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Samurai repeater confused with origami hara-kiri, and died not only
quickly, but beautiful.
Israeli parliament for a debate question: "Can I answer
question with a question? "
By the end of the day it was decided: "Why not?"
If the hamster fed Viagra, he died of tetanus.
At heart I'm very loyal person. But the soul is deep, and a member of something --
Since the authorities keep a sharp lookout, and forehead tupenko.
To steal a thousand dollars - it is theft
To steal a million dollars - this raid
Steal $ 100 million - a dispute between economic entities
Steal $ 10 billion - is government policy.
Board of Ukraine today will continue to negotiate with the Government
The lesson of literature in school. Marivanova turns to Little Johnny.
- The last time we discussed the play Gogol's "Inspector". Can you
give us the other three works of the great writer?
Ignorance of the subject never bothered Vovochka if he wanted to support
- "GAI", "The officer" and "The Tax Inspector," Marivanova!
Good deeds should be done gradually, making sure that they have not
ill. Bad things should be done immediately, and suddenly they will lead to good things.
Guy asks the girl next door:
- What is it you do not see it long?
- And we went with loditelyami for glanitsu. In Calovius Woods.
- In fecal shafts? And what somewhere to go, when we, own shit
- I came back once from a trip ...
- And what, you find it in the closet?
- No, I hid behind a garage.
The failure ended exhibition-installation avant-gardist Bezumtseva V.
"An artist can offend everyone." Bezumtseva only lasted the first
five visitors, after which he was taken to the Institute Sklifosovsky.
Drugs Say "No!" and listen to what they give you this answer ...
Alyonushka brother Ivanushka:
- Did you grow up, who want to become?
- Ivanushka International!
On the market:
- And what a thick cloth coat?
- Thick cloth, thick cloth! More from the Germans in it skedaddle!
In the so-called mixers actually carry giant
Saratov prostitutes, oblivious transfer clock, pro @ Bali for an hour.
Two of the surgeon during the operation ... General anesthesia? Total ... Well then for
operation ... sound clink glasses ...
Only in our country the leader of a political party can become a man
not included in its composition.
In honor of the 75 th anniversary of Holodomor Yushchenko gave a gala dinner.
From the news stream: 15 skinheads who were detained by police for beating
dark-skinned baby, were soon released. But we can not say that they
"Got off lightly." According to the cleaners, a proper cell,
"Fright" pulled to 7-8 kilograms.
Life - a short between two long pauses.
Petrovich went to vote for Putin, because he wanted a secure future
himself, his wife and children.
Churov (reported to Putin):
... To ensure that the elections were free and fair, we decided
deny service to those brawlers from the OSCE, replacing them with international
observers from Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan.
Putin - and the right one? They even believe really do not know how!
Churov - First, assume they will not .. Only count as
secondly, to help them goes a team of professionals from North Korea!
- I will vote for ATP!
- So you're a Democrat?
- No, masochist.
December 2, can not go to the elections - I will be busy ...
I'll rake trash that has accumulated in your mailbox.
- And why you, brother Chichikov, dead souls? I do not whether to become an oligarch you
- Have mercy, my friend Sobakevich ... Which of my oligarch? I'm not in
clan, and not in terms of ... Thus, small-gesheft with ... nakuplyu little souls
Yes selling electoral commission ... Well elections are coming!
Putin: That the people I write - Go for a third term. Come on, they say. As you
Pavlovsky: Absolutely agree! Not once. And then what you are after
Chelyabinsk hackers are so severe that break into other people's computers
new cigarettes "White Sea Canal ultralight" ... must have super light,
to smoke these cigarettes!!
A friend sent a letter from prison. He writes that there is very hungry and asked
send more havchika. I'm out of work and at zero. In general, money
enough only to have to send him into a zone of Paul Bragg's book
"The miracle of fasting.
Stirlitz absently scans of evening television programs.
"End of the resident - 23.00.
- And they still dare to be proud of their punctuality and precision! 're Wrong
as much as five centimeters - outraged intelligence by measuring its end.
German soccer player had a good weekend. Returning to the location
team, he demanded to rename it from Eintracht Frankfurt in Tsvaytraht.
News in the forest: a hare, opened exchanger. Changes ruble for ruble twenty
kopecks. Animals in surprise. How so? What deception?
Fox exchanged, everything is normal. Not tossed oblique. Real money, so
ruble and 20 kopecks. Dragged by animals. The wolf, deer, even a hedgehog came.
I think that when the same Kosoy ruined. And he kept changing and changing. Then came
Finally the message to Bear. I came to understand what's what:
- Kosoy, change?
- At ruble ruble twenty?
Exchanged, the real money .. Bear not ponyatkah.
- Kosoy, and what business is?
- Well you see, take me to the ruble and ruble twenty
- Do not hold for a fool, I see. Kosoy, you at least consider the profitability?
- Yes nafig me this profitability, but you see what speed!
- A lion can be recognized as doping?
- How is it?
- Well, for example, in 100 meters?
How to save the forest and save paper?
- Use parrots instead of pigeons!
- Proved that a woman's brain weighs 10% less than the brains of men.
- This once again proves that the performance of the female brain in 2 times
Chelyabinsk onanist so severe that drochat women.
Chelyabinsk students are so severe that scare professors
The lesson literature teacher reads students a story by Turgenev
"Mumu". Contrary to custom, the children go to recess and hushed
Sleduyushy lesson - nature study.
- Tell me, children who are to blame for the death of the ship Titanic?
In the silence that is heard an excited voice Vovochka:
- Really Gerasim again?
Lived a girl Olya. Her father was a Hindu. His name was Chang. Then girl
grew up and began to call it by name and patronymic.
For the elections went well, no need to worry about voter turnout ...
Suffice it to invite only one of them - on behalf of Admiresurs ...
The greatest number of votes will get the party which itself will
pay dues to their members.
Chairman of Election Commission, 3 December 2007:
- Vladimir Vladimirovich, I report - for the United Russia voters
110% of the voters! Turnout was 150%!
- Oh, you naughty boy! ...
Petka - Chapaev:
- Vasili Ivanovich, what do you think - who will be president of Russia?
- Of course, Putin, Petka. But to call him will Ivanov ...
- Ah, I understand, for the conspiracy ...
- No, Petya, to the Constitution.
From the CIA dossier on the future president of Russia:
"Sergei Borisovich Ivanov, born in 1953,
He is Dmitry Medvedev, born in 1965,
He is Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, born in 1952 ... "
Putin calls Zubkov - Well, how's my plan?
Zubkov - Big deal, the people rejoice! Under your wise leadership, Russia
become a superpower, the GDP grow tenfold, the UN will become a branch of Gazprom! And
in general, I have no time, I want to urgently zakonspektirovat your plan!
Putin calls Gryzlov - Well, how's my plan?
Gryzlov - Brilliant, people are thrilled! Under his strict guidance
Russia will become a model democracy in the world, the entire population, including
infants will vote correctly. And anyway, I have no time, I want to
again read your plan!
Putin calls Luzhkov - Well, how's my plan?
Luzhkov - big! Under his tireless leadership, we will turn
Moscow in one big construction site. And anyway, I have no time, I want to again
Discuss with your wife, your plan!
Putin (thoughtfully) - M-m-yes ... all read my plan, all like it!
Would probably have still to write!
In response to requests from young readers to continue the epic Harry Potter
by JK Rowling wrote the epic 8 th and last book of Harry Potter
and Gopnik Biryulyovo. "
Along the coast of Antarctica is sinking liner Explorer.
Freak! They would still ship Windows running there ...
Lady with a Lapdog Baskervilles ...