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Interestingly, all firms that represent in Russia proceeds from
impotence, focuses on the fact that they are compatible with alcohol.
Joke #42366 —  
 
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One priest who is tired of listening to "Disclaimers" about why people do not
go to church, wrote the following --

Several reasons why I did not wash:

1. Because I was forced to wash in childhood.
2. Because I was not taught to wash in childhood.
2. Those who washes - hypocrites - they think that they are cleaner than others.
3. I can not decide which soap is better.
4. I once washed, but then I got tired of it.
5. I wash my face only on major holidays - Christmas and Easter.
6. None of my friends did not wash.
7. I begin to wash when I'm old and dirty.
8. I have no time for washing.
9. In winter the water is too cold and summer is too warm.
10. I do not want me to earn manufacturers of soap.
11. I moyus in the soul (a play on words, who will understand)
12. All soap equally washes. Different varieties of soap invented
crooks in white coats.
13. All wars in the world because of the soap.
14. All varieties of soaps have their drawbacks. I moyus three soaps at once. For
Only such a combination of soaps correct.
Joke #42365 —  
 
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- Comrade photographer, I told you my daughter has only just want to warn
I have it on one eye crooked.
- Well, eyes podretushiruem.
- But it is a little lop-eared.
- Well, the ears "cut off".
- But her teeth and not all.
- Can teeth and penciled. By the way, if not secret, why are you her
shoot?
- Strange you photographers, who also married a girl without a passport will.
Joke #42364 —  
 
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Penguin and zebra came to the photographer.
- You color photograph?
- No, just black and white.
Joke #42363 —  
 
0
 
Patriot - a man who loves his country, but its citizens can not stand
can.
Joke #42362 —  
 
0
 
Dear Mayor Luzhkov. Just read the news that Moscow intends
spite of Georgia to build a new neighborhood in Tskhinvali. In connection with this,
My question is - whether it is possible to make Moscow spite of Georgia bought
my new computer, cell phone, Adidas sneakers and a couple of bottles of beer?
Joke #42361 —  
 
0
 
Urologist? Sleazebag! He looked disdainfully at my dick
disgust touched him with two fingers - and then put this account
though blowjob made ...
Joke #42360 —  
 
0
 
Following the package of measures to combat corruption, which includes
a Dictionary with the definition of the word corruption, and the law
obliging officials to inform on themselves, the government of Russia will issue
package of measures to counter the rain and wind.
Joke #42359 —  
 
0
 
Announcement under the heading "Sale of real estate in Moscow:

"Sell balcony "....
Joke #42358 —  
 
0
 
And I myself on the cell cuckoo set. While a hundred times "ku-ku" is not
hear - I do not take up.
Vasil Lucas
Joke #42357 —  
 
0
 
- Children, how many radians to complete rotation clockwise?
Masha: 2pi.
- Good for you, Masha.
Little Johnny: 4pi! Well, look, Marivanova: 3:14, 6:28, 9:42, and finally,
12:56.
Joke #42356 —  
 
0
 
In Moscow, combined technology disperse clouds and antigololednuyu
processing. Now the snow is melting even in the clouds.
Joke #42355 —  
 
0
 
We are all Georgians now a little! - Bush said, and spizdil purse from
Obama.
Joke #42354 —  
 
0
 
There is such a profession - to defend themselves from the motherland.
Joke #42353 —  
 
0
 
Russia's guys do not want to serve in the army, that even now are born
girls.
Joke #42352 —  
 
0
 
What will happen if the head of the country to throw a shoe?

Bush: dodges, then says: "Boot was a tenth the size!"
shoe throwing himself leads security and breaks his arm.

Putin: Catches of shoes on the fly, throwing back and falls between the aggressor
eye. Then that leads security, and nothing else about him is not known.

Medvedev: bends, so that the shoe flew over him, said: "Well
Well, everyone has the right to express their opinion ...". Hooligan
leads security, the next day he was fired.

Obama: Not in time to remove shoes hooligan caught ohrantsy and carry on
hands of the premises. All believe that man was simply bad.

Hu Jintao (President of China): At the entrance to the building botinkonositelya
staff telepathic secret police noticed a suspicious the mental activity
protection of all delays within a radius of 10m to clarify the circumstances.

Yushchenko: Gets a boot in the face, then throwing himself accuses
shoes that he had "a Kremlin agent" and wants to "undermine the independence
Ukraine. Tymoshenko supporters is incident and begin to chant
antiyuschenkovskie slogans.

Saakashvili: Seeing flying in his shoes, hiding under the table and thence
notify all those present on the termination statement "because
sudden change in the situation. "protection squeezes all of the premises.

Lukashenka: dodges shoe. Protection takes the opposition leader at the hands
and leads to the president. Belarus asks "What are you unhappy?"
listens to the answer, and begins to tell how much he did for
improving the lives of the people and prosperity of Belarus. Ashamed
oppositionist distracts guards.

Nazarbayev: dodges the boot, runs to the rebels and personally
beat him with protection.

