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There are two deaf, one hand bandaged. And the dialogue between
them (estesssno gestures):
- What's with the hand?
- Do not want to talk ..
- Do not break, tell me ...
- Blin, flow times already told ...
- Come on! Come on!
- Well ... In general, met a girl just funky.
Sportswoman, Komsomol and just 4-th size. The same day, prevail upon
on the night of love. Well, it's in bed just crazy. Such speed
Such attitudes, in any Kamasutra not find. Unforgettable night was,
shorter. Here ...
- Pancakes, and then pose for something, tell me more!
- No, I will not tell already.
- Yes, tell!
- Say no means no.
- ... Well .... a hand-how broke?
- Why, when he said, THEN and broke!
Joke #40924 —  
 
0
 
In old age, medical card turns into a fascinating novel.
Firstonx
Joke #40923 —  
 
0
 
A person can easily live without society, a society without identity --
even easier.
Joke #40922 —  
 
0
 
Recently, scientists found that if scared hedgehog, it
becomes green, goes into the ground and dies as a cactus. Problem
that if a hedgehog time not laugh, it takes root.
Joke #40921 —  
 
0
 
- Dad, but as it is - the mountain of mind?
- Well, you know, intelligent man, he will certainly be a good student, and
consequently will absorb all the ethical and moral standards of society.
Therefore,
when he finds a bag with a million dollars, he returns to the owner. It
and
there - the mountain of the mind.
Joke #40920 —  
 
0
 
- I like seeing wife's mother, I feel that becoming a tour operator, once it
send to anywhere you want.
Joke #40919 —  
 
0
 
A man watches as the veterinarian inspects the cow in his barn,
makes her vaccinated, and asks:
- And the faster you?
- I can, but it is dangerous - you can prick, so do it with a user-friendly
I speed.
- Yes - a knowing man says - and suddenly a cow in a hurry, such as
bull?
- And me, spit!
- Yes - with obvious envy pronounced guy. - And suddenly it because of this
be low in your ear all the time, let?
- And I told her the reins, along the ridge of the ladies.
- Yes - again said with envy man. - And if she peels you here
spit?
- A shaft on the head gets.
- Wow - with even greater envy, says man. - What if she's drunk and
nablyuet here?
- Then send it to the sausage.
- Class! - With admiration and envy, says man.
- And what are you jealous?
- Well, you say, I did a taxi driver.
Joke #40918 —  
 
0
 
It is hard to resist a woman, if you are already standing.
Joke #40917 —  
 
0
 
The daughter said her mother:
- And this nude sculpture vayali with my husband.
- Oh! Oops Oops Daughter!
- Do not worry Mom, this sculpture is made in the classical school, there
This trick should be done so little.
Joke #40916 —  
 
0
 
Bad mood? Depression? Life loses its flavor?
Try a whole day without eating, and in the evening ORDER pizza!
Joke #40915 —  
 
0
 
Though fame and ephemeral, but the leaves of a laurel wreath - nezmenimoe
Support for the preparation of soup.
Firstonx
Joke #40914 —  
 
0
 
Hard to be a programmer. You come to rest for people to visit, but you
immediately show a home computer and asked to deal with it
problems. Imagine what the proctologist.
Joke #40913 —  
 
0
 
Menu "new Russian" in old age - foie gras and Viagra ...
Joke #40912 —  
 
0
 
The Netherlands is developing its space program, designed to surpass
space to achieve the great powers.
"We are quite capable of successful space launches," - said
head of the Dutch Space Agency - "The main thing - it is as follows
raskumarit during launch.
Joke #40911 —  
 
