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New best jokes, funniest anecdotes

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They come in the same compartment Russian and Ukrainian.
Russian asks:
- Guess the mystery. What a country: the president - a monster, two general
prosecutor and not a single government?
- But we have a juicy fat!

(C) Budyka
Joke #35859 —  
 
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At a programmer, even a cat purr "url-url-url ..."
Joke #35858 —  
 
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an Armenian Radio was asked why James Bond was an Englishman, and not
American?
- Could not find an American white, and yes even a sexual giant ...
Joke #35857 —  
 
0
 
Georgians rapes hohlushku-ta all resists, screaming, calling for help
past are Bendera: what are you yelling their fool ETOGES, and not any
Muscovites ..
Joke #35856 —  
 
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Riddle: "I think about the yin, yang scratches, produces rubbish. (Answer: Chinese
worker)
Joke #35855 —  
 
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Woman-heroine:
"For dear - ladies!"
Joke #35854 —  
 
0
 
On topic: advice from women's magazines.

..... If you want to create the illusion of the legs of the ears, pull strings on
shoulders .....
Joke #35853 —  
 
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Retro. Met Khrushchev with the Turkish leader, and he and
asks: "How do you do in the Soviet Union called minded silly people?
Probably, Vanya? ". -" No, we call them Turks. "
Joke #35852 —  
 
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How to get melted milk?
Cows drowned first, and then milk.
Joke #35851 —  
 
0
 
The collection of fairy tales for adults crept unfortunate misprint: instead "sent
on all four sides "should read" sent to all three letters ...
Joke #35850 —  
 
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Found a bum in the gutter with a bottle. Open - and it's gin.
He finds it and drank it.
Joke #35849 —  
 
0
 
Absolute guarantee of weight loss in one session!
The procedure for free!
You only pay for the flight to the International Space Station.
Joke #35847 —  
 
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- Why are you crying?
- Cockroaches tortured, and I bought a device that expels from the house
Parasites ...
- And what?
- Cockroaches anyway, and her husband left ...
Joke #35846 —  
 
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In working the dining room on distribution:
- Bread take you?
- No thanks, I already took the cutlets.
Joke #35845 —  
 
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Two peasants were sitting in a restaurant, one orders a grilled chicken, the second
asks:
- Are not you afraid of contracting bird flu?
Second:
- I am more afraid of a heart attack when she coughed on me ...
Joke #35844 —  
 
0
 
- What we have engaged the police?
- Maintain order.
- Answer right half. Can not protect what is not, so it
protects the disorder.
Joke #35843 —  
 
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The demographic situation in Russia is finally doing better. By
Scientists project ten years the birth rate is already twice as
mortality. The most popular names of babies will be: Rashid
Abdullah, Ibrahim.
Joke #35842 —  
 
0
 
One winter morning a couple at breakfast time listening to the radio. Announcer
announced: "Today falls 20-25 cm of snow. to park your car on
even side of the street so as not to interfere with snow machines. "
Norman's wife went out and overtake the car.

A week later, at lunch, they again heard the announcement: "Today
expected 25-30 cm of snow. To park your car on the odd side
not to interfere with snow machines. "
The wife of Norman's back went out and overtake the car.

A week later, same thing happened. The announcer declared: "Today is expected to
30-35 cm of snow. To park your car ... "
Suddenly the radio turned off.
Norman's wife turned pale, and with anxiety in his eyes said:
- My dear, I do not know what to do. Which side of the street I park
machine so as not to interfere with snow machines?
With love and understanding in his voice, like a true blonde's husband, Norman
replied:
- Sweetheart, why this time it did not leave the garage?
http://barada.ru/
Joke #35841 —  
 
0
 
after another hijacking.

- What's the difference between Russian and Jews?

- Jews are leaving, and Russian fly.
Joke #35840 —  
 
0
 
Anecdote for those who watched the old advertising Jeans, Jeans, and a new advertising
knows the anecdote about a dying Jew:

- Jeka there?
- There
- And Vic there?
- There
- A Ksenia there?
- Yes.
- And who was left on the sea?
Joke #35839 —  
 
0
 
When a kiss is passed 20 thousand microbes.
How many times can you kiss jar Domestosa, if you really want?
Joke #35838 —  
 
0
 
Confectionery factory again no luck. The original candy Bears in
pine forest, renamed the Bears in Sosnovka 1 and 3, in connection with
the decision of the arbitral tribunal temporarily until a new decision onogo Court
renamed Mishka in Sosnovka 1.
As a precaution, ordered the picture: Hinshtein got to Solzhenitsyn in
Sosnovka.
Joke #35837 —  
 
0
 
Dima Bilan is planning to speak in a striped under the gramophone.

Beeline - Megaphone
Joke #35836 —  
 
0
 
In an outburst of mutual love talking like a Ukrainian with Katsap (ie,
Moskal).
Ukrainetz: - And come on, katsap, doing nasty things to each other.
He was glad katsap: - Come on. Proposed.
Ukrainetz: - I'll - dick in his mouth, and thou to me - language in the ass ....
Joke #35835 —  
 
0
 
Recently viewed Maski Show me proponosilo.
Joke #35834 —  
 
0
 
Zoophyte! Tell a Bird flu: "No!". Beware of casual sex
ties with migratory birds!

