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Take him away someone else's wife is easy, it is impossible to return back.
Joke #37619 —  
 
0
 
Women marry for one purpose only to find himself in the life
support and put it under his heel.
Joke #37618 —  
 
0
 
Valuev, is the grandson Michurin! With ease he will make any turnips
a pumpkin.
Joke #37617 —  
 
0
 
- I wonder why Putin became just three places in the list of "United Russia"?
- Very simple. Putin becomes prime minister number two, number one --
President ...
- And the third?
- A third will leave as promised.
Joke #37616 —  
 
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Died Pope. Will the conclave to elect a new pope. Before
very beginning of a journalist conducts interviews with the influential cardinal.
- How do you think who the best chance to become the new pope?
- I do not know, is very difficult to predict. I will say one thing - in St. Petersburg may
complexity.
Joke #37615 —  
 
0
 
Team Russia mobilized all resources before the match with England.
Why only had to catch up with the clouds and choke Moscow snow!
Joke #37614 —  
 
0
 
- By working your wife?
- Writer ...
- Oh! What say? Earn a lot?
- Writes the history of disease .. I burst into tears ...
Z. Wiest & N. Mountain
Joke #37613 —  
 
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- Say lies all these ads! For example, recently talked about new
matches that burn even when hurricane winds, underwater and in the open
space. I bought, tried, and they do not burn!
- No, advertising is not lying, you just listen to them attentively. In advertising
about the match was not the word "even", and where you leave them lit?
Joke #37612 —  
 
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The campaign slogan Schwarzenegger:
- For me not rust!
Joke #37611 —  
 
0
 
Vladimir Vladimirovich personal e-mail is the Kremlin
Anti-spam, filtering the claim of the people.
Joke #37610 —  
 
0
 
There is a public poll.
Reporter:
- Grandpa, you decided for whom to vote for you?
Father:
- Oh, granddaughters, but not back to the moth, stagnation and the CPSU. We've had enough
this outrage - partocracy.
Reporter:
- So you mean for United Russia? "
Father:
- No. For the Communists!
Joke #37609 —  
 
0
 
Putin is the third time won the Kremlin Cup.
Joke #37608 —  
 
0
 
- I've heard, Putin again "hot line" with the people happy ...
- Maybe, wants to get into the Guinness Book of Records as the president
received the most questions, to which he did not have time to answer?
Joke #37607 —  
 
0
 
Bush calls Putin: Vladimir! For you in Tehran planned assassination.
Putin - Bush: Yes, nothing there.
Bush: It is strange, as the CIA reported that, yes. Well, I will clarify.
Bush - CIA Director: And Putin said that nothing planned. To
believe? You or him?
CIA director: I am. Just say to you: planned.
Joke #37606 —  
 
0
 
Naivete - is when a snail crawling along the rails, feeling
approaching train, hiding in his shell.
Joke #37605 —  
 
0
 
Judge:
- What's your claim to the neighbors?
- Yes very much they have oral sex, sleep, do not give!
Joke #37604 —  
 
0
 
Advice.
If you're an incorrigible womanizer, then, choosing a wife, choose the one
easier to hang noodles on the ears.
Joke #37603 —  
 
0
 
Announcement. Husband for an hour: fix iron, hang a curtain, to embed the castle
put Fingal, propyl pay, sex with a neighbor.
Joke #37602 —  
 
0
 
Manager - a person who is easy to sell you something that nothing
costs and unnecessary.
(c) Sj
Joke #37601 —  
 
0
 
- Dad, what is the meaning of life?
- Everything in life has meaning, except looking for the meaning of life.
Joke #37600 —  
 
0
 
With applied mathematicians conducted a study on the role of the numbers Pi and E
semantics of the Russian language. It turned out that many words they play
key role. In this case the replacement of one number by another fundamentally changes
the whole point: El - Peel, rode - shoved, Horseback - Pi ... etc. Unfortunately
study was not carried through. Financing of the project suddenly
dried up after the scientists decided to change these numbers in the sign
word Edinorosy.
Joke #37599 —  
 
0
 
Pinocchio went on a smoke break, but soon returned.
- What, cigarettes forgotten? ..
- No, the fire extinguisher.
verstak

Joke #37598 —  
 
0
 
- Uncle, can I have your TV repaired?
- Not a boy ... Plunger and put into place.
(c) izhstyle.livejournal.com
Joke #37597 —  
 
0
 
"Tonight on our stage play" Dinner with a fool. "Participates
whole troupe of the theater. For table reservations, call 123 4567.
Joke #37596 —  
 
