33732 —  
 
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Meeting in Moscow law enforcement bodies. Duty reports situation in the city. - The Iranian embassy put a notice on his door a placard: "Death to Jews and cartoonists. Any questions? Question from the audience: - A cartoonist is for what?
Joke #33731 —  
 
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When Pinocchio was a tree, he dreamed that all lumberjacks gave oak. So when he grew up, he became Minister drovoohraneniya.
Joke #33730 —  
 
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Live caricatures of our day: Philip Her_korov (cow dick), Alla Pugalo_cheva (whose scarecrow?), Irina Haka_manda (samurai vagina), and many others.
Joke #33729 —  
 
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Fradkov was ill, he was prescribed bed rest .. with Novodvorskaya.
Joke #33728 —  
 
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House 2 - hot House 2 - wintering House 2 - booze House 2 - opohmelka
Joke #33727 —  
 
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-Why Ks. Sobchak agrees to marry only for the wealthy man? - Duc, oats are expensive.
Joke #33726 —  
 
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Romney acknowledged Abramovich the richest man in Russia for 2005. He has already approved the construction project on the territory of the PT - 1410, the city Krasnokamensk, three-storey mansion with a swimming pool and a sewing workshop.
Joke #33725 —  
 
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Judging by the Duma adopted the law - it's time to rename the deputies "Anti-people elected ..
Joke #33724 —  
 
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"Destruction of Post Exchange, Manege, Moscow Hotel" and "Russia" - is only the beginning, only the first step. In the future we are going clean the city and the rest of the junk "- said Moscow Mayor Yuri Luzhkov, leering glances at the towers of the ancient Kremlin.
Joke #33723 —  
 
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To award the Mayor of Moscow Yuri Luzhkov Order behalf of Kaganovich outstanding contribution to the black business capital of architectural destruction Monuments and Sites (Fence Alexander Garden, Manege, Voentorg, hotels "Moscow" and "Russia").
Joke #33722 —  
 
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Bin Laden learned that Moscow Mayor Yuri Luzhkov of Moscow blows architectural monuments (Manege, Voentorg) and intends to demolish the hotel "Moscow" and "Russia", turned over the Internet to Luzhkov suggested help remove any unwanted items to the mayor of Moscow, at that Luzhkov replied: - "No, thank you, beating on its own. Caucasians in the capital much. .
Joke #33721 —  
 
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The situation with extremely low temperatures in Russia is taken under MES control. Santa Claus has promised to immediately improve.
Joke #33720 —  
 
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at a press conference one journalist sprsila Putin: "As in, why you both look good? ", to which he replied:" Who obkurenny? "
Joke #33719 —  
 
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-... color saturated, and you touch it! - These soft, silky ... - You see, and he told me: "sbrey, sbrey, chest indecent ..."
Joke #33718 —  
 
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February 23, Putin made a speech at the parade: Do not disgrace the heroic traditions of Russia's army! Bring up new Alekseev Maresyev and Sychev!
Joke #33717 —  
 
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Hello! Do you have CD-NE PIZDI-DVD-RW drives have?
Joke #33716 —  
 
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As fond of saying nurses from psychiatric hospital: You still boiling? Then we go to you!
Joke #33715 —  
 
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-Grandma, why do you always walk in this "Eldorado", because all Neighbors complain that the prices are not the lowest and discounts dummy! - Ah, granddaughters, nichyago you do not understand, as I'll come there, look at all these queues, the rudeness sellers, and so familiar, as if the youth returned, and I think that's what it grows and strengthens our Komsomol movement!
Joke #33714 —  
 
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Poor, poor Muslims Denmark first, then the Year of the Pig - 2007
Joke #33713 —  
 
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- Why Yushchenko does not go to France? - - He's afraid that it would take for the frog and let the delicacies.

- - Why Tymoshenko does not like to go to the cemetery? - - Do not take the competition of other "woman with a scythe!
Joke #33712 —  
 
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