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- In the morning I wake up with the lark, I work as a parish, in the evening I had a wolf
appetite, sleep well, as the marmot, but my general state I do not
like!
- Would converge to the vet check ...
Joke #37301 —  
 
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e-Business in Russian:

ZaeBiznes
- Good, fit, business performance;
- A toast to the success of the undertaking.

VyeBiznes
- PR, usually black.

NaeBiznes
- Unsuccessful (successful) transaction.

ObeBiznes
- Dishonest naeBiznes.

PodeBiznes
- ObeBiznes particularly small size;
- Electronic subcontract.

PrieBiznes
- Obsessive PR.

OteBiznes
- Liquidation of the company, the closure of the company.

UeBiznes
- Elimination of a competitor.

SeBiznes
- Completion of the project.

ProeBiznes
- Sudden bankruptcy of the enterprise.

VeBiznes
- Presentation.

PereeBiznes
- Function of government.

DoeBiznes
- Retail.

PoeBiznes
- Unorganized business process.

IzeBiznes
- Know-how.

PredeBiznes
- A pilot project.

NadeBiznes
- "Roof".

NeeBiznes
- Execution nadeBiznesom some control functions.

NedoeBiznes
- Lack of expected return (result)

VzadveBiznes
- Profit through an insurance company.

VroteBiznes
- Extreme degree poeBiznesa.

NevroteBiznes
- Very big, serious business.

OeBiznes
- Seizure of neighboring markets.

ReeBiznes
- Return to the market after a temporary absence.

VseeBiznes
- Database of tax.

VseeBisnes
- Total pass on the basis of the tax inspectorate.

SoeBiznes
- A joint venture partnership.

BezeBiznes
- Governmental Organization;
- Domain zone.org

RazeBiznes
- Profit as a result of bankruptcy of the company.
Joke #37300 —  
 
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Business - as masturbation, all the while holding in their hands, things are going well,
As soon as the hands of strangers all begins to fall.
Joke #37299 —  
 
0
 
- Little Johnny! What's your favorite children's poem? - Asks
Marivanova.
- About the blue grasshopper!
- Little Johnny, you, as usual, made a mess of everything! Grasshopper is not blue,
greenbacks he was!
- That you do not understand, Marivanova. Remember the last line
poem: "he did not expect this so late!"
Joke #37298 —  
 
0
 
The most lucky horse - is the one to which no amount of cargo, all the luck and
lucky.
Joke #37297 —  
 
0
 
Boss major Japanese company back in the afternoon in his office and
asked the secretary, did not seek it somebody.
Principles of Japanese corporate ethics do not allow to say "no"
superiors. Therefore, the secretary gives an affirmative answer: yes,
Tanaka-san, were looking for.
- Who?
- That one.
- Tell the Nobody that I am ready to accept it.
- Unfortunately, this is impossible! - Mumbles confused girl.
- Why?
- You see, Mr. No one is so very upset, not finding you,
that immediately made him a hara-kiri.
Joke #37296 —  
 
0
 
December 3, 2007.
Results of elections to the Duma in the light of invalid ballots:
Swine - 43% Females - 29%, Scary - 16%, I hope you died - 12%.
Other candidates 7-mi percent threshold is not crossed.
Joke #37295 —  
 
0
 
He put her on the neck, and she told him all the baldness PROELA.
(c) izhstyle.livejournal.com
Joke #37293 —  
 
0
 
The girl tells the boy:
- Favorite, where we will do our wedding?
- In Photoshop.
Joke #37292 —  
 
0
 
News of the book market.
The book "How to easily and quickly to read the book" How to easily and
quickly quit smoking ".
Joke #37291 —  
 
0
 
Speech State. official: "Nanotechnology will change our lives - at
nanozarplatu will buy nanoedu! "
Joke #37290 —  
 
0
 
Sperm are very nimble creation. They were always need eyes and
eye, because, otherwise, very soon one of them will sit on your
knees and take your food.
Joke #37288 —  
 
0
 
Sasha - 32 teeth ... Dima - 20 teeth ... Andrew - 4 teeth ...
The scientists, dentists proved: no matter what you have toothpaste --
importantly, do not walk in Lyubertsy after 22-00 ...
Joke #37287 —  
 
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If you think you're smart - send a message "Yes!" the number 3455, and
if you do not think so, then send "No!" the number 3455 ... cost
one sms messages - 30 rubles.
Joke #37286 —  
 
0
 
How to distinguish Russian abroad.