0
 
- And you listen, sho in Dnepropetrovsk house vzorvavsya?
- Tse Muscovites vynuvaty.
- And what's pry Muscovites?
- So Muscovites Well gas postavlyayut.
Joke #37595 —  
 
0
 
Noisy party in full swing. The middle of the room, face down on the table, lies
man.
He raises his head and loudly said: "In the corner all - cocksucker!".
For a moment all fall silent, but you never know what lyapnet drunk? - Fun
continued ...
A man raises his head again and said loudly: "And in the corner - all
pidarasy!
All fall silent - I think it's too much.
In the tense silence of the grave stands bully and ... moves from one
corner to another.
Joke #37594 —  
 
0
 
- Hello, this background?
- Wait, I'll find out.
Veland88
Joke #37593 —  
 
0
 
Based solely on the logic of mass tourism in the village Women's Small
pisyulki "because it was for her, since there are small, somewhere near Required
be s "Big pisyulki.
Joke #37592 —  
 
0
 
- Bychkov, you're fired!
- I do not Bychkov, I Bykov.
- What a difference! At this place we need Bronstein.
Joke #37591 —  
 
0
 
- Dad, what distinguishes the mind and trick?
- The mind can solve complex problems, and cunning allows them
bypass.
- And that useful?
- Useful all - intelligence. It allows you to choose what is better: to decide
circumvent, or not to meddle in other people's business.
Joke #37590 —  
 
0
 
Russia - country macroresources and nanopensy.
Joke #37589 —  
 
0
 
Goes Russian racer F1. Outperforms all three terms. To finish completely
bit and ... Traffic cop rushes out and shouts: "A-ha, over!"
Joke #37588 —  
 
0
 
A guy calls in the House 2:
- A team of your project is not going to rest on the sea, swim,
dive to a depth?
- And why do you ask?
- I am now in the army, on a patrol boat serve, we have to adopt
only the depth charges.
Joke #37587 —  
 
0
 
The new version of the old saying: as a ballerina on ice.
E. paradoxes.
Joke #37586 —  
 
0
 
According to preliminary findings of Ukrainian special services, gas, exploded in
Dnepropetrovsk, was from Russia.
Joke #37585 —  
 
0
 
Buzzard.
1. Male carrion.
2. A place where live bitches (similar to the chicken coop).
Joke #37584 —  
 
0
 
Think plastic?
Uh-uh! Photoshop!
Joke #37583 —  
 
0
 
Sit two zek behind bars ..
- You put what?
- Yes to work an hour late ....
- And whom did you work?
- Air traffic controller.
-= VobyD =-
Joke #37582 —  
 
0
 
After the advertising slogan toothpaste Blend-a-med "purely as a
dentist, preparing to release new: uretalny catheter "wrote as
urologist, hemorrhoidal candles, cocoa, the proctologist, and artificial
joint "limp as a podiatrist.
Joke #37581 —  
 
0
 
- Lord, grant me survive my enemies!
- Well, experiencing ... Year on three ...
So let's drink to the health of our enemies!
Joke #37580 —  
 
0
 
- Listen, I also starred in the movie!
- Eeeuw!
- No, no - I was there a good play!
http://rezidu.com
Joke #37579 —  
 
0
 
Walked once Ksenia Sobchak in the zoo, and suddenly broke away from a rescue
hungry crocodile and attacked Ksyusha. But when he saw her, I realized
that is not so he is hungry. And when good look better, I realized
that is not so he and a crocodile.
Veland88
Joke #37578 —  
 
0
 
Son asks Rabinovich:
- Dad, what proletarian internationalism?
- I'm not sure, but to go.
Joke #37577 —  
 
0
 
- You know how to Photoshop?
- Not only Koreldrochit.
Joke #37576 —  
 
0
 
To kill the smell of stale socks, the ISS crew will grow up in orbit
harvest of peas.
Joke #37575 —  
 
0
 
Hello, class. I am your new teacher of astronomy. I see the class you
large, all still do not remember. Therefore, all the boys I
call: Hey, you. And girls - Zina.
Joke #37574 —  
 
0
 
A woman nearly helpless, until it dried out nails.
Joke #37573 —  
 
0
 
Stirlitz went to the zoo and was fed by hand. Sruki grunted from
pleasure.
Joke #37572 —  
 
0
 
Warning on Russia's market on Friday released a new novelty:
Orbit-Citramon. Projected marketers, sales will peak in the morning
Monday.
Joke #37571 —  
 
0
 
Mushrooms - they are different. One you feed them, the other - movie will ...
Joke #37570 —  
 
0
 
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