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Breeders have taken out, environmentalists and scientists did not have time to put on the Red Book
animal Samoyed.
Joke #39063 —  
 
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The only speed limiter in Russia - is blinking lights
car into the oncoming lane.
desert cactus
Joke #39062 —  
 
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on advertising
- And as I like him?
It should be ....
- Who?! Who should be!?
Not anyone, but how.
Joke #39061 —  
 
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In a country where half the population watching Dom-2, one can wonder
election results.
Joke #39060 —  
 
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In southern England was an unusual heat.
- Today is too hot to wear, - "Jack said, coming out
soul. - How do you think, dear, that the neighbors would think if I go
on the lawn just so?
- Probably that I married you for your money.
Joke #39059 —  
 
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Opening of the Olympic Games in Sochi 2014. Belongs to the President of Russia, Mayor of Sochi, President
All Sports of Russia, etc. etc.
- Dear visitors and participants of the Summer Olympic Games! Welcome ...
Everything neponyatkah, someone smart, standing beside him, asked:
- And why the summer?
Mayor of Sochi - the President of Russia:
- You see! And I tell you, among other things, 7 years showed that mixed up!
Joke #39058 —  
 
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The Coca-Cola decided to establish in Russia the production of kvass (not
anecdote, it's true).
Company Mars looked at it and decided to produce in Russia cakes.
Then the company decided to release Lewis treniki here.
A company built by Peter the Toyota plant Zhiguli.
Joke #39057 —  
 
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"Dear editors of the newspaper AIDS info. I really want a brother or sister." In write your newspaper that the children born from sperm. How can I make my father finish in a head of cabbage? Vasya, 10 years. "
Joke #38857 —  
 
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The inscription on the mirror: I'm not sure - do not go!
Joke #38856 —  
 
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"Bring along two friends and get a discount of six months." District Military Commissariat.
Joke #38855 —  
 
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In the American Constitution is amended: "President of the United States may open to any American citizen, if he was born in the United States and is name "Bush" or "Clinton".
Joke #38854 —  
 
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- And what had become of this woman with a sickle, which stood near VDNH? - Probably, went to the Kremlin to seek the one to whom they gave Faberge eggs ...
Joke #38853 —  
 
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Posted at the entrance: Baby, I love you! Jailed for pedophilia.
Joke #38851 —  
 
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The magazine "Cosmopolitan" has decided to create a portrait of the ideal woman. This Elizabeth Taylor took the eyes, nose - Claudia Schiffer, hair - Christine Aguilera and Angelina Jolie's lips. As a result, the computer gives a picture Sergei Zverev.
Joke #38850 —  
 
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For admission to university need good knowledge and experience and once again the money!
Joke #38849 —  
 
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- What would you have us on the farm work going, Stepan? - Merchandisers. - Listen, do not want to work, say so.
Joke #38848 —  
 
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- Everywhere I see the advertisement: Services - Tamada, accordionist. And how do they differ? - Master of ceremonies tells the new anecdote
Joke #38847 —  
 
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After the election of the capital Sochi 2014 Winter Olympic Games, a competition was the Olympic symbol. As a result, the symbol was chosen the most popular Creature - Shaurmishka!
Joke #38846 —  
 
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In connection with the Olympic Games in Sochi skiers quickly master the water skiing.
Joke #38845 —  
 
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Will the Summer Olympics in Vorkuta? No, but from Sochi there some go, if you take too much.
Joke #38844 —  
 
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I do not know who is actually the head of all Russian, but the President Russia - only Colonel foreign intelligence!
Joke #38843 —  
 
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Pessimists think that all beautiful women have someone to fuck, optimists are deeply convinced that women always want more.
Joke #38842 —  
 
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If, after you told the man "Do you mad" He looks up, then he really mad.
Joke #38841 —  
 
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Modern domestic policy was akin to livestock: increasingly voters today do not win the decision of any pressing problems, and stupidly grow under their tasks.
Joke #38840 —  
 
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The new fur collection: "The last squeak moths. psy.tom.ru / humor.html
Joke #38839 —  
 
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What I do not like vegetarians, it is because they eat the food of my food.
Joke #38838 —  
 
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Angered by a visitor to the zoo administration: - Do you also bears fuck, and children are watching! Administration: - You are as outraged as if we have kids fuck, but bears watching!
Joke #38837 —  
 
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11 new topics for the magazine Cosmopolitan: 1. Strings or tango: 306 new arguments for and against 2. New car: how to choose a teddy bear 3. Sex on the beach: how to shake the sand 4. You and your best friend: why not? 5. Secrets of Health: Learning to breathe Gaskets 6. Lessons of business: how to benefit from her husband's betrayal 7. Going washing machine: Mode Easy Care + 8. And yet, Nietzsche or Schopenhauer: choose a name for the puppy 9. Fashion trends of the season: what should be hanging on a string from a tampon 10. Etiquette: 5 seats, where you should not take with a vibrator 11. How to suck on a jeep.
Joke #38836 —  
 
