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News: In China, after the departure of Russian team at the Great China
wall of the Great Russian discovered the inscription!
Towards the NATO armada in the Black Sea came out strongly from Sevastopol
Our ships: battleships "harmless" torpedo "mild" and
"Clumsy", and the pride of Russia's fleet - the missile cruiser
We are talking happiness mean love.
We're talking love, we mean sex.
We're talking sex, mean debauchery.
We say depravity, we understand others.
That is why happiness is not always with us, and others.
- Hello, great, how are things, Th doing?
- Hey, that's now in the store, buy wallpaper.
- A repair started!?
- ... Oh no .. Purely for fun ..
- Doctor, I can see through walls. What do I do?
- Go into the women's bath!
- No digging in the ears - he himself then these'll gnaw your nails.
"I cry and cry ... Put all the correct accents in this phrase, and you
themselves understand the extent of its creditworthiness.
America has no friends, but it is only a dollar. And yet, she has no enemies,
but only those who prevent it from freely selling its dollar.
Audit in stock:
- And where did he go car instant coffee?
- Taki disappeared!
- My husband - a holy man: no drinking, no smoking, with girls does not occur.
- Yes, yes, yes, he even had a halo, as long as his horns not
At the Olympics in Beijing Yelena Isinbayeva set a record by jumping from
sixth. After that, she jumped for joy even higher! Unfortunately
new record has not been registered ...
Shouted the well: "Ah!", And from the well: "A".
He shouted into the pit: "wow!", And from the well: "Y".
Throw a grenade into the pit, and from the well - the fragment in his forehead.
- Favorite - said the bride - when we sign for, in your house
will a woman who knows what's what in the culinary business.
- Good news, I do not know you I had such a clever hostess.
- It is not about me. That - my mother.
After the wedding the bride groom recognized:
- Sorry, but I pay child support to two children.
- Do not worry, it does not undermine our budget: I just double
- Before we get married, I would like to acknowledge you in all its
sins, - said the young man to his bride.
- But you have me already confessed to everything a week ago!
- Yes, dear, but this latest data!
The guy sitting sad, sad. A friend asks:
- What happened?
- My fiancee is getting married.
- Are you crazy! And for whom?
- For me.
Matchmaker matchmaker only daughter of the local rich man. Lists all
dignity of the groom. Then he says:
- But he has one little drawback: stutters.
Concerned mother of the bride:
- What, always?
- God forbid! Only when he speaks.
Illiterate people are not those who do not know how to write letters, and those who do not
able to choose his words.
The distinction between a man and a woman will never be erased. Condoms
As American medicine was unable to cope with obese nation
help came from the U.S. economy.
Over the past decades chemistry has made a huge step forward.
It is a pity that the food industry.
They talk to friends:
- How? Your husband, father and brother worked in one firm, and lover
You started a company from competitors?
- Yes, I decided that it is wrong to keep all your eggs in one basket!
1. I am America. Obey.
2. Did not create yourself an idol, but democracy.
3. Do not criticize America.
4. Pay Americans, as necessary.
5. Honor America, the mother of liberty.
6. Thou shalt not kill Americans.
7. Do not commit adultery, if not an American.
8. Do not steal from the Americans.
9. Do not lie, if not an American.
10. Do not covet American-owned. (Americans belongs to all).
Once George W. Bush to fill the gaps in education, opened the atlas
world. What was his surprise when he saw the state in the Caucasus
the name of Georgia. In Bush's eyes welled slzy: "Well in
I honor the street is called, the monuments placed, but now that a whole
state my name called - this can only one Michael! ".
Hottabych ofigeval of his audacity, but he continued to shave ...
- I insist that you confessed to me - demanded that the groom in the first
wedding night - whether I am the first man that sleeps with you?
- Of course, you will be first, my dear, if ... asleep.
Young bride decided to test her fiance of Allegiance.
- I want you tonight to walk with Jack, - she said
friend - and at the appropriate time ask him to kiss you.
The next day, the bride ran to her friend to know how things are.
- Well, you asked Jack to kiss you?
- No, I could not do it, - replied the friend. - He attacked
me and began to kiss before I had time to even think about it.
- And you'll love me when we get married?
- I think so: I have always been attracted to married women!
Two soldiers came to the commander:
- Give me a leave pass for 2 weeks, I want to marry.
- Give me, please leave pass, I want to marry. Only
I need 3 weeks.
- And why you need a week more?
- I still have to find a bride.
- It's true that you stole his bride?
- Of course.
- And you anyone help?
- Of course. Her parents.
- Daddy, why are the bride and groom holding hands when they go to
- Such is the custom, son. Boxers before a fight, too, shook
Medvedev said Putin after the match teams of Russia and Finland
- Thank God that we have paid the Finns, not the judges. It would be quite
ugly, if the judge began to hammer.
Roll of toilet paper - is the only bright band in my life.
For a complete happiness is always something missing.
That stool, then soap, then the rope ...
One donkey Eeyore settled in taxi drivers. This work is very suited to his
And once again, the supply of Winnie and Piglet to burrow Rabbit, Eeyore the donkey
got into the cork. Rebuilding from the slow lane of the
"fast", the donkey Eeyore sad to say:
- Well. On this side is no better. But why? And what of
the conclusion? ...
Since then, the animals build communism, they stopped talking
and do not have the money.
The successes of breeders. Russia breeders managed to bring a new breed
Dog Russian Mitvol, which is based on the Bavarian
Schnauzer and the American pit bull. Russian Mitvol very active,
but not too much endurance, but it is a bold, faithful, loyal and
noble dog. The best representatives of the new breed has taken on
We met Cinderella and the handsome prince, told each other about their
misfortunes. Cinderella was a wicked stepmother, the Prince - an evil mother-in-law.
Not one person in the world does not recognize the right of any other person
stay in bed when he himself stood.
He brought Novorussky brother's wife to the hospital, took her to the House, and he
- When will the fight, we'll call you.
- How, and all this?
- What do you like more?
- Like what? When I put the wheelbarrow on the service, to me at the time of repair other
give. And what are you, so do not do?
Novaya Zemlya. At the local range tested new missiles
Earth - New Air.
- How to catch today? I got him something to eat?
- To catch a catch, but more than we have a dead diver ...
The incident in medical school: an examination of Latin Grade retention Sidorov
inadvertently summoned the devil.
- I guess you would not believe, my friend, but I lost weight with the help
- Wait a minute, so it's a means to improve erections for men!
- That's it!
A trader in the pharmacy.
- Do you have charcoal tablets?
- Yes, but what happened?
- I have struck a double bottom.
I went to the ATM, and he asked me for twenty until Monday.
The crisis - worse than a divorce. You lose your half of the money, but save my wife.
He walked along the street, and something elusive betrayed him in the top-manager: whether
high forehead and the attentive eyes ... Whether a great costume and expensive
shoes ... Whether golden parachute dragging behind him ...
Something is not calculated Physics - Collider built in Switzerland, and the black
hole formed on Wall Street.
Autoresponder one company.
- Hello, you telephoned 777-77-77, please
Bring your phone to the tone mode.
If you want to know why we do not pay you, press 1.
If you want to know how much we will not pay, press 2.
If you want to speak to an operator, press 3, the call charge.