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The store stagnant times. Saleswoman thinks aloud on the accounts before
- So, yes forty-forty: forty-ruble! Matches take?
- Doctor, my butt itches!
- And what ?....
- Sama ......
Cafe. A guy comes to refrigerators with juice. In Nalyvayko two types:
yellow and orange, both in the same price and without a title. He addresses
- Girl, but what is the difference between yellow and orange juice?
- Man, are you, color blind?
In the sale did pregnancy tests "Oh, vagrants!"
- Girl, you can meet you!
- Why, what's! Come too soon to fuck!
- Wow what a flirt you!
Repetition - the mother of learning "... Well, to repeat the lesson with a rake?
Check meters on a cold and hot water showed that the residents
not only do not use hot water and pump it back into
- Your bank makes loans on parole?
- No problem ...
- And if I'm wrong?
- You will be ashamed when God will appear.
- When it will still be ...
- Here, if not return the fifth, sixth, appear.
We live in anticipation of happiness. It is a pity that the doors are not allowed.
- I do not know what academician N. sentenced to 15 years?
- For treason. He gave the enemies of Russia our home state
secrets - Putin's plan.
- But he only said that no plan of Putin does not exist!
- So this is our home state secret ...
State Duma - not a place for discussion. Polling places - no place for
- Have you heard? Next in 2008, Putin declared the Year of the Family.
- Yes? Incidentally, the year of the Yeltsin family at the time turned out well!
The hare looked at successes in the career of the Bear and also decided to act.
Sobral at the edge of the forest briefing and announced their agreement to the election
a foreman nearest forest surroundings. And also asked Wolf
take the post of his first deputy. After that was immediately
Conclusion: what is allowed for the bears, not always suitable for hares.
Bobruisk archaeologists have dug up a dinosaur egg, if they dig
further, you'll probably be able to dig up the entire dinosaur entirely.
The program "Good night kids!". Scandals, intrigue, investigation!
Miss Universe is talking to animals, Aunt Tanya's paw for Piggy
reverse Piglet, Phil covens guide dog,
Karkusha - the platypus. Program "Good night kids!" - Show all
It turns out that if the military cruiser put astringent grandmother, then
rate increase from 35 to 150 knots per hour.
- He's so drunk that Laka not knits.
- The disputed grading the degree of intoxication: I, for example, and he was not sober
Ivanov Ivan bought a kilo of cucumbers and went with them to the bank.
Agree, so funny happened - Ivanov Ivan bank with cucumbers.
- That's all, the patient, that's your tooth!
- Thank you, doctor, but your grip on the chair ...
In Moscow, such congestion that the curves Zhigulis not fool.
New Year's rally in pharmacies of the city! Buy any medication, and illness, we
invent you for free!
- Dear, I think our relationship has ceased to evolve.
- Yes, you're right ..... How about anal sex?
- Oh, John, Joe, hello! How is your astronomy?
(John, Joe, quite the lost frame, pale little scallywag)
- Hormaaalno ...
- Why so sad?
- The wife call names ...
- The Sun, said my ...
- And what??
- (Sobbing) Sun ... is yellow dwarf!
It is hard to keep quiet life and begin to fight even harder
finish the fight and return to peaceful life.
From the conversation blondes:
"All Men goats. One said yesterday that the rich that can afford
new apartment in Moscow and persuaded to go with him. In the end it turned out that
apartment he himself can really afford, but only for some
You know that if you take the road (well, very expensive) mobile phone and with all
force quit to go to hell, then he himself will return to you like a boomerang. Not
believe? You can borrow a mobile phone with a friend and check;)
One man asks another:
- And there in the world at least as far as jealous woman?
- Yes, of course there are. Eventually, I'll introduce you to this.
- And why not now?
- Now do not get. She sits for the murder of her husband.
I learned to solve any complicated problems, but problems
appearance of arbitrarily complex problems.
7 people dragged off the ants, 5 people combed mosquito bites to death
2nd settled by the huntsman, 6 people trampled moose, 15 people poisoned
birch sap of pine trees, 2 people have seen UFOs and 3 Elvis, 12 people
were burned 3rd degree on baked potatoes, 8 people died of their
death, 6 people led by a pack of wolves, 30 people became ill
encephalitis, 50 people drowned in a swamp, 80 people bunched bears
200 people poisoned by mushrooms and berries, 3rd sat up by the fire and
burned, 50 people buried in cutting wood. Short. Compared with
last year bard festival was held almost without incidents.
If you woke up after a drinking binge in a good mood ... mean booze
The most strong-willed people - Russian peasants, too, if they told me that
more than two bottles of vodka do not drink, so for the fifth will not run.
- Let's take a taxi!
- I'd rather take the vodka ... faster razvezet!
- Society events: Sergei Zverev prove that he is a man,
he opens his mouth, when the dye eyelashes.
- When opening the way belyash found meat.
- Conclusion - way belyash predator.
- What is the difference between ignorance and the reluctance?
- I do not know and do not want to know!
Vodka not gasoline - for consumption above the city!
Yushchenko appeals to the people with Budunov:
"NaSratMaydan" ugh, "NeSratMaydan" Pah, "NeZradMaydan"
United Kingdom, Nigeria and Bill Gates presented a new plan
Tuberculosis at the World Economic Forum in Davos.
The forum Information magnate was surprised to learn that turns
tubercle bacillus Computer does not infect.
Ukrainian election campaign (module is available for use in
within the CIS with different localizations):
Programs of political parties, probably written by "Ctrl + C + Crtl + V"
using the option "Find and Replace. After coming to power in the Cabinet
Try Us For operation "Replace all", and some - "Put."
I propose to translate the WWW (world wide web) as GDP (a general world
Wide Web). A translation of Internet 2 equate to a doubling of GDP!
To avoid a indexer wrinkles and tucks on the lips is very helpful blowjob, three times
day before eating, drinking fresh sperm. Verify that the
smoothly. This means literally works wonders, especially with your
"Sobchak" - is an international unit of abominations. Large unit, much as a hundred
Statistics of wages in Belarus.
Over the last month salary Tale amounted to pieces with his brother, salary
Caucasian togashey - two pieces on the nose, the salary of civil servants - five
pieces on the snout ... Since you were in Minsk News.
inspired by the TV series "not born beautiful"
- You no longer will briquettes ... you need a bridle and saddle ...
Pop-corn, pop art, pop culture ... Pease, but, for some reason only - dec!
Oil: "The Kremlin" has confirmed the law of the sandwich - a sandwich does not fall
Oil down - because "the Kremlin's oil is margarine!
- Why did you not been on the first pair?
- I have been an important matter.
Boris Moiseyev in the shower soap nailed to the floor.
- Granddaughters, but where you put those gondonchiki, which I gave you on the Day
- Squander, grandmother, squander ....
Husband convinces his wife to go to summer resort:
...- O, how I love to bask in the sun. I love it when the sun Spit
me with his gentle, warm hands ... nd (something I'm daydreaming), I
say-rays ... Yes-a, and in general I love the light.