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The prize, which is not drained in taverns and not squander on heifers,
called the Nobel Prize.
Joke #46291 —  
 
0
 
Girl hacker hacker guy complains:
- You have got .. as you can .. We have 2 months nalyudi not go ..
The guy in the answer:
- All right .. not only Noah .. went to chat meylru!
Joke #46290 —  
 
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How to become happy? Do not make others miserable ...
Joke #46289 —  
 
0
 
Not all bad habits are equally disastrous - no influential politician
would not take place without the habit of virtuoso lie.
Joke #46288 —  
 
0
 
Absolutely fascinating: Ukraine stealing Russia's natural gas by 1.5 billion
dollars, and the number of Ukrainian billionaires with increased
5 people.
Joke #46287 —  
 
0
 
What is different from a gangster action movie? - End.
Bandit - attacked, robbed ... end - or the grave or prison.
Action - attacked, robbed ... end - or the grave or a member of parliament.
Joke #46286 —  
 
0
 
Vladimir Bryntsalov said he was ready to allocate 51% of its
enterprise Bryntsalov-A "(" Ferein ") in the state.
The state is waiting for more lucrative offers.
Joke #46285 —  
 
0
 
Well Tuk, when farmers were victorious in the battle with the harvest, then
last naturally dies. It lost the battle.
Joke #46284 —  
 
0
 
- Here you are, girl, here swear obscenities, and then those same lips will
with your young man to suck ...
Joke #46283 —  
 
0
 
New Russian squeezed busty blonde in the back seat of a Mercedes.
Passing by two spotty student, loaded with textbooks.
- Schaslivchik, - says the first, with envy looking at the sleek guy.
- And the panties? - With the hope of asking the second.
Joke #46282 —  
 
0
 
I, Vorobyov Tatiana, was late for 10 minutes at work 28.02.08, as
as a result of an accident at the intersection formed cork Bardeen-Seraphim
Derjabinoj, leave the traffic jams and get another way not possible
was, as places to turn and the adjacent roads on this route
the section between Shaumian and Bardeen no, but my car is not equipped with
system of vertical takeoff. I undertake in the case of a threefold increase
wage order the installation of this system
car, in order to avoid such outrages in the future.
Joke #46281 —  
 
0
 
Africa was politically correct Chess Championship, where the first go
black.
Joke #46280 —  
 
0
 
In connection with the fall of the dollar, the U.S. government decided to support the
Iran's initiative and to refuse payment in greenbacks pieces of paper.
So China, Japan and Russia became the world's largest holders
numismatic collections.
VK
Joke #46279 —  
 
0
 
In Moscow, the military situation, everywhere patrols, searches and raids everywhere ...
Putin on TV:
- Citizens You do of course I'm sorry, but I plan to lose ...
Joke #46278 —  
 
0
 
A long time thinking what's missing in the body of a kitten, if he eats
polyethylene. We decided that the brain ...
Joke #46277 —  
 
0
 
- Pancakes at Tiffany's birthday, you need a gift.
- Yes, dear, and I would have preferred that after the birth she had
new houseplant or pet.
- Well, if the key is the word "pet", then I would prefer
after the birth of my mother in law would be room temperature.
Joke #46276 —  
 
0
 
The salary of five thousand rubles, this is still a moral, not material
remuneration.
Joke #46275 —  
 
0
 
Refined intelligent as refined sugar - and it is not clear
more from him harm or benefit.
Joke #46274 —  
 
0
 
In connection with the abolition of the item "against all", many have decided to vote for
all.
Joke #46273 —  
 
0
 
Russia's President Vladimir Putin signed the federal law "On Making
changes in federal law "On rules changes in
federal law on federal laws and rules of their changes
Council of the Federation ".
Joke #46272 —  
 
0
 
And you know that women whose menses falls on March 8,
remain without gifts? ;)
Joke #46271 —  
 
0
 
- Sir, you rascal! I challenge you to a duel!
I leave you to choose weapons: a sword or a gun?
- Epee.
- Excellent. And I - choose a gun!
Joke #46270 —  
 
0
 
On the day of aviation brings me to his mother:
- Why not handle your holiday?
- Why is my holiday!?
- And who among the first to conquer the airspace at
tile?
Joke #46268 —  
 
0
 
Brunette - a girl who correctly read the instructions on
tube of paint for the hair.
Joke #46267 —  
 
0
 
Ivan threw stones and smashed antique clocks worth 200,000 euros.
Now he must give birth to 10 children, to pay a fine.
Joke #46266 —  
 
0
 
Of the women's conversations:
- Can you imagine? Last night I put the phone on the vibrator,
He and the whole night so never and did not call!
Joke #46265 —  
 
0
 
She was such a mug, that her specially taken to the brick factory
that he fulfilled the plan.
Joke #46264 —  
 