0
 
I bought a guy in the market for 500 bucks a monkey and wanted her to teach
talk. Talking is not taught, and taught only one word
"Of course. Well thought Navigation have suffered such a monkey to sell on the market
back. Well suited to him man, asks:
- How much does a monkey
- 1000 bucks
- And Th so expensive
- And she knows how to talk.
- No di pi ...
- Come ask yourself
Well, that fits asks:
- You know how to talk to -?
Ta:
- "Of course"
A guy bought it, brought home and planted it on the table, asks:
- Drink are you?
Ta:
- "Of course"
- Smoke?
- "Of course"
- Eat you?
- "Of course"
- Wife fucked Th .. you?
- "Of course"
Well thought Navigation have suffered such a monkey to sell on the market. Suits
him a poor prospector:
- How much does a monkey
- 2000 bucks
- And Th so expensive
- And she knows where the treasure lies.
- Do not pi .. di
- Come ask yourself
Well, that fits asks:
- Do you know where the treasure is buried.
Ta:
- "Of course"
Bought and brought a lady seated on the table, opened the map (a finger at the map):
- Here?
Ta:
- "Of course"
Took the monkey went to the north, came almost at the North Pole.
Asks here to dig:
- "Of course"
Gap drift
- Perhaps deeper?
- "Of course"
- Maybe more?
- "Of course"
- And can you naeb ... Yesh?
- "Of course"
- And you pi .. dy to give??
Ta:
- Do not ..
Joke #40910 —  
 
0
 
In any organization (company, on the company) - will not do, if
there are no Jews. Although a small percentage of this "enzyme catalyst"
must be present. This is especially true of anti-Semitic
Organizations ...
Joke #40909 —  
 
0
 
Young boys (typical representatives of the "golden youth") sitting in
classroom wheelbarrow. From the tinted jeep parked next to go well
Ve-h-ry beautiful girl.
Anti-Semitism:
- Hey, baby, sucking Daddy!
From the jeep goes sheared ambal-bodyguard:
- Let me suction on the kidneys!
Andrew (c)
Joke #40908 —  
 
0
 
In the corridor of the Conservatory student stops the teacher.
- Professor, I composed a symphony.
- Not kompoziruyte my brains.
verstak

Joke #40907 —  
 
0
 
Bill Gates received a higher education! Finally Wind stop
works bad!
Joke #40906 —  
 
0
 
Russia's genetics brought new species of shrimp - and Prevedko Medvedko.
Joke #40905 —  
 
0
 
Leo comes to the doctor:
- Doctor, I lost weight, the stomach is constantly sucking.
- That you have a lack of proteins, fats, vitamins, need more to eat,
moreover, a natural for you to eat.
- I know this I came to you and not for the same advice.
Joke #40904 —  
 
0
 
Dima Bilan's DNA code coincides with the code of its entrance.
Joke #40903 —  
 
0
 
Parents! If your child is 18 does not buy condoms,
means one of two things:
- Either he is still lucky.
- Either it still no luck.
Joke #40902 —  
 
0
 
To future Ksenia family was strong, her future husband needed
Good reins.
Joke #40901 —  
 
0
 
Rings Rinat Akhmetov (the richest Ukrainian) Abramovich:
- Roman, hello. And let Microsoft buy Napara?
- Nahr you this hemorrhoids?
- Why, Windu decided to upgrade, it started from me something to want,
not loaded ... a license to buy a toad presses.
Joke #40900 —  
 
0
 
Rushes into the room pale maid:
- Madame! Your husband is not breathing in the middle of the living room, in his hand
some piece of paper, and next to the parcel.
- Finally arrived I ordered price coat!
Joke #40899 —  
 
0
 
It was in those days, when the MTS has not yet grown eggs ...
Joke #40898 —  
 
0
 
How nice sometimes to come to work and suddenly notice that you came
earliest, when there was no one. And how disgusting suddenly realize that
yesterday transferred hours and you are pinned on an hour earlier.
Joke #40897 —  
 
0
 
Wife, not looking up from the handset, said her husband, who in the spirit not
brings wife's mother:
- In my mother's unhappiness, her small wooden house burned down, she goes
to live with us.
Husband missing laptop, quickly climbs to the site for real estate, and cries
wife:
- Even if it does not go, I already bought her a new brick house.
My wife goes to another room and spoke into the telephone:
- You know, Mom, you were right ...
Joke #40896 —  
 
0
 
Medieval Inquisition tribunal.

