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- Vanya, you're the king sat on a stake!?
- Well, yes ... I have already spent.
Visitor of the restaurant more and more and more heated, waiting longer
hour, when he will bring the ordered dish. Finally there
- Even a minute or two, sir, and I will give you your fish.
- And could not you tell me what you catch her? - Maliciously
asked the visitor. - Perhaps I can recommend more
- How to solve the demographic problem in Russia?
- Easy! If the guy on the jaw faces and Russian passport, IQ> 140, wench
more than 16 - the alleged rape did not take it! Givest
Every time you read a good book, I interrupt to thank
his teacher. I did this until until it changed its
for an undisclosed number in the directory.
A soldier ran up to the Ensign:
- Comrade Lieutenant, from the warehouse box of cartridges disappeared!
- What was lost? Why not me?!
Preparations for the New Year. It is man, sells more crackers.
Suitable guy and says: "my two pieces. Seller: "sell only
one at hand. "Boy:" Why? "Seller:" because the second you have
not hear. "
Airplane. Flight New York - Moscow.
Passenger opens a laptop, a dialogue with Windows:
- Found new hardware: "Boeing 747". Configure?
What to France mid-century before last differs from the modern
In France, the position of Emperor was elective, and in the position of Turkmenistan
- Are not you ashamed to walk the dog without a muzzle?
- Yes sorry for her, is sick, die soon, even the joy in a bit.
- And what is she so sick?
It is known that 20% of men fucking 80% of women. Recently discovered
that 80% of men say they are in the 20%.
- Listen, as soon as de-dollarization that we will: evroizatsiya or
- You know, I think, to have only yuanizatsiya will make it ...
The welfare of our family this year increased by 2 times.
Previously, we brewed a tea bag for two, and now - each with its own.
One prostitute in order to advertise tattooed on domestic
sides of the thighs profiles of the two Presidents - Russia and the United States, who knows
both - twice for free, one - one. Comes in. Russian, watched
looked to the right but says Vladimir .. was once
free .. The American admitted to the course of Bush .. The third was a Lithuanian ..
looked and looked and said: who is right and the left do not know, but in the center
like ours - Landsbergis.
- Why did you have a mirror over weights? - Asked a friend of the seller.
- Oh, my dear, you're not familiar with women - he grins. - When
can admire themselves in the mirror, whether they will look at the arrow
- Please bring kharcho - makes an order visitor
waiter - just not too hot, because I'm in a hurry.
The waiter brings him a plate.
- I told you not too hot, and you brought me hot water.
- And you poduyte him.
- If I was going to blow, I would have ordered a trombone, but not kharcho.
What is the peak of fame?
This is when you make up an anecdote, put on anecdote. Py, and you
a couple of days to tell your friends.
The most popular prandial anecdote on January 1: "Something you have food
Generals are always preparing for the last war, and women of the past man.
Kengooryatniki - Monkey for juvenile offenders.
The most famous theme
... in women's conversations:
1) All men - bastards;
2) Dress up nothing.
... men's conversation:
1) All women - fools;
2) do not ride on anything.
Coat on the girl should be soft, so it was pleasant to stroke under it
To the Russian people could not go to work, it needs to be laid up not
less than forty degrees.
In connection with the invention of the bicycle by the American scientist in 2006
take all of past bikes scooters.
"United Russia", "Fair Russia", "Free Russia", "Another
Russia "... Light Mage Anton Gorodetsky also decided to establish a new unit --
"Other Russia". The corresponding statement is sent to the Inquisition
President. The block will consist of two parties - "Night Russia and
"Russia day" ...
The office of Vladimir Putin.
- A second. Commander of the Navy to me! Today loss
the navy were?
- Oh no!
- Hello, George? A-4, by
If you are racing the car at a hundred miles per hour and it is ten meters away from you --
Counsel to the accused:
- I could take up your defense, but my services are many. You
able to pay for them?
Defendant (young people):
- Well, I have no money, but there is a gorgeous sports car --
Perhaps you will accept it as a reward?
- Good, good. So what you are accused?
- The hijacking of a snazzy sports car ...
If your girlfriend in a bad mood - do not worry,
it is not sexually transmitted!
Houses Lukashenka is the same TV, as the majority of Belarusians.
Only a special panel - when it changes channels on or off
TV, the same thing is happening all over Belarus.
Russia's Cosmonauts angered by the recent introduction of VAT
around the Earth.
- What you first see when you see a beautiful girl?
- First, the hair, then eyes, lips ... neck ... chest ... waist ... Y
Pugacheva sits at a barber shop, resorts Kirkorov.
- Alka, I'm with you provided the game!
- And who will you need?
- All I'll need, I - megastar!
- You schmuck. Without me, you will forget tomorrow.
- And who will then megastar?
- Yes, any schmuck, which I unwound. Can now this barber
untwist a month.
Life Sergei Zverev began to improve.