Answet, www.SwingPlaneta.com
Joke #35833 —  
 
0
 
- Ale, girl! Do not prompt code Kalinin?
- Are you drunk? This is not a telephone service, is a hospital.
- Yes I am such a sober never been, give me a code, I decode
not!
Joke #35832 —  
 
0
 
Introduction: Recently, after a seven-year flight to land back
U.S. probe with samples of cosmic dust from the tail of a comet.
Word: By mistake NASA probe fell outside the U.S., and in the steppes of Kazakhstan.
Arriving at the place of incidence, the scientists instead of the probe by mistake took a hiding place
Kazakh traffickers. After weeks of research behind closed
doors, scientists have made a statement: dust really SPACE !!!!!

(c) Sergey from Ulan-Ude
zakamensk@mail.ru
Joke #35831 —  
 
0
 
In Turkey, the chickens began to ache. The government has ordered to destroy all chickens
in the country.
Now start from the same infection ache Turks ... Wonder whether
Government consistently enough?
Joke #35830 —  
 
0
 
- Dear! I too came from monkeys?
- Calm down! You - from the horse!
Joke #35829 —  
 
0
 
In continuation of a joke ... December about Bezrukova:

(Actor Sergei Bezrukov earned him notoriety, playing the role of a bandit
Sasha White in the series "Brigada".
Then he reformed, and played the role of policeman in the TV series "Land".
He then further reformed, and played the role of the poet in Esenina
eponymous series.
Then correct more, and played Jesus in the drama "Master and
Margarita.
Where next?)
Continue:
Then almost nowhere. Above the Son of God - only God Himself.
Therefore Bezrukova next role will be the last. He began acting in
the role of God in the film adaptation of the immortal creations Saparmurad Niyazovich
Niyazov's "My advice to God." Main role in the film - Turkmenbashi --
perform, of course, himself the father of all Turkmen.
Joke #35828 —  
 
0
 
... That's a fairy tale ending, and who listened to - so, too.

(
Joke #35827 —  
 
0
 
13/01/06 valiant warriors have lost some of the weapons on the battlefield.
13/02/06 At the other battlefield commander of the warriors found a bag of money,
potereyanny rebels.
13/03/06, General warriors were arrested at the airport with the money.

From agency: Between these events there is no connection
Joke #35826 —  
 
0
 
In recent years Moscow has been greatly reduced the number of foreign
tourists. It would seem, and here the vampires of the Night Watch and
Mobile vampires?
Mitka Golopupkin
Joke #35825 —  
 
0
 
Atomization of society so atomization - said the man and went to the booze.
Joke #35824 —  
 
0
 
The last stage ofigevaniya from idleness at work - this is when you start
read spam.
Joke #35823 —  
 
0
 
SMS to Mobile:
Lift your head, you will not see very well.
Sniper.
Joke #35821 —  
 
0
 
The inscription on the front men's swimming trunks: 5x Optical Zoom.
Joke #35820 —  
 
0
 
... and selected is the one who's wife - an American from the CIA.

Be patient. That owning a prime minister and his wife from the FSB and will live
in harmony.
Joke #35819 —  
 
0
 
All do have some charm when elected woman president.
People's nice to know that someone that the president still has.
Joke #35818 —  
 
0
 
He called Yushchenko old gypsy girl, the fate predicted. Ta, as expected,
pitched card and said:
- Waiting for you, falcon bright, big problems with the king of spades, which in
revenue building had once lived.
- Why did you, old woman, so that all and so well known, ace fool around?
You're the king of hearts about the reptile. Who is Julia Marriage?

Note. auth. BYT emblem - a red heart.
Joke #35817 —  
 
0
 
Finally I realized that I resemble a black and yellow stripes, which
colorblind from Beeline issue for the bee. This color potato beetle.
Therefore more informative call them "Colorado" :-)
Joke #35816 —  
 
0
 
- You still defile the marriage bed! I guessed what
might happen, but did not want to believe ... Get out! I do not want more
you
see!
Cat dived under the cabinet and hid in a corner.
Anton Klubnitsky
Joke #35815 —  
 
0
 
Train compartment. Night. The top shelf is the guy on the bottom - a girl.
The other two passengers long snore.
- Girl, you are not bored one there to lie?
- Leave me alone, I want to sleep.
- A girl and I have a toy is. Want to play?
- I told you: do not let me sleep!
- A girl and I can then play with your toy?
Top extends an arm and throws a peasant dildo.
- You can play at least until morning, but sleep does not bother me!
Anton Klubnitsky
Joke #35814 —  
 
0
 
Yesterday during a broadcast transmission Vladimir Molchanov "Private Life" just
not happen, but fortunately nothing happened.
Joke #35813 —  
 
0
 
Judging by how the plot develops in the series "Balzac Age, or
all men ...", its a time to the last phrase in its title changed to
or all the women fucking ... "
Joke #35812 —  
 
0
 
Anton Gorodetsky wrote on the wall four-letter word, and indeed:
There was nothing!
Joke #35811 —  
 
0
 
- Here is the photo: I and Yeltsin. Here - I'm Putin. And this is me and Leo Tolstoy
Jasna glade ...
- And where are you?
- And a third woman on the left hand!
Joke #35810 —  
 
0
 
Inspired by the "about me" page dating:
The true joy of love in the ecstasy of the two bodies and souls, and mixed
merging poetry. If a man has found an ideal partner, he
should try and love her in ecstasy and poetry.
Love without sex is futile and unhealthy - it lacks the essential harmony
yin and yang, which brings to life the world and rebellion. On the other
hand, sex without love - just a biological function, which is not
can bring us closer to a mutual calm, in which we
need.

Yin and Yang - Sun and take out
Joke #35809 —  
 
0
 
New Song Viagra: "Kill yourself up the wall" ...
Joke #35808 —  
 
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