Prosecutor: "Today we tried Giordano Bruno.
Giordano Bruno (politely correcting): Sorry, but "Bruno" - not
inclines.
Prosecutor: judge him for the heresy he preaches. Earth, you see
whether, in his opinion revolves around the sun! And why only taken
such
Giordano Bruno?
Giordano Bruno (slightly irritated): But, excuse me, "Bruno" - not
inclines.
Prosecutor: "We will not allow different Jordan Bruna bear all this nonsense
impunity.
Giordano Bruno (desperately): I agree, it was nonsense, but "Bruno" - not
inclines.
JUDGE: The last time I offer Jordan Bruno renounce his heresy and
bow knees.
Giordano Bruno: I would in all - all agree with you, but here only
"Bruno" - does not bow!

PS: That's dead man. He died in the fight for the honor of the name and the purity
native language.
___Efremov Gennady (Tver)
Joke #40895 —  
 
0
 
- Winter fishing do you like?
- Where did you get?
- A mug red.
Joke #40894 —  
 
0
 
Yesterday in the skies over Kubinka trying ejection face two
Air Force lieutenant colonel.
The aircraft finally left without a pilot, successfully missed in
air, fully complied with all the curricula of firing in the staffing
Ordered landed at the airfield.
Joke #40893 —  
 
0
 
He was a man of special warehouse - the warehouse manager deficits.
Joke #40892 —  
 
0
 
Who in this country more than anyone cares about democracy? Well, of course,
FSB. Her office is filled almost all the opposition
organizations ...
Joke #40891 —  
 
0
 
- You have 14 children, is a family tradition?
- No, we have a different tradition, and the kids side effect of this tradition.
Joke #40890 —  
 
0
 
If you set the shredder instead of the basket on the toilet, the degree of secrecy
automatically increased by two points.
Joke #40889 —  
 
0
 
A camel can drink for two weeks. I respect.
verstak

Joke #40888 —  
 
0
 
I was once in the subway fingered as a husband for 5 years did not touch.
Joke #40886 —  
 
0
 
- And my wife telepath, knows in advance when I had time to work
come. On the table is always vinishko, brandy, zakuson, and the windows are open,
airs.
Joke #40885 —  
 
0
 
For most women, IQ males measured in centimeters.
(c) Sj ...
Joke #40884 —  
 
0
 
Little Johnny:
- Marya Ivanovna, and why you have no children?
- Well, my husband does not like children.
- But he said to me every time, was very fond of children!
Joke #40883 —  
 
0
 
In elections in 2008 to become president a candidate who
promise to abolish Daylight Saving Time.
Joke #40882 —  
 
0
 
Ukraine on Eurovision 2007 decided to send Verka Serduchka.
And I propose to Russia to send Putin!
For another chance to send Putin's Russia will not.
Joke #40881 —  
 
0
 
"In the beginning of life tormenting questions, and in the end - the answers"
(author - respect!)

Letters from the army.

... Server will be in the convoy troops. Inmates say not in our opinion:
themselves as "Kent" and us "cops" ...

... He walks with me alone "Kent", promises to put out "shnift." What is it --
I do not know. How do I know - I'll write ...

... I learned, finally, what is "shnift! And it would be better not to know ...
Joke #40880 —  
 
0
 
People learn very quickly.
Simply, they are very few live.
Joke #40879 —  
 
0
 
Everyone in itself is already a unit, but in life he still adds
zeros - who right, who left.
Joke #40878 —  
 
0
 
Called to war with the peasant farm. He protested:
- Yes I am a pacifist, to shoot people can not, only with little animals and
Yaksha!
- Do not worry, you're in enemy tanks overwhelm skunks!
Joke #40877 —  
 
0
 
Signs: If you spit in the face of the head, it's time to wake up.
Joke #40876 —  
 
0
 
The monkeys live in warm countries, whole days doing nothing, just
eat and fuck. Work of the monkeys made man and now man
fucking little, and works all day. In my opinion, monkeys have
threw ...
Joke #40875 —  
 
0
 
Trade discounts - this is when you take off the excess product, and you tell them
extra money.
Joke #40874 —  
 
0
 
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