1. Russian abroad wants to be like a foreigner.
2. The first thing that a prominent Russian abroad - yellow, black teeth --
legacy of the Soviet past, bad paste (or lack thereof), bad
Brushes, bad water.
3. Russian abroad has the same facial expression, as in Russia:
nabychennoe, tense face of a man ready to kidku, rudeness, fighting
for all in a savings bank, yelling on the road, a dispute with its neighbors and so on.
4. Russian dressing like a clown - all bright and shiny - because
believes that the brighter clothes - the more expensive it seems.
5. Russian abroad loves slovestno "to try to delete"
country where he resides, as it's obvious to notice the difference,
admit the obvious neither myself nor the other - do not want.
6. His whole view of Russian attempts to show that all he had
always perfect, that there was no Soviet poverty, humiliation, Pioneer and
labor camps, communal apartments, one T-shirts for all occasions
etc.
7. Russian living abroad, at a meeting fellow long
tells us how bad his life is and what everyone around the box - money
do not give a loan (this is absolutely not intending to return to their homeland).
8. Leaving large tip Russian attempts to fight their
complexes.
9. Drinking a large amount of vodka in the foreign witnesses
Russian considers prowess.
10. Photographing all on camera - another distinctive feature.
As such: 2 hours shooting of the bus, 3 hours travel around the city with
dancing picture - this is all very interesting.
11. In Russian airport trying to come first, first to stand on
registration, take a "hand luggage", which barely climbs in
plane, the first run at the passport control, the first run out for
luggage.
12. In the "duty free" Russian buys only Buchloe .... Of course, what else
want?
13. Russian companion abroad very often resembles his daughter.
14. Russian peasant can be distinguished on the stomach, lying on her lap;
Women's make-up on the beach, evening dress for breakfast in the hotel,
abundance of cheap Turkish gold jewelry.
15. Until now, Russian, using the buffet, trying to pile
the plate to the maximum .... What if not enough ...!
16. Russian love hotels "all inclusive" - of course, like a bug-infested
brandy and piss beer, and even on a freebie - this is fun!
17. Russian believes that his impoverished country cold marginalized in the world --
all very interesting and considers those foreigners who do not share his
opinion - lohami.
18. Russian host country always considers hostile. Question why
Then he came here, and not in Sochi or Ustpizdyuysk - and remains
open.
19. Russian fond of saying abroad that foreigners do not --
neither oil nor gas, forget, however, say that oil and gas that they
No, but they have brains ....
20. Russian abroad, from afar hear my native language, at once fell silent in
hoping to pass for a foreigner, but also overhear what they say
compatriots, although all of these signs of issuing it with
head.
Joke #37285 —  
 
0
 
It's too early to give up on Putin! Vote on the ballot for
opposition parties!
Joke #37284 —  
 
0
 
Pinocchio was expelled from the "EDRA".
Some did not like Pinocchio licking ass.
Joke #37283 —  
 
0
 
At a meeting with his fan club, Putin talked a lot about populism.
Do little lick?
Joke #37282 —  
 
0
 
Baku Jew urgently needed "Other Russia". Possible options.
Joke #37281 —  
 
0
 
If a person says that money for him is not important, it means that
they are so important to him that he was even afraid to talk about it.
Joke #37280 —  
 
0
 
Street attraction to the skating. She decided pranced on the camel,
but could not resist and fell. As he fell, she knocked out of the hands standing next to
males telephone, and he crashed, hooked a woman string bag,
depriving her of food, but still managed to scare the serene two-humped
animal. And he pulled out of fear and took the food tent.
The man, who watched from the sidelines, sadly summed up:
- Camel - Ship of the desert, and in fact correctly say, the woman on
ship to disaster.
Joke #37279 —  
 
0
 
- The Americans released the fifth generation combat aircraft, and we gave them did not
answered some of our aircraft can not hear anything.
- My friend, you have something messed up, our response to their new aircraft come in time
time, this air defense system S-400.
Joke #37278 —  
 
0
 
- Lieutenant! You then wipe the nose with his sleeve, scarf or something there?
- Remember, a greenhorn, opera scarf is not for the nozzle, and material evidence to collect!
Joke #37277 —  
 
0
 
Who is Vladimir Putin in 2008? Wherever it
up? But it's clear as twice two! Vladimir will
Secretary General of the Central Committee of the United Russia!
Joke #37276 —  
 
0
 
Things are moving, gentlemen, - said Alexander Nevsky, referring to the German
dogs-knights.
Joke #37275 —  
 
0
 
Ukrainians adopted from the Spanish bullfight, now pigs die beautifully.
Joke #37274 —  
 