Pratibha Patil (woman President of India): Catches thrown caution
boots on the fly, presses it to his chest, and begins to sing and dance.
Protection leads dance around throwing himself shoe, who also sings and
dances.
Joke #42351 —  
 
0
 
And the President of his whole country is affectionately called: - Our Prezik.
Joke #42350 —  
 
0
 
old Odessa wanders through the city.
sees on the fence inscription: "Yushchenko is so!"
He says to himself: - "Taki for the first time I see shoby word shmuck wrote with
three errors! "
Joke #42349 —  
 
0
 
Never doubt that a friend - a friend, otherwise you will soon have
my friends. I never doubted that the enemy - an enemy, otherwise you
will soon have to change the output to suit remote.
Joke #42348 —  
 
0
 
Get up to someone else's point of view is very useful, but only in order to
not give trample their own.
Joke #42347 —  
 
0
 
An employee arrived at work an hour late. All in bandages.
- Why are you late? asks the chief.
- I fell from the fifth floor.
- And what, you fell for an hour?
Joke #42346 —  
 
0
 
Sit two Somali pirate on the turret Ukrainian tank.
- Hey, Vasily Ivanovich, and yet those that we drove from Georgia, better
were.
- But these, Petka of shit do not have to launder.
Joke #42135 —  
 
0
 
At the insistence of the democratic public, General Frost was convicted
The Hague tribunal, for the ethnic cleansing of the French in 1812-1813 and he
Germans in 1941-1944. "More of this will not happen again" - promised
world public Vova and Dima ...
Joke #42134 —  
 
0
 
Vasya fuck fag on the pot.
Another convict, comes in, pisses, looks at the case and said:
- Vasya, sho fuck, this is okay. But how do you bosote explain that you tell him
while dick wanker?
- Yes, I ... Yes, I thought that it pierced through and through!
Joke #42133 —  
 
0
 
From the report of the chief of the tax:
"It is hard to find a black wages in the black economy, especially when
economy, then no ... "
Joke #42132 —  
 
0
 
Students.
He bought her a ticket to the pool and said:
- Drink all you want, all paid for.
Joke #42131 —  
 
0
 
Previously regarded as second-hand car at age 7, now 5.
Previously, the president is elected for 4 years, now at 6.
Shabby president better used car!
Joke #42130 —  
 
0
 
- Mom, how many times have I told you: Do not Durakabama, and Barack Obama!
Joke #42129 —  
 
0
 
In America, was appointed a Negro president, to put the blame on him
consequences of the crisis?
Amateurs!
Blacks need to appoint before the crisis that could topple and
consequences, and the crisis itself.
Here in Russia everything is correctly done.
Joke #42128 —  
 
0
 
- Holmes, as you distinguish Russians from the Martians?
- It's elementary, Watson! In Martians face red ears,
and the Russians - after ...
Joke #42127 —  
 
0
 
The habit of a notch on the nose brought Pinocchio to samoamputatsii body
smell.
Joke #42126 —  
 
0
 
The last hero of one party to another:
- How do you think, and horse meat is delicious?
Joke #42125 —  
 
0
 
During the filming of reality show "Survivor" comedian M. Grushevskii hit
a horse. Grushevskii got off lightly. Ksenia Sobchak not
affected.
Vasil Lucas
Joke #42124 —  
 
0
 
There are three stages of courage, men!

Stage 1:
Her husband comes home from work late, my wife with a broom by the door stands.
He: "You have to sweep or somewhere else fly?"

Stage 2:
Her husband comes home from work in the morning, my wife lying in bed and
pretends to be asleep.
Her husband takes the chair and puts it in front of "dormant" wife, sits down and watches.
My wife does not stand up and asked: "What are you doing?"
He said: "When will the concert, I want to sit in the front row!"

Stage 3:
Her husband comes home from work in the morning, cheerful, full of lipstick and women's
spirits.
Wife in the kitchen, breakfast, angry, turned back to him.
Male nodhodit behind her, gives her a slap on the Priest and said:
"You're next!"
Joke #42123 —  
 
0
 
The crisis - is when a 30-year cash go to your imagination more than
sex. . .
Joke #42122 —  
 
0
 
The State Duma adopted the law by which corrupt officials in the media now
be called "alternative earning. (c)
jenyay.livejorunal.com
Joke #42121 —  
 
0
 
The best way to invest money in the purse.
Joke #42120 —  
 
0
 
They took a mortgage? The crisis and the bank you have selected an apartment? Smoke
Golden Java and you could win a tent!
Joke #42119 —  
 
0
 
To survive the crisis, Moscow Metro them. Lenin dismisses all
Metrobudivnikiv and invites you to the metro.
Joke #42118 —  
 
0
 
It is useful to go to work at the station - yet get there, not once squeezed out
you slave.
Joke #42117 —  
 
0
 
- Marriage of convenience, it's like?
- Build all in single file: the first-second to calculate! "
- First.
- Second.
- Everything! First married to the second.
Joke #42116 —  
 
0
 
Reflections:
... President - was ... Prime Minister - was ... Patriarch ... About!
Joke #42115 —  
 
0
 
In protest doctors took to the streets. Authorities can not understand what
want the doctor, because no one can figure out what is written
on banners.
Joke #42114 —  
 
0
 
When an intellectual said that he was in great need, do not understand - that
Does he have no money, or whether he just stepped in shit.
Joke #42113 —  
 
0
 
The most self-critical writer in the world - Dostoevsky. It was he who wrote
world-famous book, "Dostoevsky Idiot.
Joke #42112 —  
 
0
 
There are two actors:
- Listen, the last play you played so great a fool!
- Why is played?
Joke #42111 —  
 
0
 
God forbid you to be rich poor friends.
Joke #42110 —  
 
0
 
Previously the fences simply write "Masha - whore", but now more and
phone number.
Joke #42109 —  
 
0
 
We forecaster is asked:
- How much is three times six?
- Night: 10-12, afternoon: 18-20.
Joke #42108 —  
 
0
 
Not hit face in the dirt on New Year's night! Hit her face in a salad ...
Joke #42107 —  
 
0
 
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