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Unclear why modern movies show a wider audience?
They should look only professionals: psychiatrists, Sexologists.
On the balcony overlooking a Jewish boy and shouted to his brother:
- Izzy, Izzy, Beja skorey home. Today mother herring zarezala.
- Hurray! We are going home - at home in Kansas! - Ellie grabbed
Totoshka hands and started spinning with joy. - Friends, let us fly in
Kansas together. Balloon all survive. And at home? Houses and straw
- I'll stay, I'm moving, perhaps, in the Emerald City! - Evaluating the prospect
Issue of the Armenian radio:
- What man holds the greatest potency?
- We think Columbus. He even stood eggs.
In Russia, live the best people, and live a better life abroad ...
In the box is the church channel. Leading the priest, raising his hands to
heaven: "Lord, who art at the Bi-Bi-Si!"
- Hello, this is a polyclinic?
- What happened?
- I'll eat polbanki sprats with cucumber and washed down with milk. Strawberries washed,
or it does not matter?
Compulsory treatment of alcoholism has led to drink-it
dropped, but was very fond of treatment.
Rzhevskij knocks on the door of the mistress of high society.
- H.. Nd in a leather coat ..
The door opens and the lady from the threshold Lieutenant:
- Rzhevskii, how many times I asked you to leave this netsenzurschinu
when dealing with me! Now I close the door, you knock again
and introduced himself as an officer relies sovereign.
The door slams, a lieutenant in bewilderment scratching his head again, hesitantly
- H.. Th ... In Astrakhan hat! ..
Plant for production of copper basins and covered their own products.
A drunken driver was arrested by Russia in Berlin, when he tried to give
bribe a speed bump.
They talk to the two newcomers in Moscow:
- Well, what are your plans?
- To conquer Moscow?
- No, burn!
Buy ten packs of chewing gum --
- And get a tie as a gift!
Georgia severed diplomatic relations with Nicaragua.
In Nicaragua, surprise - they had never even heard of Georgia ...
- Candidate at the rally threw rotten eggs!
- And I heard that there were applause!
- Yes, if successful hit.
Looking at the number of luxury cars on the streets of the city, suddenly
understand what had happened to the money from the American economy ...
- Abram, what happened? You are silent all day today!
- I thought
- About what?
- About the Hadron Collider and the world crisis ..
- And what comes first - the world crisis or start collider?
- Sarah, whichever comes first - does not matter, it is important that under any scenario we
find ourselves in a huge ass ...
- Rabinovich, all the crisis, but you seem to yachts and islands have become one
the richest people in the world? Where??
- Yes, it's not me. It is my great-grandfather in 1909 in Illinois, in
bookmaker's office, the last 10 cents, bought a ticket
1:100000000000000 that the Negro, in the next 100 years, will become President
She was married at the time of crisis. I said quietly, cook a tasty, the head does not
- Give me some help on the composition of the family!
- In what organization?
- Yes, I am not in the organization. I am very interested.
Distributor of potatoes in Russia is not Peter I, and
scholar and lexicographer Bolotov (1738-1833).
Potatoes he brought back from Germany after participating in the Seven Years' War.
Russian peasants eating potatoes refused, calling it "a damned
They considered it poisonous, in general - why apples multiply in the ground?
Then Bolotov put all collected potatoes in the barn at night, and the fly
guards, and night security cleared.
And then, the peasants began to steal potatoes from a gentleman. So, since
Potatoes spread widely in Russia
Deceived husband is employed in the circus. Director:
- What can you do?
- Support on the horns!
Want to become a millionaire overnight? Invent a machine for
automatic sorting of pairs of socks after washing!
Visionary funambulist urgently buy two stacks of straw.
Two things fill the soul with ever new and increasing wonder and
awe so frequently, the longer one thinks about them - it
starry sky above me and the moral law within me ... and ... even as I
managed to fall in love with this bitch!
- When I was a bachelor, I was very afraid of marriage ...
- And now?
- Now convinced that fear is not in vain ...
Allergy to work is treated only by refraining from contact with the allergen.
Once the steel to fight corruption, factory
envelopes bankrupt ...
On the day the police in Moldova, members of the government and the people laying flowers
"lying" to the police.
The most beautiful girl in the resort where there are already finished
leave, and at work when it's time to retire.
Special offer for GSM customers - "odious number." Now
all calls to your enemies you will be charged for them as international.
Handbag, accidentally lost a few days ago the American
astronaut Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper during the exit to the open
space, accidentally flew over Iran and accidentally referred to the Pentagon
photos of Iranian nuclear facilities.
The State Duma has decided not to cut the New Year holidays in
Instead, decided to reduce the cost of medicine, education and
- Little Johnny, are you prepared a response to the question: "My understanding of the words AS
Pushkin to burn the hearts of men?
- I Marivanna, y Bathymetric asked how he understands it.
- Well, what did he say?
- He said: "cool kid, that Pushkin. We are such devices as" verb "
not even know simple soldering zhzhem. Deep in their ass
but the heart never gets. "
Institute of noble maidens invite trainees for the course "Culture
return found wallets.
Firm Hires by converting, leasing, marketing and
prikliringu for sending mail.
Headquarters Commander requires cleaning the floor rate. Very
Two friends meet at the resort. One says:
- I'm here with the same ulcer.
- And this time I left my wife at home.
His wife wrote to her husband with the resort: "For six weeks I lost weight exactly in half.
Can I'll stay here a little more? "The husband is responsible telegram:" Stay
there for another six weeks. "
The man tells the doctor:
- Twenty years of living with his wife and no children. What did they not do - no.
- But I advise your wife to go for treatment at the famous resort --
the doctor said.
- Yes we were there for two months ...
- And here you go I did not send!
Seventy Alyonushka Ivanushka brother, stopping in front of a puddle:
- Do not drink, old goat, from hooves, back kid not going to!
Subtle English sense of humor about this woman's friendship.
Conversation 20-anniversary release of two bosom friends of school:
-... I'm married!
- "Even" or "more"?
(c) Ivan Fuckov
A guy in sandals and a quilted jacket in a mausoleum is on her knees and beats
forehead on the floor:
- Sorry, Ilich, long way behind - did not have time! Piece of land would be!
Ebabelnaya woman modern Internet era: e-baba.
Ad safari park:
Backwards not to drive up: elephants and rhinoceroses fuck cars.
Addicts to note: When you are ready inject a dose of heroin,
Remember that just a month ago they powerfully prosralsya a Tajik.
What can be contrasted with female logic? Compliment.
A drop of nicotine kills the horse, and a drop of nicotine with a pinch of grass makes
this horse Pegasus.
- Vasily Ivanovich! Bath is ready!
- No time to wash, steam, Petya! Crisis!
Undress in the changing room, vodka drink - and back!