The inscription in the toilet with blood:
"Hurray!" I'm not pregnant! "
- My dear, here we will hang shelves, there's going to eat, and there will
- Listen, dear! Come on without it! We have a total of 15 days was given, but not
- How much we all Jews? - Asked Brezhnev, Kosygin.
- Millions of three - four.
- And if we are to all of them allowed to leave, many will want?
- Millions of ten - fifteen.
WHO IS WHO IN RUSSIA
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, the father of the hydrocarbon bombs, the husband of the country,
Mr. flasher 1999-2006.
Volfovich Vladimir Zhirinovsky, the demon-comedian, successful brother of the clown
Yuri M. Luzhkov, Moscow pereosnovatel, merische good, long,
storuko under construction.
Valentina Matvienko, gubernantka and gradomater.
Sergei Kuzhugetovich Shoigu, Dr. Life, flying Ikhtiandr. Stored
minimized in the plane.
Abramovich, Roman Abramovich, football sailor, nedopolubog, father
Five future billionaires.
Vladimir R. Solovyov, hurdler. Satisfied with the fighting gundosyh with
guttural. Major glamor.
Eugene A. Kiselev, combat robot democracy. With arms lifted.
Bedrosovich Filipp Kirkorov, singer, mouth, large Bulgarian pepper. The input
Ottsovich Boris Moiseyev, singers, Prince Zagolitsin, the Marquis de Zad, Earl
Ejaculate, the rider in horrible.
Sergei Zverev Papovich, Malvina. Area kiss 0,5 square. m.
Tina Cadillacs, girl sedan with an open top. So sexy, that
even the trees rush to meet her.
Ksenia Sobchak, loshadevushka.
Stas Editovich Pyekha, babenkin son.
Edvard S. Radzinsky, author, publisher of cries and moans,
bormoturg their books.
Konstantin L. Ernst Kaltenbrunner, Gauleiter of the First Channel,
baksenfyurer $ $.
Daria Arkadievna Dontsova, star of sludge, the world first began to be published
Regina I. Dubovitskaya, woman Gump. And train to catch shrimp.
Valeria Ilinichna Novodvorskaya, sumo wrestler with the regime, ottsyha Russian
democracy, woman picket. Partklichki - Borovaya ulcer "and" Cast-iron
Dmitry Medvedev, the successor to the transmitter, the twenty-fifth frame
Sergei Borisovich Ivanov, Vice-successor to the transmitter, the son of Defense Minister
from the court and prison.
Alla Pugacheva, it is Joseph Davidovich Kobzon, literally mother
Anastasia Volochkova, barelina. Stolbovaya vydvoryanka of the Greater
Andrey Karaulov, journalist and sculptor. "LePla smelly figures
the material of the customer. "
Vladimir Pozner, Russian-American phrase, Professor
tolerance. He suffers from prudence.
Gennady A. Zyuganov, the warthog. Alternately in the usual places
accumulations of old women and money.
Yurievna Maria Sharapova - King Kong Ping-pong, beauty. Obuchi head
in the Grand Slam.
Oleg Maskaev - the main cam mechanism Russia
sports, woman for adults. Served in the army tank.
Nikolay V. Basque Country, a popular Caruso for Dummies. Operated
image fatted nightingale. Love.
(c) Evgeny Shestakov (http://eu-shestakov.livejournal.com/)
Sinners Christian Hell awaits. And sinners-Jews - the Holocaust beyond the grave?
Russia Chinese will grow.
Rollback "- that is the wrong term. Correct to say - "drank" ...
Pasterns hew - kickbacks fly ...
Why budget money still hew? Is Russian Ruble
and remained a wooden?
We blondes have such a profession - the architect-ophthalmologist ... eyes
If the skiers before the competition to smear ass turpentine, will
is considered doping?
A cop patrolling the territory on horseback, he sees a little girl at
bicycle, stops her and asks:
- Girl, what you have a beautiful bike!
The girl shyly replied:
- Thank you.
- And who gave it to you?
- Santa Claus.
- Really? Well then tell Santa Claus that the next time he set
a bicycle headlamp.
The girl looks at ment on the horse and suddenly said:
- And you, uncle, a policeman, a beautiful horse!
- Thanks, girl.
- And who gave it to you?
- I, too, Santa Claus!
- Really? Well then tell him that the horse radish should be the bottom
and not from above.
On New Year all bought a Christmas tree. I decided to be creative and bought
New Year's joke "And we in the flat gas, and you?" each new
All year-to-date and relevant.
1st January - is a day when the whole day as a great morning.
And accustomed to take a liking alcohol is not easy to catch a herring
wine sauce to make a fur coat.
Mom does not allow me to watch online. She said that there is corruption,
Math and bad. The only site that I can open the about: blank.
At first it was boring, but then I was involved. Now I live there are two
imaginary friend, and I hear the voices from the wall!