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She was so right before the sound, before lofty, that would pour into her bottle of cognac and see what happens.
Joke #38835 —  
 
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He began his health and ended on the face.
Joke #38834 —  
 
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- Well, and where you learned to do cunnilingus? - Where, where ...
Joke #38833 —  
 
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- I am the way to the floor pounds thinner! - Legs shaved?
Joke #38832 —  
 
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When you grind, and you paid for it - is work. When you grind, and you do not pay for it - this is a hobby. When you grind and pay for it - this is vacation!
Joke #38831 —  
 
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In many shops shampoos: from dandruff to increase the amount of hair, to shine. And were there any shampoo, so just a dirty head wash?
Joke #38830 —  
 
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- I do not want to live in this country. - Well, not live, if you like.
Joke #38829 —  
 
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There is a lecture on the subject "Dangers of a natural character and teach issues: - Here's Pushkin is frozen because of the cholera epidemic in a village a few N months, where he wrote many poems that students with Philology still offset can not pass.
Joke #38828 —  
 
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Thanks to Columbus, if he is not, all amerikosy would live with us in Europe.
Joke #38827 —  
 
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At the bar sit three: Mexican, Arab and American. Mexican finishes beer, throws the mug into the air, pulls out his pistol shooting - the circle to smithereens. "In our country, glass is cheap, that I do not drink from one glass twice. " Arab repeats the trick, but certainly not from the lousy pistol, but from the AK47, with the comment: "In our country so much sand that we can make a quantity any number of mugs. " American dosasyvaet its Jack Daniel, gets Magnum 357 and puts Mexican spot with the Arabs: "We have so many illegals in the country and the Arabs,

there is no need to drink in one and the same company twice. "
Joke #38826 —  
 
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- Do you want to tell anecdote?
- Do not! You have all the anecdote
Joke #38825 —  
 
0
 
Allowance for those who are going to hunt

What to take?
1.0 Food - the way you hungry
1.1 gun - it is a long device, which when clicked
trigger makes "Bam"
1.2 Fishing rod - this is also such a long device, but when you click on
trigger does not issue "Bam". Bait can be used, if not
successful hunt with a gun.
1.3 Matches - handy if you have to kindle a fire.
1.4 Lighter - it can help vysyshit wet matches
1.5 Site area - if there is only a general map of the world, take
a microscope
1.6 What is something someone else - if you lose you will find a host
stranger, or police
1.7 Books and guides - otherwise how do you know what animal met?

Signs of certain animals:
Coming into a clearing in the woods you can see a herd of lowing animals
(Cows)
Hunt for them in principle allowed, but you have to deal with
shepherd or owner of the herd.
In the bushes is heard bleating (sheep), but not in a hurry to shoot, it
Huntsman may be seeking his sheep.

After the shot, listen to determine where you hit.
2.0 Silence - you missed
2.1 sound hoarse - you knocked down the horns of elk
2.2 you something to scream - you've come to own a dog
2.3 You involuntarily cried - you got yourself a
2.4 Shouting matt - you've hit the egeryadrugogo hunter
2.5 The cries of joy - you got a wife or wife's mother egeryadrugogo hunter
2.6 The growing howling - you've hit the plane.
Joke #38824 —  
 
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- I wonder why in the vodka bottles to come up with additional
stopper with a small hole?
- This is to wean people to drink from the throat.
- Well, and how? An effect?
- Worked. Now, do not drink. Suck!
Joke #38823 —  
 
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Often, who became a hero, just got a good push from behind.
Joke #38822 —  
 
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Poverty can not be cured. Proved free medical care.
Joke #38821 —  
 
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- What is the difference between a politician and a vampire?
- The vampire only sucks blood at night.
Joke #38820 —  
 
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Interestingly, and Where do the holes when all the cheese is eaten?
Joke #38819 —  
 
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When a man e & etsya for money - a gigolo.
When a man laughs for money - a Comedy Club.
Joke #38818 —  
 
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- Excuse me, is there not your child is screaming scream?
- Unfortunately, not mine! It would be my - would kill for dick!
Joke #38817 —  
 
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- Girl, you do not want to sell me for $ 100?
- You turn?
- What's wrapped?
- Guba!

Joke #38816 —  
 
0
 
It was in those old Soviet times when the toilet
paper was still with the letters and bore names such pathos
as "Work" and "Truth".
Joke #38815 —  
 
0
 
Dear Petersburgians! April 1 in honor of laughter bridges will be
divorce at any time and without notice.
Joke #38814 —  
 
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