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By supernovae can determine where else in the universe ran
Hadron Collider.
Joke #43649 —  
 
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- Wow! "Colonel, look at what great women!
- This is for you, Lieutenant, women, and for me - already landscape.
Joke #43648 —  
 
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- A citizen in the declaration that you carry 10 tons of sturgeon.
Why do you need so much?
- Brother Mitya dying, fish soup requests ...
Joke #43647 —  
 
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Shuherizzada
Joke #43646 —  
 
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Cream - a small plum, and large plums - a sewage system.
Joke #43645 —  
 
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Human rights can be protected only by another person.
Joke #43644 —  
 
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Can not make love, the love you can only play.
Joke #43643 —  
 
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- Cheburashkin, your case about robbery on the dock goes
for further investigation. Surfaced new ..
- Witnesses?
- No, the victims.
Joke #43642 —  
 
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- Uncle sapper, but why do you backpack on your back?
- It's not a backpack! This is a parachute!
Joke #43641 —  
 
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Chef required to read a greeting in honor of their anniversary,
team unanimously decided to publish it in a magazine for gays.
Joke #43640 —  
 
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The only thing that upsets hypnotherapy, that there is only Maxima
parody of Philip.
Joke #43639 —  
 
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At Valuev fell in the woods a bear. As explained by scientists, clumsy pereel
fly-agarics, and lost the instinct for survival.
Joke #43638 —  
 
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- Usually, very sexually hungry elephant is looking for a pair.
- The female elephant?
- Yes it in such a state LinkBacks, the female elephant or an elephant. And if not
elephant, it generally LinkBacks: female, not female.
Joke #43637 —  
 
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- Isaac, have you heard that Medvedev and Bush went to the world?
- Heard Abram had heard, and this war we will not survive.
Joke #43636 —  
 
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Issue of the Armenian radio: Why does the judicial community from all legal
branches of the most popular phone right?
Answer Armenian radio: Because Themis blindfolded, and not their ears.
Joke #43635 —  
 
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First planted in the U.S. democracy.
Then countries will have to buy the paid version ...
Joke #43634 —  
 
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In the old member - as a child: a small and fractious ...
Joke #43633 —  
 
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News of extreme weight loss:
Fitter Petrov, coming out of pubs, for 40 seconds lost 1.5 liters.
Joke #43632 —  
 
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- My husband killed a beer.
- He is so between a strong drink?
- No, it was hit by a truck carrying beer ...
Joke #43631 —  
 
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The journalist wrote an article on the achievements of science.
- The whole world is waiting for news from the Large Hadron Collider with a sinking
points ... Pah! - Crosses out - with bated breath ...
Joke #43630 —  
 
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I read the news:
"Hadron Collider - the latest achievement of science ..."
Blin, can it really last??
Joke #43629 —  
 
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A man wakes up with a terrible hangover, but I remember that was with a friend,
and calls him. He meets a depressed voice. The man asked:
- Why are you so dead?
- We are with you yesterday the poker played in debt, and I'm blown.
- Yes. And I do not remember. And how much I won?
Because the tube is joyful voice be heard:
- Yes, garbage, one hundred rubles!
Joke #43628 —  
 
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- Madam, what should I give you to get your love?
- Anesthesia.
Joke #43626 —  
 
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Armenian Radio was asked:
- How do you look at the future of China?
- Also obliquely.
Joke #43625 —  
 
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- You are so beautiful! Where is that little drawback, of which you wrote
in the marriage announcement?
- He is now in school.
Joke #43624 —  
 
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- Sign our fee.
- And something that's free is the inside?
- Yes, exit.
Joke #43623 —  
 
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Saakashvili: - You know, what's pencil gryzesh?
Yushchenko: - Why, solve a crossword puzzle ... Who is - "Supreme Being,
owner and master of all things? "The three letters, the first" B "...
Saakashvili: - As someone? Bush, of course!
Joke #43622 —  
 
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Call on the radio:
- Good day!
- Hello!
- Could you put a song Zemfira "Search"?
- What, excuse me, the song?
Joke #43621 —  
 
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Do not rush to do good. Welcome to be done slowly to notice and
appreciated.
Joke #43620 —  
 