0
 
It's a poor worm who does not dream to become an anaconda.
Joke #46263 —  
 
0
 
In ancient alkonavty went to Colchis for the Golden wine.
Joke #46262 —  
 
0
 
Bought the rights - read the instructions.
Joke #46261 —  
 
0
 
Met two old friends.
- Hello
- Hello! Long time no see. And you seem younger.
- The secret is very simple - I use female-wrinkle cream.
- Cool! I also want to buy this cream.
- Yes, it smooths out wrinkles well. But the cream has side effects --
I started menstruating.
Joke #46260 —  
 
0
 
Unbelievable but true!
The robots emerging from a temporary stop of power, talk about
blue screen at the end of the tunnel ...
Joke #46259 —  
 
0
 
- Dad, what is May Day?
- This is an international celebration of labor.
- Dad, who are international?
Joke #46258 —  
 
0
 
At the congress of health, conducted under the auspices of the Armenian radio, it
noticed that the words "Ministry of Health warns: Smoking is dangerous for
your health, no one pays any attention. Presidium of the Congress
decided to replace the inscription on "Obkuris and'll die!"
Joke #46257 —  
 
0
 
Conversation before the statue of justice in the Supreme Court:
- Why do Themis blindfolded?
- That she has judged without respect of persons.
- Then it must have shut his ears, so judged, not listening to instructions.
- To complete the effect, it must still cut the hand that she has judged, not
taking on the paw.
- Why do you mock the poor woman? She, and so we have disabled
the first group on the head.
Joke #46256 —  
 
0
 
Prospective brides: not to marry identical twins - they
for two one egg.
Joke #46255 —  
 
0
 
- You are a long read this book?
- No, it is easy to read - four times to go to the toilet.
V. Ostrowiec
Joke #46254 —  
 
0
 
There comes a Jew in a brothel and asks the brothel-maman:
- Do you have girls who practice Jewish sex?
That confused, but not wanting to lose the client:
- Yes, there are, of course, come, sit, I am now.
He ran to the girls, asked:
- Girls, quickly, who are Jewish sex knows?
- Yes, we do not know ... - Chorus.
- Okay, Magda, you are the most experienced - you go, think of something, not
lose the same client!
Magda is a Jewish dad to his room, closes the door and
says:
- Listen, Dad, as the spirit of telling you - we have here one of the Jewish
Sex does not know. Let this: you let me quickly explain that it
is - and I'll do you a discount, 25%. A?
Jew:
- Well, here we have them and do!
Joke #46253 —  
 
0
 
What begins homeland?
From the place where it ends Gazprom.
Joke #46252 —  
 
0
 
About Putin to marry Kabaeva: Bad example - Sarkozitelen.
Joke #46251 —  
 
0
 
- Vladimir Vladimirovich, how do you feel about the fact that the site
anecdote. py constantly raises the issue of renaming Petersburg
in Putinsburg?
- Negative. Putingrad sounds better. And Putinsburg we pereimenum
Dresden.
Joke #46250 —  
 
0
 
State Duma deputies on behalf of the people want to adopt amendments to
media law. The essence of the amendments that the government will have the right to close
extrajudicial any newspaper for three warnings about the publication
false information.
The people - a counter proposal. Shoot out of court
any deputy or other official for three warning the public
lies ...
Joke #46249 —  
 
0
 
In Russia there was a robbery century, abducted two billion rubles. Y
investigation in general there is no one version that will do the robbers with
thousands of tonnes of white kruglyashek.
Joke #46248 —  
 
0
 
Sea of luck you have, cottage by the sea, too. I wish you chirya from the muzzle.
Joke #46247 —  
 
0
 
A friend asks the other:
- And why are you married, then?
- Yes, you know, companies house were not, and his wife had already happened.
Joke #46246 —  
 
0
 
What is sentiment? This 10 mikrotsionerov!
Joke #46245 —  
 
0
 
The captain turns to the sailor:
- Sailor Ivanov! Want to become a captain?
- Ko ... of course!
- Excellent! From that moment, I appoint you captain! Congratulations!
- So ... as I'll show ... this ...
- Oh yes, one more thing, our ship is sinking, so you as the captain
have to leave his last.
(c) Vyacheslav Ostrowiec
Joke #46242 —  
 
0
 
What is "Groundhog Day" in the box?
This is when every day on cable channel show "Groundhog Day" ...
Joke #46241 —  
 
0
 
Biologically active additive - BEER.
Relieves stress, trains the liver, increases sociability.
Directions for use: take with meals, three times a day during
month.
Joke #46239 —  
 
0
 
Far-distant future. They stand the city of steel and concrete, cleanliness,
trees, lawns. Utopia. Silently flying gravimobili, play and
fun children. Only grinpisovtsy ride on the old roaring and smoking
tractors with the slogans:
"We keep this world as our ancestors left it.
Joke #46238 —  
 
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