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Action "Vote for Bilan, or will he be back in Eurovision for the third time"
successful. Europe breathed freely now.
What is the power - and such victories. Previously we were proud of the fact that Gagarin
first flew in space. Now - that Bilan took first place in
Europe, so like the Champions League final, we wanted to Moscow
hold more and Contest 2009, in the Luzhniki Stadium, the new lawn.
What could be worse than a bull in a china shop?
Hedgehog in the factory of condoms.
Corruption - a tax on the sale of donkey urine on some
At the construction site:
- What's that? How do you let this happen? It says the same - to go under
suspended load is strictly prohibited!
- But the boss, in the manual does not say that lie under the falling weight
- Read this line!
- I can not.
- Yes you have myopia!
- Pancakes! Not only that, I illiterate, so still and short-sighted!
- You have insulted me! I challenge you to a duel! Tomorrow morning, at 4 hours
on the outskirts. The choice of weapons for you ...
- No, no weapons! I get on my knees and humbly ask you
- Okay, so be it, I forgive you, miserable coward!
"I'd rather a despicable coward, than to get up so early!"
Enter the house salesman and starts to advertise the properties of the new
- You know, with carpets happen any trouble ...
Ink is poured onto the carpet. Mistress grabs his head.
- But now, when we had our new product, you do not have
worry about your carpet ...
- Is that a new stain remover?
- No, a new sedative ...
On the tropical resort guests visiting instructed about the dangers
In the sea very often people come to sea urchins. In sea urchins are
sharp needles. They can put on the wound infection, which leads to
swelling and sometimes even blood poisoning. Therefore, the sea urchin have
first disinfected and then have him attack.
By Director basin runs Officer:
- Nightmare! In the pool got a shark! She ate half of the visitors!
Now to our people will stop walking.
Director goes to the swimming pool - there really is a shark swims.
- This is an outrage! This PE!
- Of course an outrage! People suddenly stopped coming. And for what,
ask, I took you to the annual subscription?
The guy tells a girl:
- Come on, come to me. Seagull popem, chat, have sex ...
- Oh, no, thank you!
The girl with the offended look away.
Boy: "What a fool!" Blurted stupidly ... I had neater.
Girl: "Idiot!" How many times have I told him that I only drink coffee! "
The cult of personality cult in Russia has changed duplicity.
To fans of advertising. Salaries to state employees only pretending to be small.
In fact, it is simply great!
Grandfather planted computer. The computer is frozen. He began his grandfather pull.
Pulls, pull, pull can not. Clicked grandfather grandmother grandmother summoned
granddaughter, granddaughter summoned Zhuchka, bug summoned the cat. A cat is summoned
mouse, the program is loaded, the computer and started to work.
What kind of raising the birth rate in our country can say. If
Condoms are cheaper than children an air balloons.
If you have lost all hope of finding a guy in my life - go to the Internet,
they are all there.
Russia gave Ukraine and Georgia, its artists to speak at
Eurovision. The next step is the appointment of its president. And
no you NATO!
- Why Russia nanotechnology?
- Well why?? Technology all Nana!
One head - good.
And with everything else - better.
How to find the way to a man's heart?
Put the pointer!
- Barrymore, see here ... smile ... Now fly little bird!
- Oats, sir?
- Now we are located in the former office of Putin. In the far
end of the table is a former Putin. Behind him sits a former assistant
Putin. But he faces himself a former Putin.
How nice - to play in the fight against corruption!
Real estate agent dies and goes to hell.
Outraged, demands an explanation from St. Peter's.
The Apostle Peter:
- Charming Man, now this market, it is better you still can not find.
The wife dropped the bucket into the well. Husband descends over a bucket. She gave him the top:
- My dear, you are not afraid to go there to climb? There's so dark, so deep, so
- But before our first once, you're for me so do not worry!
Werewolves in epaulets: people-wolves from krivoohrenitelnyh structures.
Werewolves in their seats: people-bears from the party "ER."
Council fight against corruption is deeply imbued with the problems of embezzlement
and bribery ... The whole composition, as a whole, decided
dissolve itself and make an appearance with the surrender to law enforcement
The first meeting of the Council on combating corruption was devoted to the creation
large public corporations - GosKorruptsiya. As expected, its
Assets include controlling stake in Gazprom, Rosneft,
RosNanoTehnologii and other similar state-owned ...
Abramovich - just a goof compared with Gazprom: Zenit from the cup, but for
Chelsea clearly nedobashlyali.
Two English fans before the match:
- John, do you think why the local police label "HOMO" in
- Willie, do not break your head and keep away from them: catch - vyebut.
After the failure in the semifinals Ruslan Alekhno took a creative
nickname Ruslan Nuihna.
And as the "Beeline" did not think to sponsor the "Contest"?
In the final Eurovision were together on one platform choir name
Pyatnitsky team of Russia on hockey, a dance company
"Birch", FC Zenit, the ensemble hopes Babkina, Nicholas Basque group
"Brilliant", gymnast Alina Kabaeva, circus tigers Arthur Bagdasarova,
and Eduard Uspensky, Eleanor Filina with all the extras program
"In our harbor came vessels. Between them ran a dark-haired
boy with a gypsy looks and shouted: "Guys, in general, I am here
star! I am! "
At the last Eurovision Song Contest during the performance of the piano climbed Bilan
This year, Plushenko will come out of Stradivari's violins.
Washington, the White House. President of the U.S. listens to the report of the Secretary:
- The war took much more time and took far more money than
we planned. Our nation has had to suffer large casualties.
Postwar stabilization is slow and difficult. Must be recognized
that we have not been able to put an end to guerrilla war. Regular
costs impose a heavy burden on our economy, are experiencing difficult
best of times ...
- And anyway, I think we should have started this war and have no
derogate from the intended course!
- Yes, Mr. Lincoln.
Life without black bars is like a zebra without asshole.
Businessman Roman Abramovich does not like to watch fighters and detectives.
He sincerely does not understand the motivation of people, warring and killing each
another for $ 10 million.
In the fight against corruption the main thing - do not win, but to participate ...
The government struggled with corruption ... Friendship won!
Medvedev has created the Council on combating corruption. Thieves in Law
think-think on the gathering, and created in response to the Council to Combat
Rooster intellectual is someone who came out of the Coop said: "I am here for you
little natoptal, sorry:)
Only AvtoVAZ may increase the volume of production, reducing the number of
produced by motor vehicles: by increasing the production of spare
The exchanger: Cash euro dollar ... nah ... "
If you see a woman in black glasses, with the machine for counting the money in
one hand and a sword in the other, then you should know - this is Patriotic Themis.
Selling sand timer, with a second stream.
Kherson guide Plushenko told a group of American tourists
that the name of his native town in the English version sounds
roughly as "Sleepless in Seattle".
- Tell me, where is the train to Odessa?
- Already gone.
- That Good day! Where?