0
 
Passing theater Stirlitz saw a poster of the new film "The End
resident.
Again erotica - think the scout.
Joke #37273 —  
 
0
 
Known fact - the girls are either smart or beautiful. Pity
that dating sites have mastered only the wise ...
Joke #37272 —  
 
0
 
Pierre Bezukhov and Lieutenant Rzhevskij lead a philosophical conversation.
- Lieutenant! You constantly talk about a woman's body. And what do you think about
female mind?
- Very well, sir. The main disadvantage of the female mind, in my opinion,
lies in its complete absence.
Joke #37271 —  
 
0
 
All people are divided into two categories: those who throw bottles, and
those who collect them.
Oleg Bhutan, Hanover
Joke #37270 —  
 
0
 
Spa on the blood
Joke #37269 —  
 
0
 
Question of Putin:
- What you had in mind when they said "We'll rub out the terrorists, even in
toilet! "?
Answer:
- I meant the whole of our country ...
Joke #37268 —  
 
0
 
Death: I'll call tomorrow at 10
Lexa: Blyat, Olga! Choose a nickname!
Joke #37267 —  
 
0
 
Scientists say that the chimpanzee is 70% of body structure, location
internal organs, the structure of the brain, etc. - Coincides with the man,
pig by 70% coincides with the man on the composition of blood, on chromosome
recruitment, body temperature, etc. That is, if you cross a monkey with
pig, we get a man?
Joke #37266 —  
 
0
 
In Russia, the opposition can only scare themselves with their own fearlessness.
Joke #37265 —  
 
0
 
Russia's airlines have decided to support United Russia, placing
logo
Party on the bags for the effects of motion sickness.
Joke #37264 —  
 
0
 
Katya Lel strongly refuted the rumor that her new song
"Uchi-Way" is connected with the election campaign.
Joke #37263 —  
 
0
 
When looking for a needle in a haystack, you can easily run into a fork. hohol
Joke #37066 —  
 
0
 
- Corkscrew - a phallic object, it represents the edge strength penetration. Cork same - a symbol of virginity and chastity, but here began to penetrate into the soft wood, done reciprocating posupatelnoe traffic, congestion and stained with blood, blood-red wine. Thus we again observe the predominance of male over female and .... - So, Freud is no longer pour!
Joke #37065 —  
 
0
 
Recruitment.

Applicant to engage in employment on a conversation in the office with the boss. Chef: - Mr. Sidorov, you have excellent references, from which it follows that you have many advantages. And there you have disadvantages? - I must confess that I do have one drawback - I'm superstitious. - In this case, we will not pay you a thirteenth salary ... Per. with him.
Joke #37064 —  
 
0
 
Here in Russia before any fellows were! Nose aquiline, dick stick! 10 sticks to throw, even at the hands of the bears!

And Now? Nose potatoes, dick harmonica, Mid-stick cast, even on the road requests.
Joke #37063 —  
 
0
 
Announcement inveterate motorist: Sale wife in 1967 issue - used but still in very good condition. In 2001, a major overhaul of the upper teeth (he knocked on drunk). Regular inspection at the proctologist and gynecologist. Many new: a fur coat, a handkerchief, Fingal eye; new tires - only yesterday she bought a pair of galoshes. In 2006 g. repainted in a brunette (color - wet asphalt). In the next 5 years the special

investments not require (buffer good face lift, too, has not necessary). There is a small defect in the chassis - limp when walking. http://www.interlit2001.com
Joke #37062 —  
 
0
 
If you're in for something you believe, it does not mean that it is. If you are in someone you believe does not mean that he believes in himself.
Joke #37061 —  
 
0
 
Restructuring has long been over, but neither Gamsakhurdia, nor Shevardnadze nor Saakashvili did not bother to inform the Georgians.
Joke #37060 —  
 
0
 
Buy our five toilets and get a gift pack blizzard!
Joke #37059 —  
 
0
 
- Well? In high school enrolled? - No! - Again piled mathematics? - Zavalii mathematics!
Joke #37058 —  
 
0
 
Once Bill Gates was asked: - Which operating systems ever created by man, best? - UNIX, - without hesitation replied Gates. - But ... But what about Windows? - Windows created God - humbly replied.
Joke #37057 —  
 
0
 
Edit my wife how to borrow: you take someone else's wife at the time -- give their all ...
Joke #37056 —  
 
0
 
I have so much time choosing my password for drunk in sober he can recruit not only with his eyes closed, but without arms.
Joke #37055 —  
 
0
 
- Son, we have a mom a gift for you! In the spring you will have a brother! - Again, this fool out of prison release ...
Joke #37054 —  
 
0
 
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