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Thinking is not harmful, but difficult.
Say what you think, not difficult, but painful.
Think about that, he said, it does not hurt, but too late.
Joke #43619 —  
 
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Announcement: Change a white horse on any other suit. Dostali. Prince.
Joke #43618 —  
 
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- Nature has many ways of movement: in the water in the air, on
ground. But a wheel, she could not.
- Why could not, could not. She just had to create for this
rights.
Joke #43617 —  
 
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Hurricane Hanna - Hurricane Ike: "What!" Have you ever been to Haiti ??!!"
Joke #43616 —  
 
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In one small American town decided to open a kind of businessman
tavern. The trouble is that he was on the same street as the church.
Naturally, the church leadership is not satisfied, and at each
sermon is called citizens to speak out against, and pray to God
punish negligent businessman. The day before the announced opening of the tavern
was a strong thunderstorm, lightning struck the tavern and it burned to the ground. Churchmen
delighted, but not for long - a tavern owner gave them to the court
demanding compensation. Those, of course, denied everything. Hearing
both sides, the judge remarked: "I still do not know what the verdict to make,
but from the case, it follows that a tavern owner believes in the power
prayers, and all the church leadership - for some reason, no ... "
Joke #43615 —  
 
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Why laugh at a life ....
If the laugh ... Extends ... ??
Joke #43614 —  
 
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"Garbage" for any post must be at least two ... Even
public.
hrjak
Joke #43613 —  
 
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From masochists make good soldiers. The first to rush to melee
battle.
Joke #43612 —  
 
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- You ask, sir, in which institution most
appropriate place to insert the picture you painted. Can I offer you
shelter for the blind?
Joke #43611 —  
 
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Equality - is when the owners of "Mercedes" and "Zaporozhtsya" stand side by side
many hours of traffic jam and feel the same crap.
Joke #43610 —  
 
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In the arbitrary exercise of our gymnasts proved to be much weaker
than involuntary expressions.
Joke #43609 —  
 
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We arrived at the hostel wolf with a wolf and a hare with zaychihoy.
They were accommodated by gender. Wolf settled in the same room with
hare, a she-wolf with zaychihoy.
Joke #43608 —  
 
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- Dad, how did our universe?
- Formerly, my son was a different universe. And one of the planets, scientists
launched the Large Hadron Collider. There was a big bang in
result of which originated our universe.
Joke #43607 —  
 
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The mild scenario reunification of the Eastern Slavs: Tymoshenko becomes
President and marries Medvedev. Ukraine - a dowry. They
being adopted by Lukashenko - Belarus custody. Also, following the example of Angelina
Jolie may adopt Central Asian leaders ...
Joke #43606 —  
 
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In the United States published a rating sensitive countries, hindering
promote democracy in the world where Russia is on a par with North
Korea, Nigeria, Venezuela.

In Russia, compiled rating: "And you would not go on with his dick
ratings!
in which the U.S. surely take 1 st place.
Joke #43605 —  
 
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At meetings of the Presidents "without ties" Mikhail Saakashvili to
nothing ...
Joke #43604 —  
 
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Beijing Olympics opened up again - this time Paralympic.
So again, Saakashvili ordered an attack on Tskhinvali - this time on
wheelchairs.
Joke #43603 —  
 
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There is guy on the lake, sees: a boy draws water from the hand
Lake and drinks. A man shouted:
- Why are you drinking this dirty water, here all the rubbish thrown, factories waste
drained, the whole village govnostok here goes!
- What did you say?
- Yes, I say: two hands scooped!
Joke #43602 —  
 
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A foreign journalist was collecting information on corruption in Russia.
He has interviewed:
- There is corruption in Russia?
- Yes. At every step.
- And what time are you most impressed?
- When I learned that they have it outlawed.
Joke #43601 —  
 
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- What happens to women once a month and ends in 4-5 days?
- The salary of her husband.
Joke #43600 —  
 
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Wife to her husband:
- I went to a fortune-teller, you should not go into this trip.
- What, me there will be bad!?
- No, you'd just be very good.
Joke #43599 —  
 
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